wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 4.19.23
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...I may be SUPER late to the party, but that TV Show Succession is pretty bad ass…
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Jungle Boy Jack Perry is here to start us off! He’s in street clothes, but not like clothes for a Street Fight. Well, I suppose there are no rules to what he is allowed to wear to a Street Fight, but like, he definitely doesn’t have knee pads on, and his boots look like they’ve kicked a few asses, so it’s possible he might be here for a Street Fight in non-street clothes that he may wear on a normal day on the street.
Anyway, he hardly gets a word out before Sammy Guevara’s music hits, and he comes out just as unprepared for action as Jungle Boy. He calls JB “Jungle Jack,” then gets cut off by Darby Allin.
Darby tells Sammy he’s known him the longest and likes him the most. Of the three in the ring, Sammy is the least qualified. Perception is reality, and people view Sammy as a follower. He and Sting view each other as equals, while Sammy and Jericho don’t. It’s not called “The Sting Appreciation Society.” Darby tells him he’ll have to win the title on his own, Chris Jericho is holding him back. If that’s a problem, come say something to him and Sting.
As for Jungle Boy, Jack, whatever he’s going by. Of all the pillars, JB had to work the least hardest. He was handpicked for being part of this Cali clique. He remembers when JB was first announced as a new hire, Darby was still living in his car. IN that moment, he was jealous. Didn’t take long for that to disappear, because once he truly saw him, nothing intimidated Darby about him. Nothing.
Jack sees the paint on his face, and everywhere we go, he sees a bunch of kids with the same paint. All he can think is damn if they only knew what Darby is really like. Darby is anti-social, unfriendly, rude, but he was jealous
It’s at this point Sammy lays across the ropes.
Jungle Boy tells Darby he’s only here because he couldn’t make it as a skateboarder. As for Sammy? It’d be an immense challenge to come up with a new way to describe what a dirtbag Sammy is. Out of Darby and MJF, he respects Sammy the most because for better or worse, what you see is what you get with Sammy. Sammy puts his body, his life, and his future on the line. Respect. BUT…he’s still a scumbag piece of shit.
Sammy was all for talking trash to Darby, but let’s be real. JB hates MJF so much, but he is just like him. Hand-picked to be here – the golden children. First Double or Nothing? He was on the pre-show and he had to watch Bret Hart be in the ring with MJF and Jungle Boy. Most recently, Darby wasn’t on the most recent PPV, and neither was Sammy, but MJF and Jungle Boy was. He needs to thank Darby, because Darby gave him hope. He watched Darby lose match after match and still become the first pillar to win a title. He showed everyone that you could break whatever glass ceiling they want to put on us. He sat back and watched him become TNT Champion but better, and he did three times. Darby jumps off something high, he jumps off something higher. It’s Darby’s turn to sit back and watch him as he becomes the champion.
JB gives us a spoiler alert: he is the next AEW World Champion. He’s going to do it for him and everyone that has supported him since Day 1.
FINALLY, MJF is here to save this…
He cuts the music, tells Pittsburgh he doesn’t care what they think considering they think Britt Baker is talented.
He tells the three in the ring to stop fighting over him, they’re making him blush. He knows all of them are tied up in the rankings, so he had a convo with Tony Khan. He had an idea and MJF agrees. There will be a pillars tournament, and the winner gets to face him for the title at Double or Nothing.
Round 1 will get a bye.
MJF picks the name out of a hat, and it’s Darby Allin. Darby is super excited about this. MJF says in round 1, for the first time ever, it’ll be Sammy vs Jungle Boy and that’s tonight.
Rough promos from anyone not named MJF, as they all came off as complainers and comparing one another for the sake of doing so. In my opinion, they each became just a little bit more unlikable.
So no Fatal Four Way at Double or Nothin? Is this just a way to get there? Hmmmmmmm….
Toni Storm and Ruby Soho vs Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter
Im a little late to the party, but when I get back, Jamie is swinging a terrible towel for funsies. She hops into the ring and kicks Toni, then calls for a lariat. Toni stops her in her tracks, kicks her a few times in the face. Big kick from Ruby, then a hip attack from Toni. Ruby kicks Toni around a bit, but here comes Britt to kick Ruby then try for a Panama Sunrise, but Toni is there to kick her and stop it. Ruby mocks a few people in the crowd.
WE come back just in time for a tag to Britt and the crowd is lit. She hits a slingblade to Toni, a kick to Ruby, dodges a kick to Ruby and hits a neckbreaker. Toni rushes the corner but Britt sends her face first into the middle buckle. Britt calls for the glove, puts it on, Punches Ruby off the apron, German from Toni! She tries for Storm Zero, but Britt turns this into an Air Raid Crash. Cover for 1..2NO!!! Ruby in to stop it. Jamie sends her outside. Double elbow strikes from Jamie, back breaker from Jamie, she tosses her into Britt, Britt drops her, sliding clothesline from Jamie, cover by Brit for 1…2.NO!!! Ruby there to stop it.
Back elbow out the corner to Britt, Ruby locks the head and sends her into the middle buckle, then Toni hits a hell of a Hip Attack. Ruby sends Britt right…into a belt to the face by Saraya! Toni with Storm Zero! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!! Britt kicks out! Tag to Ruby. Ruby in as Toni attacks Jamie, sending her into the steps, then hitting a dropkck into the arm. Ruby sits Britt on the corner. Climbs up. Britt sends Ruby off, kicks Toni off the apron, Britt with the Panama Sunrise! Cover for 1…2……NO!!!!
Britt hits the ropes, stomp to Ruby. Right hand to Toni. Cover for 1…..2…NO!!!! LOCKJAW! Tap!
Winners: Jamie Hayter and Britt Baker
Rough start, with nothing mattering before the commercial that I saw. Loved the hometown love, but
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:06 (Possibly more, I showed up late. Sue me)
Backstage, Renee is with Wardlow to ask if he has a different approach for tonight. Wardlow says not too long ago, he had a Horseman ringside with him and taught him about evening the playing field, so he reached out to another Horseman…
Arn F’n Anderson is here! He runs the list of what was all done to Wardlow. Kids stuff. Then they took the title. He’s been a champ all his life. He knows what that means. So do you wanna do what Arn used to do? That wakes people up. Tully was a smart guy, taught him how to play checkers, he’s sure, but starting tonight, they’re gonna start playin chess.
Nice.
Kenny Omega is here with the homies The Young Bucks.
Omega seems pretty serious. He says these past few weeks have been incredibly difficult. He calls BCC four of the most respected wrestlers on the planet until…he made his friends bleed, sent his uncle to the hospital, and his friends with him. He is having trouble sleeping at night, the same image of that screwdriver in the buckle, is seared into his brain. The one thing he wishes he could change is taking that screwdriver out of the buckle and plunging it into Jon’s face. He hasn’t much to say, but he has an invite. To BCC, he wants to see them in the ring and settle it like men.
Bryan Danielson is on the tron. He calls them amateurs. They have interview time but don’t have much to say? Nobody pays to see open mic night at a comedy club.
As Bryan cuts his promo, Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta attack from behind! Young Bucks take over. Nick Superkicks Claudio. Matt comes to help him after beating Yuta down a bit. Omega is with Moxley, and they’re going at it near the crowd. Nick flies over the barricade into the crowd onto Claudio. Yuta is with Nick who is hitting Northern Lights x’s 3.
Omega has a chair. He hits Yuta one time, but Moxley hits him from behind with a rear naked choke! Yuta gets Nick with a few rights. Omega sends Moxley into the barricade. Matt sends Yuta into the crowd. Omega takes the shirt off Moxo onto his head then attacks with uppercuts!
In the ring, Yuta attacks Matt with the belt then attacks the bicep, but Nick comes in to stop him and beat him down a bit. Claudio is in and gutwrenches Nick then turns this into a powerbomb. Omega in, attacks Claudio. Omega kicks Yuta, GERMAN TO YUTA! Moxley in. He knees Omega, Claudio helps. Death Rider to Omega! Claudio stomps Kenny.
Here comes Bryan on the mic. He says nothing but a bunch of amateurs. Exactly what he thought. He THOUGHT Omega would be the professional, but maybe he’s not.
Don Callis runs down with a chair! Bryan turns to him, tells him what does he think he is doing?
Don drops the chair and runs to the back.
Bryan says Kenny is not an amateur. Kenny has potential, buthe’d rather sit in the lobby on it. If that’s the case, he needs to be gone.
Bryan pulls a screwdriver out of his jacket pocket. He says this house needs to be fixed.
Don is back, with Takeshita! He drops Yuta, enters the ring, sends. Claudio out, elbow strike to Moxley. He stands in between Bryan and Takeshita.
Yuta back in, he eats an elbow. V-Trigger to Yuta! Blue Thunder Bomb from Takeshita!!! Clothesline to Moxley from both Omega and Takeshita! Don rolls into the ring. Callis hold the hands of Omega and Takeshita up in the middle of the ring.
TNT Championship Match
Wardlow vs Powerhouse Hobbs
Wardlow starts with a double leg and gets Hobbs to the corner. Hobbs hits a belly to belly in the center. Another. A third. Wardlow shoves Hobbs and he heads outside. Wardlow follows, whisp Hobbs into the barricade. They head into the crowd. Wardlow is about to powerbomb Hobbs, but Hobbs back body rops Wardlow back over the barricade. Wardlow lands on his feet and punches Hobbs then brings him over the barricade the hard way.
We come back to the show, and Wardlow hits a Swanton Bomb! No cover, though, as he takes his time getting up. They trade blows in the middle of the ring. Back and forth until Wardlow hits the ropes then clotheslines Hobbs! GERMAN to Hobbs!! Another! Suplex attempt, Hobbs hops over, spins Wardlow, to the shoulders, Wardlow flows off, headbutt to the chest. Big lariat. The blonde chick distracts. QT comes in with a cutter! Hobbs turns, tries to finish it! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! QT enters the ring, and his ass gets in the ref’s face.
Here comes Arn, who pulls out the Glock! QT runs out of the ring and there’s Penta to give him a superkick! QT back into the ring. DDT FROM ARN ANDERSON!!!
Hobbs with a surprise rollup! He gets 1..2.NO!!!
POWERBOMB FROM WARDLOW!!! Wardlow locks the head. Another powerbomb! A third! Cover! 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Wardlow
With the addition of Arn Anderson, it was almost a given, really. I’m ok with Wardlow getting his title back, and I think Hobbs was a bit elevated by the win. Everyone wins. Well, not technically..
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:02
The music of Christian Cage hits and he comes out with Luchasaurus to stare down Wardlow.
Backstage, Renee is with Sammy Guevara. Hoe does he feel? Here comes MJF, though. Sammy says they aint friends, what does he want? MJF says he has always liked Sammy, even since Inner Circle days. Sammy wants the point. MJF has an agreement that would behoove both of them. He heard Sammy say everyone was more successful than him. He is offering Sammy a guaranteed spot for the title at Double or Nothing, and all he’s gotta do is lay down.
Sammy says he’ll be Jungle Boy, Darby, then MJF to get the title. MJF calls him a great guy, says he’s better than Darby and JB combined, but the likelihood of him beating three pillars, one of them being MJF, shaky and slim to none. So, a guaranteed shot and a blank check with Sammy’s name on it. Write down any number. He knows hell be fair. Sammy hands the check over. MJF says deal. Sammy says friends don’t shake hands, they hug.
They hug.
Kommander vs Jay White (w/ Juice Robinson)
They shake hands to start. Lockup! White corners his opponent. Stomps in the corner. Huge chop.
Shawn Spears is shown in the crowd.
Whip to Kommander, into the corner, kick from Kommander, misses a kick but gets another to Jay. He hits a right elbow to Jay, some kicks, Kommander to the top and he drives some knees to the back of Jay. Jay sends Kommander to the apron, he springboard, falls onto the rope, backs back down, does a bunch of hopping and hits a sloppy rana to Jay! The crowd loves it, but that could have looked significantly better. Jay rolls to the outside.
Kommander to the top rope. He walks it, drops down, Jay on the apron, high kick to Jay. He flies to the apron, kicks the jaw, again to the top rope, moonsault off the middle buckle, lands on his feet, Jay kicks, front suplex onto the apron!
We are back and jay White is chopping the chest off of Kommander. Kommander replies wwith a chop, a kick, another kick, a slap to the face, the chest! A rollup from Kommander gets a 1..2..NO!!! Low clothesline from Jay knocks Kommander on his ass. Lockup from behind, Kommander elbows out, chop from Jay, he sits Kommander up on the top rope. Jay climbs, Kommander slinks off, kicks Jay in the ass, He hops to the top opre and pulls back the arm of Jay, but Jay pokes the eye . Enziguri from Kommander. Jay tujmbles to the outside. Kommander to the top rope. Jay rolls back in, Kommander hops over, lands on his feet, kicks Jay out of the ring. Kommander back to the top rope. He walks the ropes, hops to the adjacent side, and flies onto Jay!!! He sends Jay back into the ring as Shawn Spears holds up a 10. Roepwalk shooting star press! But Jay rolls away! Kommander covers! 1..2..NO!!!!! Springboard Pheonix Splash from Kommander outa nowhere! Cover for 1.2..NO!!! To the top rope again. Tries for a Pheonix, roll through, Blade Runner attempt from Jay, but Kommander hops on the back of Jay and pulls back the arm!
Jay spins Kommander into his clutches Suplex! Blade Runner! Cover! 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Jay White
A much much much better showing for Kommander this week, as he wasn’t all about the flash and actually gave us something of a match. Being in there with White helped, and he isn’t quite where he needs to be, but this was shades better than last week.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time:10:39
Shawn Spears is shown holding up a 5 in the crowd.
Juice Robinson is apparently offended by this because he pulls Shawn out of the crowd and lays in on some kicks. Juice rolls Spears into the ring and he and Jay stomp him out a bit until Ricky Starks runs down and hits Juice with a spear! Jay and Juice roll out of the ring as Ricky helps up Kommander and Spears.
Backstage, Renee is with FTR and she shows them footage of Mark Briscoe being attacked earlier today. They rush to a locker room where Mark is being checked on by Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett, Sonjay Dutt, and Signh. FTR tells him they’ll take care of it. Mark points out Lethal and JJ and tells them to team with FTR to get their revenge. Mark will be there front row. FTR and Jay agree begrudgingly.
The Jericho Appreciation Society’s music hits and they head out just before a break.
When we return, Adam Cole is here in yellow and black shoes.
Jericho mentions that the crowd loves him.
Cole says he studied and idolized Jericho. A lot of the foundation was inspired by it. His catchphrase was inspired by Chris Jericho. He remembers reading Jericho’s first book about traveling and learning all these different styles. He remembers wanting to be like Jericho. Fast forward to now, and they are in the ring together for the first time ever and he thinks that’s pretty damned cool. He wants to express that he has a TON of respect for Jericho.
Jericho extends his hand. Cole shakes it.
Jericho is glad Cole said these kinds words. He appreciates it. He has been watching Cole’s stuff for a while, and from the bottom of his heart, he has zero respect for Cole. In fact, he thinks he’s an arrogant son of a bitch. The audacity he shows to interrupt Jericho’s celebration to give Keith Lee a handshake. It’s not cool for a talent as legendary as Jericho, and Cole is lucky Jericho doesn’t slap his dumb face.
Cole was afraid Jericho was going to say that. Lately, Jericho has been a real “jaggoff.” How hypocritical can Jericho be? When was the last time Jericho looked into the mirror to ask who is the real Jericho? Is he the egomaniac that has the JAS win his matches for him, or is it The GOAT, the Demo-god? One of the greatest? Cole thinks the real Chris Jericho is an insecure, fickle, stupid idiot. You wanted Cole’s attention, and he’s got it, so now what?
First of all, Jericho is not a jagoff, says he. Secondly, Cole doesn’t impress him. You never want to meet your heroes or idols, but in this case it’s true. Cole doesn’t wanna meet Jericho, know him, or have anything to do with Jericho, so if he’s smart, Cole will turn around and get out of the ring that Jericho built right here and now.
Jericho shoves Cole, so Cole attacks! Stomps in the corner, but here comes Daniel Garcia to stomp Cole out in the corner! Jericho removes the many spikes he dons and joins in on the 2-on-1.
Britt Baker runs down and rips Jericho off of Cole in the corner. Jericho is stunned. Garcia stands by. Britt with a slap to Jericho.
Here is The Outcasts from under the ring. They stomp out Britt with a 3-on-1! Commentary calls this a setup. Garcia has handcuffs. He cuffs one arm to the rope. Garcia grabs a kendo stick outside and hands it oer to Jericho. Cole tells Jericho to go ahead and hit him. He sares Jericho. Do it.
Jericho ready to attack, but Jericho hands the stick to….
Saraya!!! Nice!!!
She stands over Britt, then smacks her across the back.
Cole: “Let her go!”
Lol .Britt is yelling “Austin.”
The heels leave as Britt reaches for her hubby but doesn’t quite make it.
I really feel this wouldn’t work anywhere but Pittsburgh, so kudos on them utilizing that.
Matt Menard, Angelo Parker, and Jake Hager vs The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn
Sick ass verse from Max to start.
They attack Acclaimed as the bell rings but Acclaimed gets the upperhand quickly. Bowens tags in Max to kick Parker then hit a body slam. Bowens to the top, and we get a Scissor Me Timbers, or as Tazz calls it, “Yam Bagg Yahtzee.”
We are BACK and Billy Gunn gets the hot tag. He uppercuts Hager, sends Parker out, kicks Hager, sets up for a powerbomb, tells Hager to suck his…well, his dick. Tries for a Fameasser, but Hager avoids it and hits a big takedown and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Tag from Bowens. Tag to Menard. Bowens with a flurry of offense, but Parker knocks Bowens across the face with…something. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! lol. “A loaded comb” is what commentary says Parker has. He swings, hits Hager on the apron on accident. He backs into Billy Gunn. Gunn takes the comb out of his hand, breaks it, which really makes you wonder what kinda strength it had to knock someone out.
Bowens with a hard rolling elbow. Tag to Max. Bowens with The Arrival. Mic Drop. Cover for 1..2..3!!!!
Winners: The Acclaimed
Kind of cheesy, but The Acclaimed are fun enough to get a pass.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 6:11
Jungle Boy vs Sammy Guevara
JB is quick to send Sammy outside the ring, then follow. Sammy hops into the ring and dives out over JB only for JB to head back in and hit a rana off the apron to Sammy. He rolls Sammy into the ring, both men up top. Spanish Fly to JB! Both men out. They are up. Back elbow from JB. Sammy on the apron, JB tries for a powerbomb, but Sammy dodges. He kicks down, JB catches, puls himself up, stalemate on the apron. Right hands from both. Superkick from JB and he heads to the 2nd rope. He flies, and Sammy hits a knee as JB falls. Sammy grabs JB on the apron. SPANISH FLY OFF THE APRON TO JB ON THE OUTSIDE! Shit.
We are back and JB is whipped into the corner chest first but flies back with a huge lariat to Sammy. Darby is shown watching from the rafters. Sammy on the apron, JB flips across his back, holds onto him for a powerbomb and drops him on the edge of the apron! JB rolls Sammy into the ring, JB hops to the top rope. He flies off the top rope with a Destroyer! Yeesh. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Sammy with a kick. He heads to the top. CUTTER TO JB!! He lifts JB, turns him, DDT! Holy fuck! Implant DDT it’s called by Excalibur, and damn that shit looked vicious. Sammy calls for the end. Sammy wants a GTH, but JB catches it, counters, reverse rana! JB lifts Sammy, goes for the elbow, Sammy ducks, knee to the back of the head, Sammy ducks a clothesline, poison rana, but he still hits an elbow strike!!!
We get a slap fest from both men back and forth, as they stand. Superkick from JB, knee strike attempt from Sammy, but JB catches him! SNARE TRAP TO SAMMY!! Sammy reaches! He gets to the roeps! Both boys to the ropes, but Sammy hits a huge dropkick and JB flies of the corner ONTO the timekeeper’s area! JB hits the corner of it, not breaking it. Damn. Ref gets to 6 before Jungle Boy even moves. He stands, Sammy grabs the ref,
MJF is ringside! He punches JB in the head!!! Sammy tells the ref to keep counting! He hits 9…then 10.
Winner: Sammy Guevara
Some of those moves were questionable, but if any two were going to do them, it’s these two psychos. A solid main event where the ending didn’t really hurt because it’s all leading to something. MJF is a scumbag and Sammy is, apparently, not that smart.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 11:33
MJF runs down to celebrate with his new best friend. He holds Sammy up on his shoulders. Lol.
End Show
