Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 03.12.18

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 03.12.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Sasha Banks defeated Sonya Deville @ 7:33 via submission [**]
– Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins @ 14:20 via pin [***]
– Asuka defeated Mickie James @ 6:35 via submission [***]
– Nia Jax defeated Joan King @ 0:47 via pin [NR]
– #1 Contender’s Tag Team Battle Royal: BRAUN @ 10:58 [**½]

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Kurt Angle Talks: Angle hypes the mania match against Mr. & Mrs. Stephanie McMahon. He also hypes Lesnar vs. Reigns, but Brock won’t be here tonight. This brings out Reigns, who isn’t surprised that Brock isn’t here. He runs down Brock for his lack of respect. Reigns wants to know what the ramifications will be, and then says that Brock is Vince’s boy. Reigns then says the problem is Vince, the same man who didn’t tell him what the deal was. He busts his ass for Vince and his company, and refuses to be disrespected by Vince. Reigns heads to gorilla position and wants answers, Vince wants to talk is his office and they go to commercial.

“Pew pew pew”

We see Reigns leaving Vince’s office. No comment from him. Vince then says Brock is his own man, and didn’t mean to disrespect Reigns but needs him to know his role and shut his mouth. Vince also says Brock has certain privileges, but Brock will be on Raw next week and will compete at Mania. Vince has also temporarily suspended Reigns.

I think that they are going to overuse the “shoot” aspect of this, but I thought that the execution (angle’s reactions and the chaos of going to gorilla) played well. Unfortunately, their plan to babyface Roman as the hardworking, always here, man of the people (by having him run down Brock for things the fans run him down for) is failing as he’s still largely getting booed and the crowd popped for “his suspension.” Also, when you think about it, WWE scripting Brock to not show up so Reigns of all people can accuse Brock of being Vince’s boy is next level trolling

Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville: Deville is flanked by Absolution, Bayley is reluctantly making her way out with Banks. Banks takes early control, and dumps Deville to the floor. Post break, and Deville has the action grounded. Banks powers to her feet with Deville on her back and slams her to the corner to escape. Deville cuts her off and hits thee running knee for 2. Deville lays in corner shoulder blocks and then misses the charge. Banks fights back and hits meteora. Rose with the distraction, Bayley takes her out and Banks scores the win with the Banks statement. Sasha Banks defeated Sonya Deville @ 7:33 via submission [**] I like that Bayley was out there, paying back banks for saving her last week, and then once that was done, she said fuck it and bailed. The match itself was largely ok, but far from exciting.

– Bayley doesn’t give a fuck and bails post match. Absolution kicks the shit out of banks to stand tall.

– Kid Rock is going into the WWEW Hall of Fame.

MIZ TV w/Rollins & Balor: Miz is actually out by himself. He brings out Rollins & Balor. Miz tries to stir up shit with Rollins & Balor, noting that they’re WWE’s workhorses and could have burned it down at Mania. Rollins says they aren’t stupid, and that Miz has to deal with the fact that it’s a triple threat. Miz makes bingo hall references at Balor, and reminds us he beat Rollins to become universal champion. Balor isn’t buying this bullshit either. Miz say she isn’t the bad guy here, the crowd disagrees. Miz continues to try and stir the pot, but Rollins says they are already fired up for the match. Rollins says he will win and take the IC Title, and that Balor doesn’t stand a chance. Balor disagrees. Balor then says they don’t have to wait and wants a match tonight. Miz is happy with himself, but Balor & Rollins realize whet he’s done and attack, dumping him to he floor. Rollins lays out Balor and bails. This was a good and fun segment, with Miz being a manipulative bastard.

That feeling when your plan was working…
But then, it kind of backfired….
But THEN, it started working again! #RAW @mikethemiz pic.twitter.com/Qm2xowFA5d

— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) March 13, 2018

Champions The Bar vs. Dallas & Axel: The challengers attack before the bell and send the champions to the floor. Everyone brawls now as the Revival hit the ring and attack. The Good Brothers join in, causing the champions to bail until Titus Worldwide as well as Slater & Rhyno arrive and attack. Cesaro & Sheamus run away. Please, not another multi-man match at Mania. But it looks like a tag team invitational, with possibly a new team debuting.

Sad Free Agent John Cena Talks: For a guy with no road to WrestleMania, Cena looks rather happy. He claims he found his road, but admits he failed multiple times on both brands. He makes no excuses, and just wants to contribute to Mania. The crowd chants for Taker as Cena says that he’s not contributing to Mania this year. Are you too good for the Andre John? He isn’t quitting or walking away, he will be there, but as a fan. He’s going to be fired up just like us and then shares a beer with a fan. He tries to start a this is awesome chant and then jokingly tries a lets go Roman chant, they didn’t bite on that one. He then leads a “let’s go Cena, Cena sucks” chant since they can’t do it or him at Mania. He says he’s going to do something he’s not supposed to do, but what’s the worst that can happen? He challenges Undertaker again. That gets a big pop. He was told the match was impossible, but doesn’t understand why. If WWE didn’t like it, he’d be suspended like Reigns. He repeatedly makes the challenge. He jokes that the mic is still on and he’s still here. He then claims that Undertaker is the one that doesn’t want it. He tells Taker to get over his own ego, because when he fails, he still goes to work. We hen Taker fails, he hides in shame and embarrassment. “You are not too old, not too broken-down and not too fragile.” (highly debatable) If you were, you wouldn’t be posting workout vids on your wife’s Instagram. Cena asks if the fans want to see Taker kick his ass and tombstone him at Mania. They do. Cena wants Taker to get over himself and try it. Cena will either go as a fan, or will face Taker and make history. “The ball is in your court deadman. If I were you, I would want one more match.” This was a great promo segment. I love when Cena gets all wild and fired up. In many ways I think that the match is way too late and that a lot can go wrong with it, but this was a great, fired up and passionate promo from Cena here.

– Sheamus & Cesaro complain to Angle about their beat down. Angle says they got what they asked for by calling out all of the tag teams. Sheamus & Cesaro say that they heard rumors of a superstar shakeup after Mania and want traded to Smackdown. Angle refuses them and says there will be a Raw tag team battle royal tonight to determine their opponents at Mania.

– We get highlights of Braun killing poor Elias last week.

– Elias is here to perform, wearing a neck brace. He then stops and says “this is all your fault,” and leaves.

– Braun cuts a promo and gets the words on the screen promo. He’s pissed about not having a Mania match, but promises to carve his own path,

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins: We get some basic back and forth to begin as Miz watches on from the back. They pick up the pace, and Rollins takes control with strikes in the corner. He follows with chops, but Balor fights back with a dropkick. He dumps Rollins to the floor and hits the apron PK. Post break, and Rollins has the action grounded. Balor battles to his feet, but Rollins cuts him off and works him over on the apron. The running knee strike follows, and the cover gets 2. Rollins again grounds things, but Balor fires back with rights, but gets slammed to the buckles. Balor now connects with clotheslines, chops follow and Rollins heads up top but gets cut off. Balor hits the final cut for 2. Rollins counters back with a knee strike, they trade and Balor hits a PELE and both men are down. Balor avoids the double stomp and get a roll up for 2. Sling blade follows, but Rollins hits a superkick for 2. Rollins charges in with forearm strikes, but Balor counters back with an enziguri, Balor up top and Rollins cuts him off. He follows him up, Balor fights him off, but Rollins runs backup, superplex, but Balor rolls him before Rollins could do the deal and picks up the win. Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins @ 14:20 via pin [***] This was a good back and forth match, with a good finish, showing that Balor has Rollins scouted.

– They announce the Fabulous Moohlah Memorial Battle Royal for WrestleMania. The revisionist history for the video package was amazing.

The legacy of The #FabulousMoolah will be honored in the first-ever Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal at #WrestleMania 34! pic.twitter.com/tSXl2VoimY

— WWE (@WWE) March 13, 2018

– We get a big video package for the Angle & Rousey vs. Triple H & Stephanie match.

Asuka Time: She’ll be on Smackdown tomorrow, since she’s facing Charlotte at Mania. Charles is in the ring to interview Asuka. We see footage from Fastlane, where Asuka challenged Charlotte. Alexa Bliss interrupts along with Mickie James. Bliss makes fun of Asuka and her “poor English.” Bliss says that Asuka is fierce, and smart. Bliss James mock the streak, and say that she was smart not to face Bliss (even though Asuka beat Bliss on raw already). Bliss says she redefined the role of champion, and Asuka knows she would lose at Mania. Bliss says Asuka is smart for backing off of a fight that she can’t win. Asuka says she chose Charlotte because to be the women, you got to beat the woman. She wants to face the best champion in WWE. Bliss says there must be a language barrier, and that Asuka chose the weaker champion. Asuka says she beat Bliss and will beat her again right now. Bliss says that Asuka will face “this woman,” but no one appears. Mickie attacks and takes Asuka down, she and Bliss laugh at her.

Asuka vs. Mickie James: JIP as James is in control and covers for 2. Asuka fires up with strikes and an ass attack. She follows with kicks, and James powders to the floor. Asuka attack with a sliding apron kick, and follows to the floor. James tries to run into the crowd, but Asuka catches her and posts her. Asuka looks for kicks, but James moves and ends up kicking the post. Asuka beats the count, but James attacks the leg right away. Asuka counters out of the DDT onto the Asuka lock, but James counters into a cradle for 2. They trade strikes to Rusev Day chants, Asuka hits an ass attack and pop up knee strike for 2. James takes out the knee, and hits the flapjack. James up top now, Asuka cuts her off and follows her up and they battle for position. James hits a sunset bomb for a good near fall. CM Punk chants now as they are having a good match. Asuka counters the Mick kick and gets the Asuka lock, and James has to tap. Asuka defeated Mickie James @ 6:35 via submission [***] This was a good match, with a creative post spot to allow James to take the heat believably, and from there everything played out well and the match was good and fun. It’s unfortunate that the crowd decided to shit on it.

– Nia is backstage and Bliss confronts her about not coming out to help. Nia says Kurt told her to not come out. Bliss says she did this all to help Nia, and she loves her. They hug. Bliss will apparently face Asuka next week, and wants Nia to be in her corner.

Nia Jax vs. Joan King: King is terrified and begs off but Jax immediately attacks and the beating has begun. Jax hits an elbow drop, Samoan drop and wins. Nia Jax defeated Joan King @ 0:47 via pin [NR] SQUASH

– Next up on Mean Girls, the camera catches Mickie & Alexa burying Jax backstage, and it pops up on the screen and Jax sees it. Alexa admits to using Jax to get ahead, and says Jax is happy carrying her bags. Bliss says she has Jax in the palm of her hand. “She’s just as dumb as she is big.” Bliss says they will use Jax next week, and If Jax doesn’t play along, they will beat her down. Charles arrives and informs them that since an interview was scheduled, that the mics and camera were on and that everyone heard everything. Jax is sad and then gets pissed and runs to the back. IT’s MURDER TIME. Mickie & Alexa run away before Nia can kill them. Nia throws a fit backstage, tossing bags around and screaming. Well that’s the follow up from last week, setting the stage for Nia vs. Alexa at Mania.

– We get a video package on the upcoming Ultimate Deletion, which is next week, and Matt whole army will be there, including Senor Benjamin & Vanguard1. Bray then cuts a promo, calling matt a liar and a fool. He claims Matt made a poor decision, and gladly accepts the invitation for Ultimate Deletion.

– Kurt Angle is completely confused by all of this. He meets with a ref and assigns him to officiate the match.

#1 Contender’s Tag Team Battle Royal: The Good Brothers, The Revival, Titus Worldwide, Slater & Rhyno, Dallas & Axel are all involved. The Bar is out to watch. BRAUN arrives and is seemingly entering himself into the match. BRAUN tosses Apollo. BRAUN tosses Slater. The Revival tosses Rhyno as the rest try to toss BRAUN. They all back of. Post break, and everyone attacks BRAUN, but he does the roar spot. The rest slam BRAUN to the steps after he went through the ropes. They toss the steps into him, and finally take him down. Titus now runs wild, tossing bodies around. The Miztourage cuts him off, but The Revival attacks and they get tossed. Titus fires up, but BRAUN is back and tosses him. Gallows attacks, but BRAUN tosses him. BRAUN powerslam the Miztourage and tosses Axel and then Dallas. Anderson’s left, hits a superkick but BRAUN cuts him off and hurls him over the top onto the pile of bodies. BRAUN @ 10:58 [**½] This was a perfectly solid battle royal, with BRAUN killing people and doing BRAUN things to get onto the Mania card. Bring up Lars as Braun’s “little brother” and have them run wild for months.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

~GLORIOUS~

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

While there wasn’t a lot of wrestling tonight, we did get two matches, some set up for next week, and a strong focus on the build to WrestleMania; it was a perfectly solid show overall.