411’s WWE Smackdown Report 06.24.04

WWE Smackdown Review by J. “Yayowonder” Hernandez
June 24, 2004
Taped from Orlando, FL and live from my living room.

My name is Yayowonder and I will be recapping WWE SD! tonight for your reading pleasure. Went to Raw this past Monday and it was great. The formatting of the column has changed slightly and I added more of my name. Big whoop to most of you I know. I thank all of you for your feedback both in the forum and via e-mail. Let me give you a sample from my e-mails:
From: Dean Farley
Subject: Yayowonder, try the vibrator that will knock your socks off
-or-
From: odnpe9cq errors
Subject: Im a hot as slut, and im online right now hehe, (pics in email)
-or-
Just kidding (although odnpe9c did have a hot as, just like she promised). Special thanks to Gags and Zander (from the forums) for my inspired changes.

Last week
Heyman shows his superior pet training skills as the big dog, the Undertaker does his bidding and tombstones Cena.

Cena
No pyros and no music. Cena is in the back with Charlie Haas and Jackie Gayda. Haas and Gayda tell him not to do it, its suicide. But this is something Cena has to do, and he makes his way to the ring. Cena chant starts and John appreciates the love from Orlando. All day he’s been getting told not to come out, and do what he’s about to do, because it’s suicide. He talks about the tombstone he took last week and the crowd boos. Cena respects Taker’s legacy as much as anyone else but he’s a man, and he doesn’t back down from no man. He needs Taker to come out and tell him what happened. Angle’s music hits. He’s rolled out and asks how is he doing. Cena: “Lumpy I’m having a bad day, what do you want?” Kurt feels bad for him and can’t help but notice how sad he is. But finally Angle has something to be ahppy about. Kurt was thinking about what Cena told him last week, about wanting to be like him, and Cena was right. That’s why Kurt wrote a rap for Cena. Cena: “Aw brother if it’s whack I will smack your eye crooked and make you leave town like Tracy McGrady.” Kurt went on to say he won a gold medal with a broken neck he thinks he can handle a little hip-hop.
“My name is Kurt Angle I try to be nice/
I’m an olypmic gold medalist not some weak vanilla ice.
Which is why I’m happy, I no longer have the blues/
Because come this Sunday John Cena, you’re going to lose.
I think it’s quite sad, really even tragic/
You’ll be a big loser than the Orlando Magic
Bye-Bye T-Mac.
You think you’re so slick, like a pool of grease/
But tonight John Cena, you’re going to rest… in… peace.”

Translation Angle has set-up a match between Taker and Cena. Angle then waves Cena goodbye and says “Word life.” Commercials.

10 Man Over the Top Rope Cruiserweight Battle Royal for the #1 Contendership to the Cruiserweight Title
I will not transcribe this entire match as I don’t think 411 has enough bandwidth for how much space it would take. I will give you highlights and such. Scotty 2 Hotty is making his way to the ring when we cut to the back and JBL comes in while Angle and Luther are talking. JBL says Kurt has been doing a great job as the GM of SD! Angle is also a shining example to wheel bound people across the world. He’s proud of how Angle handled that disrespectful Cena earlier and knows someone else that needs that. Angle thinks he knows who he’s talking about Eddie. JBL says he remembers how Eddie cheated to win at WMXX, and thinks he needs a match before this Sunday. Angle wishes he could do it himself but can’t. JBL wishes he could do it to but then gets an idea. The brainstorm leads to Luther being assigned the task of teaching Eddie some respect. We go back to the ring and Rey makes his way to do some announcing. Your contestants: Scotty 2 Hotty, Paul London, Funaki, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Nunzio, Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman, Jamie Noble, Akio, and Shannon Moore
We start off with brawling among the ten wrestlers. Spike and London throw Nunzio into the ropes. Nunzio stops himself and Spike tries to suplex London. London reverses and dropkicks Spike towards Nunzio. Nunzio backbody drops Spike out. Nunzio is thrown out by London next but the ref didn’t catch it and he’s back in. London places Nunzio on the top rope and does a springboard kick to knock him out. London is thrown out and is holding on to the top rope for dear life. Nunzio comes over and drops London to the mat. Next big spot is Shanoon whipping Akio into the corner. He runs in but gets thrown over landing on the apron. Akio then kicks the crap out of his head, dropping him to the apron. One foot touches the ground but he’s able to get back up and hit a hurricarana (from the outside to Akio who was inside) and eliminates himself and Akio. Chavo on Funaki Funaki on the apron trying to stay in gives Scotty the chance to go for the worm on Chavo. Noble comes in for the clothesline before Scotty connects and gets a kick to his piece for the trouble. Scotty then tries to hit Kidman but is dropkicked out. Funaki is knocked off the apron as Billy reversed a whip by Chavo. Kidman with the double takedown (leg scissors/head takeover) Noble with the german on Billy Kidman. Chavo and Noble double up on Kidman and attempt to throw him out several times. Kidman trying to get Jamie out, and Chavo comes over to try and dump them both. Jamie works his way back in, but Chavo is not successful and Kidman rolls back in. Kidman in the tree of woe. Noble encouraging Chavo to give Kidman a cross corner move. Chavo running in and Noble with the clothesline. Jamie tries to dump Chavo but Chavo skins the cat. Jamie is attacked by Billy and is put on the second rope standing in the corner. Jamie knocks Billy off but gets thrown out as Chavo comes in from off camera. Billy tries to knock Chavo out but Chavo gets back in. Chavo sets up Kidman and hits the Gory Bomb sending Kidman over the top rope!!! Commercials.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
Grade: B
Commentary: Good cruiserweight action, but nothing like it used to be. I miss the WCW cruisers as much as everyone else, but I can understand why the WWE thinks high-spots=injuries. Lot’s of action and once it got down to Kidman/Noble/Guerrero we saw the true stars of the division. Also London got a lot of his unique offense in, really differentiating himself from the other cruisers.

Cement truck
We’re back and in the arena and see the cement truck in the same place as last week. Now we’re in the back and Heyman is on the phone talking to the contractor about the crypt. Telling the contractor he doesn’t want a safety latch. He tells him he wants it to look just like the blueprint in his hands. The Dudz come in and ask Paul what’s going to happen with Taker. They want to know what the right thing is. Heyman tells them to trust him. As Bubba says “How many times have I heard that before?” Mordecai walks into this backstage vignette beating the living hell out of Hardcore Holly. As they hit the alley to the crowd Holly gets some offense in. Officials try to separate them and the battle rages on into the backstage area they just walked out of. Luther breaks it up and Mordecai lets Holly know he will crucify him. They walk off as Angle says he doesn’t want to see this again. Angle then asks Paul who is still in the back, if Taker is ready for tonight. Heyman assures Kurt that Taker will take out Cena. Commercials.

Kenzo Suzuki v. Billy Gunn
Hometown boy Gunn gets a big pop from the crowd as we’re back. Kenzo’s geisha girl finally gets a name for T.V.: Hiroki. Lock-up and Kenzo is powered into the corner. Billy breaks. They lock-up again and this time it’s Billy in the corner. Knee and then a chop by Kenzo. Chop by Kenzo. Whip reversed by Billy leads to a back elbow on Kenzo. Billy picks him up and knocks his head into the top turnbuckle. Kicks by Billy in the corner. Billy with the whip and it’s reversed. He runs out and Kenzo misses the chop. Billy turns around and runs right into the double chop to the throat. Knee drop by Kenzo. Flying knee drop by Kenzo. Pin only gets two. Guillotine hold on Billy in the center of the ring. Billy up and with elbows to break out. Kenzo tries the kick and Billy catches it. Fist by Billy puts them both down. They’re both up and a punch by Billy, chops by Kenzo. Suzuki misses the last one and Billy lays him out with another punch. Billy from the corner hits Kenzo with an running elbow. Gunn whips Kenzo to the corner and hits the stinger splash. Fameasser by Billy. Pin attempt and Hiroki gives Billy an eyeful of the ceremonial dust. DQ called by the ref as Suzuki gives the Vulcan throat hold and then hits his judo toss.

Winner: Billy Gunn via DQ
Grade: C
Commentary: This was your average affair. Nothing really made it stand out. Again it comes to mind that besides prancing around a lot and using a lot of variations of the chop, Kenzo hasn’t done much to differentiate himself. Also can they please name his finisher. I need a name! Billy’s alright but nothing above average either.

Sable and Torrie
Bad acting. Sable claims Torrie is hogging the spotlight. And her outfit makes her look fat. Torrie comes back saying at least her outfit doesn’t make her look easy. Catfight. Commericals.

Guerrero v. JBL retrospective
We start at Judgement Day, then the announcement of the Texas Bullrope match. We then go through the limo ride from hell.

Eddie Geurrero v. Luther Reigns, Non-Title Match
Eddie comes out and we get commercials. I think his car stalled.

Joined match intro in progress
Luther wheels Kurt to ringside. Kurt’s talking trash from ringside and takes off the jacket. He means business. Lock-up and Eddie is put in the corner. Break and another lock-up in the center of the ring. Luther to the corner and he shoves Eddie. Eddie with punches. Eddie sent to the opposite corner off a whip reversal. Luther presses Eddie above his head and drops him. Luther asking for the test of strength. Eddie toys with Luther and then pokes him in the eye. Punches by Eddie. Eddie headlocks Luther and is sent into the ropes and is knocked down by the shoulder block on the way back. Eddie tries off the ropes again but this time he gets the shoulderblock and knocks down Luther. Eddie into the ropes again and Kurt trips him up. Luther with a punch and follows up clubbing Eddie on the back. Eddie whipped into the corner. Luther with a kick and then the butterfly suplex. Bear-hug by Luther. Eddie floats out and tries for the sunset flip pin and only gets two. Luther with the clothesline and a pin attempt gets two. Luther with a reverse bearhug. Jawbreaker by Eddie. Eddie with punches as Luther misses his hooks. Eddie sends Luther to the ropes and knocks him down with the elbow. Luther up and gets hit with two of the three amigos. Knee by Luther gets him out before he met the third amigo (who I think was Chevy Chase). Luther with a suplex attempt but Eddie floats over and pushes Luther towards the ropes. On the way Luther bumps the ref. Luther with the clothesline. Variation of the neckbreaker (Reigns finisher that also has no name) by Luther. Kurt hobbles into the ring to count, but Luther only gets a two. Luther is told by Kurt and goes out to get Eddie’s belt. Eddie gets up and kicks him in the jewels. He then gets the belt and knocks Luther out. He backs Kurt into a corner but notices the ref getting up. He tosses Kurt the belt and lays next to Luther feigning being knocked out. The ref sees Angle with the belt and tells him to get out. Eddie still pretending to have been hit with the belt, makes his way up the rope and hits the Frog SPLASH!!! 1-JBL attacks Eddie with the cowbell from the bullrope. He ties the rope around Eddie’s neck and tosses him over the top rope. JBL starts to pull Eddie up, but Eddie pulls JBL’s throat across the top rop as he goes down to get out. Eddie in and knocks JBL out. Video of Taker walking in the back. Commercials.

Winner: Eddie Geurrero
Grade: B
Commentary: Good match with Luther keeping up really well. Eddie with all of his usual awesomeness never hurts. Really the only thing that could have brought the grade up was a faster pace, because the action this match did have was great.

RVD v. Renee Dupree
We start with video of the ending of the Eddie/Luther match. After the contestants make their way to the ring Booker T’s music hits. Booker has come down to do commentary. Lock-up and RVD with the headlock. Dupree with leg scissors on RVD on the mat. RVD out and with another headlock. Dupree powers out and hits him with a knee. Dupree gives himself the RVD thumbs. He then tries to shove his RVD’s head into the turnbuckle but RVD gives him a quick kick. RVD with punches and whip Renee into the ropes. This is reversed and RVD rolls off of Renee’s back as he went for the back body drop. Dupree runs into attack but is thrown out by RVD. Dupree climbs the apron, but RVD dropkicks his ankles causing him to hit his head. Dupree then does a Flair flop on the outside. RVD puts Dupree on the barrier outside and gives him the legdrop off the apron. RVD throws Renee back into the ring. Pin attempt only gets two. Dupree with a headlock and is pushed into the ropes. RVD does the split and gets dropkicked in the head. Spinning neckbreaker by and only gets two off the pin. Dupree with the backbreaker. Pin gets two. Headlock on RVD on the mat. RVD off the ropes and tries a roll-up that only gets two. RVD then catches a Dupree kick and does his spinning kick. RVD with punches and kicks Dupree to the mat. Rolling Thunder and a pin only gets two. Renee pokes RVD in the eye. Dupree with the leg clip on RVD. Booker T: “I have a joke Knock. Knock.” Tazz:”Who is it?” Booker T: “Rob Van Dam” Tazz:”Rob Van Dam who?” Booker T:”Rob Van Dam doesn’t have a chance of beating Booker T Sunday night.” The way Book and Tazz sold the hilarity of joke was funny as hell. Dupree exposes the top turnbuckle. Dupree tries to throw him there and RVD gets the small package but only gets two as the ref was trying to fix the buckle. Renee with his own roll-up (with tights), but only gets two. Whip is reversed by RVD into the exposed turnbuckle. Renee jumps expecting the follow-through but no-one’s home. RVD with a punch and the shoulders in that corner. RVD jumps up and Renee drops him head first into the buckle and gets the pin. Dupree comes out to Booker and points at RVD who is still rolling around in pain. And then shows him the French Tickler. Commercials.

Winner: Renee Dupree
Grade: B-
Commentary: Booker T added a lot to this by making the commentary something you wanted to listen to. This unfortunately isn’t always the case even with the immense improvement of this duo. As for the match it was your standard RVD fare. Dupree came through with a good effort, but again the pacing was a little off. And no French Tickler during the match is just unacceptable.

Matches for the Great American Bash
Eddie Guerrero v. JBL Texas Bullrope Match for the WWE Championship
Fatal Fourway Elimination Match: John Cena v. Booker T v. Renee Dupree v. RVD for the U.S. Heavyweight Championship
Torrie Wilson v. Sable for Blondest Bimbo on SD!
Chavo Guerrero, Jr. v. Rey Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Championship
Undertaker v. The Dudley Boyz, First Ever Concrete Crypt Match
Tazz just said the crypt will be bulletproof. Bwahahaha. He must be afraid Taker is packing. Undertaker walking in the back. Commercials.

John Cena v. Undertaker
Lock-up and knees to Cena. Cena in the corner gets and Taker follows with an elbow and a power punch. Taker throws Cena cross corner but gets the elbow. Kick followed by punches by Cena as Taker is missing his hooks. Cena gets him into the corner and gives him a couple of shoulder thrusts. Cena backs off and lets Taker know he isn’t scared of him. Taker taking some more punches but finally connects with his own throat thrust. Taker with a knee and then a bodyslam. Tries a running elbowdrop but misses. Cena with punches but is tossed out by Taker. Cena trying to climb back in but gets an elbow and is suplexed in. Taker with the pin attempt only gets two. Taker goes old school and tries the pin, but only gets two. Taker palms Cena face but Cena comes back with knees and punches. Cena throws Taker to the ropes, misses the clothesline and gets hit with Taker’s flying lariat. Pin attempt only gets two. Taker signals and goes for the tombstone but Cena gets out. Cena with a whip which is reversed. Taker ducks down and Cena kicks him which gets no-sold and the pissed off face from UT. Taker tries to follow up but Cena drops and pulls down the top rope as Taker flies out of the ring. Commercials.

We re-join the match in progress…
Cena clotheslines Taker out of the ring. Cena comes out and kicks to Taker. Taker is up and Cena clotheslines him over the barrier. Cena comes back from breaking the count and Taker grabs him by the throat. Taker with a knee. Cena reverses a whip and throws Taker into the steps. Cena tries a double axe handle to Taker who’s still outside but gets caught. Taker rams him into the post. Taker lays Cena out with his head hanging out of the ring, and does the apron legdrop. Taker rolls Cena back in and only gets two off the pin attempt. Taker off the rope and kicks Cena in the face. Taker with an armbar with his knee in Cena’s face. Taker’s bored breaks the hold and kneedrops Cena. Taker stands him up and punches him back down. Taker kicks Cena and puts him in the corner. Taker puts him in the corner and more punches. Cena wakes up and hits a flurry of punches. Cena hits the ropes but gets a back elbow. Taker pin attempt only gets two. Taker stands Cena up and gives him the punch combo. Taker hit the superplex and only gets two off the pin attempt. Taker’s pissed and puts Cena in the rear naked choke hold. Cena fights out of it, but is knocked back down by a Taker blow to the back. Punch by Taker. Taker hits the ropes but gets laid out by the spinebuster. Both men up and exchanging punches. Taker takes the advantage off a knee and throws Cena into the ropes but he hits the shoulderblock. Clothesline by Cena. Pin attempt only gets two. Cena climbs the tope rope and connects with the elbow. The Throwback by Cena. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle!! He pumps the shoes and tries for the FU. Taker floats out and puts him down with a big boot. Legdrop and Taker pin attempt only gets two. Last Ride attempt is jumped out of. Taker tries for the clothesline but hits the ref instead. Punch by Cena. Cena feeding off the audience and hits a clothesline. FU!! No ref to count it. As Cena tries to awake the ref Taker does the zombie sit-up. Cena tries to put him back down but gets choke-slammed! Still no ref to count. Taker goes and gets Cena’s chain and wraps it around his fist and knocks Cena the fluck out. The ref is stirring as Taker picks John up and hits the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! And we are done. Taker scowls at the crowd as Heyman comes out with the urn. We get the same scene from last week to end SD! as Taker bows to the urn and we fade to black.

Winner: Undertaker
Grade: A+
Commentary: Perhaps the best of the Cena/Taker matches. This was an awesome match which had the crowd pumped and with both wrestlers working their hardest. If this didn’t stir something in you, then you my friend are an asshole. The best part this puts Cena over even more going into GAB. So when he loses the belt there, the only place ha has left to go is the Main Event.

Overall grade: A. We had good matches out of Eddie/Luther and Renee/RVD. And an awesome match out of Taker/Cena. And we can see that the Cruiser division is being re-emphasized again. All the stories are progressing and building to things even beyond that. What you are seeing right now my friends is SD! getting on a roll. Let’s hope they can keep it up.

E-mail me at [email protected] with feedback or words of love on the modified format.