Down With The Brown: Halloween Havoc 1990

To be honest, I don’t really have a lot to say in my intro this go-around, and that’s a shame, since this is my big non-wrestling moment to speak my mind about the day’s events. The next column however, I will have a statement, a favor, a request to make to my readers, make sure you’re here for it, okay?

You know, I do want to say something about someone. Someone whose name gets tossed around a lot on this site. HHH. Real brief. Real quick. And I want you to know, I don’t like him either. I’m not defending him, I’m not looking to start a debate or anything. But I just want to say……

HE’S A HEEL!!!

You’re SUPPOSED to HATE him! I can go on for pages about why I don’t like him (and many of you already have.) But you know, the fact that so many people have such absolute HATRED for this guy, well, I’m sorry, but he’s obviously doing his job right.

One guy who did his job wrong though was Ole Anderson, head booker of tonight’s show. We are headed to 1990, smackdab in the middle of everyone’s favorite angle that wouldn’t die, the Black Scorpion. And you know, as horrible of an angle it was, the thing drew. You can say how idiotic the thing was, but the initial Sting vs. Black Scorpion COTC show was one of the highest rated TBS wrestling shows ever. Granted a large audience doesn’t mean quality (as Daddy Daycare has proven, geez Eddie, suddenly The Golden Child seems like genius now), but people were watching.

And real quick-like, what is the deal with The Matrix Reloaded? Is it really THAT bad? It seemed like everyone and their dog freakin’ LOVED it on opening weekend, what with everyone annoying me to go see it (I saw A Mighty Wind instead that weekend) and now there’s this backlash that I haven’t seen since Phantom Menace (which I have hated since opening day, BTW.) What happened?

However, getting back on topic, THIS show is focusing on the Sting vs. Sid Vicious feud. Sid was struggling to become a singles force. While awesome as half of the Skyscrapers, Sid had fallen victim to a 26 second squash on a summer Clash against Lex Luger AND he was damn near terrified of non-wrestler El Gigante. Kinda hard to push someone like THAT as your main heel, but that’s what was being served to us. Ric Flair, for the first time since winning the title from Harley Race at Starrcade ‘83 was NOT a main eventer, instead easing into the tag team scene. And the Steiners were the best tag team on the planet, and getting ZERO tag title shots despite it. There’s your history lesson. Here we go:

Your hosts in their Halloween attire are Jim “Scarface” Ross and Paul E. Dracula.

Before we get into this though, let’s look at what matches didn’t make the Turner cut:

Tim Horner beat Barry Horowitz in what must have been an awfully long 8:35.
Rip Rogers beat Reno Riggins
Terry Taylor beat Bill Irwin in a “Whose WWF gimmick is lamer?” match
Brad Armstrong shocks everyone by beating J.W. Storm and proving he’s not a COMPLETE failure. Storm would later retire for being unable to beat an Armstrong.
Master Blasters (Al Greene and Kevin Nash) beat The Southern Boys
Junkyard Dog beat Moondog Rex in a match that took place WAY too high up on the card.

Would have liked to seen how green the Blasters were, but I think Ted knew better than to air it.

Match #1

Rick Morton & Tommy Rich vs. The Midnight Express

Morton & Rich are looking rather ragged (The Rock and Rolls of Fat, if you will), though I guess that would quickly become par for the course for both of them. It blows my mind to see these two looking so bad, when Rich was still in his early 30’s, and Morton had peaked just a few years prior. Rich promises “the greatest night of professional wrestling in the history of professional wrestling!” Interviewer Phantom of the Schiavonne looks at the pair and says “Well, I guess you guys must be taking the night off then.”

No, he doesn’t, but I could have seen Jesse doing it. The mat is orange and the ropes are orange and black just to give us the Halloween feeling. Midnights get a HUGE pop. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is the last WCW PPV appearance of Eaton and Lane as a team as Ole was jobbing them left and right at this time until Cornette finally said “screw it” and the team broke up.

Morton and Eaton start with Eaton hiptossing Morton and Morton sells it like his back just gave out. Eaton controls and the fans pop huge again. Morton gets a backdrop to get back into it. Slugfest won by Morton so a blind tag to Lane leads to a combination backdrop-powerslam that leaves Morton for dead. Slingshot into the ring followed by a clothesline and Lane dances around for us. Tape goes out, but we’re back as Eaton continues to pummel Morton. Morton gets tossed and Eaton tries an axehandle from the top to the floor which misses HORRIBLY as the camera is right on it, and poor Ricky sells it anyway. Cornette makes up for it by jamming his racket in Morton’s throat. Morton gets throttled on the floor for a bit before Rich breaks it up.

Back in and Lane does his karate kicks. Morton gets a sunset flip but Cornette distracts the ref and no count is made. Morton gets tossed again and slammed on the floor and the runway. Eaton adds injury by hitting a rocket launcher from the top rope to the runway leading to the ring. It only gets two. Morton desperately gets a roll-up and Eaton delivers an early version of a Stunner to end that. Vicious slingshot backbreaker continues the string of cool moves. Only gets two though. Cornette pops Morton in the throat AGAIN. Morton gets dumped again and Rich tries to help. Funny, how Rich is sweating more than Rich and he hasn’t done anything yet. Eaton posts himself and Morton hits a Frankensteiner though since he’s not Scott, it’s a “Japanese headscissors.” Before Morton can capitalize, Cornette kicks him in the ribs.

Eaton hits the top rope legdrop, and in a nice touch, he won’t pin him, he wants the ref to declare a TKO. So the ref starts a 10 count. But Morton is up at 9, and the abuse continues. Lane destroys Morton some more, but a second rocket launcher does Eaton in as Morton gets the knees up. After 10 minutes of getting his ass kicked, Morton finally tags Rich in. Rich hits a Thesz press and Morton, who was near dead thirty seconds earlier has suddenly Hulked up. All four men in and Rich gets hit with the racket. Rich lies motionless and suddenly the Southern Boys come out supposedly dressed as Jim Cornette waving their own tennis rackets around. I say supposedly, because they have on thick glasses and have curly hair. Rich comes back to life, hits Lane with the racket and gets the pin. And the Express disbanded soon after, and really, wouldn’t you? Fun match until the end though, the Express, I think knew their days were numbered, and they looked at least to be trying to make the most of it.

Sting Interview:

“I hope Sid’s not letting his butt overload his you-know-what!!!! I mean, his mouth overload his you-know-what!!!! Damn, I’m excited!!! You know what I’m trying to say!!!!!” That was verbatim.

And out comes The Black Scorpion who shows his evil by kidnapping a fan, putting her in a magic box, and making her disappear, and suddenly she appears on the OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE!!!! Good God, almighty!!!! I had to rewind that just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things!!! Paul E.’s scared, I think he’s afraid of what might happen to him if he admitted what he really thought of what he just saw. The Scorpion says “We’ll meet again” and he runs off, I think just so he can make his fitting for the Gobbledygooker costume. Too short to be painful, there’s an obvious joke there, make your own up.

Match #2

The Renegade Warriors vs. The Freebirds

The Freebirds are accompanied by Little Richard Marley aka Rocky King an NWA jobber who got some bizarre push in 1990 that made zero sense. The Renegade Warriors are basically the Native American SWAT Team, Samu and Fatu in Indian form, minus the charisma. Mark and Hayes start and the Youngbloods dominate to a nice nothing reaction. Ross goes on a huge tangent on how cruel the Freebirds are. You ever notice the less an angle is over, the more pointlessly angry Ross gets? When Ross starts apologizing for his anger, you KNOW the angle’s in trouble. Garvin struts around, but Lane just did it in the last match, and a lot better too. Headlock on Garvin. Chris gets a roll-up but Hayes punches him in the face leading to a back suplex from Garvin. And Chris gets dumped. Rocky tries to interfere but since he weighs about 90 lbs, Chris wisely fights him off. Ross goes off on Paul E. and how he lives with his mom. You know, I really don’t think Ross liked Heyman. Ever.

Chris gets trashed for a while until Hayes goes for the DDT, but he gets backdropped. Garvin tags in and dumps him again. Restholds a plenty as Mark Youngblood gets the lukewarm tag. The Youngbloods dominate while the fans sit on their hands. Marley gets thrown in and as the ref tries to get rid of him, Hayes gets a DDT for the win. The crowd pops huge for that too as the faces are getting NO reaction so far. *1/4, just a really boring match.

Horseman Interview: Arn builds up the Horsemen / Doom match thusly “No good guys, no bad guys, just four MEN going after the tag team title belts.” Eh, that would never work TODAY, would it?

Match #3

The Steiners vs. The Nasty Boys

This match has gathered quite a bit of fame over the years, and as such the Nasty Boys FFWD rule will not be in effect here. The Nasties were big in Florida but the rest of the country knew little about Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs, and when they were immediately pushed into a match with the Steiners, it seemed like leading the lambs to slaughter. 1990-1991 Steiners were maybe the greatest tag team ever, despite holding the U.S. tag titles, the secondary tag titles.

Wild brawl starts as all four men end up on the floor. Sags gets posted, but Scott eats the guardrail and gets a chair slammed over his head. Sags tries to superplex Scott but he reverses it and belly-to-bellies Sags from the second rope to the mat. That gets two before Knobbs interferes. And all four men brawl some more. Double underhook powerbomb kills Sags, and a bulldog off the top rope kills him again. Knobbs smacks Scott over the head with a chair to end the onslaught. He gets two out of it. Out of frustration, Knobbs kicks Scott in the head. Powerslam gets two. Scott gets tossed, and Sags drops a knee from the apron to the floor.

Sags comes in illegally and he gets a pumphandle slam (called a side slam by Ross) Salto slam gets two. Knobbs comes in and the pace has slowed considerably. Abdominal stretch turns into an atomic wedgie on Scott. Bearhug by Sags and he shows some power as it’s a lifting bearhug. Scott naturally turns it into a belly-to-belly suplex. Rick enters and comes within millimeters of ripping Knobbs’ head clear off with a deadly Steinerline. He charges for a second but Brian ducks and Rick ends up on the floor. So the Nasties spike-piledrive Scott, but the ref won’t count as long as both Nasties are in the ring. So while Brian exits, Rick nails Sags in the head with a chair. Sags is busted open and Scott gets a back suplex to furthen weaken him. Jim Ross then delivers the single worst possible wrestling slogan: “This is World Championship Wrestling, it is man-on-man action.” For some reason, that never took off. Brian tags in somehow, and he paintbrushes Rick just for the hell of it. Knobbs goes back to the bearhug.

Sags tags back in and locks on a Boston crab, and Jerry’s turning into a bloody mess. More restholds as Scott just can’t make the tag. Finally, the Boys screw up as Knobbs misses a corner splash and Scott clotheslines Sags and makes the hot tag to Rick. And the arena erupts. Rick destroys everybody, almost literally as he almost drops Brian Knobbs during a belly-to-belly. The Nasties regroup and Rick gets dumped. But they celebrate too long as Rick hits a top rope clothesline on both of them. Scott gets slammed on the floor as he continues to sell his ten minute beating. The two try to double clothesline Rick but Scott pulls Sags to the floor and posts him. Steinerline on Knobbs, Frankensteiner, and see ya. Excellent match that did nothing but elevate both teams. Especially when the Nasties attack the Steiners with their own belts after the match. Rick gets his shoulder posted twice for good measure. ***1/2.

Cut to a post match interview with Scott Steiner who gets attacked by a concession stand worker who turns out to be a disguised Jerry Sags. Scott gets destroyed by the Nasties.

Now, say you’re WCW, okay? You just took two guys that were nobodies a month earlier and made them the talk of the organization. What do you do? Well, WCW, being the brainiacs that they were, didn’t bother to sign the Nasties to long term contracts. So after the awesome display at Halloween Havoc, they got signed by the WWF a month later, making WCW look like complete idiots. And what had the makings of being a classic feud, ended with a whimper just as things were heating up.

Match # 4

Doom vs. Ric Flair / Arn Anderson

And here you go, the first WCW PPV in two and a half years NOT to feature Ric Flair in the main event. Flair and Booker Ole weren’t exactly best buds around this time, so Flair got demoted first to the U.S. title hunt, and then the tag team scene as we get a rare heel vs. heel match-up. Doom surprised me by turning out to be a pretty bad-ass tag team after their initial flop in 1989. Flair’s kind enough to come out to Arn’s music rather than his own. Well, it IS a Ron Simmons match, as Ross lays out the football backgrounds before the entrance music has even finished. Teddy’s sporting a nice graffiti do-rag that was stylish for about thirty-five seconds one week in 1990.

Arn and Simmons start. Arn tries to suplex Ron to the floor right from the start but Ron reverses it and Arn rolls out to the floor. Did you know Ron Simmons played nose tackle? If you watched WCW in 1990, you did. Simmons sends Arn into Reed and Simmons finishes with a powerslam. Simmons clotheslines both Horsemen and while Flair regroups, Teddy Long bitchslaps him. And Flair looks SERIOUSLY pissed off. Long seems unsure what to make of it at first, but he ends up juking about in celebration. Reed and Flair tag in. Flair controls the tempo with punches to Reed’s face. Nasty chop wakes Reed up and he press slams him. Arn gets pressed too, and Flair gets hiptossed, clotheslined, and everything else. Flair responds with nasty chops that Reed no-sells. He responds with weak chops that Flair does sell. What’s wrong with this picture?

Flair does the flip into the corner, knocking out the cameraman in the process. Simmons and Flair fight on the floor, Simmons tries to toss Flair back in, but his head gets caught on the ropes. Arn tags in and he gets pummeled. But Simmons ducks his head on a backdrop and the Horsemen take over. Simmons is kind enough to sell Flair’s chops. You know, I know the faces don’t tend to sell Flair’s chops, but come on, when the sound is so damn loud, you almost HAVE to. And it just looks stupid when they don’t.

Doubleteam on Simmons’ leg. Flair locks on the figure-four to a rather quiet reaction. This was back when the figure-four was starting to lose its selling power. Simmons blows a desperation dropkick and Arn gets two. Test of strength leads to a knee to the groin to Arn. Flair tags in and tries to shoulderblock Simmons, but Flair falls down instead. To the floor and Flair eats the guardrail. But Arn makes the save, and Simmons just cannot tag. Simmons gets a faceplant on Arn and the tag is made.

Reed kills everybody. All four men in. Flair goes into the railing. Arn tries to piledrive Simmons, but Reed gets a top rope shoulderblock. Flair breaks it up. Arn DDT’s Reed for two. Simmons breaks it up and rolls up Arn for two. All four men brawl inside and outside. It ends up being more outside though as the ref counts them out. Very good match, lousy ending. ***1/4.

Interview: Stan Hansen. Hansen holds up a little pumpkin that represents Luger. He throws it down.

Match #5

Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen

This was Hansen’s brief return to the U.S. in 1990 and I believe it’s been his only U.S. tour in the past 15 years. Bradshaw of course has stolen all of his repertoire from Hansen, a guy known for breaking Bruno Sammartino’s neck and ditching the AWA World title, rather than job it to 50 year-old Nick Bockwinkel. Luger at this point had held the U.S. belt for a year and a half, a freakin’ eternity by today’s standards. Ross drops the “man on man” line again.

Hansen does a clever move by jumping Luger right to his face. Luger fights him off and dumps him to the floor. Hansen makes his way to the dressing room early, but decides better. Chops and an elbow from Hansen get two. Luger gets dumped, and Hansen posts Luger. Hansen kicks Luger in the gut, and Luger spectacularly oversells it. Even HE seems a little embarrassed by it. Luger fights back and slams Hansen. Did you know Lex Luger played football in Canada. Ross calls Luger the “thinking man’s wrestler” which makes all those “cerebral assassin” comments make that much more sense. Hansen comes back with the mighty rest hold. Blind charge sends Hansen over the top to the floor. His gut lands first, the rest of him lands about four seconds later. Luger’s getting so excited, he’s even selling when he’s on offense as he screams in pain everytime he punches Hansen.
Hansen’s head goes into the rampway.

Back into the ring, weak hiptoss and elbowdrop gets two. Hansen gets tired of selling the weak offense and he takes control, kicking Luger in the head. Hansen hits a bulldog for two. Luger fights back but Hansen hits a sloppy spinebuster for two. Luger gets slammed, but Hansen blows a second rope elbow. Luger hits a pretty swift dropkick, slams him, and drops an elbow for two. Hansen gets slammed for two. Hansen responds with a clothesline. And Hansen clocks the ref just for the hell of it. Luger clotheslines Hansen in the confusion and suddenly Dan Spivey runs in and throws the cowbell to Hansen. Luger bulldogs Hansen and signals for the Torture Rack. So Hansen says “Oh, no you don’t” and simply clotheslines him for the pin and the U.S. title. I don’t think Hansen was that big of a shock, but winning it cleanly certainly was. Not a particularly great match, pretty much kick and punch and yell.

Match #6

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

Sting, I feel, had the same problem as the Ultimate Warrior during his title reign. There were no credible heels and as a result, none of their title matches were very suspenseful. Sting basically had the mysterious Black Scorpion, Ric Flair, and Sid Vicious as top challengers. Sid got the title shot almost by default, because there was NOBODY else. Missy Hyatt comes out to predict that Sid will win which of course, guarantees his defeat. Sid is listed as from “anywhere he darn well pleases.” I would have LOVED to hear Sid say “Darn.” I’m sure it would sound really scary.

Crowd seems pretty pumped for this match. Sid and Sting talk smack to each other, until Sid stops to turn to the crowd. Sting does the same so Sid jumps him. Sid catches a Sting bodypress and he hits a pretty wicked backbreaker and Sting totally no-sells it. What is it with no-selling GOOD moves on this show? Sting tries to apply a figure-four and Sid bails. The two fight on the floor with Sid getting thrown into the railing and the post. Sting applies a wristlock that goes on waaaaay too long. Even Steamboat would be yawning. Sid clotheslines Sting. And he delivers his awesome arsenal of kicks and chokes. Sting gets a quick sunset flip for two. Sid makes him pay with a clothesline. And it’s Vulcan nerve hold on Sting. (and get off my back if that’s not the right name for it, I’m not a Trekkie.)

Sid goes for a powerslam and Sting gets so much gusto he almost leaps over Sid rather than into him. Weak cover gets two. Sid delivers an awful looking choke. He just puts his hand on Sting’s throat and does nothing, Sting shakes like crazy. Sting blows the Stinger splash and almost ends up on the announce table. Sid stops to pose so Sting hits a top rope bodypress that only gets one.

Sid grinds Sting’s face in the mat, wiping off what little facepaint is left on Sting. Another two count. More restholding. He misses an elbowdrop and Sting bounces off the rope almost slamming into the cameraman in the process and he blows an elbowdrop too. But he responds with a faceplant. Sid gets a big boot to Sting’s face and he falls to the rampway. The two men fight all the way down the rampway, but Sting fights back culminating in a nice plancha to the floor. Suddenly Flair and Anderson run to the ring, and Sid runs away. Sting chases after Sid and both men disappear. Suddenly Sid and a taller pudgier Sting make their way back to the ring. Sting picks up Sid, drops him, and Sid pins him for the belt. The crowd starts shooting out Horseman signs. And fireworks shoot, and in the melee, the real Sting emerges from the dressing room. Balloons plummet from the ceiling as Sting hits Sid with the belt, splashes him, and small packages him for the pin. *1/2. Lousy match, lousy angle, lousy finish.

For the record, since it’s never really acknowledged, fake Sting was played by Barry Windham, and actually it was done well from a production standpoint, as you never saw fake Sting’s face, and the stuff with him was done in wide angle shots. And it worked, because Windham looks NOTHING like Sting. Still, confused fans were even more confused as the angle, to the best of my knowledge was never mentioned on WCW TV afterwards. It was right back to the Black Scorpion angle.

End of show.

As it was for most of 1990, the tag team scene ruled the school, as three matches I put at *** or higher. The Steiners / Nasties match is a TAD overrated, but it’s still a damn good brawl and worth looking for. Also gotta give props to the forgotten Doom / Horsemen feud and the end of the Midnights. They definitely make up for a rather lackluster final thirty minutes.

I wouldn’t make a huge rush to get this or anything, but I can’t say that I didn’t mildy enjoy it.

Thumbs up, recommended, B.

-Sydney Brown