Five-Star Conversation 03.30.10: WrestleMania Wrap Up And A Look Ahead

This has nothing to do with the rasslin, but I remembered this and can’t stop laughing at the cheese sandwich joke at the end. I know Gilbert Godfried can be a little hard to take…hell, he can be downright annoying; that said, if he irritates you, do us both a favor and don’t watch it. Otherwise, proceed. It should be noted that this could be incredibly offensive to some.

Oh, by the by, this little effort called WrestleMania went down last Sunday. Did you catch it? Last week here at 5SC, we did a little amateur prognostication and I’m pleased to say that, for my own edification, at least, of the nine matches announced at the time I submitted the column to post (the pre-show battle royal and divas’ tag match weren’t announced until later in the week), I correctly predicted eight outcomes correctly. Pardon me a moment as I Barry Horowitz myself (the less said about that comment the better, I think…!) and snicker behind my hand and point at Cook (have a look at the 411 Round Table). So let’s look back at the 26th installment of The Grand Daddy of ‘Em All and consider where we might go from here…

It probably shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that The Unified tag Team Title match between defending champions ShoMiz, The Big Show & The Miz and what I like to call Truth & Wisdom: John Morrison & R-Truth jerked this year’s curtain, considering it got bumped to the pre-show last year. This felt almost like a squash, to be honest, as I think the aforementioned Barry Horowitz used to get in about as much offense as T&W were allowed here. If nothing else, this seems to imply McMahonagement’s continued support of ShoMiz. One has to wonder if The Miz might start running his mouth (yeah, I know…start) and take credit for the successful defense, even though it was Show’s devastating knock-out punch that sealed the fate of the challengers.

I also kinda wondered aloud last week whether or not there might be a heel turn in Morrison’s future, leading to a feud between he and his partner, Truth. It seems to me now, based upon the way this went down, that this will not come to pass, because it was Morrison who took the fall. If there were to be any animosity existing between them as a result of the outcome, it likely would have been as a consequence of Morrison getting angry with Truth for having lost. That scenario doesn’t work with roles reversed, unless Morrison claims that Truth should have had his back and didn’t. No, it strikes me now that one of these guys is likely hanging out waiting to be traded to Raw next month (I’ll guess Truth), and so will not find himself in anything too involving till then.

I have two ideas for what we could see next…they just kinda popped into my noggin, so they’re nothing to which I’m too terribly married…see what you think.

ShoMiz hit the stage on Monday and gloat about their dominant victory at WrestleMania, The Miz especially really going to town in this fashion. Come Friday, Morrison is seething, The Miz claiming it was he who carried their team back in the day and that Morrison obviously isn’t everything The WWE Universe or Morrison himself thinks he is. ShoMiz hit the stage again and continue their self-aggrandizing. Morrison and Truth jump them with some kind of weapon, leaving them in a heap. Later in the show, we see them complaining to Vickie Guerrero, who grants them a rematch at next month’s Extreme Rules PPV. Although in the weeks leading to the PPV it appears T&W have ShoMiz’ number, the champions prevail and retain their belts. The next night on Raw, Morrison is drafted to Raw and picks up where he left off, chasing The UTTTs with a new partner until they eventually score the win.

The other idea I had was that The Miz ends up sealing his own fate by running his mouth a little too much, a little too often, taking credit for his team’s dominance, such that Show takes offense, The Miz seemingly implying that it is he, not Show, who is the big gun in the team, thus leading to a face turn for Show as he puts The Miz in his place, perhaps even when it is The Miz who loses the titles for his team when he submits or is pinned (perhaps by Starship Pain…?). Show then goes on to defeat The Miz for his UST, leaving the once “man made of gold” without a single title. Again, just throwin it against the wall there.

My opinion of how the Triple-Threat match featuring Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes changed quite a bit from last week’s column after I saw Raw that night, and I should have seen the Legacy implosion coming, such that they’d eventually cancel out one another once victory at the biggest event of the year was seemingly within their grasp. It makes perfect sense from a storytelling standpoint, too, that, without their leader to unite them in a common cause, each man’s cause becomes his own success (not to mention each student’s desire to teach a lesson to the teacher they feel betrayed them).

So what’s next for these three? As far as I’m concerned, Orton has nothing else to prove to or against his students. He bucked the odds at WrestleMania, dividing and conquering in convincing fashion. Now is the time for him to move forward…but where is forward? I think the notion of another program with John Cena would send the entire IWC shrieking like little girls out into the streets. Maybe we do have one final blow-off at Extreme Rules next month, since the whole basis for an extreme rules match implies a situation that has reached a fever pitch and deserves some brutality to drive home the finality?

If not, it’s pretty easy to pit DiBiase and Rhodes against one another, but that puts us in the uncomfortable position of one having to go over the other and that means some really clever booking to ensure both men coming out of the program/match looking strong and ready for the next hurdle, likely the first of their short careers where they’ll be forced to stand alone and prove that the moniker Legacy wasn’t just a marketing tool. Speaking of The Draft, it might not be a bad idea to separate these two for a while. I can see Rhodes heading to SmackDown!…?

Money in the Bank was the only match where I was just completely off the mark. Who among us not named Chad Nevett and Ari Berenstein figured Jack Swagger to win? Well done, there, gentlemen! I’m excited for Swagger, because I honestly think he’s been underutilized thus far and it’s my hope that this huge victory serves to signal the end of the rumored doghouse to which he’s been relegated in WWE. However, there’s part of me that’s a little concerned that, come July, at the $itB PPV, Swagger will find himself in hot water (in terms of kayfabe) and be forced to put his briefcase on the line and lose it. Just a hunch.

Where does this leave the other three favored winners, Christian, Kofi Kingston and Drew McIntyre, though? I’ve said it here before and I’ll say it again, certainly not because it pleases me to say it, because it certainly does not, but it’s apparently true that Vince simply does not believe in Captain Charisma as a main event player. Therefore, I just can’t see Christian ever seeing the lofty heights the majority of us here in The IWC would like to see him attain. Just as in any work situation, if the boss doesn’t think you’ve got the goods to do the job (so to speak), you just won’t ever get the opportunity, wrong as he may be.

I’m as befuddled as anyone where Kingston is concerned. Kingston was given that opportunity and was proving himself in a fantastic (though oddly placed) short program against no less than Randy Orton just a few short months ago. He was allowed to ditch the gimmicky Jamaican persona and to incorporate a more “real” approach to his character, really coming out of his shell and proving he has a charisma that matches his explosive maneuvers in the ring and the fans LOVED it. It also provided a newness and a freshness to a stale and stagnant Monday night product. The feud went to PPV, Orton went over successfully, though in a manner such that no shame should be hung over Kingston…and then, nothing. He barely eeked onto the WrestleMania card at all, having been added to $itB as a seeming afterthought, leaving us all scratching our heads in bewilderment, saying, “Holy MVP, Batman!”

The reason I was so gung-ho for McIntyre isn’t just because he’s been anointed Vince’s Chosen One, but because his walking with the briefcase would have been grounds for at least a measure of forgiveness where the booking of his character has been concerned leading to WrestleMania. We’ve discussed here before how McMahonagement has screwed themselves out of a year’s worth of booking in McIntyre’s case by running three separate angles simultaneously: 1) The undefeated streak, 2) being The ICC, 3) qualifying for $itB.

McIntyre didn’t need to run his own streak while being ICC. Kane having been the first to blemish his undefeated record, especially during a $itB qualifying match, did absolutely nothing good for anyone, and only did bad to McIntyre. Now, Taker being the one to hand McIntyre his first loss on the WrestleMania go-home made perfect sense, because it sent the message that, when the term “Streak” is mentioned in WWE, it means one thing and one thing only – Taker and WrestleMania. But, having McIntyre beaten by Kane and Matt Hardy in the weeks preceding that match displayed that McIntyre is absolutely able to be defeated, and the more it occurred, expunged losses from the “official record” or not, weakened his credibility. Rebounding and winning $itB would have redeemed him in the eyes of the fans, even though we all pretty well agree it’s an honor for which he’s decidedly not ready. Now doesn’t it stand to reason that Kane and Matt should be in line for a shot at The ICT? Were I either of those men, I’d be knocking on Teddy Long’s door.

I’m willing to chill for a week or two to see what happens with McIntyre, to see if McMahonagement has a way to follow up and redeem themselves and this character they supposedly are making a priority, but, as it stands now, they’ve been bitten while screwing the pooch.

I’m pleased with the way Triple H versus Sheamus played out, basically, with Tri relying upon his veteran know-how to overcome the power and passion of the youngster. It’d be great for the kid to have gone over to help legitimize his role in the company, but the fact that he was allowed such a convincing match against The Great Sonnyboy is likely mandate enough. Too, I’m really pleased that the fears I expressed last week were unfounded, in that sometimes, Tri tends to bite off more than his ring generalship can chew, believing he can orchestrate an epic where it’s simply not possible. No, he just got out there and really told a nice story with a young talent who shows a lot of promise and upward mobility, the likes of who this quality of experience in a big match environment will serve well as he struggles to ascend to the same heights as his opponent.

That said, again, next month being Extreme Rules (and to say nothing of the fact that Sheamus’ picture is on the cover of the promotional poster), I think there’s plenty of room for a stakes-raised return match, where Sheamus believes he can emerge victorious if allowed another shot at the veteran. Who knows, depending upon how close Tri wants to be to the pregnant Mrs. during her term, we could even see an injury angle worked to write The Game off TV for a few months, thus putting over Sheamus without even having to be victorious in either instance.

Although we discussed last week how awesome it would be if Mysterio had lost on Sunday and was forced to join The Straight-Edge Society, Punk forcing him to commit acts with which he obviously felt strongly against, the fans BEGGING him to rebel and punch out his “savior”, as this would have elevated Punk to crazy heights as a heel, it seems WWE opted for the feel-good WrestleMania moment to send home the kiddies with a warm fuzzy in their tummies (and hopefully an expensive souvenir mask on their heads).

However, there’s a good chance that Rey Mysterio versus CM Punk may head to Extreme Rules, as well. Astute reader Al Lawson made a pretty brilliant prediction last week by suggesting this is all heading to a “Mask versus Hair” stipulation, and Extreme Rules is the perfect environment, especially, again, since that kind of PPV is perfect for a blow-off (that being the case, you’d think Missy Hyatt would be the guest GM for the night). Then maybe Mysterio could get that Street Fight I mistakenly thought Sunday’s match was set to be (sorry for the inaccuracy there and thanks for setting me right!). It makes a certain amount of sense for Extreme Rules to follow WrestleMania and for The Draft to go down the next night, because a bunch of feuds can come to completion, then some parties can be moved to a different brand where fresh feuds await. Would The Straight-Edge Society work on Raw…?

Considering it was such a foregone conclusion that Vince would end up submitting in The Sharpshooter, there really wasn’t a whole lot else to do with Bret Hart versus Mr. McMahon. The match they had to have was going to be heavy on sports entertainment and light on substance. It’s just a shame that Hart couldn’t have had gained this measure of revenge in Canada. Nonetheless, a true WrestleMania moment that we’ll be seeing in the highlight reels every year till the stars fall out of the sky.

Although the short-cut seems to have been taken in the Mysterio/Punk story, they did absolutely the right thing where Chris Jericho defending The World HeavyWeight Title against Edge is concerned. We discussed it last week, where Edge’s face status is being hard sold to the fans and they’re biting, but not to the extent that McMahonagement wants them to. The key to that is the chase. It built Lex Luger and it built Sting in The NWA when Ric Flair was champion. With the brilliant Jericho holding the ten pounds of gold, it’ll work again, and it will positively make Edge in the process.

The fact that Edge Speared Jericho through the barricade after he lost is exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about. Give Edge the opportunity to overcome and be the better of Jericho at every turn…except when the title is on the line. Tease that crowd, taunt the audience, even throw in a Duthty finish, eef you wee-yull (just don’t overdo it!!!). Then, once the program’s at a fever pitch, when fans are really starting to believe Edge won’t make it happen, Spear, One, Two, THREE! The fans will explode and Edge will be freakin made.

By virtue of the same token, it’s fantastic that John Cena defeated Batista for The WWE Title. Believe me, friends, I’m with you, in that this heel turn of Big Dave’s has him as good as he’s ever been in his career, but in terms of the story that was being told, this was the way it ha to go down. It’s also great that they had a back-and-forth match that went virtually the entire time with each man matching power for power and reversing and countering each other’s moves. With Taker/HBK following and closing the show, a match that would be emotional and, likely, with something of a more methodical pace, this had to be a full-bore war and that’s what it was.

Not to sound like a broken record, but I get the feeling Batista will invoke his rematch clause for an extreme rules match next month, and, I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind at all if he were to regain the belt. I mean, Cena had his moment, being forced into submission has to have sent The Altered Beast into a quality of pure rage it will be scary to witness. I wouldn’t want to be Cena in the coming month, would you?

What can be said about The Undertaker preserving his Streak and retiring Shawn Michaels? This one really didn’t need any hyperbole attached to it, I think this really was as big a match as it was promoted to be and I think the right decision was made, as much as it personally pains me to say as much. As I said last week, HBK can always come back to compete under special circumstances, but once The Streak is broken, it’s broken and can’t be taken back. This isn’t Drew McIntyre we’re talking about here. Mishandling The Streak disrespects Taker and all the men who’ve laid down for him at the biggest show of the year, notwithstanding the honor of being apart of such a legacy and the paycheck that goes with it.

Whether the match lived up to the hype or even to last year’s match is up to an individual to decide for him/herself. Last year’s bout was criticized somewhat for the lack of a coherent story, and in the end it didn’t really matter, because the match itself was so stellar, there really didn’t need to be much of a catalyst. This year, we saw one of the most important and emotional stories ever attached to a contest in place. Like I said, really, what can be said…?

Also, this is an interesting point to consider – with HBK retiring and Taker rumored to be taking time off beyond the scheduled European tour, the option for another face to step and be noticed arises on SmackDown!. Who might it be…?

On a personal note, I’m bummed about Michaels retiring, because, for all the PPVs, TV and house shows I’ve witnessed live in my life, I’ve never seen him perform in person. I was at Raw the night following WrestleMania 21 here in LA, where he cut a promo about his match with Kurt Angle, but I never saw him wrestle in the ring, and I now I may never. Sigh. I still have a photo of myself with the current WHC on my fridge.

That’s all for this week…we’ll hit comments next time! Right now I gotta submit this and get home to check out Raw! Thanks for reading!

RESPEEEEECK!!!