411’s WWE Smackdown Report 05.01.09

Welcome to 411’s Weekly Smackdown! Report. I am JP Truss aka JP II your play-by-play man for Smackdown!

J.R. and Todd ‘The Grish Man’ Grisham give us the run down for tonight’s action!

Chris Jericho Arrives

A variant of the original Jericho pyro hits and the man himself follows. Finally, JERICHO is in the Smackdown Ring! He grabs the mic and points out while some things have changed, the fans were still hypocritical, petulant tapeworms and they are ignorant of the true talent of Chris Jericho! He will not introduce himself because A: it was beneath him and B: they already knew that he was the biggest superstar to ever be drafted to Smackdown! And he has a mission statement for the roster and the audience; forget everything you’ve seen and heard because now he is taking over! Smackdown is his show and there is nothing anyone can do about it. He is the Superstar of the Year 2008 and it is a travesty he has to compete in a Fatal 4 Way to become #1 Contender but he will compete anyway and win, go to Judgment Day and become the new World Heavyweight Champion and that’s just the way it’s going to be.

Cue the Metalingus and here comes the new Heavyweight Champion: Edge! Surely he has something to say about the coming of The Jericho. Edge seizes a microphone of his own and calls Jericho rude for not introducing himself: so Edge does it for him. “Ladies and Gentlemen: Chris Jericho! Superstar of the Year! Tormentor of Senior Citizens the world over and former…former World Heavyweight Champion!” Nice. Edge points out that John Cena defeated Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship and that he has yet to beat John Cena: but he did it in a Last Man Standing match last Sunday. I’m not sure if the record reflects that specifically, but we’re going with it. Anyway, Edge informs him that his ‘angry man in a suit’ routine won’t work on Smackdown because it is his show! Everyone in the locker room and in the stands wants to be him. Edge says that there is no better feeling than walking into the world’s greatest arena, the Air Canada Center in Toronto, and knowing that you are better than everyone else.

A Cena chants starts up as Edge tells Jericho he can scrap his speeches with all of his ‘vocabulary words’ because Smackdown isn’t his to take. Jericho is seething but barely gets out a rebuttal before CM Punk makes an appearance. CM Punk then introduces himself and Edge can call him Mr. Money in the Bank. Punk then shows a clip from last June when CM Punk cashed in the briefcase to defeat Edge for the World Title. When we cut back to the ring both Jericho and Edge don’t look too happy with Punk. Punk prepares to inform Edge about something later tonight; however Jericho interrupts and tells him that no one cares. Jericho tells him that he is the best in the world at what he does and you don’t interrupt him. Jericho allowed Edge to do it because he’s the champion but CM Punk will not be afforded the same forgiveness. So it is in his best interest to turn and leave now. “Do I make myself clear, Punk?”

Punk brushes Jericho off however Jericho will not be denied. He informs Punk that he can continue disrespecting him and the fans can as well because he is done with them. Jericho leaves in a huff, which Punk declares to be very awkward. Punk again tries to make a declaration but Edge butts in and decides if Jericho doesn’t want to listen neither should he. Before Edge can leave Punk cuts him off and tells him he really wants to stay and hear him out. Punk points out that Vickie Guerrero is no longer in charge of Smackdown, which means Edge no longer has anyone in the front office to pull strings on his behalf and according to Smackdown’s new GM Theodore R. Long, Edge will be competing tonight against CM Punk. Edge doesn’t seemed fazed by the news and declares it a warm up match for Judgment Day, although I get the feeling Punk is not done.

Punk tells Edge that he disappoints him since Edge has been Mr. MITB before. So he should know that Punk could cash in his briefcase for a Championship match at any time he wants. Which brings him to his original point! Punk tells Edge that he will face him in a non-title match and hit the GTS. Once Punk wins that match and with Edge unconscious Punk will cash in the briefcase and pin him to become the new World Heavyweight Champion! Punk cashes it in tonight! WHAT?!

Interesting starting promo involving three individuals who will probably shape the Smackdown main event for the next few months. CM Punk and Jericho seem to fit in with very little problem and we’ll see how they take to the ring later tonight.

We come back after commercials and JR and The Grish Man are going through some of Smackdown’s draft picks as John Morrison makes his way to the ring.

John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin

The crowd loves the slo-mo, but then again who doesn’t? JR declares Morrison a future megastar and, as usual, I must concur with that opinion. Now, considering who’s involved I would love for this to go 30 or 40 minutes just to see what happens, but I’ll be glad if it goes over 5.

The bell rings and Benjamin takes control immediately with a clubbing blow to Morrison. Benjamin hurls Morrison out of the ring and Morrison doesn’t seem too happy about that. Morrison slides back into the ring and takes Benjamin down with a double leg sweep. A few mounted punches before both men are back to their feet and Morrison takes down Benjamin with a back flip dropkick! Well done young sir. Morrison goes for the pin but Benjamin breaks out at 1. Morrison pulls up Benjamin and goes for the Irish Whip but Benjamin reverses it. Benjamin goes for the Spinning Heel Kick but Morrison ducks under it. Morrison charges right into a big boot from Benjamin! Big impact from that kick and Benjamin takes control. Benjamin stomps Morrison and pulls him up for a Short-Arm Clothesline. We get a replay of the boot as Benjamin pulls Morrison into the center of the ring and hooks in a side headlock. Morrison struggles and gets to his feet, eventually fighting out with blows to the midsection. Benjamin quickly takes back control and whips Morrison to the corner. Morrison goes for a boot but is caught. Benjamin tosses the foot aside and goes for a punch but Morrison beats him to it. Morrison goes for an Irish Whip but is countered by Benjamin, but Morrison counters with a running calf kick! Big running kick to the skull of Benjamin and Morrison goes for the pin but gets a two count.

Morrison stalks Benjamin and goes for a punch but Benjamin reverses it into an inverted backbreaker. Benjamin is back in control and sends Morrison to the corner but Morrison reverses into an Irish Whip. Benjamin springboards over him but Morrison answers back with a Roundhouse Kick from the second rope! Moonlight Drive from Morrison ends this one.

Winner:John Morrison (Pinfall via Moonlight Drive) ** There certainly wasn’t anything wrong with this match, however at the end I felt like it was merely an appetizer. Here’s hoping for more in the future.

We still got the Fatal Four Way and a possible World Championship Match coming up!

Did You Know? Okay, here’s the thing DYK…if any male under the age of 34 is looking at Oprah.com for something other than a Mother’s Day gift idea, then there’s a big chance they’re not going to be swayed by your product. I’m just saying.

We get a great shot of the Empire State Building as well as the outside of the Garden. We then get a package of MVP and his connection to the View. Now, some would mock this particular cross over but personally I think it’s a brilliant move. Men and Youth will always been the dominate audience of the WWE, however there has always been a faction of women who also enjoy the program but have never been marketed to by the WWE. I very much doubt you’ll ever see John Cena or Edge on Oprah or anything like that, but this is a smart business move that should have been done ages ago.

Jericho and Long Talk

Jericho is bitching to Long about being interrupted and having to compete in the Fatal 4 Way. Long tries to shut him up but it is the arrival of the Great Khali and his associate Ranjin Singh. (Runjin is the proper spelling but we’ll go with Ranjin for your sticklers). Khali says something in Punjabi and Jericho interprets that as Khali saying that he respects him. However, Ranjin says that Khali actually says that Jericho needs to stop whining and get over himself. Jericho takes this under advisement and leaves.

Fatal Four Way Elimination Match
Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

We get a graphic explaining the rules of the match, which is something a certain Vince Russo should try out next time he gets a good idea. Rey makes his entrance first and gets into the ring before we cut to commercials!

We come back and Jeff Hardy makes his entrance. During the commercial break Kane had his entrance; either that or he just appeared out of thin air. Knowing Kane I’m going with the latter.

All three men eye Jericho as the bell rings. The attention shifts to Kane as Rey and Jeff are both quickly taken down by the Machine. Jericho gets an uppercut for his trouble. Kane tosses Jeff out of the ring and catches Jericho with a clothesline. Kane is in firm control!

Kane whips Jericho across the ropes and connects with a big boot, taking Rey down with a clothesline as he got to his feet. Another boot to the head keeps Jericho down, Kane then turns to Rey and hits the sidewalk slam! Kane gets two count and meets Jericho with a big right as he gets to his feet. Kane sends Jericho face first into the top turnbuckle and whips him into the opposite corner, crushing him with a clothesline. Kane tosses Jericho out of the ring with Jeff and grabs Rey. Kane hauls Rey up for a Military Press and hurls him over the top onto Jericho and Hardy! Can Kane become #1 Contender? We’ll find out after the commercial break!

We’re back after the commercial break and Kane is on the top rope. Kane goes for his signature Flying Clothesline and Jeff counters with a dropkick. Both men are down! Rey steps up to the apron and springboards off the top rope, hitting a leg drop on Kane. Rey goes for the pin and gets a two count. Jericho crawls in under the bottom rope and Rey grabs him. Rey goes for the Irish Whip but Jericho reverses it into a Twilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker! Jericho goes for the pin and gets a two count! Jericho goes for the pin and gets a two count. Jeff comes from behind and attacks Jericho, catching him with a headlock slam. Jeff goes for a pin and he gets a two count!

Jeff pulls up Jericho and goes for a Frakensteiner but Jericho counters with the Walls of Jericho, but Kane is back in! Kane goes for the Chokeslam but Jericho counters again with the Walls of Jericho, but Kane fights out of it. Kane grabs Jeff and Jericho, going for a double chokeslam but sees Rey springboard off the top rope. Kane shoves the others aside and grabs Rey for a Chokeslam but Rey counters with a headscissors into the middle rope! Rey’s thinking 619 but Jericho catches him and pulls him to the outside! Jeff Hardy is back in the ring and takes Kane down with Whisper in the Wind! The crowd is going crazy! Swanton Bomb on Kane! Jeff goes for the pin but again Jericho pulls him out of the ring! Jericho slides in and goes for the pin and gets the three! Jericho eliminates Kane!

Jericho seems pleased with himself although Kane doesn’t seem too happy. Kane takes down Jericho with an uppercut before going to the outside. Kane hurls Jeff into the crowd barricade and takes Rey down with a big right. Kane starts tossing chairs into the ring and leaves, completely irate as Rey steps back into the ring. Rey dropkicks Jericho into the middle rope: 619 on Jericho! Rey springboards off the top right into a chair shot from Chris Jericho! Lil’ Naitch calls for the bell and rightly so since it was blatantly in front of the referee. Jericho cannot believe this is happening and argues with the referee as we go to a commercial break.

We’re back and Jeff and Rey are in the ring. The crowd either doesn’t know who to cheer for or they’re cheering for both too loudly. Either way, it’s too confusing to listen to. Jeff and Rey measure each other up before Jeff attacks with a kick to the stomach and goes for the Irish Whip but Rey reverses it. Big dropkick from Rey and he goes for the pin, getting a near fall. Rey Whips Jeff into the ropes and goes for a dropkick but Jeff hold on and lets Rey crashes. Jeff hits the double leg onto Rey’s torso and follows up with a low dropkick to the face. Jeff goes for the pin and gets a near fall.

Jeff lets Rey get to his feet in the corner and charges but Rey gets out of the way. Rey charges but Jeff gets his boots up. Jeff steps up to the middle rope and goes for a flying sunset flip but Rey rolls to his feet and kicks Hardy squarely on the head. Rey goes for the pin and again gets a two count! Rey is confounded on how to take down Hardy but is quickly back on his feet. Running leg drop on Hardy but again a near fall. Jeff Hardy is back to his feet and Rey backs him to the ropes, Rey whips him across and Jeff goes for a clothesline but Rey ducks under it. Both men charge and go for a crossbody, straight into each other. Both men are down!

Jeff is back to his feet first and goes on the attack. Jeff whips Rey to the ropes but Rey hangs on. Jeff charges and Rey gets his boot up. Rey goes for a springboard moon sault but Jeff catches him! Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate but Rey counters with a sunset flip! NO! Jeff counters with a Sunset Flip of his own! What a counter to a counter! Near fall for Jeff Hardy!

Jeff Hardy sets up Rey for a back suplex but Rey lands on his feet. Jeff counters with a reverse mule kick that sends Rey to the corner. Hardy goes for the dropkick into the corner but Rey moves out of the way. Rey gets to his feet and goes for a Wheelbarrow on Hardy, Rey switches it into a roll up and gets a near fall but Jeff counters with a roll up of his own. Near fall! Jeff shoves Rey into the ropes but Rey reverses it into a headscissors takedown into the middle rope! 619 on Hardy! This could be it! Rey springboards off the top and hit the springboard senton! He’s got him! NO! Jeff counters with a roll up! Jeff gets the three count! BY GAWD!

Winner:Jeff Hardy (Pinfall via Sunset Flip counter) ***1/4 Alright before anyone says anything here’s the thing. It was already a decent Fatal Four Way match before it was cut down to Jeff and Rey. Once Jeff and Rey were alone in the ring, this thing got kicked into overdrive. Considering the individuals involved it could’ve easily become a spot fest but they opted for a very, very, very fast-paced match that favor both of their strengths. Simply put, Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio brought it tonight and put on a really entertaining and well executed match within a match. Here’s hoping that they get a one-on-one opportunity down the road.

Jeff and Rey shake hands and show each other respect after the match. And we still have Punk vs. Edge later tonight!

Where is Teddy Long?

Maria is in the back waiting for Long when Jericho barges in asking for the GM. Maria says she doesn’t know and Jericho explodes, calling Long incompetent until Edge comes in. Edge and Jericho stare down and Jericho leaves, bringing Edge to his question: “Where is Teddy Long?!” Maria doesn’t know and now it’s Edge’s turn to complain. Edge points out he was just in a Last Man Standing match and he could get hurt or Punk could cash in his MITB briefcase. Maria doesn’t seem to be too concerned, prompting Edge to make a call to his wife.

Back to the Grish Man and JR who go over the other Smackdown draft picks. Hey? When did Cryme Tyme get drafted?

Cryme Tyme…Dance Tyme?

Alright Smackdown fans; you may now start acting like idiots trying to dance to the Cryme Tyme entrance music. Why does everyone who can’t dance try to whenever a camera is on them?

JTG has the mic and I’m guessing he has something deep and poignant to say. ‘YOYOYOYOYOYOYO YO! YO! YO! YO!’

…Like I said. Deep and poignant.

JTG and Shad point out that they’re in their home town for their first official Smackdown match. JTG wants to know who wants the see them dance and personally I don’t, well until Shad brings out Layla. Nice outfit. Then Shad brings out Eve Torres…nice outfit. Okay at this point I’m going to assume there’s about to be some sort of dance off. And, yup; dance off. I’d love to tell you who won but, really, I don’t care. Both look good doing it and apparently the fans like Eve better. Something happens in between and Layla attacks Eve. CATFIGHT! Cryme Tyme pulls the ladies apart, eventually and Layla leaves. Well, with the exception of using Cryme Tyme to start a feud between Layla and Eve (possibly) that was completely pointless.
Sherry Sheppard is in the back with MVP and it looks like she looted Ric Flair’s robe locker. Sherry is excited about tonight and invites MVP to the View. Again, this is the whole female promotion thing I was talking about earlier. Although oddly enough it happens after a catfight that I’m sure didn’t attract too many female consumers. Well that’s just how the dice rolls sometime. MVP and Sherry pump each other up and head to the ring.

We get a promo of Orton vs. Shane McMahon for this upcoming Raw before the commercial break.

United States Championship
Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP w/Sherry Sheppard

For some reason Dolph Ziggler’s music reminds me of Kendrick’s from his Spanky days. I wonder if there’s a connection there.

Well tonight is a big night for Dolph Ziggler. Either he’ll prove me and other critics wrong and show that he belongs on the mid card at the very least or he’ll blow it and we’ll be making fun of him for the next month. Dolph grabs the mic, introduces himself and says he’ll be proud to win the US Championship right here in New Jersey!

….HUH?!

MVP and Sherry come out and it’s time to get this one on the road! A quick bad pun from the Grish Man and the bell rings! We start it off with a collar elbow tie-up and MVP shoves Dolph to the mat. Dolph is up and attacks with kicks to the midsection. Dolph goes for the Irish Whip but MVP ducks under him, which leads to a leapfrog and a hip toss to Ziggler from MVP! MVP follows up with an arm drag and another arm drag to Ziggler. Ziggler stays on the mat and MVP tries to pull him up but Dolph tosses him to the outside. Sherry checks on MVP as Dolph goes on the attack. Sherry provides a decent distraction and Dolph tries his trademark introduction but MVP is ready to attack. Dolph gets out of the way and MVP stops before he strikes Sherry and stops her from falling over. That could’ve been disastrous if he didn’t catch her…I’m sure. Dolph tries to attack but MVP stops him with a back elbow. MVP tells her to stay out of the way and rolls Dolph back into the ring. MVP slides in and Dolph catches him with a low dropkick.

Dolph locks in a side headlock and Sherry starts a ‘MVP’ chant. The crowd actually catches on. I can’t believe this! MVP is willed to his feet and hits Dolph with an Electric Chair Drop. MVP whips Dolph into the ropes and hits the Overhead Throw. Ziggler rolls to his feet and slows MVP’s momentum with a low dropkick to the knee. Ziggler ramps up the offense and begins attacking him on the ground. The ref tries to pull him off and Sherry gets on the ring apron. Her distraction gets Dolph to break his attack and instead demand a kiss from her. Sherry answers back with a big slap and MVP takes control. Huge Asiatic Thrust and a Facebreaker takes down Ziggler! Wait for it…Wait for it…
~BALLIN~

Big elbow drop from MVP and he goes for the pin; getting a near fall. MVP goes for an Irish Whip but Ziggler reverses it. MVP leapfrogs over Ziggler and swats away an attempted dropkick. Playmaker by MVP introduces Dolph Ziggler to the mat! MVP gets the pin and the victory!

Winner and Still US Champion:MVP (Pinfall via Sunset Flip counter) **1/2 Okay folks the Dolph Ziggler jokes will end at least for the short term. Excellent work by Dolph in his first big match on Smackdown. Having Sherry Sheppard at ringside didn’t hurt the match’s quality; in fact it helped keep things interesting at certain points. Overall it was a decent championship match that didn’t hurt either man and was a big win-win for the WWE’s public image.

MVP and Sherry celebrate with the US Championship as we get clips of CM Punk’s World Title victory over Edge. That match is NEXT!

Did You Know? Okay, the fact that worldwide WWE is seen on more homes than other American sports broadcasts is a decent accomplishment. IT beats WWE.com beating Oprah.com in the battle for Males under 34. Again, I have no idea what young male would be doing on Oprah.com but something in my craw tells me I don’t want to know.

Jericho and Long Talk PART DEUX

Once again Jericho is bitching and it’s pretty pointless until Jericho declares he should quit. John Morrison appears and calls Jericho a quitter, which would be somewhat apt considering his statement. However, Jericho is offended and slaps Morrison. The two brawl and eventually are pulled apart by security as CM Punk walks serenely through the situation.

Okay so let me see if I got this straight. We get a glimpse of Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison down the road and a tease of a Jericho-Morrison feud? Thank you Vince. Thank you.

Edge vs. CM Punk

If Punk wins the World Heavyweight Championship tonight they are going to blow the roof off Madison Square Garden. Often looking back in the comment section of theses recaps and I see readers point out the crowd reactions and they have a point. Without a doubt tonight’s crowd has helped pushed the ‘new era’ of Smackdown off to a good start tonight.

Both men have their entrances and it looks like Punk and Edge’s tights have Hart Foundation influences. I could be wrong on that one so don’t quote me. The bell rings and Punk looks for GTS early on but Edge blocks by holding on to the top rope. Punk drops Edge to his feet and backs Edge to the corner with kicks to the midsection. Punk whips Edge to the opposite corner and charges, breaking fast enough to catch Edge’s boots. Punk spins Edge onto the middle rope and dropkicks him in the back. Punk goes for the lateral press and gets a quick count. Punk whips Edge to the ropes and follows up with a knee to the gut. Another attempted pin and quick count. Punk locks in a 3/4s Facelock on Edge, who fights out of it but Punk takes Edge down with a stiff kick. Punk goes to the top and Edge stops him, meeting him halfway. Punk drops Edge throat first off the top rope and again ascends to the top. Edge is back to his feet however and drops Punk onto the top turnbuckle. Big running shoulder block to Punk’s lower back drops him to the mat.

Edge is now in control and goes on the attack with shots to the back of CM Punk. Punk tries to fight back and goes for a vertical suplex, but cannot execute it. Edge drops Punk on the top rope and nails a big boot which sends Punk to the mat. Commercial Break!

We’re back after the commercials and Punk and Edge are slugging it out in the ring. Edge, however takes control with a knee to the gut of CM Punk. Edge goes on the attack again, targeting Punk’s back. Edge uses the middle rope to choke Punk and goes for a running splash but Punk moves out of the way. Edge bounces off the ropes and crashes hard. That look like it broke something. Edge and Punk get back to their feet and Punk goes for a clothesline but Edge counters with a roll up. Near fall for the Champion. Punk is back on his feet and nails Edge with a leaping thrust kick, giving Punk the momentum.

Punk goes on the attack with multiple kicks to the head and goes for the GTS but Edge slides out of it. Edge goes for a roll up but Punk counters with a roll up of his own. Near fall for Punk! Punk misses a shot and Edge answers with a Half-Nelson Bulldog! Edge goes for a pin and gets a two count! Edge backs up to the corner and measures Punk as he gets to his feet. Edge goes for the Spear but Punk blocks him with a big knee! Edge stumbles back to the corner and Punk capitalizes with a running knee lift! Huge bulldog by Punk and he goes for the pin! Two count for Punk!

Punk goes to the apron and goes for the Springboard Clothesline but Edge ducks out of the way. Edge goes for the Spear but Punk counters with a powerslam! Punk goes for a pin and gets another near fall! Punk calls for the GTS and goes for it but Edge blocks it! Sharpshooter! Sharpshooter by Edge in the center of the ring! Punk slowly but surely crawls to the bottom rope and finally grabs hold of it. Both men appear battered after that one. Punk crawls to the ring apron and Edge tries to bring him in the hard way but Punk lands on his feet! GO! TO! SLEEP! Punk hits the GTS and gets the three!

Winner:CM Punk (Pinfall via GTS) ***

Edge is out of it! Punk reaches for the briefcase and tells the referee what he wants to do. The referee tells Justin Roberts that Punk is ready to cash it in and the crowd is ready for it! WAIT! UMAGA! Where in the hell did Umaga come from?! A Huge Side Kick takes down Punk followed by the Black Hole Slam! Well forget that idea. No World Championship match for you Punk. Grisham notes that the match never started so Punk still has possession of his World Championship contract. Edge is back to his feet seizes the briefcase, clearly with ill intent. But Jeff Hardy! Jeff Hardy is in the ring now! Twist of Fate on Edge! Swanton Bomb! Jeff is standing tall in the ring over the fallen World Champion as Smackdown closes.

Final Thoughts: Okay let’s recap all of the potential feuds that have been teased tonight. Punk-Edge, Edge-Jeff, Edge-Jericho, Jeff-Rey, Morrison-Benjamin, and Jericho-Morrison. I’m not counting anything between Punk and Umaga just yet but here the bottom line everyone, at least for this week. Bottom line here is that Smackdown now has unlimited potential and all of the elements to be the dominant face of the major wrestling brands. Save for a few moments of errant comedy, if Smackdown follows through on the formula started tonight, this could be the stepping stone for a banner year for the Blue Brand.

We’ll see you on Tuesday for Worst Wrestler of the Week! Bookmark 411 Mania.com if you haven’t! JP IS DONE SON!