Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 9.08.16

TNA Impact Review 9.08.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Jade and Gail Kim defeated Allie and Sienna @ 4:39 via pin [*]
– Grand Championship Tournament Match: Drew Galloway defeated Braxton Sutter @ 0:36 of round three via submission [***¼]
– Eli Drake defeated Jessie Godderz @ 2:12 of round two via pin [***]
– DELETE OR DECAY: The Broken Hardys defeated Decay @ 11:41 [Extraordinaire]

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– Senor Benjamin reads a special warning; this shit is not for the weak of heart. Vanguard1 also tells us that no animals were harmed in the filming.

– We then get a spectacular video package of Senor Benjamin preparing the battlefield… for burial as he digs graves. Matt has brought us here so that they can get in touch with their primal side.

Mike Bennett & Maria Talk: Mike, clearly wearing a pair of Maria’s capris, is pissed off because Moose turned n him and stopped listening to him after he brought him in. Bennett said he was paying Moose, and that he sent Moose a strongly worded text and fired him. He plans to win the world title and no one can stop him. Dixie Carter then arrives and asks if he is done talking because the fans want to see wrestling. Bennett rambled on about becoming champion and said no one can do anything about it. Dixie says that she made a decision; she just signed Moose to a TNA contract, and announces Moose vs. Bennett for Bound For Glory. Moose hit the ring, tried to attack Bennett but Maria caused enough of a distraction to allow Bennett to bail. The good news is that they set up a match for Bound For Glory. The bad news is that we had to sit through another lack luster Mike Bennett promo to get to it. Bennett is “fine,” but he doesn’t come across as a main event star to me, which is what TNA is trying to sell him as. He’s had the time given to him by the company, a lot of TV time, but he’s just a guy.

– Post break, Mike and Maria are still talking backstage. Bennett refuses to face Moose, and Dixie says if he doesn’t he’ll be in breach of contract and be fired. Dixie then ran down Maria, and sis she is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she is the champion. Next week they will determine Maria’s Bound For Glory opponent. It’s cut that they are pretending that it will be anyone other that Gail Kim after the horrible long angle with Maria they have been running.

Jade and Gail Kim vs. Allie and Sienna: Sienna wasn’t pleased with Allie even before the match because Allie is popular and wanted to shake hands and give out high fives. Allie tried to take on Kim, but did poorly so Sienna yelled at her and tagged in. She barely caught Kim on a high cross and hit a sloppy suplex or slam. The crowd chanted for Allie, she wanted to help but Sienna shoved her down and kept working over Kim. Sienna teased aging in Allie, hit a Samoan drop on Kim and covered for 2. Kim scored with the desperation neck breaker and tagged in Jade. Jade ran wild; hit a RANA and then the running boot. Allie tagged in and then accidentally hit Sienna. Sienna then hit the silencer on Allie, and Jade covered for the win. The match wasn’t very good at all, but it was more of an angle to continue making Allie the sympathetic figure. Sienna left her in the ring and Jade and Kim checked on her.

– Borash talks with Rock and Roll Billy, and he says that his announcement will change TNA and wrestling.

Broken Hardy Training: We are back at the Hardy compound with Matt, Nero, Reby, Maxel and Benjamin. Matt has collected animals with special souls, and he reveals a giraffe, who has the soul of George Washington. Matt speaks with George Washington, and then sets a sparring match with Nero and “Smoking Joe Fraiser,” who is a kangaroo. We then see monkeys, who have no souls, but are names after the X-Division spot monkeys and the Young Bucks. Matt calls Nero a recovering spot monkey. There is a tiger named Genghis Khan, who warns Matt that Decay are on the way to do battle. Amazing.

Rock and Roll Billy Has an Announcement: Rock and Roll Billy is in the ring and says the KOTM title is retired and in its place the TNA Grand Championship will replace it. Drew Galloway interrupts and says that if Rock and Roll Billy wants a new and innovative champion, he is looking for Galloway because he is the only choice. Rock and Roll Billy says this not about politics. We get a video, explaining the three minute rounds, judged on a 10-point must system, you can win via pin or submission, and if they go all three rounds, judges will decide a winner, which will be crowded at Bound For Glory. Galloway says using him to his potential is best for business. Aron Rex then arrives and says this is about the fans and not about Galloway. Rock and Roll Billy says that they have business, and it will be done at another time. Rex will debut in tournament match, but Galloway is up first. I appreciate then trying something new and am more than willing to give them a chance, but the segment was oddly edited and came off rushed. Considering that they had plenty of time to edit this, I hoped it would have come off better. The rounds system is not easily done well, you have to have the right guys working the system and style well. I like the different concept, but the execution will be key.

Grand Championship Tournament Match: Drew Galloway vs. Braxton Sutter: Round One: There are unidentified judges around the ring. Sutter tried to hit and move, Galloway cut him off and started to toss him around with suplexes. Galloway controlled with ease, chopping the hell out of Sutter. This was complete domination from Galloway, who should easily take the round and does 30-27. ROUND TWO: Galloway in the attack right away and dominated the first minute until Sutter stunned him off the ropes. Sutter then hit a superplex and scored a near fall. Galloway cut him off but Sutter took him down and worked strikes and then followed with kicks. The snap slam scored a near fall. They slugged it out with Sutter getting the advantage as the round ended. Sutter took round two 29-28. ROUND THREE: Sutter attacked early, trying to keep the momentum, but Galloway caught him with a stuff piledriver an then scored with the iron maiden and Sutter tapped. That was an overall good match and a good way to introduce the new rules for the title. It gives the guys a sense of urgency, and certainly makes the matches feel different. Also, for a guy like Sutter who has been stuck in 3-4-minute matches where he gets to show nothing, I felt it came off good here against an established name. The scoring system pens things up down the line for split decisions, which can allow evenly booked matches that lead to a natural rematch.

– During the break, Spud attacked Sutter and tried to get revenge for Sutter busting his teeth. Spud is an angry little man.

– We see a dud leaving a liquor store and then driving away. He sees Rosemary walking in the middle of the road, and stops to see if she needs help. He hit son her, which is a mistake, because Steve and Abyss arrived and beat him down, pulled his pants down (don’t ask me) and stole his truck to drive to the Hardy compound.

EC3 and Lashley Walk Into a Press Conference: We go to footage of the press conference from earlier today, where they promoted EC3 vs. Lashley at Bound for Glory. Rock and Roll Billy promises big things for TNA, and promises that Lashley vs. EC3 will be one for the ages. He says people will look back on this main event as something special. EC3 puts over Lashley as the most dominant TNA champion of all time, but also says he is a bully and a coward. EC3 says they have been building to this ever since the UK when Lashley took out Angle, but he is coming to fight at Bound For Glory. Lashley says his company is under fire, from different companies, sports and little MMA guys that run their mouths. Lashley does what he does to eliminate the weak, and they need to get out of this business. He eliminates the weak, and will defend the company as the world champion because he is the man that can do that job. EC3 says that he’s the guy that you call when you need to kick Lashley’s ass, and he is coming at Lashley with everything he has. He promises to become the three-time world champion at Bound For Glory. Lashley finds this amusing, and says he’s a fighter. Lashley took out Angle, Storm, DJ Z, Galloway, Edwards; he beat and broke them all and will do the same to EC3. Lashley said to hype up and dance for EC3 all you wan, but he will train and he will be an even bigger and badder fighter than ever. He will beat his ass worse than anyone has ever before, and will leave as the champion. He will make everyone a believer. They did the stand off and EC3 shot the bird at Lashley and that led to a brawl. The brawl was a bit weak (not bad), but the promo stuff from both guys was very good and on point. No bullshit, just the two best guys fighting over the title to prove who is the best as the biggest show of the year. For as good as EC3 was, Lashley was absolutely fantastic as the badass that gave absolutely no fucks.

– We get a good video package on Jessie Godderz.

Grand Championship Tournament Match: Eli Drake vs. Jessie Godderz: ROUND ONE:They did a lot f mat wrestling, with Godderz controlling early. Drake fought off the Adonis lock, but Godderz fired back with a dropkick and forearm strike for the near fall. Really solid chain wrestling from these two, and I like that not only are they working out of their comfort zone, but that they are doing well so far. Godderz took the round 29-28. ROUND TWO: Drake came out aggressively, connecting with strikes and then getting the near fall off of the float over DDT. Drake kept control, looking for pins but then took the time to celebrate and ate a springboard clothesline. Godderz fired up and ran wild, Drake fought off the Adonis lock again, but Godderz then got it with 10-seconds to go and survived. Godderz took round 2 29-28. ROUND THREE: Drake needs a finish here, and comes out aggressively. That’s a benefit of this style, the desperation of a man down 2-0 with the open scoring needing to go for it all to finish. Godderz fought back, scoring with a great toss for a near fall and keeping the pressure on. Drake pulled Godderz throat first into the ropes and scored with blunt force trauma to pick up the win. This was another good outing, and I liked how Drake sold the desperation of needing to finish to win. So far the matches have come off well and also given guys that normally work short and average matches more urgency, which has improved their match quality so far. I like it.

– We get a commercial for Tyrus, the Fixer, he apparently still works for the company.

– Aron Rex kicks trashcans and comments on his issues with Galloway. He faces Trevor Lee next week in a tournament match, and Mahabali Shera faces Eddie Edwards in the other tournament match.

Final Deletion II: Extraordinaire Boogaloo: The Decay vs. The Broken Hardys: So here it is, the sequel to the Final Deletion. Decay arrive as Senor Benjamin digs their graves. Decay makes their way through the woods in a scene out of a horror movie, and arrives at Matt’s house. They wave to Maxel as Rosemary contemplates eating a spider. “DECAY… I KNEW YOU’D COME!” My God the Hardy clan are chasing them with fireworks and Decay is running for their lives. Matt orders Reby to protect Maxel as Decay hide under the dilapidated boat. Abyss orders Rosemary to go to the house to get Maxel as Nero dropkicks the boat. JOSEPH PARK emerges from the water; he’s looking for his brother Abyss, you know, Chris. Senor Benjamin tases him and drives him away in a Bobcat as Steve and Nero brawl by a firepot. They did a suplex spot into the pool and continued to fight under water. Matt searched for Rosemary as Benjamin tries to bury Park. Nero looked to drown Steve, but he popped out of the water Jason style and pulled Nero back in, Benjamin buried Park, but then Abyss rose from the grave and attacked. Steve tried to rip Nero’s eyes out as STEVE REGENERATED HIS FACE PAINT. Matt found rosemary, but Abyss arrived and attacked with Janice as Rosemary went after Maxel. Nero took the Janice shot for Matt as the sad obsolete music played. Vanguard1 then made the save and attacked with weaponry! The field ignited in fire, surrounding Steve and Abyss, but Rosemary had taken out Reby and had Maxel. Vanguard1 tried to stop her, but she MISTED him and sent him offline. Maxel has escaped and Matt arrived, she misted Matt, but he sucked it in and then misted Rosemary back! Maxel them walked to Matt as she and Matt stood triumphant. Decay escaped as Benjamin and Nero were still down. They had a ton to live up to after Final Deletion, but this was equally as entertaining in a different way. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and just hope that Vanguard1 can be saved.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

8.0

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

This week’s Impact was a strong rebound from last week, with the EC3/Lashley press conference, Grand Championship launch and Delete or Decay being the strong points of the show. I really enjoyed this week’s show, it had strong build to Bound for Glory and was simply a fun watch. TNA is daring to be different (The Grand Championship and Hardy stuff) and I appreciate that.