Five-Star Conversation 06.03.10: Title Talk, Brand-Exclusive PPVs, Michael Cole and WWE PG

Does anyone remember this guy?

This was awesome. I love the kids. The one could barely keep from laughing and the other one ended up being turned queer. Poor kid, you almost hear him soiling his Underoos.

With respect to the “title scenario”, I feel like the idea of a unified “top-title” creates a problem in that it limits the amount of workers who can feud. If the brands are to be totally separate, then the unified title-holder has to sort of float aimlessly between shows, maintaining some sort of bizarre triangle feud. Instead, a greater focus should be put on raising the stock of the championships the WWE holds now. Obviously the WWE puts emphasis on the WWE Championship and the WHC, but greater effort should be put into promoting the IC title and US championship than already is.
Posted By: MrPower

That’s kind of what I was thinking when I laid out my title reorganization.

That would also only work if they brought back the monthly brand-centric PPV’s. I think they are missing the boat with not having them. And like I said the main champion only defends on PPV. He could be on a RAW PPV and after he wins the number 1 contender from Smackdown could show up and lay a beating on the champ. Something like that, or if there is no clear number 1 contender from Smackdown they could start a new feud on RAW and split up the amount of time the champ is on each show. From Royal Rumble till July the Main WWE champ is on RAW, from SummerSlam till December he’s on Smackdown. I know my suggestion is not perfect but that’s why I’m not booking for a wrestling company right now. I just think that if Vince and the WWE would think about it in better terms they could come up with something great but they are so far up their own asses they can’t see the light of day.

I’m also sure there are millions of armchair bookers around the nation and they have some good ideas just not enough to keep an audience entertained for more then a month.
Posted By: Eric D

Okay, Eric, I’ve given your idea some thought and I like the notion of there being one champion to represent the company, The Unified WWE Champion. It really just makes sense that the juggernaut of the industry should have one man fans can look to as the one, true yardstick. As a great man has mentioned once or twice, to be the man you have to beat the man. Now, that’s become to be the man you have to beat the man…or you could beat that one over there…and still have no real resolution as to which is better. Now, granted, you can hold up the two to compare and contrast…I mean, now we have John Cena and Jack Swagger, the former booked as Superman, the other currently making Edge’s sneaky, underhanded ways look legitimate…and come to your own conclusions.

Granted, back in ye olde days when I was growing up, there was always this sort of dichotomy between The WWF and NWA Champions, and that was fine for then, but we don’t have to have that now, because we hold the reins and can write whatever scenario we like. The question is, what makes the most sense and what will end up being the most profitable. If WWE truly wants to create an air of competition between brands, such that the duel heavyweight champion template makes more old school sense in that way, then fine, take that route and stick to it. It should be noted that this was, indeed, the apparent goal when WWE decided to make each title brand exclusive, as part of the battle of the General Managers, Stephanie McMahon on SmackDown! and Eric Bischoff on Raw.

However, that level of competition has fallen by the wayside (I suspect that’s because SmackDown! ended up winning with Paul Heyman holding the book and writing superior stories to the sloppy, sports-entertainment muck going down on Raw at the time, such that The Silver & Blue was actually scoring higher numbers than the almighty Flagship show, but that’s juts one Kool-Aid drinking man’s opinion!). We see no competition between brands any longer…indeed, we’re now seeing SmackDown! GM Teddy Long and Raw GM Bret Hart (that still feels weird to say!) collaborating for next week’s three-hour Raw. So if the competitive streak has gone out of the shows, perhaps it’s time for the title infrastructure to reflect that…? It’s not an admission that the other concept has failed, just that the WWE business model continues to change and evolve and that which worked before with one set of characters need not necessarily work now with another.

In addition, I think we’re seeing the benefits of having a unified set of tag titles that are defendable on either show. Both brands, it seems to me, have benefitted greatly from the option of having talent like The Miz and Chris Jericho available to them and I get the sense that people care about the tag titles more so now than they did prior to the unification. Granted, the champions have been somewhat thrown-together singles performers as opposed to real bona fide teams, although I think Creative did a fine job allowing JeriShow and ShoMiz the opportunity to find some common ground, such that they felt like real teams with a consistent purpose for hooking up. However, now, with The Hart Dynasty as champions and the introduction of The Usos, perhaps now we can start to build a more solid foundation of real teams, as opposed to simply throwing together a couple of guys at a similar loose end.

(Still, though, his tenures with the belts have helped to elevate The Big Show from wayward upper-mid-carder to the number one contender to Swagger’s World Title, as well as laid the foundation for a face turn, so much good has come of this! We’ve also mentioned here in recent weeks the benefits The Miz has enjoyed simply from the visual strutting down the ramp with three belts has afforded him as he became further established as an honest-to-goodness legitimate heel.)

I’m afraid, though, that I need to backtrack on my comment from last week with respect to what appeared to be a burgeoning field of opponents for The Harts, though, as we’ve since seen the dissolution of Los Colons with the departure of Carlito, Vladimir Kozlov turning on William Regal (granted, he’ll likely find himself paired up with Santino Marella, but that will be for comedy “relief”) and the apparent fact that JTG and MVP will not be tagging after all. Aside from The Usos, then, obviously brought up out of necessity, that leaves the decidedly non-championship material of The DudeBusters and Vance Archer & Curt Hawkins rounding out the current tag ranks over on SmackDown!. True, The Harts could make an appearance to go over them, but we’re getting dangerously close to undoing all the groundwork we’ve worked so hard to accomplish over the last several months and that would be a shame.

Note: writing this initially, I forgot the burgeoning team of The Straight-Edge Society, Luke Gallows and “the mystery man”, who we discuss later in the article. Quite frankly, I really like this pairing, especially if the mystery man ends up being who I’m hearing it’s supposed to be almost as much as I like how they, with Serena in the corner, stack up against The Harts. Maybe we could see a multi-branded triple-threat scenario…? (Except that I fear McMahonagement has a distinct desire to keep the bulk of The UTTT situation on Raw for now.)

Nonetheless, I still can totally get behind the notion of a Unified World Champion. How about this – The UWC, allowed to go from one show to the other. To qualify for the honor of being the top dog, it stands to reason that the champ will be one of the company’s top draws, such that it makes sense for him to appear wherever he’s needed. For the purposes of this example, let’s refer to Cena as our UWC. I think it makes perfect sense for Cena to have a program against, say, Edge over the belt, but to also make appearances on SmackDown! to give a bit of a rub to some of the talent being conditioned on that brand, maybe to tag with Kofi Kingston, or to have the odd exhibition match against CM Punk? Maybe sew some seeds against Punk such that, when/if he retains against Edge, he has someplace to go and the next program already beginning to gestate, such that Cena spends the bulk of his time defending on Friday nights, dropping by Raw to deliver one of those promos the kids like so much.

Meanwhile, whichever brand The UWC isn’t on at the time, the GM is busy establishing a new number one contender with his top talent all vying to be named such. An outright tournament, a battle royal, or something a little more esoteric like the old school Pro Wrestling Illustrated rankings in the back of the magazine, based upon a cumulative win-loss record? I personally really favor that last option, because I’m an old school guy like that and it just makes sense that way. And, no, I’m not talking about this ignorance TNA has going on right now, where they give this lip service to fan recognition, book a crap match that doesn’t mean anything when the fans vote for someone Hogan doesn’t want to push.

However, I just can’t buy having a Raw and SmackDown! Champion on top of that. It just seems to undermine the point of having a) the top dog in the first place, and b) the secondary US and IC titles. With the TV Title, a notion that I greatly favor, and The UTTTs, that just seems like waaaay too much gold to be had all at once and I’m afraid they’d end up all being devalued as a consequence, mainly because I have yet to see a modern-day franchise that can write and push exciting, meaningful, coherent, consistent stories revolving around all titles simultaneously. It seems something always gets left out (like The UST – yes, as I said, it afforded The Miz a lot of clout to hold all that gold, but when did he ever defend The UST? The sword can cut both ways).

Rather, why not simply make a concerted effort to really elevating the secondary belts as if they’re important and not just props? There’s only a loose average of 17-20 singles wrestlers per brand at the moment (that average, of course, will increase once the NXT rookies get settled); having a UWT, a brand-specific championship, the secondary (or is it third, in this scheme…?), and a TVT, plus The UTTTs…have of each roster will have gold, and that makes each all the less valuable, simply because there’s so much to spread around.

In addition to that, I think by making The IC & US Titles the only brand-specific belts in the company, they help to really anchor the brand and become synonymous with it, therefore, carrying a sense of importance by so being. Obviously, there are two ways WWE can go with this – they can really build up said title, promoting that “This is the only place on television you’re going to see The UST defended!” and make it matter, or they can run a bunch of lip service to the concept and treat them like they did the CrusierWeights, allowing them a quality of exclusivity that, in the end, meant nothing because McMahonagement didn’t care about making the division mean anything (and actually pissing off and frustrating those of us who would have cared had it not been so poorly booked).

Finally, I mentioned supporting the creation of a WWE TVT. This would generally be your lower-level belt, something, say, over which one of the NXT rookies might compete once they land on a brand and all it home. In accordance with its’ namesake, it would be defended only on television, but on either brand (and Superstars isn’t a bad idea at all, either). If you like, we could go really old school with it and place the restriction of a time limit on the matches…I think :20 used to be the standard. I’d be in favor of that, as well, as the announcer calling out the time as a beloved face struggles to score the belt against a hated foe is drama that writes itself, and it’s a shame to relegate that to a Beat The Clock series. It’s a valuable storytelling tool of which WWE appears to be depriving itself and its’ fans, and that’s a shame.

I’d also like to say I don’t much care for the notion that The UWT would be defended only on PPV. Like neglecting to take full advantage of time limit booking, it seems to me that sequestering title defenses solely to PPV robs you of an advantage. Now, this doesn’t mean it can’t be defended on PPV 95% of the time, just don’t write yourself a rule it may make more sense to break down the road. Leave your options open such that you can book as you please, as long as your decisions respect the title and the talent defending and challenging for it. Basically, Mankind versus The Rock, good. Hulk Hogan versus Goldberg, bad.

Now, to the question of brand-specific PPVs. It’s my assumption that Vince would love to run a brand-specific PPV for both Raw and SmackDown! each month, likely barring, though, January for the Rumble, WrestleMania in March/April (depending) and August for SummerSlam. This, however, just isn’t feasible at the moment for a few reasons:

Having been one of the pioneers of PPV back in the ‘80s has kind of risen up and bitten Vince on the heinder, because once everyone else realized how much money there is to be made at that game, everyone developed a way to get involved. PPV options in The 21st Century is staggering and there’s a hell of a lot of competition for the consumer’s PPV dollar. Now that professional wrestling has returned to its’ status as a niche product, there are only so many buys WWE can reasonably expect; running two a month would very likely force many a potential buyer to choose between them, effectively negating the endeavor outright.

This brings us to the second reason – you may have noticed the economy doth sucketh at the moment. As much as we’d like to be able to have oodles of cash to drop on our recreational pursuits, be it myriad and sundry PPVs or, if you’re like Steve Cook, reminding yourself what female flesh feels like by letting go of your paycheck a dollar at a time at the titty bar, that simply is not the reality for the majority of us. Hell, even if all you were interested in was pro wrestling, there’s still a WWE and a TNA PPV each month on average, and, according to Time/Warner cable, comes to an extra $80.00 a month. For that kind of coin, they’d better be damn good PPVs.

That’s the other stickler. Oftentimes, they aren’t, even when they look good on paper. Thing is, though, back when WWE was running brand-exclusive PPVs, because of an acute lack of roster depth, the cards tended to be quite thin. Of course, that’s the patented WWE excuse. Another criticism is that Creative wasn’t doing its’ job in terms of creating a holistically-pleasing brand where all the healthy performers had an on-screen role…and that was before we started filling air-time on the Flagship show with “entertaining” guest-host spots that had nothing to do with the product. Like it or not, you have to admit that the PPVs at least started to look more attractive on paper and seemed to be more convincing buys once they started to merge the brands each month.

I can give WWE a pass on this one, simply, again, because it was a company forcing itself to find it’s feet upon its’ own changing landscape. At this point in the company’s history more than ever were we seeing Vince’s tried-and-true business model of throwing enough poo at the wall and waiting for something to stick. It seems to me now with such a wealth of youngsters coming up, that WWE is looking to start stacking its’ brand’s rosters (for the uninitiated, all of the season one NXT performers’ names have been trademarked by WWE, thereby implying that we can expect to see them start to pop up on either Mondays or Fridays very soon), perhaps with the intention of beefing up such rosters that a shift back to monthly brand-exclusive PPVs could again become the norm. We’ll have to see.

This is nothing I am against. Should we find ourselves in a better economic climate, performers can stay healthy (which is just about an impossibility, it seems, at the moment, with so many people cracking orbital bones and separating shoulders) and compelling, at least plausible and entertaining stories can be scripted for the talent, I wouldn’t mind seeing brand-exclusive PPVs come to pass at all. But certain blocks must be in place to create a stable staircase.

Cena = neo-Rock
Orton = neo-Austin
Swagger = neo-Angle

I couldn’t agree with you more on this. I’d even add the Miz as neo-long-haired Jericho.

@ Mr. Power – my idea was to have the Unified Champ float from show to show periodically. Stay with Raw for a couple of months, then move over to SD for a couple of months (similar to the old NWA champ going region to region). Then we don’t have the same match-ups over and over and over (and over!).

Linda McMahon’s senate run has me thinking (always dangerous) about the role of the divas. Now, we already know about the PG-ilization of the WWE (no bleeding, no cursing, etc), and I know we haven’t seen a bras and panties or good old fashioned jello slobberknocker in quite some time. However, the image of the diva is still skinny, big-boobs, and attractive. Not exactly the average american woman I dare to say. When is McMahon’s opponent going to use that against her? I’m surprised that the WWE doesn’t hire Kong, Hamada, and others to have some “thick” divas (although a black woman with the name KONG would probably get criticized in our over-PC friendly world and I couldn’t stand to have her change her name – Awesome Amy just doesn’t cut it) on the roster. Just wondering.

Also, got to give some props to the Homewrecker who is 12-3 on his post-WM PPV picks. The guy is kicking my 7-8 ass. You won’t see him commenting on the 5SC anytime soon. His feelings get hurt whenever you disagree with him. Sensitive artist types, you know the kind.

Have a good weekend.
Posted By: Angry Bear

Obviously, Bear, I’m completely with you on the UWC issue. Great minds, right…? I’m also on board with your assessment of The Miz. A big-mouthed, entertaining-as-hell mid-card guy paving his own way up the card. Not a chickenshit heel, but definitely a shit-talking heel, the kind who gets under your skin and yet you still want to cheer. I gotta say, I’m pleased to see R-Truth catching on in a big way with the fans (conveniently when WWE is reportedly looking to push a black wrestler), but I was solidly rooting for The Miz to reclaim The UST. I’ve said it often, I started believing in The Miz back when he first came to SmackDown! when I was analyzing the show for The R’s and it makes me happy to see him progressing so far, and so much farther than virtually anyone gave him credit for being able to get.

You know, I went a little mini-diatribe about how little overall has really changed in WWE since its’ “PG-ification” (my term…hahaha), but I completely forgot the whole “no blood” thing. Now people want to blame their acne in middle school on WWE having gone PG, when it’s obviously just not so; however, stopping matches the way they’re doing when someone gets a little hard-way color is just fucking ridiculous. It absolutely takes a dump all over the continuity of the match and the story they’re trying to tell and, quite frankly, it makes the guy who got opened up look like a pussy, all because Susie and Little Zinger in the front row need to be protected from the gruesome sight of a little blood. No more blading? I’m fine with that, but all these little snot-noses watching might tend to be a little more wary of “trying this at home” if they saw a little more real-life consequences of the action in the ring. Sorry, I know I went off there, but I realized how badly I had softballed that issue last time when I failed to really think it all through.

Once again, do we agree, this time on your assessment of the Divas, but you have to tread lightly there, my friend, because that debate has been going on since women were allowed to start to speak up about that sort of thing. I mean, how old is the Barbie doll, anyway? Quite frankly, that argument works in the converse, as well…I mean, how many men on the roster reflect the average American male? I know, women are more sensitive, generally speaking, to the whole body issue concern, but don’t forget, too, the whole alleged point of the Divas – they’re beautiful, they’re intelligent and they’re athletic. We’re supposed to believe that they’re legitimate athletes, the same as the men, even though they only exist to give Steve Cook a column.

Should Linda come under fire from her opponent about the nature and role of the Divas and basically call a spade a spade, you know she’ll put the old McMahon spin on the situation and suggest that those who view the Divas solely as sex objects are missing the point and themselves reading into the situation that which they wish to see, not recognizing that WWE is encouraging the girls and young ladies in The WWE Universe to adopt the healthy and athletic lifestyles the Divas enjoy outside of the ring. Or, she could just go her old route:

BTW, my friend, I realize I owe you an e-mail. In good time!

There’s nothing that I enjoy more on here than seeing footage of the biggest WWE troll in sports entertainment Michael Troll getting his ass royally handed to him by Bryan Danielson. Ok so it’s a work or shoot or whatever. The fact is just seeing Cole whipped like a bitch made my highlight reel.
Posted By: Paul Westbrook

Paul, I couldn’t agree with you more. So, just for you and those, as the great Peter Frampton once said, feel like we do, here’s a special little something:

My hatred for Cole Slaw is very specific. Danielson referring to Cole as a parrot couldn’t be more correct, and you don’t have to know Vince is feeding him lines from the Gorilla position to be able to tell this is true. For some reason known only to Vince himself and the good Lord above, Vince apparently has seen something in Cole for him to have managed to stick around for well over a decade and rise to the position of #1 play-by-play man in the company (God, did it send a cold chill down my spine to type that), and I think that has to have something with his spineless willingness to be molded into anything Vince wanted him to become.

Go back to those early days of SmackDown! and listen to his commentary. Sure he was green, but that’s to be expected and is understandable. It’s my opinion that his commentary has actually depreciated in overall value as a result of Vince square-pegging him into becoming what we have now, as opposed to allowing him develop organically, I suppose you could say the announcing equivalent of forcing wrestlers to read scripts as opposed to allowing them to explore their own characters by bullet-pointing promos and letting them go.

But listen to Cole. His commentary his a patchwork quilt of the same seemingly pre-programmed catch phrases (it goes a hell of a lot deeper than “vintage”, friends) and general vocabulary. Have you noticed it’s never anything but a “spine” or a “skull”? Never “vertebrae” or “cranium” or anything else he might excavate from a Thesaurus. And do you know why? If you’re familiar with classic wrestling and really pay attention to the commentary, you can hear Cole’s weak echo in the call of old matches. Not only can you eventually identify who was on his prescribed “study list”, you can practically visualize him in front of a monitor, legal pad in his lap, pencil in hand, scribbling down a short list of go-to catch phrases, muttering to himself, “‘Sickening thud’…got it…”

Now don’t get me wrong, I admire his work ethic, because virtually anyone who ever has something to say about Cole brings up how hard he works and how dedicated to his craft he is. But if you work that hard to become such a bland, cookie cutter, corporate puppet who is as bad as he is at what he does, what does that say about you, except that you’re at least only smart enough to establish job security? Don’t you think, somewhere in his heart of hearts, he has to know that he’s exactly what Danielson said he is, a poor man’s replacement for Jim Ross and be embarrassed about it?

This all aside from the whole angle on NXT between Cole and Danielson, that appears to be walking that line between work and shoot, as the views Cole espouses apparently reflect his real life feelings. I have no problems allowing someone who is actually involved in the business to hold his own views on the industry leader versus the independents; I’d certainly hope he’d allow us the same luxury. It’s a free country and all. I can even agree to a point, in that, as good as a performer has been in one area of the business, he still has yet to prove himself in another specific one, which, in this case, happens to be the big time. Sure, that’s a fair assessment.

What irritates me about the whole thing is that here’s someone who has only Jameson to rival him as the biggest geek in the history of the business handing out judgments on the topic on someone who could snap his neck and send him home crying to his mother with poo in his pants and calling him a geek because he’s following the technology trend that has the whole civilized world in its’ back pocket. And it’s under these auspices that Cole is finally evolving a character after over a dozen years…that hasn’t carried over on to Raw until just a couple weeks ago! Here he is being a self-righteous little prick on NXT after spending the night before on a two-hour mutual hand-job-under-the-desk fest with Jerry Lawler the night before. Sigh. I don’t think I’d be so upset about it if I didn’t actually really love good commentary, appreciate what it brings to the product and know that we’re stuck with a schmuck like Cole.

One last thing with regard to Danielson, does anyone think there could be a little cross-promotion between the Ricky Steamboat DVD and him? Imagine Steamboat coming in to promo his upcoming DVD release and he bumps into Danielson backstage. They have a conversation where they each express an admiration for the other’s work and something somehow goes down such that Steamboat sort of gives his blessing to Danielson to run with the WWE “Dragon” moniker? Just something I’m throwing out there.

Geoff, great idea with HHH and Sheamus. Onto Y2Awesome, I get the feeling they may have a feud. They both seem to have lost everything and maybe they will blame each other. About Finlay, I heard that Vince has deemed him “too old” and he is working behind the scenes now. I don’t know about Reks.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth

I have to say, I don’t think my HHH/Sheamus idea is original, Schmoove; I think another reader a little while ago suggested it to me and it kinda stuck, because manly, yes, but I like it, too (If you get that, you’re awesome).

Speaking of the Irish, I’ve not heard that about Finlay, but I can see it being true, which is a shame. I was really looking forward to seeing what could become of a Finlay/Dolph Ziggler program, specifically, how Ziggler would grow as a performer from going through some :15-:20 matches on the house circuit with The Fighting Irishman, especially considering the whole Hornswoggle lead-in would make for a copasetic story, but I guess that’s not to be. Still, though, does anyone recall how markedly the Divas work improved during the time Finlay was working with them several years ago (unless I’m mistaken, he was instrumental in the transformation of Trish Stratus)? Not quite the same as the proverbial immersion process, but we could see positive results regardless.

great column. never blamed bret for losing his cool in montreal to be humiliated on live ppv. there was a better way to work with bret. and yet that was the turning point in the monday night wars. wwf took the attention from their backstabbing bret and ran with it. wcw didnt use bret the right way at all if they did use him and he has to wait 2 years to get a world title shot. goldberg kicks him into retirement owens death stroke recovery i hope brets with wwe as long as he wants to be. he deserves it.
Posted By: mr x.

I agree, and I’m still all warm and fuzzy over the personal reconciliation Bret’s latest run has afforded me. I like liking Bret.

In terms of what was going on when Bret left WWE, Vince allowed it, as he said in the whole “Bret screwed Bret” promo with Ross, because he felt Bret had ceased to be the kind of draw that deserved the equity earned by the 20 year contract Bret signed with The WWF in 1996, and Bret had realized that he was going to be playing second fiddle to Shawn Michaels, to say nothing of Steve Austin, who was starting to catch fire at the time, and so both regretfully came to what each felt was the decision for himself at the time. Vince was right, because he was able to take that equity going to Bret and use it to rebrand his company (thanks largely to the good eye of Ross, who was the Vice President of Talent Relations at the time and was largely responsible for assembling the roster that led The WWF to its’ highest grossing period in its’ history). On the other hand, Bret was wrong, because he ended up Bischoff’s pawn, proving to Vince that he could buy anyone out of Vince’s locker room he wanted, even someone three years into a 20-year contract.

And as much as I despise that greed-mongering sham, Goldberg, it wasn’t his fault Bret was forced into retirement. True, Bret took a mistimed boot to the head from Goldberg, giving him a concussion, but that concussion went undiagnosed by the geniuses in WCW and by Bret himself, who opted to tough it out. Had he taken the time to sit out and rest up and heal, he may have been all right; however, not wanting to be like other members of the WCW roster at the time sitting out and raking in Turner’s cash because they stubbed their tow, and like Danielson coming to WWE, was still an unproven commodity in WCW and had a lot to prove. As a consequence, he continued to wrestle and in subsequent matches, took chair shots to the head, and from no less than The Hardcore Legend himself, Terry Funk. His conditioned compounded and worsened and it was the cumulative effect that cost The Hitman his career.

I’ve been following wrestling since 1981 and I never cared for the condescending, plodding, predictable, conservative-values-pushing, mafia-aligned, talent-backstabbing, roids-pushing WWF/New York style. I guess it made a modicum of sense when the roster was packed with guys like Ivan Putski, Swede Hanson, Ted Arcidi, Uncle Elmer and John Studd in 4-inch heels. Occasionally they hire good workers or do good things, but mostly WWE sitting on top of wrestling is THE worst-case scenario for the industry. I would much rather see PWG, Chikara, Shimmer, AAA, or a regional indy, even at the same price as a WWE ticket, because WWE simply treats people badly, takes the wrong backwards stand on many issues, and does not write stories that speak to me. That they have become the industry leaders is a testament to how ignorant, lazy, self-hating, trashy and apathetic America has become. Are they really, honestly getting better ratings from ‘writers’ who got fired from Moesha and Nickelodeon for poor performance? With Mike Rotundo, Dean Malenko, Arn Anderson, Dusty Rhodes, Norman Smiley, Steve Keirn, Finlay et al in the company I would expect strong booking. But instead I see horrid booking and people blaming Gewirtz (how does that pencil-neck geek STILL have a job?) and Stephanie and Jen Whatshername with No Brain. It’s sad, but I guess there really is something to the reports of Vince surrounding himself with castrati yesmen…or being so vulnerable to their persuasions that they simply mob him everywhere he goes.
Posted By: Yogurt Drupal III

Okay, first of all, the image conjured by the phrase “John Studd in four-inch heels” sent a cold shiver down my back, although it was certainly preferred to the one I got envisioning Vince surrounded by castrati yes-men enjoying a lazy afternoon on the deck of the “Sexy Bitch”…!

I’m so glad somebody else sees WWE as a “conservative-values-pushing” company. That’s a view I’ve long held myself, but have been quite reticent to discuss here. I’m not sure how relevant a discussion that would inspire to a general audience, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone, although I’m not going to go so far as to draw any comparisons between the state of WWE and the country.

And let’s not point too many fingers at Vince and the way he runs his company…I mean, the professional wrestling industry has been a pretty shitty business for longer than you and I have been watching (I came in about two years after you) and has a long history of awful promoters looking out for his own best interests well before the good of his performers…or even the promotion he was running. I know it took a hell of a lot of public, media and governmental pressure for The Wellness Program to be implemented and even to have evolved into what it’s become (flawed as it still is), and it could be argued that it’s set up more to railroad public relations issues such as Umaga’s death would have been (and hopefully something we won’t see in Carlito’s case, as the details are pretty damn similar thus far), but at least the company has stepped in and offered to help in the rehabilitation process prior to letting go of talent. That, at least, is an admirable end, regardless of the possibly self-serving corporate intention.

But, man, am I with you as far as the baffling mystery of how so much of the booking can be so, shall we say, questionable, and how so many non-wrestling minds can be in charge of creating it when there are so many wrestling legends on hand and under contract! Why are they not even consulted? One wonders exactly what entails a road agent…oops, I mean “producer” role in WWE these days…Nice comment, Doc.

Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) will be on Smackdown indeed. He however will be part of the Straight-Edge society. I believe he’s the masked man that has popped out the last few weeks.
Posted By: Phil

Actually, Phil, it’s my understanding that the sXs mystery man is former MNM member Joey “Mercury” Matthews. If what I’ve heard is true, there could be something of a shoot going on in pairing him with CM Punk. Matthews himself has admitted to having been a drug addict for 15 years and, as a result of the ridiculous ladder bump he took at Armageddon:

…he got hooked on painkillers and was subsequently “future endeavor-ed”. This encouraged him to clean up his act once and for all and I’m hearing Punk was instrumental in helping him. If so, allowing Matthews into sXs is a real life testament to the healing power of Punk!

Holy cow does this article suck! Something always bugs me about these guys who have their heads so far up HHH/Shawn/Vince’s ass. Terrible. Back to the drawing board with you, you half-witted wordsmith.
Posted By: G-Unit (Guest) on May 25, 2010 at 02:12 AM

This is too wordy. Make a point and move on. I don’t care what the Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder troglodytes think either. Fuck them and their little rays of sunshine. Fuck it. I’m tired.
Posted By: Napolean bonaparte IV (Guest) on May 25, 2010 at 02:27 AM

Are you fucking kidding? I can’t read all of that. Cut it down. Beginning – POINT – End. Do you really think I have all day to sit at work and read this shit? Jesus, man.

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If you three would learn to correctly read the beginning of the column it’s a reader feedback and comment article. Which in simple plan terms means that Geoff is replying to feedback and comments that he has gotten over the past few weeks.

I know I’m feeding the trolls here but damn I am happy that Geoff has taken the time to read what I had to offer in the form of my own opinion, yeah it was a tad bit long I agree but I couldn’t shorten it and make the same point.

I enjoy this column and I look forward to making comments or leaving feedback so I can have a discussion on the state of wrestling. I know I’ll never be a good enough writer to write for this site so having some of my comments posted gives me a good feeling. So if you three are to dimwitted to not read the column the way it was written or to just click back on your browser then I suggest you go to WWE.com where there are tons of pretty pictures for you to look at and not much text to have to read.
Posted By: Eric D

No, are YOU fucking kidding? Who are these people?! Do you think they’d fly into a rage if they were ever to walk into a library? “WHO HAS TIME TO READ ALL THIS SHIT?! IF YOU CAN’T FIT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ONTO THE FIRST PAGE, FUCK IT!! STOP HIJACKING MY PRECIOUS THREE-MINUTE DAILY ALLOTMENT OF READING TIME!!!”
Posted By: KanyonKreist

Thank you, Eric and Double K, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love it when the comments police themselves. Comments like those used to really bother me, but I can’t be bothered to emotionally invest anymore, especially when there are obviously people with intelligence, patience and, apparently, time at work to read an article with substance.

The first guy and I have a basic difference of opinion. I like HBK and Tri. He doesn’t. He gets angry and resorts to name-calling as a result, I’m guessing, because his mom blocked all the porn sites. The second guy is just like my mother…he’s never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other…? This column is too wordy, other columns are for ADDled troglodytes (If it helps, I enjoyed Cyrus’ commentary, too). Hope you feel better after you nap, Goldilocks, and find a column that’s juuuuust right! The last guy is obviously pissed because he can’t read the whole column on his lunch break at Taco Bell. Can’t please everybody.

Obviously, this column’s not for everybody (just the sexy people! Look at that…an old school Prince and The Time reference in the same response!). That’s one of the characteristics that makes this site the best on the web, because if you take the time to look around, you’re gonna find a couple columns that really speak to you and your preferences, just like the web in general. Some folks read the New York Times, others wish they had a black and white monitor so they could color the screen…and this time, even stay in the lines! I think we all know where we stand.

You should really check out Bret’s book, Eubanks. Like him or not, it’s still the best pro wrestling book ever written. I’ll mail you my copy if you want.

Also, I think anybody who says Drew McIntyre is getting “the wrong kind of heat” is saying so from a very smarky perspective. “No no, THIS is how the GOOD heels do it…” Don’t be so linear! Heels don’t ALL have to subscribe to the Flair/HHH/Edge/etc. formula of obnoxious promos and cheap wins week after week. There are more ways than one to get heat. One really good way is to be in an advantageous position that you DON’T DESERVE. That’s how people in REAL SPORTS get heat all the time! “Man, fuck the Yankees; they’re only contenders because they’ve got the deepest pockets!” While I agree that McIntyre hasn’t used his position to accomplish as much as he should have by now (in the context of kayfabe), the “chosen champion” gimmick has worked well historically, when it’s the right guy with the belt. The Rock or Triple H, for instance.

Speaking of champions, I’m deeply disappointed in the meaningless way in which the Miz dropped the U.S. Title twice in as many weeks. He should’ve had the Honky Tonk reign with that strap, if you ask me. Why? Because the belt does nothing for anyone on the card but him! What does a U.S. Title victory do for Truth, really? Is he higher on the card than he was a week ago? In my opinion, his non-title win over DiBiase at the PPV meant more than taking the U.S. strap, mostly because the former was part of an ANGLE. An angle that PAID OFF. The U.S. Title arguably meant more when the Miz had it than it has since they forged the tacky motherfucker. As such, it would have benefited all parties involved to keep the belt on Miz for as long as it took for a somebody who’s on their way UP the card to show up and win it from him in a MEANINGFUL fashion.
Posted By: KanyonKreist

Thanks, man! I think I’ll take you up on that offer to read Bret’s book! Hit me up. Even when I was in staunch disagreement with a lot of what I was hearing coming out of Bret, I was still curious about his book because he’d been around for so long, has such a rich history, a unique upbringing and is such an eloquent speaker. Now that I’m down with The Hitman, I think I’ll enjoy it a lot more than I would have before.

You make a great point in McIntyre’s regard…as long as the fans buy it, and I don’t think they really did for a good, long time. But it seemed to me McMahonagement was determined to stick by him and make sure he got over, which was the point I was trying to make. Considering how quickly we’ve seen them bring in and then quickly abandon young talent in the past, such perseverance is really commendable. Getting over a new talent, face or heel, takes time while fans sort out for themselves if they feel such a talent is worth the investment or if Vince simply providing them with a bathroom break.

Going the route they went with The ICT and by involving Kofi Kingston the way they did was smart and a fine duel purpose move, because it seemed to me the first time fans really were investing in the situation. The question is, though, did that all come about as a result of the fans’ decided love affair with Kofi and their desire to see him as their champion, or do fans really hate McIntyre the way WWE intends for them to do? This is where time will tell, if McIntyre can take that heat and stoke it as he continues his program with Matt Hardy.

I have to agree with you only in part with respect to The UST, The Miz and Truth, though. McMahonagement pulled a straight up TNA move by booking themselves into a corner with the whole Bret Hart thing. Again, something that looked nice in theory, but when looking at the whole wide-screen panorama of the situation, there really was very little they could do but formulate a means by which it made sense for Bret to drop the belt, which, agreed, put a big ol’ dent in the credibility The Miz’ reign gave it.

But did The Miz give the belt as much as it gave him? We discussed how he benefitted coming to the ring practically gilded under three titles and they gave him the clout he needed to shoot off his mouth and be the perfect asshole (that, if you think about, helped to elevate Show in the process and foster his main event face turn on SmackDown!). But how often The Miz actually defend that title over his seven month reign? There were times I had to wonder…hasn’t been a month…? Is The Miz being allowed a little leeway in the “titles must be defended at least once a month” stipulation because he’s a duel champion? If so, should duel championships be allowed? I think The Miz is as awesome as he says he is, but let’s be pragmatic. Rules are rules…or at least they should be. This could very well be another example of WWE booking for convenience, and not consistency, the same old “jobbing Peter to push Paul”, only in this case, Peter is The UST.

I hated the way Bret forfeited the title. Actually, he didn’t forfeit it at all. We found out he’d given it up in an outro bumper as we went to commercial as the single match to decide the new champion was announced. That was cheap and absolutely anti-climatic and it was a situation that could have gone a long way toward restoring the integrity hot-shotting the belt to Bret cost it.

Also, you ask if Truth is any farther up the card than he was without the belt. I think so, because we’ve seen his popularity gradually grow over the last several months and that increase has been reflected in his move from SmackDown! to Raw. Now he’s the secondary champion on the Flagship show. That’s quite a statement in my book. However, to tie this back to the original point, I think it would be an unarguable point that he’s on the rise if there had been a more meaningful road to naming a new USC than, “Oh, yeah, by the way, since Bret’s GM, he dropped the belt and now these guys are gonna fight over it.”

We could have seen Bret come out after the whole Batista deal wearing the belt and he explains how, even though he’s a Canadian, he’s proud to have been the USC five times. But, because of the conflict of interest inherent in being the new GM of Raw, he’s forfeiting the championship and announcing a tournament to find a new champion. Or if they knew going in to Over The Limit that they were putting the strap on Truth (Strap-On Truth…? Is that what Wonder Woman has instead of the lasso in the porno version?), they could have made his match against DiBiase a number one contender’s match for The UST. It would have given their match a little extra gravity and, again, made The UST seem a little more important. DiBiase would have had some fuel, too, delivering a cocky pre-match promo about how he was going to have the satisfaction of defeating Truth and teaching him a lesson before he went on to defeat Bret the next night on Raw to become (holds The Million Dollar Belt high) a duel champion.

That’s all for this week…thanks for reading!

RESPEEEECK!!!