British Optimism: WCW Thunder (1.15.98)

WCW Thunder January 8th 1998

We open with clips of DDP’s cheesy challenge to Lex Luger on Monday Nitro. “It’s going to be very stormy, the Thunder clouds are gonna roll in” etc. The hidden highlight is hearing an unknown fan shout “Hey buck 25, sit down!” to someone.

We still have the prototype opening, and we’re in Lakeland, Florida this week. Our hosts are Tenay, Heenan and Marshall. Heenan sadly no-sells the “WEASEL” chants.

Monday Nitro clips, this time featuring The Giant and his lawyer demand Kevin Nash put up a $1 million bond so he actually shows up for his PPV match this time. nWo’s lawyer agrees, but only if The Giant puts up $1.5 million…oh, and he’s not allowed to put his hands on Nash until the PPV. The Giant agrees, and Nash immediately antagonises him.

On Thunder, The Giant waddles to the ring for his interview. He sounds sedated. Lodi nonsensically shows up and gets choke slammed. The rest of the Flock run in and play Putty Patrol as Giant demolishes them one by one. Hammer gets knocked over the guard-rail (taking a fan with him), and Giant press slams Kidman out of the ring onto him. Nash enters and hurls coffee all over Giant. Giant walks away and Nash follows, prodding him all the way to the adverts.

When we return, there’s more clips from Nitro and MORE DISSENTION IN THE NWO. Dillon fined Savage $5,000 for hitting Bischoff. Wait…Dillon CAN fine nWo members? So what, he only sees certain interference? To further emphasise Dillon’s uselessness, Savage later elbow dropped Rick Steiner to give The Outsiders the Tag Titles because he was irate at being fined. Savage then shoved Nash afterwards, despite helping him regain the belts. Despite causing a belt change, Dillon didn’t fine Savage. In short, the nWo is falling apart but they’re still beating WCW because they’re not THAT bad.

Black Cat, Ohara and Gedo vs. The Steiners and Ray Traylor
Black Cat’s outfit is at the Johnny B. Badd level of absurd.

We are informed that DDP has been mugged. He may not make it to tonight’s main event tag match with Luger vs. Savage and Nash. Just tape it up, it worked for his ribs. Black Cat works Traylor’s legs to start but Traylor counters with his nondescript offence. Rick comes in and dominates Ohara. After the break, Rick double-clotheslines Gedo and Ohara. Scott comes in like a house of fire and Belly to Belly Suplexes Black Cat, T-Bone Suplexes and Oklahoma Slams Ohara. The commentators ram home the ‘Scott is selfish’ storyline, as he refuses tags and Butterfly Suplexes Gedo. Scott declines the Steiner Bulldog and decides to Steiner Screwdriver Gedo for the win.

Winner: The Steiners and Traylor **

I don’t see how Scott was being selfish when he was WINNING. WCW sadly again looks like a bunch of moaning, useless old biddies. They win matches and they still grumble. Match was fine

Yuji Nagata (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. Ernest Miller
Sonny Onoo is apparently negotiating with KISS. Oh, so he’s to blame. This is pre-personality Cat and he thrust-kicks Nagata for a 2-count immediately following the bell. Nagata Overhead Belly-To-Belly Suplexes The Cat so hard we our first satellite disruption. When we come back, Nagata hits a really bad looking piledriver. That was 0.7 on the Brian Adams scale. Miller continues with his leg related offence until he clotheslines Nagata so hard the front row stands up. Feliner off the top rope gets the pin and a surprisingly positive reaction from the crowd. Onoo tries to attack Miller afterwards, but Miller tells him to sod off.

Winner: Ernest Miller *1/4

Miller managed to get ‘Martial Arts Wrestler’ over with the crowd, which is even more impressive when you consider Glacier debuted last year.

Dillon is on the mic with Schiavone. His mic goes off mid-way, but he doesn’t fine it. DDP hops out on a crutch and says he doesn’t care about his injury he’s wrestling, dammit.

Scott Hall comes out wearing both the Tag Team Title and the fake Tag Team title. Sadly, Shawn Micheals doesn’t come out and claim to the real Tag Team champion. WCW wins the survey, but Hall declares it a win for the bad guys and the commentators splutter over it. Hall interviews Louie Spicolli (who apparently teleported to the ring) and Spiccoli fawns all over him. Zbyszko comes out and tries to save Spiccoli’s soul. Hall challenges Zbyszko here and now but Spicolli nails him after he takes his jacket off. For fuck’s sake Larry. Zbyszko redeems himself by clearing the ring of the two, and they run to lick their wounds. Stupid, horrible rushed segment.

Clips of Mongo pinning Jericho from Monday Nitro. Yes, that’s right…MONGO PINNED JERICHO. Jericho apologised again for losing, but later attacked Rey Mysterio. Now this is definitely going to be one of the highlights of all these Thunders: Watching the evolution of ‘Lionheart’ Jericho. He’s just becoming interesting at this point. Back on Thunder, Jericho He claims Rey said undignified remarks under his breath when he was in the ring, so he had to attack him, being a “paragon of virtue” and all. Fabulous.

Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero
Jericho offers a handshake, but misses the sneak clothesline. Eddie facescrapes Jericho, but the crowd doesn’t seem that behind him. Various fast-paced reversals result in Jericho Gorilla Press Slamming (!) Eddie on the top rope. Eddie with stiff chops and a rope-assisted Abdominal Stretch. Eddie with a surfboard, an “ASK HIM!” and a botched Gory Special. More fast-paced counters result in Jericho turning Eddie’s Hurricanrana into a Lion Tamer for the win.

Winner: Chris Jericho **

Sadly this was very throwaway considering the two participants. Jericho gets the Cruiserweight Champion at Souled Out.

We are shown clips of the Neidhart/Flair confrontation from Monday Nitro but the weather storm strikes again and we have no visuals and muffled sound for a while. When we resume, the sound is still muffled and Flair hits Neidhart with the BRASS KNUCKS . He then applies the figure four leglock around the ringpost, which was the perfect move for this feud as it may be Flair’s move but Bret’s used it around the ring-post for years. Hart comes running and they brawl. Another great segment in WCW’s best feud.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Disco Inferno
Disco is crazy over, as evidenced by the pop he gets and the constant crowd shots of people doing the Travolta. “Look Chavo, no-one came to see you wrestle, they came to see me dance!” Huge pop. “First off Disco, you can’t dance”. Loud boos for Chavo! The visuals stop again. The sound goes muffled again but it’s obvious Disco is more over than Eddie. Goldberg apparently appears and does stuff. If I was to take a stab in the dark I’d guess it involved a spear and maybe a jackhammer.

Historyofwwe.com says that Goldberg beat Chavo via DQ. So there you go.

When we come back from adverts, the picture and sound is back but we get clips of Dillon from last week. Guess you can’t have everything. I hadn’t realised a fan nearly ruins Sting’s first moment on the mic by throwing a shirt on him. Even the fans hated WCW.

Hogan and Bischoff come out and we again get feed issues (take a shot). It’s only Hogan playing air guitar, so let’s fast forward.

WCW Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs Juventud Guerrera
This match was on the Mysterio ‘Biggest Little Man’ DVD. Lucha libre exchanges to start and Mysterio topes through Juvi. Rey tries a springboard sunset flip, but Juvi hurls him out the ring and tries to kill himself by pulling off Air Juvi and landing head-first onto Rey. Back in the ring, Juvi springboard legdrops for a 2. Juvi manages a Muscle Buster for another 2 count. The match has reached a “methodical” pace as Juvi brainbusters for another 2. A quick chinlock and spinning heel kick and we get another 2. They duel on the apron and Rey monkey flips Juvi into the ring-post. Juvi recovers though and hits a crazy springboard leg-drop to the outside. Juvi is wrestling as a heel, but the crowd is reluctant to treat him as such. Maybe his moves are too spectacular to boo. Springboard dropkick for yet another near-fall. Rey finally turns the tide by kicking Juvi when he’s running, thus causing him to run and land on his neck in that stupid fucking spot that Mexican Wrestlers are prone to busting out. Juvi throws Rey into the turnbuckle and takes the time to demonstrate the tongue move from Scarface to someone in the crowd. Could have been male or female knowing Guerrera. Juvi goes for an avalanche, but Rey moves out of the way (as they’re told to take it home) and makes the comeback via a Kid Krusher for a quick near-fall. Multiple pin attempts are countered and tried, with Juvi attempting a powerbomb but Rey lands on him and both men are down. Crowd weakly gets behind Rey, but the pops are increasing. Juvi blocks the tornado DDT but Rey counters the superplex into a front superplex but Juvi counters the Top Rope Hurricanrana into a powerbomb. Juvi attempts the 450 but Rey hits the Pinning Hurricanrana for the pin and his third Cruiserweight title!

Winner and NEW WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio ***

Much better than last week’s cruiserweight match, as they were given enough time to tell a story and let the match develop. Shame the outcome was never in doubt after being shown Jericho’s attack on Rey earlier. And the point of Juvi’s title win was…?

Clips of Savage’s attack on Luger as the commentators remind us that they’re feuding. DDP made the save (by showing up after Savage left and asking Luger if he was OK) setting up tonight’s main event…

‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage and Kevin Nash (w. Elizabeth and ‘Hollywood’ Hogan) vs. Lex Luger and ‘Diamond’ Dallas Page
Nash and Savage arrive one after the other and argue when in the ring. After a Souled Out ’98 advert, we return to the Thunder Screen of Death. By the time we return, DDP has wobbled out and Luger has told him to get stuffed. DDP ignores him and Hogan attacks him with his crutch as Tenay bellows “Hogan must know about DDP’s leg!” Savage tosses Luger and follows with a top rope axe handle to the outside to start. Booming “We Want Sting!” chants. Savage fakes tagging to Nash and continues his assault on Luger. Nash has enough and tosses Savage as Luger schoolboys Nash. Savage and Hogan argue and we get more feed issues. Nash pretends to tag Savage but elbows him instead. Savage goes to top rope axe-handle Nash, but Luger decides to make his clothesline Comeback. Before he gets to rack Savage, Hogan comes in takes it. Then Nash gets racked too! I haven’t seen that before. Savage axe-handles Luger (BUT WAS HE AIMING FOR NASH???). Savage holds Luger for Hogan to kick him, but like every time that’s happened apart from when Mabel held Nash for Bulldog, Luger moves and hits Savage. The Giant waddles out as the nWo argues and Hogan gloriously turns around oh so slowly to get chokeslammed (which we then fucking miss thanks to DAS SATELLIT BESCHICKUNG).

When we return all of the nWo are attacking The Giant as the match is thrown out. Luger and Giant team up and HERE COMES STING as everyone plays Putty Patrol (apart from Tenzan who hilariously tries to kick Sting) and the nWo leg it as the WCW stalwarts pose in the ring.

Winner: Lex Luger and ‘Diamond’ Dallas Page *

The match was just a backdrop to the nWo storyline, but the bickering and chaos was entertaining. The match loses a lot of points elsewhere though. Luger looked great demolishing the nWo, but he insisted on wrestling a handicap match and they only mean something if the handicapped guy wins. DDP looked like a fucking moron and neither of them could beat the nWo clean when the other team WAS ATTACKING ONE ANOTHER. You could understand it if they were building to a big PPV pay-off, but they just had their biggest PPV ever and the nWo won most of the matches!

The 411: Well it only took a week for Thunder to turn into the Nitro recap show plus one exciting match. Or, if you prefer, WCW Thursday Night. The Mysterio/Guerrera match was fun but everything else was just …there.
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]