wrestling / Columns

Building The Ultimate Bash at the Beach Card: A Puzzle Game

August 5, 2019 | Posted by Robert Leighty Jr.
New World Order nWo Bash at the Beach Hulk Hogan

Building The Ultimate Bash at the Beach Card: A Puzzle Game

-SummerSlam is in a few weeks and I am going to be working on that card next, but I wanted to get back into the WCW shows first. Since we are in the middle of the summer, what better PPV than Beach at the Bash. WCW’s summer show started in 1994, but I am going to cheat a little and include the 92 and 93 shows that went under the Beach Blast name. That way I get a 9 match card instead of 7.

-For those unaware, the idea for this game came from an article I saw nearly 20 years ago floating online that built the Ultimate WrestleMania Card. The rules are that you pick one match from each year’s card without using a wrestler more than once. You also have to have every title that was defended in the history of the show, defended at least once. Someone commented on my last column about Extreme Rules that I should just pick the best match on each card, but obviously that would go against the rules of the show as you would see guys like Flair, Michaels, Angle, etc appear more than once. The titles that have to appear on this card are: WCW World, NWA World, United States, Television, Cruiserweight, WCW Tag Team, and Hardcore.

1992: WCW Tag Titles: The Steiner Brothers (c) vs. Terry Gordy and Steve Williams (30:00)

-This is a tremendous show with 2 classics that I could have chosen, but I opted to use this match for my Tag Title pick. The match of the show was Sting and Cactus Jack tearing each other apart in a forgotten classic that Foley called the best match of his career until the Mind Games match with Michaels. The other classic was The US Title Iron Man match with Rude and Steamboat. I had Sting saved for something much bigger and I wanted to get a different US Title match. That left me with a couple options from this show and getting The Steiners involved was an easy choice. This match is very good, but didn’t hit that great level that most expected. The time limit draw was kind of a cop-out too, but it’s still two great teams beating on each other for Tag Gold.

1993: NWA World Title: Barry Windham (c) vs. Ric Flair (11:15)

-An easy one here as this was the only time the NWA Title was defended in the history of this PPV. It also helps that it features two of the best ever, but sadly, the match is nothing compared to what they were capable of doing. This was just after Flair returned from his WWF run and they immediately put a World Title on him, though the NWA Title didn’t mean as much as this point. With this match being a lock there was nothing else to look at, and really nothing else on the card screams must have.

1994: United States Title: Steve Austin (c) vs. Ricky Steamboat (20:06)

-Here is where I wanted my US Title Match as it gets Steve Austin on the card and it’s a match against Steamboat. This show is remembered for Hogan/Flair finally facing off on PPV after only getting a few house show matches in the WWF. That is one my favorite matches every and normally I would be all over that match, but Flair had to be used last show and Hogan was being saved for something much better. It all works out though as Steamboat/Austin is a really good match where Austin shows all kinds of jerk heel personality as he was in his groove after the Hollywood Blondes run.

1995: WCW Television Title: Renegade (c) vs. Paul Orndorff (6:12)

-For every one of this columns, I have found that a little crap always shows up. In this case I had to burn my TV Title spot here, but they all can’t be great choices. Renegade was a complete flop as he had to live up to The Ultimate Warrior and was a cheap knock off the fans saw right through immediately. He was also pushed above his level and tragically things ended with him taking his life. The show has a decent cage match for the WCW Title with Hogan and Vader, but again, Hogan has something much better coming. Other than that there wasn’t much else interesting to look at on the show, but the fact they held it on a beach makes for a sweet atmosphere.

1996: Sting, Randy Savage, Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Hulk Hogan (16:55)

-When I got the idea for doing this PPV, this was the first match I knew I wanted to use. This is of course one of the most famous moments in wrestling history and the actual match gets lost in the post match angle. The match itself is a good tag match with The Outsiders and Sting/Savage using the tried and tag formula. Luger getting bounced was a way to get things to 2 on 2 where the heels could conceivable take on 2 of the biggest stars ever and put the idea that Luger could be the 3rd man in everyone’s mind. What we had was Sting taking a beating like only he can and getting great sympathy before the hot tag to crazy man, Randy Savage. Then the magic as Hogan comes out and the nWo is born. I’ve seen this countless times and it still is just as awesome as when it first happened. Nothing else was going to get picked from this show, but I will give a shout-out to one of best openers ever with Rey Mysterio and Psychosis tearing the house down on a big time stage for the first time.

1997: WCW Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho (c) vs. The Ultimo Drago (12:55)

-The CW division was one the best things about WCW and I was happy I was able to work in a match between two of the division’s top stars. The match is pretty good as you would expect and you can’t say WCW didn’t give the guys in the division time. The rest of the show has nothing too exciting or featured matches with guys I had pegged elsewhere. Using the 6 man from 1996 eliminated a ton of Main Event stars from this era in WCW, but I stand by my choice.

1998: WCW World Title: Goldberg (c) vs. Curt Hennig (3:50)

-There are certainly better WCW Title matches in the history of this show, but getting Goldberg on here was something I couldn’t pass up. He was fresh off running through Hogan and becoming one of the biggest stars in the World (right behind or even with Austin depending on who you ask) and it made sense for him to run through another nWo member. This was every Goldberg match ever and that’s okay as that’s what everyone wanted. Hennig was great in being a pinball and taking his SQUASH like a champ. Other options were using Booker T and Hart for my TV Title match, but it sucked sadly, and I prefer this Goldberg squash. The same can be said for the CW Title match with Jericho and Rey as it also was way below what you would expect, but Rey was making his return from an injury so that could be forgiven.

1999: Boxing Match: Roddy Piper vs. Buff Bagwell (6:36)

-This show is just not very good at all and with all the Title matches taken I was left looking for anything intriguing and this at least has Roddy Piper for star power. The match could have been fun in an entertaining crap way, but sadly it’s just a bad match with Judy Bagwell and Flair getting involved. The pulled punches were bad with knockdowns coming off shots that missed by a mile and comedy spots that weren’t funny. Again, they could have had fun with this and sadly it didn’t happen. The only worthwhile match on the card is the Tag Title match with Benoit and Saturn against The Jersey Triad, but I liked using the Steiner tag match from earlier better.

2000: WCW Hardcore Title: Big Vito (c) vs. Norman Smiley (5:56)

-So our card comes to an end with another locked in selection as this is the first and only defense of the Hardcore Title in the show’s history. The previous year had a Junkyard Invitational which I swore crowned the first champion, but I guess not according to the title’s history. Norman Smiley made chicken salad out of his Hardcore Title run much like R Truth is doing with the 24/7 title today. This show is of course remembered for the Hogan/Jarrett/Russo angle that ended up going to court because pro wrestling. That lead to Booker winning his first WCW Title later in the night and it looked like WCW was rebuilding for the future. Sadly, the company was out of business in 8 months, but we can watch all these shows on the WWE Network now.

-This puzzle was the easiest one to put together of the 5 or so that I’ve done so far. The total match time clocks in at 1:47:45 which means you can blast through these matches in short order. Overall I am satisfied with the card as match of the card goes to Steamboat/Austin with the Tag Title and CW Title delivering good matches as well. You also have one of the most historic matches and moments in history so this card worked out well. Even the crap is relatively short. Next time we tackle the beast that is going to be The Ultimate SummerSlam card. I can already sense headaches coming from that one much like I got with The WrestleMania card. As always, thanks for reading.