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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 8.11.21
Image Credit: AEW/Twitter
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OH YEAH, THIS IS A WRESTLING SITE, ISN’T IT?
MJF is backstage somewhere with Wardlow and an apple. He says he’s beaten Jericho twice, and Jericho has never beaten him. This eats at him, and he’s gone through HELL just to get to MJF. Come on. Even MJF feels a little bad for him. He’s so close to his ultimate goal, but he will be stopped at #4 with Wardlow, the most dangerous and volatile, fastest and strongest big man this sport has ever seen. MJF wants to throw a little scenario at Jericho. Let’s just say, Hercules vanquishes MJF’s titan and gets the matchup with MJF, he will have gone through it all only to find out that MJF is still better than Jericho…and he knows it.
Wardlow says he’ll beat Jericho, and MJF clowns him mocking his loss to Cody in a cage, then tells him to get the job done.
Wardlow crushes the apple in his hand. Nice. Lol.
The Elite is here to be badasses. That’s a whole lotta gold.
Out comes Dante Martin and The Sydal Brothers.
Match 1: Dante Martin and The Sydal Brothers vs Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks
Matt and…Matt to start! Matt hits a body slam, then tries for another, but ydal flips over and kicks then hits a standing sick ass flip. Tag to his brother Mike and he stomps Matt’s midsection. Arm drag from Mike. He works the arm then rolls up for a pin. 1…NO!!! Matt gets backed into the corner. Tag from Dante. Dante works the arm, Matt scrapes the eyes and tags in Nick. Nick hits the ropes, hits a tackle, and gloats. He hits the ropes and hops over then under and Dante hits a dropkick. Tag to Mat but Dante hits a suck hurricanrana. Omega attacks from behind. In come The Sydals to double enziguri Omega. All three men in the ring and baseball slide The Elite. Sydals to the apron, they shoot Dante off the apron as they dive off as well! Dante in the ring with Matt, flies off the top with a crossbody. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Mike does the splits, punches the gut, hits a moonsault. Cover for 1….2….NO!!! Jawbreaker from Matt and a tag to Kenny. He swipes a dropkick from Mike. Omega slaps him in the face, locks the head, lifts up and power—noooo. Mike hits the ropes, Nick kicks him in the back, and Omega hits a front face bulldog.
Stomps from Nick as he enters from the tag. Running boot from Nick. Nick sends Mike into the corner then hits a body slam. Tag to Kenny. He enters and scrapes the face. Kenny hits the ropes and drops an elbow. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Kenny tags in Matt and Matt attacks in the corner. Tag to Omega nd he attacks the back of the head. Kenny chops the chest hard. They triple team Mike until Mike gets a tag to his brother! Nick breaks up a tag, but Sydal double hurricanranas them! They try to double submit Matt but Omega breaks it up! Full Nelson slam attempt but Dante esapes and hits an enziguri. Dante to the apron, wanting a tag. Tag to Dante. He’s in with a clothesline. Running up in the corne and hits some right hands. Dropkick to Matt! SUICIDE DIVE TO OMEGA ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Dante hops up on the apron, into the ring, kicks Omega with a right, flies off the top rope onto Omega with a hurricanrana!!! Moonsault to Matt. Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Dante to the top rope. Matt rolls out of the way, Dante lands on his feet, Nick runs with a kick. DDT FROM MATT! In runs omega with a running knee! Tag from Omega. He grabs Dante and locks the head. He drops Dante’s head on the knee. Running knee to the face! Omega tries for a One-Winged Angel, but Dante flies off, dropkick. V-Trigger!!! Tiger Driver, but Dante reveres. Rollup for 1..2…NO!!! Backslide from Dante for 1..2…N!O!!!! V-TRIGGER!!!!
Omega gets him up. Sydal Brothers come in. Superkick to them! One-Winged Angel! BTE TRIGGER!!!! Cover for 1…2…..3!!!!!!!!!
Winners: Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks
If you didn’t know who Dante was before this match, Im hoping you do now. He showed up and they let him get his shit in. Nice opener.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:01
Tony tries to get some words with the guys, but Don takes the mic from them and says it’s great to be out here with the greatest tag team in the history of…
CHRISTIAN is here! Don calls him The Stamford Stooge. He wonders if Christian is really this dumb. He’s outnumbered.
But out comes Jurassic Express.
WE COME BACK TO Cage and Jurassic Express in the ring. Don announces that Christian is getting his title shot at All Out. Don says Christian has one of the best finishers he’s ever seen, and Kenny cant wait to kick out of it. Is Christian nervous? Don’t be nervous, Kenny is going to give him that five-star match he’s always wanted. Do you think Omega is going to wrestle Cage now? In Pittsburgh?
Christian calls Don a carny piece of shit. Lol.
Cage is sorry. He takes it back. What he should have said was, you carny jaggoff, since they’re in Pittsburgh.
Don is right, it’s locked in. The most important championship in this sport, the AEW World Championship, is on the line, but Kenny has more than one championship, and guess what…Kenny will be wrestling in Pittsburgh, this Friday, in the very first match.
Kenny vs Christian for the Impact Championship.
Kenny tries to argue, but the music hits and he and Jurassic Express leave. Kenny is pissed.
Jungle Boy grabs the mic. He completely forgot. He talked to Tony, as well. He told them that they have a pretty big match coming up. Next week on Dynamite, they’re wrestling Young Bucks for the tag team titles.
Kenny, hilariously, asks for his music to be cut. He wants to know if the crowd was saying “wooo oooh oohhh” or “Nooo ooooh ooohh.”
We change gears to Malakai Black, who has a black and white video package, saying he has made good on everyting he said. It was quick, short, and violent. But he who speaks the truth is labelled the fool. Cody is lonely because he surrounds himself with people. Black holds up one boot, and says Cody has one foot in the grave already, and just let him know when he wants to drop the other one. Black warns everyone that the volume of your voice is so low when you realize you’ve been arguing with God.
Commentary says Cody is not here, and they don’t know how long he will be out. But before all of that, they’ve been recording Cody’s reality show, and here is some of it.
MIRO gets a promo telling us he’ll face Fuego Del Sol, and the title is on the line.
Match 2: Daniel Garcia (w/ 2.0) vs Darby Allin (w/ Sting)
Lockup! Darby is backed into the corner. Daniel gets pushed back by the ref, then coyly pats Darby’s face. Another lockup! Go behind by Darby, he underhooks, arm drag and a trip and a cover but gets nothing. Darby with a side headlock. Garcia tries to break it, but Darby holds on. Daniel gains wrist control, and takes Darby down to the mat. They go back and forth with pins for a bit till Darby gets a rope break. He tries for an arm bar, but Daniel gets to the ropes. Both men up, lockup again, Darby with a hammer lock, Daniel puts Darby’s head under his arm. 2.0 distracts until Sting walks up to them. Daniel uses the distraction to send Darby into the corner hard.
We are back, and Daniel hits an uppercut under the arm of Darby. Daniel works the arm some more, then hits a running chop to Darby. Whip to the corner and Garcia runs for a dropkick, but Darby moes. Darby to the top rope. 2.0 on the outside to distract. Daniel attacks the back of the leg. Daniel grabs Darby and hits a back suplex onto a hammer lock. Cover for 1.2…NO!!!! Garcia stomps the shit out of the left arm over and over, then locks the arms up with his legs, pulling back on the arms while sitting on his back. Garcia kicks the head of Darby over and over. Darby gets to the ropes. Garcia is forced to break the hold. Garcia chops the back of Darby, waking the beast up from within. HARD slaps to the face of Garcia! GOOZLE! Garcia breaks it with an uppercut!
Darby off the ropes with a coffin drop attempt, but Garcia catches him with a rear naked choke!! Darby pushes back into a pin, escapes, STUNNER!!! COFFIN DROP OFF THE TOP!!! Pin for 1….2…..3!!!
Winner: Darby Allin
What strikes me as interesting is that they didn’t HAVE TO do this. Like, they could have given Darby a quick five minute squash and called it a day, but instead, they gave us a bit of an old school wrestling match and an opportunity for Daniel Garcia to be more than just a jobber.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:43
2.0 and Garcia attack Darby after the match, but this doesn’t last long as Sting is there to beat some ass. SPEAR FROM DARBY! Sting makes short work of the guys and stands tall while Darby sits at the top of the ramp.
WOO HOO!!! Death Triangle is backstage! Rey tells Pac that they need to do something. They are Death Triangle. Penta says he wants Andrade first. Alex tries to translate, but Pac understands. He tells them to let him worry about Andrade. They need to focus on the tag team titles. They are, undeniably, the best. They deserve gold.
Pac tells Andrade that the reality is this; they don’t know him, they don’t like him, and they have no idea why he’s obsessed, but it stops now. If he has a problem with what Pac is saying: anywhere and anytime, come and have a go. He’s easy to find.
Match 3: Orange Cassidy, Wheeler Yuta, and Chuck Taylor vs Matt Hardy and Private Party
Orange and Matt to start. Orange tries to put his hands in his pocket, but Matt DELETES! He goes at it, and Orange grabs his wrist and place Matt’s hands into his pocket! Matt esapes, hits a Side Effect. Matt to the 2nd rope. Leg Drop attempt but Orange rolls out of the way slowly. Orange is up, Matt misses a splash in the corner. Orange to the top rope! He drops down to the bottom rope. HE MOCKS MATT AND DEADASS FALLS ONTO MATT WITH A SPLASH! Pin for 1…NO!!! Tag to Quen. Kassidy in, too. They double team Orange, and go for a Poetry in Motion. Orange sends Quen out of the ring, then gets the death defying kicks to Kassidy, dropping to his knees, and Yuta gets some Poetry in Motion! Chuck Taylor in! Eat Defeat! Yuta covers! 1…2..N!O!!! Whip. Reversed. Quen kicks. Silly String to Yuta!! Kassidy knocks Orange and Chuck off, then covers for 1..2..NO!!!
WE are back and Yuta hits an elbow to Quen, a boot to the jaw of Kassidy, dropkick off the top to both men! All three down.
On the outside, Kris Statlander and Bunny are talkin shit to one another. Out of nowhere, Nyla Rose attacks Statlander. Orange checks on her, and here is Jack Evans to attack Orange.
In the ring, Yuta backs into a tag to Chuck. Private Party miss a clothesline. Boot to Quen, go behind to Kassidy, sends him into QUen, Chuck FLIES OVER THE TOP ONTO BLADE AND ANGELICO!! Back in the ring, Kassidy kicks him, Chuck pops him up and drops him hard. Up goes QUen, and he powerbombs him ONTO Kassidy!! Chuck locks up, spins for a sitout powerbomb! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Matt is there to stop the pin! Orange off the ropes, DDT!!! Kipup! Hits the ropes. SUICIDE DIVE TO MATT ON THE OUTSIDE!!!! Chuck with a clothesline in the corner! Tag to Yuta, Chokeslam to Quen. Yuta with a splash! Cover for 1…2…..NO!!!! Whip to the ropes, Quen holds on, kick to Yuta, right to Chuck. Yuta go behind, waist lock. Kassidy in the corner. Tag and Quen elbows out, then hits a pele kick. Yuta rolls out, rolls right back in. GERMAN TO QUEN! Swanton from Kassidy!! Cover for 1…2….NO!!!! Tag to Quen. Both men up but here’s Chuck to rip Quen off of Yuta, Matt grabs Chuck, Quen lies off the corner, lands on his feet, flies up, and we get GIN AND JUICE!! Cover!!!! 1….2…N!O!!!
Orange is in the ring!!! ORANGE PUNCH!!!! Jack Evans on the apron. Orange is distracted, turns and Matt sends Quen INTO Orange. Kick to Yuta. Twist of Fate. Cover for 1..2…..3!!!!
Winners: Matt Hardy and Private Party
Oh Matt, you smarmy, slimey mofo. Clunky at times, and definitely not enough Orange Cassidy, but good enough for me.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:46
Andrade is backstage with Chavo. He calls Pac ungrateful. Chavo echoes this sentiment. He goes over all that was offered to Pac, and this is the thanks he gives Andrade? Pac needs to be careful what he wishes for. Chavo wants Andrade to teach Pac who the boss is. Andrade says he is the boss. Pac will find this out at All Out.
Video package for Santana and Ortiz telling FTR to wrap that shit up and keep on pushing. Thy ain’t done, and they ain’t going anywhere.
Match 4: Nyla Rose vs Kris Statlander
Nyla starts hard with a POUNCE!! She chokes Kris up on the bottom rope and Vickie smacks her one itme. Nyla rushes, and Kris holds the ropes, causing Nyla to tumble to the apron. Kris slides under her legs and pulls Nyla down hard. Moonsault from Kris. She sends Nyla into the ring. Kris with the thumbs up. She stands on the apron. Nyla stands in the ring.
Vickie Guerrero gets in the face of Orange Cassidy and just screams. Nyla hits a chokeslam on the apron. Cover for 1…2…NO!!!!! Nyla locks the head, goes for a suplex, hangs Kris on the top rope. Nyla to the top rope. Kris handstands and walks away from the ropes, so Nyla hops off the corner and spears the upside down Kris! She sits Kris on the top rope. Kris drops down and has Nyla on her shoulders.
Powerbomb to Nyla!!! Kris to the top rope! Area 451! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Kris Statlander
A good showing for Statlander.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Backstage, The Young Bucks have something to say.
They have a basketball, and Cutler is behind them. They say goodbye to Hangman, then talk about their six man earlier. They’ve dominated over the past year. They’ve shown it over and over. No one is in their league, and next week, it will be as easy as a layup.
Nick goes for a shot, but in comes Luchasaurus and blocks it, passes to Jungle Boy, who comes in with a layup. Lucha stands tall, says not in his house, and Matt calls this a foul. Cutler says no, it was all ball.
Tony is in the middle of the ring and he welcomes Britt Baker to the ring.
Britt is out in some Penguins inspired gear. Tony brings up Red Velvet. Britt says she really cant comment on her rise because it wouldn’t be fair. She can’t relate. She’s always been at the top. Her fearlessness is something she can relate to, though. She wasn’t afraid to step up when this company needed a new era. She wasn’t afraid to step up when this city needed a champion. This has been a difficult year for Pittsburgh, but she presents to the crowd some hope, and holds the title high. Speaking of hope, Red may have had a glimmer of it if she was wrestling in any other city. If Red wants to swim with the sharks, she’ll drag her ass to the deep end. This Friday, it’s her and Britt in the main event.
RED VELVET IS HERE!!! She attacks until refs hold them back.
Starks cuts a promo saying he’ll be by himself on Friday. Cage is down.
Match 5: Impact World Tag Team Titles
The Dark Order (Stu Grayson and Evil Uno) vs The Good Brothers
As The Good Brothers make their entrance, Grayson flips over the top rope onto both men. He sends Anderson into the ring. Uno is there to hit a few right hands. Tag to Grayson. Grayson in with a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Uno. Uno with a surprise rollup for 1….NO!!! Uno with a right hand. Whip to Uno, tag to Grayson. He gets whipped right into a kick. Anderson floats Uno onto the apron. Uno sends Anderson into the corner. Uno looks to fly but Cutler is there to trip him up. Colt Cabana runs up to Cutler and hits a hard right directly to the face. Cutler tries to spray him away, but Kazarian comes out to hit a clothesline to Cutler!
We are back and Grayson is doing what Grayson does, kickin all kinds of ass. He hits a Rock Bottom to Anderson, springboard flips onto Anderson. Gallows there to interrupt. Tag from Gallows. He enters, firemans. Elbow from Grayson, he floats off, then gets a torture rack attempt to Gallows, but he’s too big. Tag to Anderson. Double Pele Kick! Tag to Uno! Huge kick to Anderson, Knee from Grayson, Anderson falls onto the boots of Uno, who kicks him forward, and we get a belly to belly INTO Gallows in the corner!!! Double team finisher from Uno and Grayson! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Tag to Grayson. Uno grabs Anderson, Gory Special, Anderson flies off, Gallows hits the flying Grayson. Magic Killer to NO!!! Uno stops it! Gallows hits a right, he runs, and low bridge sends Gallows to the outside! Uno grabs Grayson and launches him INTO GALLOWS ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Faltliner to Andreson! He tells Grayson to stand! FOry! Gallows sends the belt into the ring. Ref grabs the title, Gallows distracts Grayson!
Anderson with a Gun Stun to Uno!! MAGIC KILLER TO GRAYSON! COVER for 1….2….3!!!!
Winners: The Good Brothers
Evil Uno and Grayson are just so damned good. Gallows…not so much.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
QT is in the ring with Tony. Tony wants the apology that he’s been waiting for for three weeks. QT says, his words were twisted. He said there would BE AN APOLOGY, not that he’d be the one apologizing. But since they don’t have much time, QT will apologize for what they are about to do to Tony’s son right now.
They pull someone from the crowd into the ring. Solow holds hm back and QT punches him in the gut. He tells Tony to apologize. Tony apologizes for everything. QT says apology not accepted. Stunner to Tony’s son.
This calls out The freakin Big Show! Or Paul Wight, I guess.
Paul removes his watches and puts it in his pocket. Wight enters the ring. He stares down the trio. GOOZLE TO SOLOW! QT and Comoroto leave the ring. Chokeslam to Solow!
Match 6: Chris Jericho vs Wardlow
Jericho tries to start strong, but Wardlow cuts that shit off quick, sending Jericho into the corner hard. He runs into a kick from Jericho. Jericho to the top rope .H eflies off with an axe. He rushes with a Codebreaker! Pin for 1…NO!!!! Wardlow rushes Jericho into the corner. Shoulder into the corner! He tosses Jericho across the ring. Wardlow locks the head, hits a suplex toss to Jericho. Another. Hard clothesline sends Jericho to the outside. Wardlow follows and attacks the back of Jericho. He sends Jericho into the apron. Whip to Jericho sends him into the barricade. Wardlow stomps the arm, attacks the back, sends Jericho into the ring. Wardlow presses Jericho, pushes him into the post, then just drops him on the apron. He lifts Jericho and sends his back into the post. Wardlow sends Jericho back into the ring. He grabs Jericho, calls for a powerbomb, HITS IT! Wardlow wants another powerbomb, Jericho kinda falls, but Wardlow still hits it.
We are back, and MJF is shedding some fake tears. Apparently, Wardlow has powerbombed Jericho like 8 times. Jericho on his knees. Chop to Wardlow. Again. Another. Shove from Wardlow, Jericho flies for a crossbody, Wardlow catches him, firemans’, spins. F10!!! Wardlow sits Jericho on the top rope. He looks to end it, but Jericho hops down! Sweep the leg. WALLS OF JERICHO!!!! MJF hops on the apron and rakes the eyes of Jericho!
MJF slides in the ring with the ring, but Aubrey catches him and sends him to the back!
Wardlow turns towards Jericho. He has the bat! Jericho clocks Wardlow across the forehead! Judas Effect! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
A little sloppy there, since Wardlow is green and Jericho is a bit on the slower side. But the story was told, and we had a program last nearly two months that was entertaining.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:57
Shawn Spears attacks Jericho out of nowhere until Sammy rushes the ring to save him! Wardlow tosses Sammy around, drops him hard. In comes MJF to grab Jericho and lock in The Salt of the Earth. Spears and Wardlow double team Sammy while MJF holds it in. Finally, Hager rushes down and clears the ring.
MJF on the top ramp. He says Jericho may have gotten the rematch, but he still doesn’t know the stipulations. MJF says that next week, he will take away something Jericho loves. Next week, No Judas Effect. No Judas Music. He will come out to Dead Silence. If Jericho hits the Judas Effect, MJF automatically wins. He has a prediction for next week: Jericho will find out that he’s met his successor. There is a new king in town, and his name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman.
Gonna be so sick to see the crowd sing Jericho’s entrance.
End Show
