411’s WWE Smackdown Report: 02.24.06

I am Scott Fried, and I am back with Smackdown. Thanks very much for Ryan Byers for filling in for me the past two weeks. I read spoilers for the shows and I must say, recapping those must not have been easy.

Randy Orton opens up the show. He told us so. He says he’ll win the title at WrestleMania. Angle is lucky that he beat The Undertaker, but luck won’t help him at WrestleMania. Funny, since Taker beat Orton two months ago. Orton says his family built the business, and he’ll prove that he’s the greatest wrestler of his generation. He says he’s better than Angle, Taker, Rey, and Eddie, until Chavo runs in and attacks. Chavo beats the crap out of Orton, hitting the Three Amigos and nailing the Frog Splash. Security flocks to Chavo, but his point is made.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: MNM © versus Matt Hardy and Tatanka

For the record- Tatanka did nothing for me in 1993, and I was a lot easier to impress when I was nine. Hardy and Mercury start out, with Hardy getting a headlock. Mercury pushes him off, but Hardy comes back with a shoulder for two. Another headlock, but Mercury gets out and tags Nitro. Hardy gets a backslide for two, then rams Nitro to the corner and tags Tatanka. They yank Nitro out of the corner (and he spins ALL THE WAY over). Tatanka kicks Nitro up so that he’s crotched on the top rope. Tatanka beals Nitro off the top rope. Nitro gets a whip, and Mercury pulls the top rope down. MNM get a double suplex outside the ring. Nitro gets two inside. Tag to Mercury, who comes in with a kneedrop for two. Mercury tags Nitro, who gets a running knee on Tatanka. Tatanka fights back with punches, but gets taken back down. Double legdrop by the champs. Tatanka goes back to punches and chops, then gets a rollup. Nick Patrick is distracted, so no dice. Tag out to Mercury, and MNM kicks away. MNM tag back and forth, working on Tatanka in the corner. Tatanka fights back with a double clothesline. Tag to Hardy, who takes care of both guys with bulldogs and clothesline. Side Effect by Hardy gets two. Nitro nails a stiff kick and Mercury gets a Northern Lights Suplex, but Hardy kicks out. They signal for the Snapshot, but Tatanka breaks. Hardy gets a long two off of a sunset flip. Elevated double neckbreaker gets two for Hardy. Nitro dodges a Tatanka charge as Hardy goes for a Twist of Fate. Melina grabs his leg, and that lets Mercury get a rollup for two.

Winners: MNM
Match Time: 7:23
Rating: ***
Commentary: Better than I thought it would be. Still, crappy ending and a really poor spot for Hardy.

Backstage, Regal reads Burchill a letter from a fan who’s embarrassed for him as a result of his former partner’s piracy. Burchill responds by handing Regal a bomb and lighting it. Luckily, it doesn’t go off.

The Hall of Fame clip packages for Bret Hart and Eddie Guerrero are shown.

Booker T and Sharmell head out to do commentary for the next match…

The Boogeyman versus The Dicks

Booker refers to Teddy Long as “butt-dancing” before the match starts. Odd words from an odd man. The Dicks try to strike and run, but Boogeyman manages to deal with both of them. He clotheslines one out of the ring, knocks him off the apron as he returns, and hits the other with a choke bomb for the win. Post-match, Boogey spits worms in his mouth and heads out to Booker and Sharmell, who leave through the crowd. He then dumps a bag of worms on the announcers’ table.

Winner: The Boogeyman
Match Time: 1:43
Rating: ½*
Commentary: The Dicks are out.

Rey Mysterio heads out to address the crowd. He starts off by saying that he’s glad Eddie is going into the Hall of Fame. Rey goes on to talk about the Royal Rumble and No Way Out, and says that he’s let everyone down. He apologizes. Teddy Long heads out. He shows a clip of Orton’s cheating victory. Long says that he can’t reverse the decision, but he can add to the match. He makes the match at WrestleMania- the World Heavyweight Champion versus Randy Orton versus Rey Mysterio in a Triple Threat Match.

Krystal heads out to shill the new Divas magazine, then starts to take off her clothes. Jillian Hall interrupts and says that the people want to see JBL. Krystal slaps Jillian and pulls her top off. Jillian runs backstage. Krystal then fulfills her promise to take off her robe.

Clips of Batista’s return at No Way Out are shown. Can’t wait till the big man gets back.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match: Gregory Helms © versus Psychosis

Lockup to start, and Helms gets an armdrag. He grabs a headlock, but Psychosis rolls him off. Helms pie-faces Psychosis, then gets shoved down. Helms beats on Psychosis in the corner, nailing kicks and punches. Psychosis comes back with a big chop, then a back elbow. He follows up with a headscissors, then a clothesline for one. Rollup gets two. Psychosis goes for another headscissors, but Helms throws him over the ropes. He follows and beats on Psychosis against the rail of pain. The assault continues over the apron. Helms hits a straightjacket hold into a back slam for two. He hits a suplex, then gets a nice legdrop off the ropes. He follows up with low dropkick and a headlock. Psychosis gets a hurricanrana for two. Helms hits a clothesline, then applies a modified VELOCITY LOCK! He turns it into a chinlock. Psychosis gets up, wriggles out of Helms’s grasp, and hits a spinning heel kick for two. Helms ducks a spin kick, then hits an F5 into a facebuster for two. He backdrops Psychosis to the apron, but Psychosis climbs to the top. Helms heads him off, but Psychosis knocks him down. Helms grabs the referee, then crotches Psychosis on the ropes. He falls off, and Helms pins him with his feet on the ropes.

Winner: Gregory Helms
Match Time: 5:25
Rating: ***
Commentary: Helms looked great during the portion of the match which he dominated. Seriously, his brawling was convincing, he had a really bitter air about everything he did… this one performance pretty much blows away almost all of his work as the Hurricane.

Highlights from Kurt Angle-Undertaker from No Way Out are shown. Teddy Long heads out afterwards and makes a rematch for next week.

Orton’s music hits for the main event, but he’s backstage arguing with Teddy Long.

Randy Orton, JBL, and Finlay versus Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Bobby Lashley

Rey and Orton start out. Rey ducks a clothesline and hits several kicks. He tries for the bulldog bodyscissors, but Orton hits a punch. Rey gets a headscissors, and Orton rolls outside. Rey drops him across the rope, and Orton tags Finlay. Rey makes the tag to Lashley. Finlay hits a knee, then a European uppercut. He kicks away at Lashley, then rolls him onto his back for a one count. Lashley reverses a whip, then backdrops Finlay. He knocks JBL and Orton off the apron, then spears Finlay for two. Everybody runs in the ring as we go to a commercial. When we return, Chris Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on JBL. JBL manages to grab the bottom rope, so Benoit releases the hold and nails an elbow drop. He tags Lashley, who comes in with kicks and punches on JBL. Lashley gets an overhead belly to belly suplex, then a backdrop. He spears JBL for two. JBL gets an eye poke and tags Orton. Lashley gets a wristlock and tags Rey, who comes in with a springboard double axe handle. Orton fights back with a punch, then tags Finlay. Finlay gets a slam and a butt drop, then applies a chinlock. Finlay tags JBL, who comes in with punches on Rey. JBL hits a running boot, then a headbutt. Rey ducks a big boot and hits a headscissors. Finlay nails Rey from behind. Rey jumps over the ropes at him, but Finlay pulls the ring skirt out and crotches Rey on it. He slams Rey on the apron, but Benoit makes the save. Back inside, JBL covers Rey for two. JBL hits forearms to Rey’s back, then slaps on a bearhug. Rey fights out, but JBL knocks him down. Benoit saves at two, and Finlay comes in. The referee doesn’t allow the switch, so JBL tags Orton. Orton stomps on Rey, then gets the awkward jumping kneedrop. Orton applies a chinlock, but Rey gets to the rope. Orton whips Rey across the ring, but Rey boots a charge. He springs out over Orton, then sends him to the ring post with a headscissors. JBL and Benoit get tagged in, and Benoit hits chops on all comers. He nails Bradshaw with a running forearm, then backdrops Finlay. Each opponent takes a German Suplex, and Benoit goes up top. He nails JBL with the Diving Headbutt, but Finlay saves at two. Lashley enters and takes Finlay to the outside. Rey and Orton fight to the outside as well. Benoit tries for the Crippler Crossface on JBL, but Finlay makes the save. Finlay takes another German Suplex. Benoit goes out of the ring after JBL, then kicks the ring steps into his hand twice. JBL crawls to 619 position. Benoit tags Rey, who hits the move, then gets a springboard splash for the win.

Winners: Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Bobby Lashley
Match Time: 15:54 (including commercial)
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: Good brawl of a main event. JBL actually got injured on the hand thing, which is a shame. Hopefully, he’ll be back before too long.

A little light on the ring action, but things seemed well booked this week. Catch you for Velocity.