wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 8.3.22
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Good golly, is it Wednesday already?!
It’s Wednesday…you know what that means!
IT’S ORANGE F’N CASSIDY!
Is that a new shirt? Need it!
Match 1: Orange Cassidy vs Jay Lethal
Bell rings and Orange wants Jay to stand back so he can properly ready himself. Hands in pocket, Jay takes the bait, Orange rolls him up 1..2…NO!!! Side headlock from OC. Shoulder tackle off the ropes, cover for 1.NO! Shoulder tackle again. Jay reverses. Tackle from Jay. Arm drag. Arm drag from OC, he offers a hand for another, then pulls up to block it. HANDS IN POCKETS!!!! Jay on his knees, pissed. Jay gets up, misses a clothesline, back elbow, foes for Lethal Injection, but orange kicks the back with a dropkick!! Jay to the outside. Orange hits the ropes. SUICIDE DIVE from Orange! Soft kicks up the ramp send Jay crawling to the top. Orange rees up, waits for Jay to turn, but Jay just crawls all the way up the ring where the big Singh is waiting. Jay hits a right to the mid and sends him rolling down the ramp.
IN the back, we see Trent. He’s on top of Chuck’s shoulders! He’s wearing a trenchcoat! He points YOU to Singh! Lol. Here comes Sonjay to hold the big man back.
We head back to the ring, Orange with a diving crossbody, hits the ropes, DDT—NO!!! Dragon Screw from Jay. Orange rolls to the outside in pain. Jay heads out and attacks the leg with some stomps. Jay rolls in the ring, stops the count, then heads back out. He traps Orange’s leg between steps and apron. Stomps from Jay. He runs and dropkicks Orange’s leg into the post, looking to break the ankle.
WE are back to Orange favoring the leg badly. He readies for a Figure Four, but Ornage kicks him away. Jay stomps the leg, grabs it again, Orange kicks with the right a few times. Dropkick to the leg. Jay spins orange, Orange kicks him away. Jay rushes the corner, Orange moves, gets sent over the top, lands on his feet, sends Jay face first into the buckle. Orange heads to the top. Hard slap from Jay. Lethal climbs up, Dragon Screw from the top rope! Jay spins for the Figure Four! Orange rolls to the ropes and breaks it!!! Jay locks the head of Orange. Orange on the apron. Jay wants to bring him in the hard way, pulls, delayed, Orange turns this into a Stundog!!! Orange back up, looks for a DDT, backbreaker/flatliner from Jay! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jay grabs the leg, pulls him to the center. Jay to the top rope. Orange rolls away from the center, and Jay stands in frustration. Orange poses in the corner. Haha.
Jay hops off the top rope and runs into a drop toe hold, sending him into the buckle. Back elbow from Orange. OC to the top, slowly. Jay chops. Jay to the top, grabs the leg, Orange hits some right hands. Jay down to the mat. Orange to the top, he flies, DDT!!! Another DDT! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Orange drops the elbow drop. He calls for Orange Punch! Orange crumbles to the mat! His leg gave out! Jay is excited. He grabs Orange, locks the head, BUT ORANGE WITH A BEACH BREAK!!!! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!! Orange tries for another Orange Punch, but Jay clips the leg, locks in the Figur—NO!!! ROLLUP From Orange!! 1..2…NO!!!
Misses an Orange Punch, kick to the knee! LETHAL INJECTION! 1……2……..3!!!!
Winner: Jay Lethal
A surprise win, and I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed, but I know 100% it’s because I’m biased and love orange Cassidy with all of my heart. They’re giving Jay some love, so let’s see where it goes.
Total Rating: ****1/2
Match Time: 12:15
Sonjay on the mic, wants to give it up for Jay Lethal. He wants Jay’s thoughts on Wardlow.
Jay says Wardlow came out last week and stuck his nose in their business just to protect and defend his new friend OC. If Wardlow is listening, he may want to come out now because Jay is going to break Orange’s leg.
Jay heads over to Cassidy, and here come The Best Friends and……
WARDLOW!!!! Wardlow enters the ring as Chuck and Trent check on Orange. Sonjay and crew leave the ring. Dutt is still on the mic, saying this isn’t fair or opportune. Wardlow is fresh as a daisy, while Jay is sweatin up a storm. How bout this. Battle of the Belts III – Lethal vs Wardlow.
Wardlow welcomes us to Wardlow’s World and tells Jay it doesn’t matter when or where, he’s going to whoop that ass.
YOU KNOW IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BOOM!!!
Cole is here with Fish, O’Reilly, and The Young Bucks.
It’s Storytime with Adam Cole, bay bay! First of all, does it feel good to be back in the ring. More importantly, it feels great to be back in the ring with his friends. He does have some unfortunate news – he is still not medically cleared, BUT he has taken this time to process a lot of things. He thinks there are things they can work on. He is a great leader, and wants to figure out what to fix. They have great chemistry, they have talent, and they have loyalty, no matter what. He came to All Elite wrestling because of The Young Bucks. That is loyalty. He has traveled the globe with Fish and KOR. That is loyalty. Loyalty is power. Loyalty is everything, which brings him to the trios tournament.
Matt, Nick, says Cole, there is nothing more than he would love more than for Undisputed Elite to be the winners, but if Cole isn’t cleared, and KOR isn’t cleared, and Fish isn’t chosen as their third, then The Young Bucks cant do the tournament. He’s sorry, what he’s saying is they won’t be physically capable of doing the tournament.
Fish with a surprise sleeper on Nick! KOR clips the leg of Matt! Superkick from Coel to Matt! Cutler enters and Fish back elbows him in the face. Stomps from Cole on Matt as a kid cries in the crowd. Lol. Nice.
Fish traps Matt’s head in a chair. KOR hs Nick in a sleeper. Cole looks to drop the boom, but….
HERE COMES HANGMAN ADAM PAGE!!! Pipe in hand! He chases away Cole and Co! Hangman stands in the ring as The Bucks struggle to stand up. Hangman turns towards The Bucks, stares them down, and extends a hand to pull Matt up. Crowd is happy about it. Hangman leaves the ring as Nick and Matt talk it over.
Moxley is backstage for some promo time, and the crowd pops loud at the sight of him! Nice.
He says tonight, Jericho faces Yuta, and people are asking who he wants to win. Jon doesn’t care. This isn’t some non-answer. He doesn’t care. When the bell rings, he has no respect for anyone. He doesn’t care what day it is. When he’s ni the ring, he’s trying to hurt his opponent, break his face, split his head open, litter the canvas in teeth. He doesn’t care.
EARLIER TODAY, Christian Cage had a interview with Tony Schiavone that was interrupted with Jungle Boy speeding into the arena with his car. He tries to attack, but security holds Cage back. Cage demands he be arrested.
Match 2: Thunderstorm vs Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter
Britt and Rosa to start. Jamie is quick to enter, Storm enters as well, only for Hayter to send her out immediately.
IN the ring, Britt tries for a ubmission on Rosa, Rosa lifts Britt and drops her with a back suplex. Britt with the tag. Hayter in, dropkick from Rosa. Clothesline. Rosa hits the ropes, dropkick to the back, Rosa covers for 1.2..NO!!! Tag to Toni. Storm in with a kick. Another. Stomps in the corner. Tag to Rosa. Chop to Jamie. Rosa sends Jamie into the corner, tag to Storm. Whip to Rosa, into Jamie. Toni with an uppercut, Poetry in Motion from both! Toni tags in Rosa. Double suplex. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Back elbow from Rosa. Snapmare into a kick to the back, while Rosa stares directly at Britt. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Whip but Jamie distracts the ref and Britt grabs Rosa by the hair. She turns right into a punch from Rosa. Tag to Britt. Whip to Britt, and Britt sends Rosa face-first into the buckle. Double knees to the back. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
We are BACK FROM BREAK and Toni dives off the top rope with a crossbody to Hayter and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Britt pulls at the leg, Toni dives out with a tornado DDT to Britt! Damn. Rebel is nearby, Toni shoves her, heads to the top rope, Toni with a crossbody! She hits a sloppy Alabama Slam. Cover for 1.2…NO!!!Toni tags in Rosa. They double team Jamie again, but Jamie wont let them suplex her. She holds on tight and hits a double suplex of her own on Rosa and Toni! Tag to Britt. Rolling elbow to Rosa!!! Knee from Rosa, firemans, Death Valley Driver from Rosa! Tag to Toni! Toni to the top rope, Rosa holds the head of Britt, gets her to the shoudls. Rebel to the apron. Britt slinsk down hits some rights, Toni still no te top rope, Britt punches her after sending Rosa outside of the ring. Toni on the back of Britt, Britt holds on. Air Raid from the top rope!!! Tag to Jamie! She hits the ropes, huge clothesline. Britt off the ropes, STOMP to Storm! Jamie covers! 1..2….NO!!! ROSA OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A STOMP!!! Holy shit.
Rosa and Britt meet in the middle of the ring. Rosa with a slap, right hand, chop, Britt fires back, locks the head, the leg, Rosa escapes, right hand, looks for a Driver, Britt ducks out, Air Raid to Rosa!! She rushes Storm, Storm grabs the arm. DTT!!!! Back breaker from Jamie to Toni!! ALL FOUR WOMEN DOWN!!! The teams check on one another as the crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME! Toni grabs Britt, Rosa grabs Jamie. GERMAN TO BOTH!!!
Toni with a hip attack to Jamie, one from Rosa to Britt, Toni hits another to Britt, to Jamie, damn!!! Toni tries for another one, but Britt pulls Toni in the way!!! Jamie with a clothesline to Toni! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winners: Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter
Nicely done, ladies. I think they went in there and gave us exactly what we expected for the first 5 minutes, then said “Let’s turn it up a notch,” and turn it up, they did. Cool shit.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:02
A video package for Sammy and Tay, and their nuptials.
Backstage, Eddie cuts this package, says why are we hearing this? Sammy, congrats, no one cares. They care about Kingston getting his ass, though. He’s got a receipt comin. When Sammy is done with that, check ya mail and sign the contract.
Tazz clears up that he didn’t know anything about last week. From Hook accepting, to Hobbs turning, and Ricky’s challenge. He says that as of this moment, Team Taz is dead. He wishes nothing but the best to all of them. Hobbs, Starks, Hook, it’s done.
Here comes Powerhouse Hobbs and Taz says Hobbs best beware.
Match 3: Powerhouse Hobbs vs Ren Jones
Hobbs murders a man named Ren Jones and gets away with it.
Winner: Powerhouse Hobbs
RIP
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :52
Ricky’s music hits, and HERE HE COMES!!!
He rushes the ring, attacks Hobbs over and over, shoves the ref, hops up to punch Hobbs, and Hobbs hits him with a spinebuster!!!! Deeeeyum.
Miro gets a video package asking his God if he sent a visitor that’s been talking to him. It’s a package for him and Black. Nice.
Darby cuts a promo saying Brody needs him. He asked for this match, and this hand will be the last thing King sees before he shuts the lid on the coffin.
The hand says:
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
Before the match can start, Matt chases Cage around the ring then back in.
Match 4: Christian Cage vs Matt Hardy
Double leg takedown from Matt. He corners Cage with some shoulders. Right hnads from Matt. Matt rushes with another clothesline, but Cage hits him with a right then corners him and scratches the forehead. Uppercut from Cage. Matt with a right. Cage with a bunch of rights. Excalibur says these guys have fought over 200 times, but it wasn’t until July where Cage beat Matt one-on-one. Wow.
Matt shoves Cage off the top rope. Matt sends him into the barricade.
Back into the ring, Matt hits some DELETE headbutts. Matt calls fo the end, he turns towards Cage, grabs the legs, pulls up then powerbombs down! Nice. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cage rolls to the outside. Matt follows! He hits Cage with a right, another, another. Cage sends Matt into the steel steps!!!! He then runs with a knee, smashing Matt’s face into the steps!!!
We back, Cage escapes a Twist of Fate, kicks out of the corner, heads to the top rope, Matt up too and hits a back body drop to Cage sending him down hard! Matt dives with an elbow! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Cage goes for a Killswitch. Matt sends him to the apron, Cage ducks a right, pulls Matt back against the ropes, Cage to the top rope, he dives with a headbutt! Cage covers for 1..2..NO!!! Cage chokes Matt up on the 2nd rope. Matt up, Cage rushes him, Side Effect! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Matt and Cage to the outside! There’s a table nearby! Matt lays Cage out on the table! Matt to the apron!
Matt dives off with an elbow, but Cage moves!!! He sends Matt into the ring. KILLSWITCH! Cover! 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Christian Cage
Cage going against Matt really shows how much more crisp and in shape Cage is than Matt. A nice enough match to move things along.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 11:07
Cage grabs some chairs, and looks to smash Matt’s head in, but Lucha’s music hits. Cage is frightened. Jungle Boy rushes the ring from behind, and Cage hightails it out into the crowd.
Garcia is backstage with Tony. He says it wasn’t just a big win, but the biggest win in AEW history period. He submitted The American Drago. He is The Dragon Slayer. Whenever Bryan is ready to come back, he’ll slay the dragon again.
WE come back to the screaming voice of Ethan Page! Stokely behind him while he screams about us idiots wanting Orange Cassidy and CM Punk and Eddie Kingston, but we don’t have his back. Every week he isn’t on TV, this company is leaving money on the table.
Page turns to see Stokely, not realizing he’s there.
Stokely screams, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Stokely gives Page his card after whispering in Page’s ear, then leaves. Ethan puts the page in his pocket then leaves the ring and walks to the side of Stokely. They walk up the ramp together.
Backstage, Tony is with Mernard, Parker, and Jay. Menard’s nipples get hard knowing that one week from tonight, Jericho will be Le Champion.
Parker asks Tony if he’s getting smart. It’s time that we all appreciate them. They’re the greatest faction, and they just get better, like they did when they added Anna Jay.
She is the sexiest and toughest, and she doesn’t mind proving it. She promises to choke everyone out, including some nearby staff member. She then makes good on her promise. Lol.
The Gunn Club make their way out to the ring. The Acclaimed surprise Billy Gunn with a trash can shot to the hed, then give one to each of his sons.
Max asks for his music, because he’s got something to say.
“We make The Ass Boys retire like Vince McMahon.”
Oop.
Match 5: Dumpster Match
The Acclaimed vs The Gunn Club
I’m unsure when the official start is, but we’ll just say it starts here. Both Gunn boys try to suplex Bowens onto some trash cans, but he is able to suplex both of the boys on the mat outside. He sends Austin in the ring, follows and the bell rings. So there’s the official start.
Colton whips, reversed, kick to Bowens. He gets sent over to th apron, nearly alling into the dumpster. Colton with a punch, and Bowens hangs over the edge of the dumpster. Austin grabs the lid and closes it on Bowens over and over. Austin kicks Max away, then they double team Bowen and powerbomb him INTO the dumpster!!! Max has a chain on his hand and he punches Colton, but Austin hits a back body drop to Max, sending him into the dumpster! They both stand up out of it with cookie sheets and smack The Gunn Club in the head as we go to break!
We are back with Austin Gunn sending Anthony onto the trash cans below. He joins his brother, attacking Max up the ramp. There’s some plunder up there. Max fights back, but Gunn Club send him into the second dumpster at the top of the ramp. They graba table and set it up near the tunnel. COLT 45 at the top of the ramp to the incoming bowens!!! Austin calls for an elbow drop. He leaves into the tunnel as Colton. Austin is on the top of the entrance tunnel!!! Bowens moves out of the way! He clocks Colton with the garbage can! Bowens points towards Austin, and Max is behind him on the tunnel!!! Max grabs him by the head and sends him flying into the dumpster (that’s full of packaging peanuts). Bowens lays Austin on the table. Max on the top of the tunnel.
MIC DROP OFF THE TOP INTO THE TABLE!!! Bowens sends Austin in the dumpster, the they close the lids and win the match.
Winners: The Acclaimed
Well, it wasn’t pretty, but the crowd loves them, and The Acclaimed keep getting better.
Total Rating: **
Match Time:
They lock up the dumpster with zip ties then scissor.
The Acclaimed then push the dumpster off the stage, even though they have a little trouble doing so.
Guys, Len is at the show and sent me some pics!
Photo credit: Len Archibald
Claudio comes out to even the odds before our main event.
Match 6: Chris Jericho vs Wheeler Yuta
Jericho tries to punk Wheeler, but Yuta flicks his nose in retaliation. They go at it unti Jericho rolls to the outside. Yuta follows. He attacks Jericho forehead first against the barricade. Whip to the barricade, Yuta sends Jericho into the ring then hops on the apron. Parker holds the leg of Yuta. Yuta kicks him away as Claudio points it out. Aubrey sends both Parker and Menard to the back with gusto!
Claudio makes it a point to walk the two guys back up the ramp. Jericho rolls Yuta up! Yuta rolls through, kick to th face from Yuta! Whip, Yuta to the top rope! Jericho hits the ropes and Yuta gets crotched.
We come back to Yuta hitting a Manhattan Drop then an enziguri. Jericho up in the corner. Yuta runs with a clothesline and heads to the top. He flies! Right hand to the head!!! Kipup! They hit the ropes. CROSSBODY FROM BOTH!!! Both men up again, and they trade rights over and over!! GERMAN From YUTA! He holds on! ANOTHER GERMAN!!! YUTA WITH A THIRD!!! ANOTHER!!! He tries for one more, Jericho counters, steps through, goes for a Walls!!! Yuta escapes, sends Jericho to the outside! Suicide Dive! Another! ANOTHER!!!! Yuta to the top rope! He dives off with a crossbody! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Yuta to the top rope again!!! He dives off. CODEBREAKER!!!! COVER FROM JERICHO! 1…2….NO!!!Jericho drops the elbows like Yuta, but Yuta grabs the nose!!!! Jericho releases. Drop toe hold from Yuta!!! HE locks up the leg, goes for the neck, looking to make Jericho tap out!! It’s the Regal Stretch!!! Jericho grabs the bat! Aubrey sees, grabs the bat, looks to toss it out of the ring. LOW BLOW TO YUTA!!!! Judas Eff—NO!!!
Yuta escapes, flips through, seatboelt cover!! 1….2…..NO!!!!!!! Jericho rolls out, WALLS OF JERICHO!!! LIONTAMER!! Yuta taps out!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Jericho needed to win this, and ending it with The Liontamer was a nice touch. I’d hope that after this win from Moxley, we move away from Jericho. I know we are in a holding pattern till Punk returns, and Jericho is doing his damndest, but anyone else would be cool, too.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 12:35
Jericho will NOT RELEASE the hold!!!! Another ref comes down to stop him but Jericho wont let go until…..
Moxley’s music hits, and he’s on his way from the crowd!!!!
Jericho leaves the ring. He grabs a mic, tells Jon he just unleashed the demon. Next week, you want the last survivor of Stu Hart’s Dungeon? Lionheart Chris Jericho? You got it.
End Show
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