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411’s WWE Velocity Report: 04.08.06

April 10, 2006 | Posted by Scott Fried

Psicosis versus Finlay

Lockup to start, and Finlay backs Psicosis into the corner. He breaks, and Psicosis heads out. They lock fingers, and Psicosis rolls back and tries for a wristlock. Finlay gets to the ropes. Psicosis rolls out of a wristlock, but Finlay grounds him. Finlay hits a European Uppercut, then whips Psicosis to the corner. Psicosis leaps over a charge and hits an enziguri. Finlay goes outside, and Psicosis hits a baseball slide. Pescade attempt, but Finlay crotches him on the ring skirt and slams him to the post. Back inside, Finlay goes to work on the shoulder with stomps, then locks the arm. Psicosis gets up and throws a few punches, but Finlay hammers him back and knocks him down. Finlay misses a shoulderblock to the corner, allowing Psicosis to get some punches and a bulldog. Psicosis hits a spinning heel kick, then goes up top and tries for another, but Finlay moves. The Finlay Driver finishes the match.

Winner: Finlay
Match Time: 3:44
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Not bad. Differing styles, but Psicosis held his own in the little brawl.

Matt Hardy versus Colt Cabana

Lockup to start. Hardy grabs a headlock, gets shoved off, and comes back with a shoulder. Josh doesn’t like Colt Cabana. Hardy gets another headlock, Colt grabs a hammerlock, Hardy takes a wristlock, Colt reverses. Hardy grabs a hammerlock, Colt goes for a snapmare, but Hardy rolls through. Colt gets to the ropes, then nails Hardy with a punch. Inverted Derailer by Cabana, then more punches. Hardy fights back with dainty shots of his own (Greg Helms he ain’t), then a swinging neckbreaker out of the corner. Side Effect hits. Twist of Fate finishes. Post match, “The Road Warrior” attacks Matt Hardy.

Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Time: 2:42
Rating: *3/4
Commentary: One sided, even for a Velocity squash. Still, nice wrestling sequence at the beginning. I’m ashamed to say that this is the only Colt Cabana match I’ve ever seen.

Miz commercial. He does shit around WWE headquarters. Miz looks like a cross between Sylvan Grenier and Brad O’Keefe from Grounded for Life. Let’s hope he wrestles better than those guys.

Jamie Noble and Kid Kash versus Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty

The heels attack from the get-go, with Noble taking Funaki and Kash taking Scotty. Scotty tosses Kash to the outside, and Noble and Funaki become legal. Noble gets a slam, but Funaki comes back with a punch and a wristlock whip. Tag to Scotty, who gets a wristlock and tags Funaki. Funaki comes in with a double axe handle to the arm, then gets his own wristlock. Noble hits a chop and tries to throw Funaki into Kash’s boot, but Funaki reverses. Still, Kash comes in to kick Funaki in the back, and Noble covers for two. Tag to Kash, double whip, double shoulder by the heels for two. Kash gets a few crossface blows, then grinds Funaki’s face into the mat. Kash chops Funaki against the ropes. Noble tags in and hits several kicks, then squeezes Funaki in front of Scotty. Cover gets two. Funaki fights up and out, then slugs Noble. Noble comes back with a whip to the corner, then covers for two. Tag to Kash, who gets a snapmare and a spine kick for two. Funaki gets a couple of gut shots, but Kash comes back with a sleeper. Jawjacker by Funaki. Kash tags Noble, but Funaki dodges the charge and tags Scotty. He gets an atomic drop and flying forearm on Noble, then a backdrop on Kash. He whips Kash into Noble, then hits the wormdog. Worm activity ensues, the chop hits, but Kash makes the save. Funaki runs in, but Kash throws him out. Kash brawls with Scotty, then he and Noble hit the Sweet and Sour on Scotty for the win.

Winners: Kash and Noble
Match Time: 6:03
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: Good tag team contest that’ll lead to nothing in the long run. Give these guys a mini-feud with the Mexicools, or something.

On Smackdown, Mark Henry had a rematch with The Undertaker. No contest, as Dalip Singh made his debut and attacked Taker. I’ve never seen Singh wrestle, but from what I’ve heard, he has more of a chance of winning the Best Actor Academy Award than he does the Wrestling Observer’s Best Overall Wrestler award.

Bobby Lashley versus Vito

The odds are against Vito, I’ll admit, but the odds have been against him before, and the result? A pinfall on Mitsuharu Misawa. Vito is wrestling in slacks. Lockup, and Lashley backs Vito to the corner. Vito shoves Lashley. Another lockup, and Lashley grabs a headlock. Vito gets knocked down with a shoulder. Lashley leapfrogs Vito twice, then hits a hiptoss. Lashley hits a hanging vertical suplex, and Vito seeks sanctuary in the ropes. Vito comes back with a hard shot to the face, then a side kick. He boots Lashley in the ribs and hits some clubbing blows, then follows with shoulders in the corner. Vito hits a few punches, then whips Lashley across the ring. He chokes Lashley on the second rope, then hits another kick. More choking, then a chinlock. Lashley elbows out, but Vito keeps on him with punches. Lashley reverses a whip, avoids Vito’s spring-over, then hits some forearms. Backdrop by Vito, followed by a couple of running forearms. Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex, then a clothesline in the corner. Lashley hits a Spear, then the Dominator for the win.

Winner: Lashley
Match Time: 5:31
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Dragged during Vito’s choking/chinlock offense, but both guys looked strong throughout.

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Scott Fried

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