Dark Pegasus Video Review: Falls Count Anywhere: The Greatest Street Fights and Other Out-of-Control Matches (Disc Two)

Falls Count Anywhere: The Greatest Street Fights and Other Out-of-Control Matches by J.D. Dunn Twitter.com/jddunn411 Facebook.com/jddunn411 Your host is Mick Foley. Falls Count Anywhere: Cactus Jack vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna – 9/22/97). This was supposed to be Hunter against Dude Love, but neither Dude nor Mankind wanted to face Helmsley so they brought back Cactus Jack! Big pop for Jack. Jack smashes Helmsley in the face with a garbage can. He hits a neckbreaker and chases Helmsley around the ring, but Chyna pops up and cuts him off with a clothesline. That allows Hunter to beat him all the way back to the locker room area where he gets a two count. Back to ringside, Jack misses a Cactus Elbow and gets tossed to the steps as we go to break. We come back to Hunter dominating Cactus and beating him with a chair. Jack comes back with the sunset flip from the apron to the floor. Chyna jumps him from behind but gets squashed when Hunter knocks them both into the steps. Hunter smashes another trash can over Jack’s head and sets up a big table on the entrance platform. He tries a Pedigree, but Cactus counters and piledrives him through the table to pick up the win after a hellacious brawl at 9:16. Unlike a lot of brawls, this one holds up on repeated viewings. This was one of the matches that helped usher in the more violent, no-holds-barred Attitude Era. ***3/4 Falls Count Anywhere: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Taz (“Heatwave ’98” — 8/2/98). Taz had recently turned face, a situation that took off a lot of his edge. Bigelow powerbombs him off the bat, and Taz no-sells him. They take it to the crowd for the usual ECW-ish brawl. Taz tries an armbar out by some of the chairs. They brawl a little more, and Taz grabs the katihajime. Bigelow counters to a jawbreaker and takes it back to the ring. Another powerbomb puts Taz down, and Bigelow brings a table into the ring. Taz goes headfirst through it. Taz returns the favor by T-Boning Bigelow through the table. They brawl to the outside again where Bigelow tries to T-Bone Taz, but Taz counters to a DDT that puts them both through the entrance ramp (which looks like it’s made of paper). Bigelow emerges from the wreckage and staggers toward the ring, but Taz jumps out and tackles him with the katihajime for the tapout at 13:20. They played off the ending from their 3/1/98 match, and the ending of this was actually the best part. It’s the first 12 minutes that needed work. *1/4 Vacant Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly (2/14/99). Road Dogg was attacked in the locker room and had to vacate the title, so we get this match to crown a new champ. That’s not very hardcore. Holly is just starting to gain some respectability after years of trying to live down “Sparky Plugg.” Like all 1999 hardcore matches, we head out into the street early on with lots of sign shots to the head. They fight to a chain-link fence across the street where Al introduces Holly to his girlfriend “Barbie Wire.” Ha! They fall into the river. Holly grabs some chain link again and rolls up Snow in it for the win at 9:58. Holly would go on to become one of the Internet’s darlings in 1999. Snow would go on to eat his own dog. **1/2 #1 Contender’s Match, Strap Match: Triple H vs. The Rock (7/25/99). This is not a “touch-the-corners” match. It’s just “Falls Count Anywhere” with both guys strapped together. Brawl to start, and they work their way over to the Spanish table. It’s just a tease, though. Hunter gets whipped into the steps. The brawl spills into the crowd and around to the entrance. Rock drops HHH on the barricade. Ross says that Helmsley’s punishment after the MSG Incident was just created by the newsletters. See, this is why you have to take everything Ross says on his blog with a grain of salt. Rock suplexes Helmsley on the floor for two. They fight back to the ring where Hunter hits a high knee. Chyna walks down to the ring to distract the ref while Rock hits the Rock Bottom. The ref is still with Chyna, though. Well, that was a silly spot because Hunter was still in control when Chyna hopped up on the apron. What did he signal to her — “Hey, distract the ref while I turn around into this Rock Bottom?” Hunter goes low and chokes the Rock out with the strap. Rock yanks Hunter off the top rope, or, as Ross says, “The Rock jerks Triple H off… the top rope.” Rock hits a Samoan Drop for two. Hunter decides he’ll just take the strap off because that’s much easier. Rock makes him pay with some STIFF strap shots. The People’s DDT gets two. Chyna distracts the ref again while Billy Gunn runs in and hits Rock with a club. You know, it’s “No DQ,” they didn’t really need the ref distraction there. It only gets two anyway. Rock counters the Pedigree with a shot to the little H. People’s Elbow, but Gunn yanks Rock off the cover. Rock gives Gunn a Rock Bottom but turns around into the Pedigree at 19:22. Waaaaaaay overbooked, but hey, they had to set up that epic Billy Gunn vs. Rock “Kiss My Ass” match somehow. The strap really didn’t enter into it that much outside of giving them another foreign object to use. *** Love Her or Leave Her Greenwich Street Fight: Test vs. Shane McMahon (9/22/99). If Shane wins, Test and Stephanie have to break up. If Test wins, he gets thrown over at a key booking moment and spends the rest of his career as a midcarder. Odd stipulations there. Test is coming in with taped ribs. The Mean Street Posse takes up residence on a couch near the ring, prompting J.R. to question the logic of having a couch in the crowd if no one knew they were coming. J.R. is a skeptical bastard. For those who weren’t around or don’t remember. Stephanie started appearing regularly in the Spring of ’99. She started meeting Test clandestinely in motel rooms, and when Shane found out about it, he tried to put a stop to it because Test wasn’t good enough for her. Shane had some lackeys called the Mean Street Posse, who were basically a bunch of frat boys Shane hung out with. The Posse interferes early and often, so Test throws Shane into them. Shane smashes a sign over Test’s head for two then displays his athleticism with a leapfrog and back elbow. If Shane had wrestled under a mask with no advertised relation to Vince, I think he still could have gotten over. He actually busts out a corkscrew moonsault, but it misses. Test catches him trying to leapfrog again and powerbombs him for two. The Posse has the ref distracted, though. They drag Test over to the Spanish table where Shane drives an elbow through his heart. Stephanie, who was darned girl-next-door cute back when she debuted rather than being the sexpot the industry demanded, looks on in horror from the back. Back in, Shane covers and only gets two. Pete Gas tries to interfere, but it backfires and Shane takes a road sign to the head. The Posse makes the save again, and Rodney hits Test with his cast. That gets two, but Test’s “immeasurable love for Stephanie” allows him to kick out. Oh, Jim Ross. You silly bastard. Pat Patterson and Gerald Briscoe come down to take out the Posse. That allows Test to hit the pump-handle slam and a Macho Man elbow for the win at 12:04. This was heavily booked to disguise the shortcomings of both guys, which is just fine, especially since it was all about telling a story rather than displaying workrate. In retrospect, it hasn’t aged well, but it made Test look like the main eventer of the next millennium. Test and Stephanie share a tender embrace. ***1/2 Foley says they both lived happily ever after. Well, that’s a bit insensitive. WWF Heavyweight Title, Falls Count Anywhere: Big Show vs. Kane (w/Tori). If Kane doesn’t win the title, Tori has to spend the weekend with X-Pac. Triple H and Stephanie look on from the ramp. Slugfest early, and the Kaneziguiri sends Show over the top. Kane follows with a flying clothesline. Show grabs a chair and nails Kane for the DQ. Hunter restarts the match as “no DQ.” Show and Kane fight into the crowd for a countout, but Stephanie restarts it as an NCOR and FCA. Kane and Show brawl back to ringside. Oddservation: The entrance ramp is on camera right, something they almost never do anymore. Show grabs the ringsteps but takes forever to use them, and Kane is able to dropkick them back in his face. Kane picks up Show for a powerslam back when such a thing was feasible, but he spies Road Dogg and Billy Gunn molesting Tori. Show uses the distraction to powerbomb Kane through the announce table for the win at 6:53. This was mostly about getting The McMahon-Helmsley Regime over and setting up Tori’s heel turn. Kane and Show were pretty spry back then, though, and it’s pretty awe-inspiring to see them tossing each other around. Keep in mind that Kane has slowed down severely and Show gained about 100 pounds since then. **3/4 Hardcore Title: Crash Holly vs. The World (3/16/00). This is from Fun Town U.S.A.. Headbanger Mosh finds Crash playing games and attacks him. No ref, though. Crash tries to escape down the slide, but Headbanger Thrasher is waiting for him with a trash can. Mosh breaks up the pin, and the Headbangers get into a fight. Crash escapes into the ball pit and hits a diving clothesline on Thrasher. Mosh gets planted with a huracanrana, and Crash escapes with the title. The best match in the history of Fun Town U.S.A.. I think I can safely say that. [N/R] Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon (10/29/01). This was a rematch from WrestleMania, only with the heel/face roles reversed. Shane tries to attack at the bell, but Vince avoids him and chokes him with a cable. He tries to use a trash can, but Shane goes low and beats him with the lid. The Shooting Star Press only finds a trash can, though. Vince clotheslines Shane over the top, but Shane blasts him with the monitor. That sets up the diving elbow off the top, putting Vince through the table. To the ring, Shane only gets two off Earl Hebner’s slow count. Shane tries a Van Terminator, but Vince throws the trash can at him. Booker T and Test run down to interfere, but they’re easily dispatched by the Undertaker and Kane. Alliance Commissioner William Regal drops the Undertaker with a Regal Cutter. Wow. Rock slides in and Rock Bottoms Regal. Steve Austin follows and Stuns the Rock. Kurt Angle comes in with a chair, but he turns on the WWE and hits Chris Jericho. Oh, it’s the ever-shocking WWE-superstar-joins-the-Alliance-but-it’s-way-too-late-to-make-it-credible turn. Vince totally botches taking the Stunner. What, not enough practice? The Alliance drags Shane on top for the win at 10:52. At this point, it was already obvious that the Invasion was a bust, and they were just trying to suck what little juice it had left out of it. Of course, it was all a ruse as Angle was a WWE mole, which made him a heel post-Alliance for reasons that make no sense (but everyone seemed to accept). The match itself is just a rehash of WrestleMania X-7 without any of the drama or surprises. *3/4 Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair (1/20/02). If you ever wanted proof that Flair will sell anything, check out this match. Vince comes in looking jacked (all-natural, of course0, but his wrestling moves are so stiff (as in “immobile,” not “tight”) that they’re almost comical. Flair makes it a respectable street fight by bumping for anything and everything Vince does as if Sting and Luger had a baby and called it “Vince McMahon,” and then they let Barry Windham train it. Funny spot as McMahon takes away Megan Flair’s camera and takes a picture of Ric’s bloody face. Vince goes after Flair’s leg, and he actually does a reasonable job of that. Of course, that leads to the figure-four, which Flair powers over and reverses. McMahon grabs a lead pipe, but Flair goes low and lights up Vince’s chest. Great facial expressions from Vince. Flair busts Vince open and bites his face, which Megan gets a nice shot of. Back in, Flair locks in the figure-four for the submission at 14:55. Not what you’d call a classically good match, but Vince’s willingness to humiliate himself and Flair’s willingness to wrestle anyone like they’re a world champion made this a fun watch. ***

The 411: And here were see where Falls Count Anywhere/Street Fights were used as excuses to dump a bunch of booking cues into a match or hide wrestlers' shortcomings rather than blow off a big feud. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that necessarily, as it's probably more lucrative. Just an observation.
Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]