Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 8.29.18

Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 8.29.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Jake Strong defeated Drago @ 4:55 via submission [*½]
– No Mas Match: XO Lishus defeated Jack Evans @ 11:20 via No Mas [**½]

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– We open with the usual high quality catch us up video package.

– Mundo & Crew prepare for the big wedding, in some lovely lime green suits. They have a surprise for Mundo, “JOEY WRESTLING!” It’s Joey Mercury. Ricky Mundo has been reduced to ring boy and his air guitar taken away. Ricky and his creepy doll have a conversation.

– Famous B is still ring announcing while Melissa is away.

Jake Strong vs. Drago: Strong looks to overpower Drago to begin. Strong now lays in knee strikes, and follows with a belly to back suplex. Drago picks up the pace, well ties to, but Strong chop blocks him. He starts working the knee of Drago, and then they work up to. Strong catches the high cross, but Drago hits a DDT to counter. He follows with kicks and covers for 2. Strong dumps him to the floor, and then tosses him into the crowd. Strong follows him into the crowd, and then takes it back into the ring. The Vader splash and ankle lock follow and Drago taps. Jake Strong defeated Drago @ 4:55 via submission [*½] This was very bland and not good at all. Strong lumbering around attempting to keep pace with skilled luchas is laughable, and despite his push, he continues to look completely unmotivated everywhere I see him work.

– Post match, AeroStar saves Drago.

No Mas Match: XO Lishus vs. Jack Evans: XO Lishus defeated Jack in his debut match, which is where their issues started. Jack claims to be the father of modern lucha and s he monologues, XO Lishus attacks and takes the fight to the floor and beats down Jack. XO Lishus follows with a head scissors on the floor. Jack cuts off XO Lishus, and hits a 450 from the apron to the floor. He takes control and repeatedly slams XO Lishus to the announce table, but XO Lishus battles back with a blockbuster. They brawl to the steps and jack chokes out XO Lishus with a chain and tries to get him to quit. XO Lishus refuses. XO Lishus hits a Finlay roll and double kneed moonsault. Jack fights back, slams XO Lishus into the chairs and climbs the ladder and flies off with a senton attack. XO Lishus refuses to quit and tells Jack “Fuck you!” Ivelisse arrives for reasons and Jack takes her out. Back in the ring and XO Lishus hits a dropkick. XO Lishus then lays in kicks, and rolls into a crossface. Evans counters into an ankle lock, but XO Lishus refuses to quit and escapes. XO Lishus hits the back handspring bitch slap and into a head scissors. XO Lishus transitions into a spiked RANA but Jack locks in an omoplata. XO Lishus escapes with stomps, and looks for an arm bar, but Jack powers out and heads to the floor. He gets a chair and lays out XO Lishus with it. Jack then lays XO Lishus on the chair and threatens to snap XO Lishus’ neck, heads up top, but Joey Ryan arrives to make the save. Jack shoves him away as Ivelisse pulls XO Lishus to the floor. XO Lishus back in and locks on an arm bar. Jack quits. XO Lishus defeated Jack Evans @ 11:20 via No Mas [**½] This was ok at best, the stipulation match itself was rushed, and the win does nothing for XO Lishus as he needed two others to help him beat Evans. This didn’t come off very well and disappointed.

– Post match, Ryan helps XO Lishus to his feet and celebrates with XO Lishus and Ivelisse.

– Mundo and his boys prepare for the wedding as Jack crawls backstage. Ricky wants to take his place and they all yell at him. Johnny calls Black and Mercury his best friends, angering Ricky, and the doll tells Ricky to do the job she told him to do.

The wedding of Johnny Mundo and Taya: Famous B, in his wheelchair, is officiating the wedding. Johnny, Black, and Mercury arrive to Mundo’s theme music. Cheerleader Melissa (not Mariposa) and Brenda are the bride’s maids. We see Ricky and his creepy doll free Matanza from his cage. Back to he wedding and we’re underway. Famous B is spectacularly over the top as he asks if anyone has any objections to the wedding of these fine ass people. Antonio Cueto arrives and says that he likes the couple. He has a gift for them, and says to ring the bell. He has tacos for everyone wheeled out. He congratulates the happy couple. Taya tells Mundo she loves him more than fluffy puppies and decapitating creepy snake men, and together they can never lose. He’ll always he the champion of her heart. Tonight, they will put the slam in Slamtown. Mundo says that he never thought he’d meet someone as tan, ripped, and cool as he is until he met her. He loves her more than his own reflection. This is now the best day of his life, and he can’t wait to buy a house in Slamtown and begin their life together. They agree to take each other in matrimony until death do they part. Ricky and the creepy doll arrive with the rings. Famous B makes fun of the doll and dismisses him. Mundo then tells him to leave and to not make this awkward. They take their vows, and are pronounced… MATANZA IS HERE AND STARTS WRECKING EVERYONE! he even slams famous B while still in his wheelchair. He then chokeslams Black through the taco table since it’s not taco Tuesday. Taya is busted open as Mundo tries to fight him off, but Matanza suplexes him from the ring and to the floor and through a taco table. Taya fires up and attacks Matanza, but he hits wrath of the gods on her as Ricky celebrates. Matanza then slams her onto the wedding cake. Like all pro wrestling weddings, this went off without issue! But seriously, this was good, over the top fun, with everyone playing their roles well and was easily the best thing on the show.

– End Scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.5

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

This week’s episode of Lucha Underground was an overall let down and a one-note episode, which was the wedding. If you’re cherry picking, skip to that and forget the rest.