Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 11.26.18

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 11.26.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Lashley defeated Elias @ 13:58 via pin [DUD]
– Lucha House Party defeated The Revival @ 2:25 via pin [NR]
– Raw Tag Team Title Match: Champions AOP defeated Roode & Gable @ 8:30 via pin [DUD]
– Ember Moon defeated Alicia Fox @ 1:50 via pin [NR]
– Jinder Mahal defeated No Way Jose @ 4:30 via pin [*]
– WWE IC Title Open Challenge Match: Champion Seth Rollins defeated Dolph Ziggler @ 20:45 via pin [***]
– Baron Corbin defeated Finn Balor @ 13:30 via pin [**]

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– You can check out my top 49 matches of OCTOBER list at this link.

Corbin & His Merry Band of Assholes Kick Off The Show.: Lio, Lashley, and Drew are with him. Corbin runs down the fans, praises how great a GM he’s been. They share their thanks, including the savage beating they gave Braun last week. They show the footage of them “shattering” Braun’s elbow. Corbin sent a camera crew to see Braun being prepped for surgery. Braun shows off his bruised and battered elbow, and wishes he was at Raw to get revenge. His doctor has never seen an injury this bad or an arm this big. He plans to return 100% and give the men that hurt him these hands. Corbin says Braun won’t be cleared for TLC, and when he doesn’t show up, he’ll win via forfeit. You’re either with Corbin or against him. Elias arrives and says that these idiots in the ring need to understand that WWE stands for Walk With Elias. Elias then says anyone would be a better GM than Corbin. I get that it was follow up to last week, but it felt really lazy and filled with the cheapest of heats. Also, they are working extra hard to make Elias sound like a geek, stop it. Add in that Vince learned the term “beta male” over the holidays and it wasn’t good.

Lashley vs. Elias: Lio, Corbin & Drew are at ringside. They lock up, Elias lays in chops, but Lashley quickly cuts him off and works him over in the corner and then covers for 2. Lashley easily grounds things, Elias quickly fires back and dumps Lashley. Back in and Lashley quickly stuns Elias off the ropes and takes control back. Lashley tries to ground things again, but Elias fires up and hits John Woooooooooo. He gets dumped, Drew distracts him, allowing Lashley to slam him to the post. Post break, and Elias is fighting back and laying in rights on Lashley. The knee strike follows, Elias heads up top and the elbow drop connects but Lio pulls out the ref for the DQ… nope, Corbin now says this is no DQ. Lashley attacks, hits a corner spear and poses. Elias battles back, Corbin pulls him to the floor and Elias fights off the heels, gets his guitar, and Corbin makes the save. Lashley destroys the guitar and Corbin hits Elias with chair shots. They beat down Elias, claymore by Drew, and he pummels Elias with strikes. Drew Alabama slams Elias on the steps; Lashley takes a lap and spears Elias. Back in and Lashley poses and covers for the win. Lashley defeated Elias @ 13:58 via pin [DUD] If you like complete bullshit and Baron Corbin, this match was for you. I can’t think of anyone in wrestling I hate watching more than Corbin right now. Please, get Drew away from Corbin as soon as possible.

– Corbin fires a production assistant for turning off the lights for Elias. He meets with Bliss, and she says he’s doing an amazing job and is here to help. Corbin puts her in charge of the women’s division (so she’s Karen Jarrett now, ruling through knockout law). She’s going to screw him over and take the GM job.

– We get highlights of the Rollins vs. Ambrose feud.

– We now get video of Ambrose with his personal physician. He’s getting a check up and isn’t at Raw tonight. He knows Seth is happy and that’s why he’s doing his open challenge tonight. He mocks the fans, and gets a flu & rabies shot. There is nothing that can wash away Seth’s sins and no medicine that can heal him. At TLC, he will put Seth out of his misery. Corey tries to ask Renee about Dean’s state of mind and she has no answer.

Lucha House Party vs. The Revival: The Revival rightfully discuss the bullshit and unfair rules of last week’s handicap match. But still, it’s lucha house rules 3 on 2 match. Dash and Metalik in to begin, Metalik takes control and tags in Dorado and the luchas work triple teams. Dawson cuts off Kalisto, and Dash works a Gory special. Kalisto fights back, falls down and the luchas work triple teams again and the shooting star press finishes Dawson. Lucha House Party defeated The Revival @ 2:25 via pin [NR] Again, the Luchas, with the unfair advantage, are the faces, while the hard-working guys who just want to wrestle under fair rules are the heels? The action was ok while it lasted, but it completely lacks in any logic.

– They hype Lars Sullivan as the hottest free agent in wrestling.

– Nia Jax & Tamina arrive. Jax claims that the Raw women are thankful for her. Jax is thankful for breaking Becky’s face. She says The Man is no match for the facebreaker, and she took her match with Rousey away. Jax claims that Rousey’s been in a tailspin ever since they faced at MITB. She then shows Charlotte kicking the shit out of Rousey at Survivor Series. Jax continually mocks Rousey, but it feels like she’s doing a really poor Alexa Bliss impersonation and constantly has no mention Becky to get the littlest reaction. She just keeps talking. Jax claims that she’s been nothing but great and that she’s the top of the mountain. Rousey arrives and says that Jax did with the battle royal, and praises her punching power, and changed things with that one punch. But Jax’s luck is about to run out and at TLC, she’ll rip her arm off and slap Charlotte with it. But since she’s eager to fight and Rousey is ready, she offers Jax a shot right here and now. Jax declines, noting that she could beat her right now, and stalls. Tamina looks to attack, but Natalya arrives and is instantly jumped by the Riott Squad. Rousey makes the save. Please stop having Nia talk, she’s really bad and also gave Rousey nothing good to play off of; Rousey’s material was, in all fairness bad and her make up made it look like she had an eye infection. If the goal was to make me not want to see the TLC match, it was accomplished.

– Time to make fun of Drake Maverick for pissing his pants at Survivor Series.

Champions AOP vs. Roode & Gable: Maverick plays with Roode’s robe, Roode fights off Akem and Gable hits a missile dropkick. Rezrar tags in but Gable gets the hanging arm bar, and then he and Roode look for double teams, but Rezar counters as Maverick plays some more with Roode’s robe. Post break, and AOP have the heat on Gable. Rezar tags in and Gable hits a DDT. Roode gets the tag, lays in chops, and dropkicks to both. Akem catches the high cross and hits a fall away slam, Rezar back in and Roode cuts him off as Maverick is backstage and in the bathroom with Roode’s robe. He puts it in the shitter and pisses on it. AOP runs Roode into Gable and finish him with the neck breaker/powerbomb combo. Champions AOP defeated Roode & Gable @ 8:30 via pin [DUD] Just when you think they can’t do anything more to make me care less about a match, they give us this. There was absolutely nothing positive to take away from this.

– Bliss meets with Bayley & Banks, and offers them an open forum tonight.

– Curt Hawkins is replacing Brain Strowman on Mixed Match Challenge.

Ember Moon vs. Alicia Fox: Hawkins, the Singhs, & Mahal are at ringside. Fox hits a big boot and covers for 2. The neck breaker follows for 2. Fox grounds things, as she’s already out of ideas. She locks on a sleeper, Moon escapes, and lays in strikes. The tornado suplex follows and the eclipse finishes it. Ember Moon defeated Alicia Fox @ 1:50 via pin [NR] Technically a match.

– Post match, No Way Jose, and the conga line arrive to celebrate.

No Way Jose vs. Jinder Mahal: Mahal attacks at the bell, laying in strikes and kicks on Jose. Jose fires back, and hits a dropkick. The cradle gets 2. Big boot by Mahal, and knee strikes follow. Mahal grounds things, laying the boots to Jose and choking him out. The suplex follows for 2. Mahal grounds things again, but Jose fires back, hits a high cross and clotheslines. Mahal stuns him off the ropes and the khallas finishes it. Jinder Mahal defeated No Way Jose @ 4:30 via pin [*] This was bad, bland and boring. After all these years, Mahal can’t work a 4-5 minute match without extended rest holds.

IC Champion Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler: Instead of something new and fun, we get Dolph vs. Rollins again. It’s usually good to great, but I’m over it since it’s like their 15th meeting of 2018. They lock up and work to the ropes. Dolph lays in elbow strikes, they work into back and forth and Rollins dumps Dolph. Post break, and Dolph is in control. He chokes out Rollins in the ropes, hits a neck breaker, and covers for 2. Dolph grounds things, and then follows with a dropkick for 2. Dolph slams Rollins to the buckles, and again grounds things. Rollins slowly fires back with strikes, but Dolph cuts him off and rolls him up for 2. Dolph works a sleeper, grounding things again. Escapes, but Dolph dumps him to the floor. Post break, and both men are down. They trade strikes, Rollins hits sling blade and an enziguri. Rollins now hits the springboard clothesline for 2. Rollins heads up top, Dolph crotches him and follows him up. Rollins fights him off, Dolph back up and shoved off. The high fly flow misses for Rollins and Dolph hits the fameasser for 2. Rollins fights off zigzag, but Dolph cradles him for 2. The sleeper follows, but Rollins escapes and hits a superkick for 2. Dolph avoids blackout and hits zigzag for 2. They managed to trick the fans into a this is awesome chant; it’s not. Dolph is dumb and doesn’t follow up, instead delivering a monologue. Rollins cradles him for 2. Dolph hits a DDT, heads up top, Rollins pops up, hits the superplex and does the deal with the falcon arrow and wins. Champion Seth Rollins defeated Dolph Ziggler @ 20:45 via pin [***] While far from great, this was easily the best thing on the show and about the only thing that felt as if it meant something. I also love that Seth actually won with the superplex/falcon arrow combo; it’s a great spot but can now be believable as a near fall in big matches. It was good, but far from their best.

Bayley & Banks Talk: Alexa Bliss has given Bayley & Banks an open forum to address their fans. Bliss arrives and says she’s in charge of the women’s division and that’s why she’s doing this. Charly is at ringside to get fan questions. The first question is to how they would change the division. Bayley says she is proud and just wants more opportunities. Banks would ship Bliss back to Smackdown. Bliss gets annoyed and stirs the pot, trying to cause issues between the friends. Bayley says Banks is wrong, as she’d sent Bliss back to hell. Fox, Brooke, and James arrive and attack. Banks and Bayley clean house as Bliss smiles. My God they need some fresh faces, a shake up or call ups, this division is beyond stale. This whole thing ended up being a complete waste of time. I also loved that after watching Dana team with Bayley and banks last night, she’s the latest “random turn for convenience” character.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin: This is the 7th time they’ve done this match this year, 2 on PPV and now 5 on TV; none of them have been particularly good. Balor attacks at the bell but quickly gets cut off. Corbin of course grounds things, because that’s what he does. Balor fights, but Corbin keeps him down. Balor fires up, hits a dropkick and follows with chops. He then stomps the hell out of Corbin, and Balor hits an apron PK. Post break, and Corbin dumps Balor and slams him to the barricade. Corbin rolls in and looks for a countout. Balor breaks the count, Corbin lays the boots to him, and then punches Balor to the apron and then covers for 2. Corbin hits the Bossman clothesline, and then lays the boots to Balor, and… grounds things again. Balor fights back, hits a standing double stomp, and hits a running forearm, chops, and a ling blade. Balor then runs into deep six and Corbin covers for 2. Balor manages a DDT, follows with John Wooooooo and then misses the double stomp. Corbin of course makes this a handicap match, and brings out Drew. Man, fuck off with the lazy and cliché heel authority figures. Balor runs wild for a bit, Drew cuts him off, and slams him to the barricade. Back in and Drew hits claymore for the win. Baron Corbin defeated Finn Balor @ 13:30 via pin [**] This was the typical ok, but completely lacking match between these two with an added side of overbooking. Please stop trying to make Baron Corbin a thing, he’s absolutely horrible.

– Post match, Corbin, Drew, & Lashley beat down Balor in what ends up being a lazy replay of the opening angle.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

~GLORIOUS~

3.0

The final score: review Bad

The 411

WWE Raw continues to be a bad show where nothing really matters, they repeat a lot of things, Baron Corbin is your top heel and the longer you watch, the less soul you have. It’s just a bad show, with constant heat angles that generate no real heat, the faces looking like complete fools, atrocious wrestling, bad promos, and even worse storyline design. Maybe one day we'll get an episode where the good guys actually get to stand up for something and look like guys we can believe in. I can’t image who gets excited for or enjoys this show these days.