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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 4.1.24
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It’s part two of the Culver Review where Michael Ornelas waxes poetic in a dino jacket. It’s beautiful.
We’re here! The final RAW before Mania! Are you excited?! I’m excited!
After a recap from last week, we learn that Cody Rhodes is not medically cleared to be here tonight.
The lights go out, and when they come back on, it’s the electrifying blue of The Rock who stands solo at the top of the ramp.
“I made that boy bleed.” – The Rock.
He says he ran that boy’s head into that bus, splitting his head wide open, and there was blood all over his hands, and as promised, he took the blood and wiped it on that belt, and now the only thing missing is the tears of Momma Rhodes. The Rock is a man of his word, he whispered to Cody last week that he would make Cody bleed and that’s what he did. The Cody Crybabies did not like that. They were so upset that The Rock made their hero bleed. The Rock laughed this off, because these are grown ass men crying over the fact that he beat Cody like a dog. There were some reactions that The Rock say that stopped him in his tracks.
We see a social media post of a little girl crying, saying she’ll never watch Moana ever again. Another Tiktok shows a little girl crying with snot running down her face. Lol. Cute.
Stuff like that breaks The Rock’s heart. The Rock is a proud girl dad. So when he sees this, it breaks his heart. However…
To those mommies and daddies of these kids. Take these little kids, put them in front of the TV, because Uncle Rock is going to drop some gospel.
There are moments in life when a man has got to do what a man has got to do. Moments where people stick their nose in businesses that it doesn’t belong, where they talk shit when they shouldn’t, and that’s what Cody did. So there are moments when he’s gotta beat that punk ass down over and over and over again.
The Rock asks if we feel it. Right now, professional wrestling is cool. Ratings are up, tonight is the largest gate in the history of RAW ever, and it’s all because of The Rock.
He does the Finally thing, but lets us know that he didn’t come alone.
Here comes Roman Reigns.
He asks for acknowledgement then brings up his hoodie. Family above all. He wouldn’t come to RAW for no reason. He came here to acknowledge his family. Crowd lets out some Yeets. Reigns says No Yeet. If they keep it up, he’ll leave.
He apologizes to The Rock for the idiocy, as we are a distraction. He is trying to put his family over, so please shut our mouths.
He wants to take the opportunity to thank his cousin, because to be transparent, this will be the easiest Mania of his life. A tag team match? Come on…they’re going to smash those fools. Then it’s Bloodline rules on Sunday, and that means they’ll have their way with Cody. So thank you, cousin. But The Rock went above and beyond, and made that boy bleeeeed. He whooped Cody. Reigns didn’t need him to do it, but it felt good to see him do it. For that, thanks again. He put the family above all, and that sets the example. That’s how you lead. Cody aint fit for these shoes. He’s a politician, he’s lucky to be here. When they started making this thing cool again, Cody was off somewhere doing a whole lot of nothing. Then he saw Reigns and wanted to be a part of it. They allowed him in, but enough is enough. He cant be off the top of the mountain. Their family can’t have it. This is their mountain, they run this business, and on Sunday….
BURN IT DOWN!!!!!
Seth Rollins is in the crowd, acting all kinds of SHIELD like. Seth says there is no way he’s walking into that ambush. If they want him, they have to come on up here and fight the whole city of Brooklyn.
Last week, they crossed the line. The way he feels, the time for talk is over. He is ready for a fight, and he’s not talking about Mania. He wants a fight tonight. Tonight, biggest RAW of all time, biggest main event of all time. So, this is all here because of them? For all these people? How bout they put their money where their mouths are. Tonight, main event, it’s Seth Rollins vs The Rock.
Seth doesn’t think “ol DJ’s” got the balls. But his cousin may have grown a set. So if The Rock doesn’t want to fight, how about Roman Reigns? He’ll leave it up to them. Who wants to fight the real champ. Hell, name the stip. Seth doesn’t care. Who has the balls?
The Rock asks Seth if he didn’t see what he did to Cody last week? Cody’s got brain damage now! Seth doesn’t want none of that. Seth wont fight The Rock, he won’t fight Reigns either, boy. Seth is a tough, crazy SOB, but he aint fighting them. However, they have a plan.
Solo Sikoa grabs a mic. He says Seth ain’t fighting The Tribal Chief or The Final Boss tonight. He’s fighting Solo tonight.
Seth says Solo must have the biggest bag in The Bloodline. He’s on.
The Rock says tonight, it’s Solo vs Seth, but it’s Bloodline Rules.
Earlier today, Rhea Ripley was on Ariel Hiwani’s show. He brings up Becky and Becky Lynch actually calls Ariel to tell him that she is outside the building. She heads upstairs, shoves Rhea, telling her that she has Becky’s attention. Security comes up to stop Becky as Rhea taunts her, telling her if she wants to hit her, then hit her.
WE go live to Becky backstage with Kelley.
She says she’ll be out in the ring later if Rhea cares to answer the call.
#DIY and The New Day vs The Judgment Day
After the faces fly out of the ring onto The Judgment Day, Finn rolls into the ring with Gargano and we get the bell.
Tag to Dom and he enters for some suplexes. He tries for the trio, but only gets two as Gargano drops. Dom knees him, tag to Finn. Suplex from Gargano, he rolls ut of the way of an elbow drop, sends Dom outside, then gets hit with a clothesline. Tag to JD and tag to Ciampa. Ciampa attacks the corner, then chops JD into the corner, then the ropes. Whip to the ropes, Ciampa with a clothesline, one for Dom. Another in the corner to JD, to Dom. He goes back and forth hitting JD and Dom till Kofi gets a tag. Ciampa hits both men with a clothesline, kicks at Finn, turns and Priest hits a huge kick. Kofi flies from the top rope. He grabs JD, JD rolls him up for 1..2.NO!!! Kofi to the corner, Woods with a corner, kick from Kofi, Woods dives in with a DDT! Kofi flies off the top rope onto Finn outside. Woods with a fireman’s, off the shoulders into a powerslam from Woods. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Dom stops the pin. In comes Ciampa, drop toe hold to him, Dom hits the ropes, 61—no!!! Ciampa catches him! Gargano kicks him in the face! Suicide dive from Johnny to Dom! Ciampa checks on him as Woods kicks JD right in the gut. He locks the head, spins up, JD lands on his feet, hits the ropes, SPANISH FLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
Tag to Ciampa, tag to Priest! Ciampa with chops over and over, kick to Priest. Ciampa drops the pad, but Priest with a huge clothesline. Kofi flies. GOOZLE!! Kick to Gargano! SOUTH OF HEAVEN TO KOFI!!!
Priest grabs Ciampa, lifts up to the shoulders, tries for Razor’s Edge, hits it! COVER! 1..2…..3!!!
Winners: The Judgment Day
This was all to let you guys know that Priest ain’t the one, and it did that well.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:00
Solo is backstage. Behind him is Reigns, The Rock, and Heyman. Reigns says Solo has this on lock, he should get out of here. The Rock wonders where Reigns is going. Reigns says he’s gotta write the speech. Apparently, Reigns will be inducting Heyman into the Hall of Fame.
Heyman kisses TRhe Rock’s hand and leaves with Reigns.
We learn that Sami Zayn has asked Chad Gable for help to get ready for Gunther. We get footage of them at the PC at 7:50 AM. We get a training g montage with Sami showing noticeable sweat and grit while Gable coaches him on.
At one point, Sami hip tosses some people, then Gable blows the whistle. Sami is out of breath, and Gable walks up behind him to choke him out. Sami is pissed. He asks ehat the hell is that? Gable says the hunger is gone, he is trying to pull it out of Sami. What is holding him back? What is it?
Sami: “I AM AFRAID, OK?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?”
Sami talks about making his wife cry, seeing his kid cry the way Gable saw his daughter cry. Doesn’t he get that? Gable does. Sami knows this, but he still looked him in his eyes saying he cant beat Gunther. Gable says he was telling him what he needed to hear. Sami is at his best when people are doubting him. Let’s find that hunger and prove them wrong together.
Sami and Gable nod in unison, then we get the second half of the montage where Sami goes full on Rocky IV, covered in sweat and killing it with all the same workouts, including escaping Gable’s surprise chokehold.
Backstage, The Judgment Day are all happy. In come some friends of Dom, and Rhea and Priest are pissed saying he didn’t warn them they’d have company. Dom introduces the Legado Del Fantasma to the group, but they don’t seem to vibe too well.
Sami Zayn vs Bronson Reed
Sami and Bronson lock up in the middle of the ring, Reed muscles him away. Sami with forearms into the corner, Reed shoves him away, Sami locks up from behind, sends him inot the corenr ,chops, chops again, Reed reverses, Sami ducks under and hits more chops. Sami to the 2nd rope to mount for punches. Reed drops him, kick to Sami. Whip to Sami, ducks under, again, Sunset Flip attempt, Reed tries for a seateds senton, but Sami moves then rolls up for 1..2.>N!O!! Sami attacks the mid section, hits the ropes, Reed with a pounce. Reed grabs Sami by the head, locks him up against the ropes, big chop to Sami’s chest. Reed chops again, whip, Sami hops over, clotheslines Reed out of the ring. Sami hits the ropes, he flies over the top rope! Sami sends Reed into the ring, climbs the corner, tries for a crossbody, but Reed catches him! He sends Sami into the corner spine first, holds on, powerslam! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Reed runs into an elbow in the corner, Sami drops an elbow to the dome. Sami back ot the 2nd rope, another elbow to the top of the head, to the 2nd rope again, tris for a third, but Reed hits him with a Uranage! Elbow drop! Cover! 1.2…NO!!! Reed sits Sami on the top rope, big fist to the face, Reed climbs, gets Sami to the shoulders, Sami slinks down his body and tries for. Sunet FliP! He gets it! Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Reed up, kicks, Death Valley Driver to Sami! Cover! 1…2..NO!!!
We are BACK And Sami is hitting a tornado DDT to Reed and a cover for 1..2.NO!! Reed corners Sami, tries for a right, Sami grabs a hold, tries for an exploder, but Reed with a corkscrew suplex instead! Senton! Reed to the top rope! Sami up! Right forearm to the head. Sami climbs. Reed fights him away, headbutt to Sami sends him down hard. Reed to the top, he turns, TSUNA—NO!!! Sami rolls out of the way! Sami to the corner!
GUNTHER is shown at the top of the ramp with a knocked out Gable! He drags Gable out and tosses him down the ramp. Sami runs out of the ring and goes to check on Gable as Gunther leaves. BUT HE’S BACK! He kicks Sami in the face then grabs Sami and sends him into the stage nearby.
Winner: Sami Zayn via DQ
Good for what it was, and enough story to be told to allow the presumed DQ ending (the bell never sounded, officially, but I’m going to call it at 12:30 as a DQ).
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 12:30
Gunther continues the onslaught. HUGE Clothesline drops Sami to the ground. Gunther stands him up, hits a big chop. Another huge chop. Gunther mounts Sami and drops forearms then grabs Sami by the face and says the fun and games are over. BIG BOOT to Sami drops him down. Gunther with a chop, another. He grabs his title and holds it up high.
Sami kicks up, stomping his feet, trying to motivate himself to stand. Gunther cant believe it. He watches on as Sami struggles to his feet. He stands tall and proud. Gable stirs. Gunther runs and hits him with a title shot to the face.
Backstage, JEy Uso is walking and he runs into LIL FUCKING WAYNE!!! Jey daps him up, says if Weezy ain’t busy this weekend, come through to Mania. Wayne says he’ll be there with a brand new single.
Damage CTRL showed up earlier.
Indi Hartwell and Candice LeRae vs Ivy Nile and Maxxine Dupri
Ivy and Candice to start. LOCKUP. Candice runs to the ropes to break the hold. Tag to indi. Ivy with a wrist lock. She tosses Indi to the floor, kip up from Indi. Wrsit control by Ivy. She tags in Maxxine who climbs to th 2nd rope and dorps an axe off the 2nd rope. Indi with abody slam. She works the left arm, tags in Candice, who slams Maxxine down hard. She attacks the back with clubbing blows then grabs her by the head and sends Maxxine into the buckle. Kick to the chest, another, she trips Maxxine down and chokes her up with the boot. Candice locks the head in th center of the ring, hooks the leg, but Maxxine rolls Candice up for 1..2.NO!!! Right hand from Candice, then a beatdown over and over with hard rights and lefts. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Another cover for 1..2NO!! Chop from Candice. She misses a splash. Blind tag from Indi, she stops the tag, but gets kicked and in comes Ivy. Invy sends Candice off the apron. Kick, another, another to Indi. Rana to Indi. Ivy kicks, gets caught, spins, enziguri to Indi. Ivy runs to the corner and hits a huge kick to th chin. Ivy to the top rope! Indi up, gets kicked away.
Candice shoves Ivy off the top rope. Indi is up, they chat, Maxxine gets a tag, dropkick to Indi, who crashes into Candice. Rollup for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Maxxine and Ivy Nile
Maxxine still a little rough around the edges, but the story is progressing…sort of.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:35
After the match, Candice LeRae yells at Indi to be ashamed of herself, calling this embarrassing.
Backstage, Seth Rollins is contemplating his choices.
Jey Uso runs up to him to call him crazy. He tells Seth he has his back the way Seth had his back. Seth asks Jey to take a walk with him, and they do so.
Drew McIntyre gets a sick ass video package that starts with him in a funeral home looking at a casket. He turns to give a bit of a eulogy, apparently to CM Punk. He says Punk’s brittle and fragile body failed him like it did in the UFC. We are left with a thin-skinned guy who saw Jared Leto as The Joker and got excited. Drew says Seth deserves all the pain and suffering and misery. He’s begged Drew for it. He deserves to have the casket closed on his championship reign. He will take the broken down old workhorse out back and put him down.
Ricochet vs Ivar
They end up outside really quickly, with Ivar clipping the legs out from under Ricochet off a springboard just as we go to break.
We return with Ivar choking the life out of Ricochet. Ric axe handles out of it, but Ivar hits a knee, then tries for a back suplex, Ric lands on his feet, kick to the face. Ivar sits on the chest of Ric. Ivar with a Goozle, dragging Ricohet outside. Ivar sends Ric into the apron, then tries for another crossbody. Ric moves and rolls into the ring. Ric hits the ropes, flips over th top rope onto Ivar outside. Ric sends Ivar into the ring. He climbs to the top. 450 is missed, roll through, Ivar sends him to the apron, high kick from Ric. Springboard and a big lariat to Ivar. Standing shooting star! Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Ric tries to fireman Ivar, but cant do it. Spin kick is missed by Ivar, back elbow off the springboard, tries again, gets tossed overhead, big kick from Ivar, he double underhooks lifts up, powerbomb to Ricochet! Pin! 1..2…NO!!! Ivar tries for a bronco buster, but Ric moves, runs up Ivar, high knee, Ric hits the ropes, flies fro a crossbody, Ivar caches him, powerslam to Ric. Ivar hits the ropes, springboard crossbody to Ric flattens him! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!
Ivar to the top rope, DOOMSAULT! MISSED!!! Big splash in the corner, but Ric CATCHES IVAR!!! FALLAWAY SLAM TO IVAR!! WTF!!! Ricochet to the top rope! 630! COVER! 1…2….3!!
Winner: Ricochet
Good GOD DAMN! Amazing match! A hell of a sprint that nearly got gutted because of the break, but still ended up coming out the second end wonderfully executed.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 10:03
We are backstage where Priest and Dom are watching Ricochet. Why has Ric not been handled yet, asks Priest. Finn says he will handle him this Friday during the Andre the Giant Battle Royal of Epic Proportions Wherein Nobody Wins and the Points Don’t Matter!
Andrade walks in, asks Priest how he is. Dom introduces Andrade to Santos. He remembers them. Dom tells Andrade if he takes care of Ricochet, he can be a full member of their crew.
Andrade asks them if they need him. Dom says he WANTS him to.
Rhea steps up, says she is going to say hi to Becky.
Becky Lynch is here! I just finished her book last night, so expect a review by tomorrow!
Anyway, Becky is here and she is looking for a fight. She calls Rhea out, saying she can finish what she started earlier today. They’ve done all the talking that they need to do, so come on out and fight her.
Here comes Adam Pearce to get some boos. They are not doing this tonight. After what he saw earlier, he cant jeopardize one of the biggest matches, and calls out some security. Pearce tells her to wait till Mania. He is asking her to leave the ring.
BUT RHEA RIPLEY IS HERE! She takes her jacket off at the top of the ramp. Pearce tells her to save it. She says no, she isn’t saving anything. Rhea looks towards the ring, feigns backing up, then tosses her title at Pearce and runs through security to get to the ring where Becky is waiting.
They lock horns and go at it. Rhea hops onto Becky, security comes in to stop her, and we get the pull apart I love so well. Becky makes short work of secutiy then dives off the buckle onto a crowd below including Rhea. More security come to break up the girls.
Damage CTRL is backstage and Dakota Kai wants to remind us all that they are champions. They will prove to Naomi, Jade, Bianca, and Bayley that they are the future. But for now, they want to see if anyone can prove them wrong.
After the break, we come back to Rhea and Becky continuing their tussle backstage as security and Pearce try to stop it all. Dom comes by and Pearce yells, “Control your Mami!”
Lol.
Damage CTRL vs Shayna Baszler, Zoey Stark, and Tegan Nox
We got Dakota, Asuka, and Kairi sending Shayna and Zoey off the apron then attacking Tegan with ease. A tag gets Asuka and Kairi in to double team Tegan with move after move. Asuka covers and gets 1..2.NO!!! Asuka tags in Sane. A tag to Dakota, and we get an attempt at a triple dropkick but in comes Shayna and Zoey to hit germans, along with Tegan for a total of three! Kicks send all of Damage CTRL away then fly outside. Zoey from the top rope, dives off onto everyone.
We are back and Sane is marching around, calling for an elbow, but Shayna blocks it with a kick. Tag to zoey, who hits a right hand, another to Asuka,one more for Sane. She, in the corner, flies over Asuka, ducks under a kick, locks the waist, GERMAN TO ASUKA!!! Right from Zoey, another, whip to the corner, shoulder from Zoey, to the top rope, Zoey flies with a dropkick to Sane! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! We are sticking with this one camera man and angle for quite a while. Tag to Kai! Tag to Tegan! Right, another, big chokeslam from Tegan, Headbutt! Damn, rocked Dakota. A huge knee to Kai, running knee. Tegan runs with a cannonball to Dakota! Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Asuka stops the pin. In comes Shayna to lock on he Clutch to Asuka. Sane grabs her leg, Shayna turns into a kick form Asuka, Zoey into kick her, Sane in to send Zoey outside, turns, Zoey to the apron, high kick to Sane. Zoey springboards, and Dakota is there to kick her in the chin! Tegan rolls her up. 1..2.NO!!! Dakota misses a right hand, running uppercut from Nox. She tries for the senton again, but Kai moves, runs with a kick.
Tag to ASuka. Tag to Sane. Sane with the elbow!!! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Damage CTRL
We knew what this match was about, and they did wht they had to do here. The commercial gutted any potential quality, but we didn’t necessariy need us a three star match here.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:35
Backstage, Seth Rollins goes all West Wing with Cathy Kelley and does a walk and talk. I’d ask that they never show Cathy’s full frame again, because I have no idea what Seth said…
Seth Rollins vs Solo Sikoa
Seth attacks before Solo can even enter the ring. Seth attacks Solo all around the ring, hitting chops and right shots to the dome. Solo fights back, trying to get his own few hits in. Crowd wants tables immediately. Seth continues to beat down Solo until he gets whipped towards the steps. Seth stops himself, grabs Solo and sends him into the steps. Seth kicks, lokcs the head up, tries for a Pedigree, but Solo escapes and lifts up, sending Seth into the edge of the apron. Solo grabs the head, slams Seth onto the table, again, this time he sends Seth into the timekeeper’s area. Seth grabs Solo, pulls his arm down onto the barricade, then grabs a chair and tosses it into Solo’s face, another chair, another chair, the fourth one dorps Solo to the mat! Seth heads over, grabs a chair, and attacks the mid section then slaps the back hard. Seth sits the chair down and hits a DDT onto it! Seth heads to the apron, lifts up the skirt, and grabs a table! The crowd is hyped and the table gets it own chant.
Seth sets the table up in the ring. Solo is in the ring, attacks, gets a fireman’s. Seth elbows out of it, superkick to Solo! Solo staggers. Another kick, and Solo falls to the table, draped over it. Seth to the top rope, Solo stands up, slaps Seth, climbs the corner. Heabutt to Rollins. He gets Rollins on his shoulders. SAMOAN DROP THROUGH THE TABLE TO SETH ROLLINS!!!
We are BACK and Solo is sending Seth into the steps by his head. A right hand to the dome. Solo backs up and runs for a hip attack, but Seth moves and Solo crashes against the steps. Seth stands, walks to the steps and removes the top one. He claps Solo in the face! Solo is down! Seth goes for another table. He pulls it out, shoots it into the ring. Seth rolls into the ring, sets the table up, and Solo is just now stirring. Seth grabs Solo by the head, tries to suplex him into the ring, but Solo stops him. He front suplexes Seth then enters the ring. Solo sees the table and grabs Seth, headbutt! He sits Seth up top. Right hand from Solo. Solo tries for another Samoan Drop, Seth knees out slides down the back and tries for a Sunset Flip! He has Solo set up! HE TOSSES SOLO THROUGH THE TABLE! STOMP!!!!!
Here comes Jimmy Uso! He superkicks Seth!
Jey Uso is here! They meet at the bottom of the ramp! They fight back up the ramp, giving right hands and YEETs galore!
They head backstage, and Jey comes flying out by himself!
The Rock is the culprit! He tosses Jey into the stage a few times then heads down the ramp cussing.
The Rock enters the ring, Seth is on the mat, staring up at The Rock. The Rock slow walks towards Seth. Seth smiles.
Cody Rhodes is HERE!!! His forehead is bandaged, but he is here! He runs int othe ring and corners Rock with punch after punch after punch! A final one to the dome! Cody leaves the ring and clears the announce table. The Rock pulls himself up. Seth and Cody grab The Rock and lay into him, then drop him onto the table. Cody lifts The Rock up and the crowd is HOT! Cody sets up for The Rock Bottom.
BUT HERE IS ROMAN REIGNS!! He pulls Cody’s boot, and Seth attacks Reigns! Reigns sends Seth into the post. The Rock hits Cody with a few rights. Reigns turns, grabs Cody, and sends him into the post.
CM PUNK chant! Lol.
The Rock sends Seth into the ring. Reigns with a SUPERMAN PUNCH!! The Rock has Rhodes. He sends him into the ring next. SPEAR TO CODY!!!
The Rock and Reigns stand over the fallen opponents and talk shit. Reigns says this is it, this is everything. Reigns and Rock clap hands and hug under the Mania sign.
Reigns looks at his watch, and The Rock reveals that he has a weight lifting belt on. He turns to Cody and whoops THAT BOY SOMETHIN FIERCE! One for Seth! He hands the belt to Reigns who attacks Set,h then Cody, then Seth, then Cody. Rock gets on his hands and knees to talk some shit to Seth then stands and walks over to Cody. Seth tries to fight back but Rock grabs th belt and he smacks Seth across the back. Again!
Reigns orders Solo to grab Cody by the hands as he hangs over the 2nd rope. The Rock rips his shirt off and grabs the belt. HE WHOOPS THE SHIT OUT OF CODY! Again!
ROCKY SUCKS chant.
Winner: Solo Sikoa
I can’t really say where this match ended, but I’ll call it at 18:15 when he Rock and Reigns hold up some belts to the crowd.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 19:07
End Show
Before we go off air, The Rock smacks Cody one more time. Haha.