wrestling / Video Reviews
Guerrilla Reviewfare: PWG All Star Weekend XI (Night Two)
Loading...So after a white-hot BOLA, PWG got off to a tame start in its follow-up weekend. After the ridiculous match quality 2015 had given us, Night 1 of this edition of All Star Weekend hadn’t exactly set the world on fire. Nonetheless, it was a very good show that is Show of The Year quality for almost any other promotion, so what is there to complain about? Plus tonight’s card is a monster of a wrestling show, including a sequel to the Guerrilla Warfare match from Night 2 of BOLA that I gave five stars to. So let’s see if PWG can overcome Mount Rushmore 2.0 as we head into the last show of 2015…
We are TAPED from the American Legion in Reseda, CA.
Your hosts are Excalibur and the usual guests.
Chuck Taylor vs. Kikutaro
Talk about a match I didn’t think I’d ever see in 2015 PWG! Kikutaro is one of the best comedy wrestlers to ever do it, and is a part of one of my favorite matches ever from ROH’s The Final Showdown, in a four-way with Delirious, Jack Evans & Samoa Joe. Pair him up with one of my favorite wrestlers in Chuckie T, and you’ve got my attention.
Kikutaro takes the mic and declares how HAPPYYYYYYY he is to be back in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. Kikutaro fakes a handshake after some good rambling but GETS PINNED IN THREE SECONDS! * I mean, it was three seconds, how am I supposed to give a good analysis? I suppose the psychology of Kikutaro trying to goad Chuckie in with friendship was nice, but Chuck is notoriously pessimistic, so you’d have to think he’d get the joke. And it appears he did, and Kikutaro is out as soon as he came in. Shame, really.
Kikutaro is very frustrated by his loss, so he begs Chuckie for one more match. He outlines his anger by saying he’s been filming Wrestling Road Diaries 3, and he didn’t want to leave. So he begs Chuckie for one more match!
Chuck Taylor vs. Kikutaro
Well, Chuck is quite the competitor, because he’s earned his win tonight and he came out like a valiant soldier ready to do it again. Put the title on him, I say.
Kikutaro makes the same mistake of bringing Chuckie in for another fake handshake, but luckily kicks out of the same pin combo that got him just minutes before. God I forgot how awesome Kikutaro was. Chuckie kicks Kiku out of the ring, but Kiku just casually moves from a pescado which angers the Kentucky Gentleman, who asks why Kikutaro didn’t catch him. Chuckie hits Kiku with Sole Food, but Kikutaro dodges the moonsault and knees Chuckie in the dick. Rick Knox objects to this, so Kiku starts a shoving match with Rick Knox that ends in Knox pushing Kiku into Chuckie’s nether region. Kiku tries to Avalanche Chuckie in the corner, but he runs into Chuckie’s boot every time. Kiku WHIPS RICK KNOX INTO A BACK ELBOW ON CHUCK TAYLOR! Kiku finally Flair Flops after eating a 4th boot, but misses another moonsault. Chuckie plays possum with a knee injury, but can’t take advantage. Kiku hits a sneaky low blow followed by a hilarious Fargo Strut, but Chuckie catches Kiku with one of his own. Rick Knox eats one too! THE SLOW MO CHOPS OF DEATH!~! Chuckie says “Enough of this shit” and goes for another moonsault, but Kikutaro grabs him AND HITS GO 2 SHIT~! Rick Knox can’t count due to his crotch injury though. Kiku grabs Chuckie in a front facelock and cuts “a Davey Richards promo” and calls his finisher – the Brainbuster – but Chuckie suplexes out. He has Chuckie in the corner again, and tries to get Rick Knox to do more of the work for him, but Chuckie dosido’s him into a lariat on Kiku! Cradle by Chuck gets the win in 10 minutes. *** Listen guys, I know star ratings are for traditional wrestling matches, but they’re also a useless and abritrary tool for reviewing them so who really cares? Way I see it, I loved every second of this, and I’m going to give it a rating to reflect that despite its general lack of technical prowess. I love Kikutaro and I love Chuck Taylor, and they had a hilariously ridiculous match that was as perfect as you could want to open a PWG show. Do I want to see it every month? Not really, but I don’t see the issue with having it open a show once in a blue moon. And hey, it’s my review and I’m not getting paid the ad revenue from your views, so I’ll like a Kikutaro/Chuck Taylor match if I feel like it. This was everything I wanted out of this match, and thus you will hear no complaints from me.
Kikutaro takes the mic again and offers Chuckie another handshake, of which the Kentucky Gentleman is wary of. But Kikutaro means well this time, and Chuckie leaves without harm. It’s hard to understand him with PWG’s crappy sound system so a lot of the fun is lost on me, but I do hear him say he’s moving to the US in 2016! HERE’S MOUNT RUSHMORE! Those sons of bitches, I was enjoying rewinding to hear what he said! Kikutaro walks out to a standing ovation after Mt. Rushmore does their thing. Well that’s a good way to get me to root against them in the main event.
Marty Scurll vs. Timothy Thatcher
Marty Scurll had a very fun match with Ricochet last night, while Thatcher was absent trying to rid the world of kneepads. Either way, this match is going to be tremendous fun so who am I to judge?
“Timothy Thatcher’s face is a real life representation of Kikutaro’s mask.” – Chris Hero. Thatcher is one big ol’ fucker too, it must be said. Marty is able to keep up on the grappling front with Thatcher though, mixed with some theatrics as he escapes Thatcher’s various holds. The crowd chants PARTY MARTY at Scurll, who asks the fans to look at his ass as it clearly says “villain”. Thatcher hilariously just stands and mean-mugs as this goes on. Thatcher just resorts to lifters and boots to send Marty to the mat, but Marty is resilient. Marty slaps Thatcher into oblivion on the outside, and comes out on top of him with a Lope Suicida! He isn’t done though, as he runs to the apron and superkicks Thatcher off of his feet. Marty has control of Thatcher as they head back to the ring, throwing Thatcher down by his arm. Marty tries for a surfboard, but Thatcher’s big ass ain’t letting it happen. That’s no issue for Marty though, as he curb-stomps Thatcher’s knees into the mat, followed by a sick basement dropkick to the face. Marty finds himself in trouble as Thatcher catches him in a gutwrench, and he JUST DEADLIFTS HIM AROUND AT WILL! This guy is AWESOME. Scurll nearly gets the win with a backslide, but he runs right into a Butterfly Suplex and a Fujiwara from Thatcher! Scurll superkicks Thatcher’s knee out from under him, but Thatcher takes mount and nearly gets the pin from a cradle. Scurll POWERBOMBS Thatcher, but Timothy powers out at 2. Scurll looks for the Chickenwing, but Thatcher isn’t having it and tries for the Fujiwara Armbar again! Thatcher catches an upkick from Scurll, and turns it into an Ankle Lock! Scurll locks in the Chickenwing out of nowhere! Thatcher is able to get his foot on the rope after a struggle. Scurll goes after Thatcher’s arm and snaps his fingers! Thatcher is PISSED, and he just lays in some elbows, but MARTY PUTS IN CATTLE MUTILATION! Thatcher rolls through and counters into a Fujiwara! Marty rolls through and superkicks Thatcher, and hits a Basement Dropkick to the face. He SPITS IN THATCHER’S FACE, and slaps him to hell, BUT THATCHER FOLDS HIM WITH A HEADBUTT!~! Thatcher gets the win at the 18 minute mark. ***3/4 I know my analysis is usually the selling point for my reviews, but the only thing that really comes to my mind after this match is “awesome.” Thatcher’s style runs such a risk of being a self-indulgent “I can roll around on the mat better than you” fad, but there’s something about him that wipes all of those fears away. It’s not like that piece of crap Tommy End/Drew Gulak match from BOLA where all they did was lay on the canvas and hold each other’s leg for 10 minutes. Thatcher goes out there and uses every move he makes to advance his aim in the match all the while being this big, ugly brute with zero fucks to give, and it comes out great every time. I just loved the chemistry he and Scurll had as opponents here. Marty is the charismatic British guy who comes out to piss people off and have fun, while Thatcher as I said, could not care less about entertaining anybody. The best part was though, Scurll was having a good amount of success going hold-for-hold with Thatcher, but the strikes became the deciding factor in the end, as well as Scurll’s aforementioned affinity for angering people. So all in all, a tremendous match that pretty much rockets its way to the top of the weekend in terms of quality.
Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa vs. The Unbreakable F’N Machines
Both teams had decent outings against The Young Bucks and American Wolves respectively, but neither match really lit the world on fire. Given Gargano’s past efforts against Michael Elgin though, I’m willing to give this one a chance.
Gargano and Elgin have a fast paced exchange to start things off until Elgin stops Gargano in his tracks with an elbow to the face. Gargano taunts too much for Elgin’s taste, and sooner than later both he and Ciampa eat some shoulder tackles for their troubles. Gargano hits Elgin with the rolling kick, but he runs into a Gorilla Press WITH ONE ARM!~! Jesus Christ. Ciampa tries to stop the delayed Vertical from Big Mike, and the Machines SWITCH because they can. They literally switch back and forth a good five times until Cage squats and finally drops Johnny down. Now it’s Ciampa’s turn to hang in the air for an unreasonably long time. Ciampa and Johnny however find the upperhand, going after Cage’s leg. Cage is able to fight back against Ciampa, and Gargano doesn’t have much luck with him either, falling to the Rack Breaker as Chris Hero calls it. Here comes BIG MIKE!~! with a flying forearm and a slingshot splash. Elgin lariats Ciampa on the apron, and Elgin ragdolls both men around with Germans. Gargano superkicks Elgin, but runs into an Alabama Slam from Cage. Sandwich lariat, and Cage finishes Gargano off with a discus lariat for two! Cage eats the Slingshot Spear from Gargano, who superkicks Elgin from the apron! He low-bridges Cage out to the floor, and he tope’s out onto the Machines, who catch him! Ciampa tries to do the same, but Elgin and Cage THROW GARGANO AT HIM! Cage eats a rope-hung Flatliner and a slingshot DDT from Ciampa and Gargano respectively, but Elgin is able to break it up. Elgin goes crazy elbowing Ciampa and Gargano, but after a hearty Fuck You, he eats stereo boots to the head, as does Cage. Buckle Bomb on Ciampa after a crazy sequence, but Ciampa ROLLS THROUGH INTO A JACKNIFE! Elgin is able to kick out, as CAGE CATCHES CIAMPA COMING OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH GARGANO ON HIS SHOULDERS! FUCKING MACHINE SUPERPLEX! SUPER FALCON ARROW! Elgin Bomb on Ciampa gets the win for the Machines in 17 minutes. ***1/2 This was on the verge of dragging a bit about halfway through – which is why my rating plateaus where it does – but boy did they ramp it up near the end. I’m not sure the Elgin and Cage team is the best use for them if we’re being honest – Cage would probably be better as the heavy in a tag team – but here, they went a ways to prove me wrong, really coming together as a cohesive unit better than they have since probably early 2013. Elgin continues to show more personality, and Cage is slowly but surely starting to refine himself in the ring, and it showed here. Gargano and Ciampa did a great job of playing the defacto heels here, much like the Wolves did the night before, and it made for some good chemistry in the slower portions. This is about on par with the Wolves/Machines match from Night 1, but a definite improvement on Gargano and Ciampa’s end.
Mark Andrews vs. Ricochet
Prince Puma vs. Mandrews, the match we never knew we wanted. The Skateboard vs. The Puma. Lucha Underground vs. TNA. Well, when you put it that way it’s kind of hard to get excited about it, but you know what I mean.
It’s the usual technical feeling out stuff to start things off. Andrews whiffs a headscissors early, but makes up for it by spinning for like six years until he headscissors Ricochet over. A bulldog scores for Andrews for a two count, but Ricochet fires back with an enzuigiri. Ricochet hits an enzuigiri and a standing shooting star, but only gets two out of it. Andrews COUNTERS A BRAINBUSTER INTO A STUNNER! RICOCHET DEADLIFTS HIM INTO THE REGALPLEX! Fantastic sequence, if I do say so myself. Ricochet hits a huge Blue Thunder Bomb for another close two count. Ricochet misses the Phoenix Splash, and hits a Dragon Kid esque Rana for a two count! HUGE REVERSE RANA FROM ANDREWS! SPRINGBOARD RANA SCORES~! RICOCHET KICKS OUT! Ricochet dodges a Shooting Star, but Andrews catches the Benadryller. Ricochet hits it again on a second attempt and picks up the win in 10 minutes. ***1/2 That’s probably as good a ten minute match as you’re ever going to see. They didn’t waste much time early, instead opting to give the crowd more bang for their buck and that paid off in dividends in the final product. Mark Andrews has the most beautiful hurricanranas in the business based on this match, like something out of a 2006 Dragon Gate match or something. They sequenced together some nutty sequences in their small time allocation too, and altogether really made for a fantastic piece of wrestling. Great stuff.
Trevor Lee vs. Matt Sydal
Trevor Lee had a great outing with Will Ospreay during Night 1, which probably could have gotten Match of the Night honors had it gone a few minutes longer, while Matt Sydal had a really good title match against Roderick Strong. Hopefully we get some more douchebag Trevor Lee heel-isms because I enjoyed them wholesomely last night.
Matt Sydal is a house of fire early, dodging a Trevor attack and taking control. Trevor stops Matt as he climbs into the ring, but Sydal hits a perfect Frankensteiner to keep it going… that is until Trevor counters in a gutwrench, that Sydal then counters into a cradle for a nearfall. Afterwards, Sydal goes after Lee’s leg with the Namaste submission thing. Lee is back on top after a few moments though, heeling it up again. Trevor sandbags a top rope Frankensteiner from Sydal, but Sydal hits him in mid-air with a spinning wheel kick form his troubles. Sydal builds up a head of steam with the Slice and the standing moonsault for a close nearfall. Sydal slows his roll by snapping the rope in Sydal’s eyes, and he hits the deadlift German for a two count! Sydal knees out of an Orange Crush, but Lee hits the Crossbody Moonsault for two! Trevor puts Sydal up top for a superplex, but Sydal drops down and kicks him off. Sydal misses the Shooting Star Press, but COUNTERS A POPUP POWERBOMB INTO A RANA! Trevor is able to kick out. Trevor powers up and trades slaps with Sydal, who eats a high kick to the face. STEP UP REVERSE RANA ON LEE! SSP EATS KNEES! SMALL PACKAGE GETS THE WIN! Trevor Lee picks up the duke at the 14 minute mark. ***1/4 This really is a match of two halves. The first half really meant nothing to the match and had me tuning out to other things at a few points. Neither guy really bothered to truly draw battle lines or anything like that, and the in-ring action wasn’t good enough to make up for it. Then once they turned it up, both guys shined just like they always do. Trevor Lee’s heel side awoke and made for some entertaining crowd exchanges while Sydal’s constant countering became somewhat of a mini-story in the end. This just wasn’t entertaining for the first 6-7 minutes and despite the fantastic ending sequences, it doesn’t hit the rating it would in an ideal world.
Kenny Omega vs. Will Ospreay
And people wonder why PWG sells out in 5 minutes…
Ospreay’s speed gets the tentative upperhand, until Omega casually throws an eye-poke out there. Ospreay isn’t really willing to shake Kenny’s hand due to the eyepoke, and those suspicions are confirmed as he does one of his own. Ospreay counters a bulldog by handspringing, which brings the crowd to its feet. Ospreay sends Omega out to the floor, but Omega catches him springboarding and later on hits a lariat that turns the boy inside out. Omega kicks Ospreay outside and COMES OUT WITH A BEAUTIFUL TOPE CON HILO! The crowd drumming Miseria Cantare by AFI beforehand was epic too. Omega even more hilariously gives Ospreay a nipple twister mid-Abdominal Stretch. Omega runs Ospreay off of the turnbuckle, right into an Oklahoma Stampede for two! Here comes the CHAINSAW! Ospreay is able to stop it, and he tries to turn the chainsaw against Omega… and his dick! Omega is destroyed! Ospreay looks devastated by what he’s done, but he hits a handspring enzuigiri anyways. SPRINGBOARD CANCUN TORNADO TO THE OUTSIDE FROM OSPREAY! DIVING SPIKE DDT IN THE RING! STANDING TORNILLO! Omega kicks out at two. God this guy is incredible. Kenny flips him crazily out an attempted flipping DDT, and he just shotgun kicks him into the corner. Die Hard scores for Kenny, but only gets two! Ospreay nearly gets the pin on a Prawn Hold, but eats a Stop Enzuigiri and a snap Dragon Suplex for 2. Kenny goes up top, but Ospreay stops him and climbs up there with him, but gets sent down. HE VERTICAL LEAPS UP TO THE TOP ROPE AND HITS A SUPER FRANKENSTEINER~! 740 KICK TO OMEGA! Ospreay misses the second rope Phoenix Splash, and Omega hits the Hadouken! Ospreay gets out of the One Winged Angel, but Omega catches a handspring and TURNS IT INTO A DOCTOR BOMB! Ospreay kicks out! Ospreay HITS THE C4 OUT OF THE ONE WINGED ANGEL! SPRINGBOARD ACE CRUSHER!~! KENNY KICKS OUT! Ospreay goes up top for something, but the Red Arrow misses.. but he nearly gets the win with a Small Package! ONE WINGED ANGEL! Omega wins in an unbelievable 16 minutes. **** And again, Kenny Omega pulls out Match of the Night.. and boy did he have some help from Will Ospreay. I implore you to check this kid out any chance you get, because I can tell you that the hype is very, very real. He’s so unbelievably crisp in everything he does, that even moves you’ve seen him do before wow you like it’s the first time he’s doing them. I hadn’t heard this guy’s name before when he first came up for PWG, but now it’s very possible he’s going to be the breakout star of 2016 after signing with NJPW, and it’s hard to hate that. These two went out there and went balls-to-the-wall for 16 minutes, wrestling a completely different match from those preceeding it, and still managed to steal the show. Omega has been a reliably awesome wrestler since like 2008, and he might just starting to be hitting his prime if his current output has anything to say about it. I love how he’s able to switch from goofy heel to serious athletic wrestler at a moment’s notice, all the while making the transitions seem natural and seamless. That’s the mark of a good worker, and when you have two special talents in a ring like this match, you’re bound to get something memorable. Fantastic outing from Ospreay and Omega.
Kenny Omega takes the mic and says it’s difficult to come to PWG on his schedule, but he knows if he ever needs to test himself, PWG is the place to do it. He said he came dressed very flamboyantly for the occasion, and that’s for a reason. He doesn’t come as a member of the Bullet Club, he comes as a member of the PWG family. D’aww.
Here comes Roderick Strong now with mic in hand, followed by the rest of Mt. Rushmore. He tries to shut the crowd up, which proves to be a useless tactic. He thanks the Young Bucks for his shitty little tassles, of which the crowd is very disapproving. He’s not entirely happy that Adam Cole is in Mt Rushmore, but he can deal with it. It’s Mount Rushmore 2.0 vs. The World, and the War starts now with a JUMPING KNEE TO ANGELO TRINIDAD!
Guerrilla Warfare: Mt. Rushmore 2.0 (Roderick Strong, The Young Bucks & Adam Cole) vs. Chris Hero, Mike Bailey, Candice LeRae, & Joey Ryan
The Guerrilla Warfare match from Night 2 of BOLA is my Match of the Year for 2015, so this one has some lofty standards to live up to. But I have a feeling I won’t be disappointed. Just a hunch.
It’s a Pier Six Brawl to start off, and Chris Hero is punching bitches all across the ring. It’s hard to call this insanity as they’re brawling around the ring if we’re being honest. Nick Jackson throws a chair to Mike Bailey’s face from inside the ring. Matt goes crazy on Joey in the ring with the belts and a barrage of Suck Its, but he gets too careless and eats a belt shot of his own. Hero cleans the Bucks out as Candice gives Cole a Violence Party outside. Chris Hero puts up both Bucks for an Air Raid Crash/Piledriver combo! Cole saves his partners though, sending Hero to the outside. This is pandemonium and very difficult to keep up with. Not that I’m complaining. Hero gets a dick to the face from Cole, so HE KIPS UP AND BOOTS HIM OUT OF THE RING! That was awesome. Hero eats a double superkick on the apron, as well as a backbreaker from Roddy, but here come Candice and Joey for the ASSISTED HURRICANRANA ONTO EVERYBODY! TOPE FROM JOEY! SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE FROM SPEEDBALL! Joey throws Candice into a DDT on Matt, but Nick moonsaults onto Joey and boots her to the mat. Nick tries to get sleazy, but Candice ain’t having it. Matt grabs Candice, but Speedball tells him to RESPECT WOMEN AND KICKS HIM TO HELL! I love this guy so much. Hero saves the day after Candice and Speedball eat the apron, until Hero finds himself a recipient of Early Onset Alzheimer’s on the floor! The Bucks try to superkick Joey in the dick, but YOU CAN’T HURT JOEY’S COCK… that is until Nick superkicks him in the face. Roddy brings out THUMBTACKS and they PUT THEM IN JOEY’S TRUNKS! SUPERKICK TO THE CROTCH! Jesus Chrst. Joey is carried to the back by Justin Borden afterwards, but the Bucks superkick him too! Now it’s 4-3, and it seems hopeless but Chris Hero ain’t going down. QUADRUPLE SUPERKICK ON HERO! Matt and Cole put Bailey and Candice up for the DOUBLE INDYTAKER ON THE FLOOR! They set their sights on Excalibur, who ain’t having their shit obviously. EXCALIBUR DIVES OFF OF THE STAGE ONTO THEM!~! HE HAS COLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!~! LION COCK FROM EXCALIBUR!~!~! THE FUCKING LION COCK! Roddy saves Cole from the Tiger Driver ’98, and Excalibur is down! THE LIGHTS ARE OUT! IT’S KYLE O’REILLY! KYLE O’REILLY IS BACK! HE GOES AT IT WITH RODDY!~! STOMP! ELBOW! LEG SWEEP! HE GOES INSANE ON EVERYBODY! DOUBLE MISAWA MISSILE DROPKICK ON RODDY AND COLE! DOUBLE SUPERKICK… INTO THE JAWBREAKER LARIAT ON THE BUCKS! DROPKICK FROM THE APRON! Holy shit guys, I’m breathless. Kyle hits the Tornado DDT into the Guillotine onto Roddy, but Cole breaks it up with a chair shot. Speedball puts a trash can on Cole’s head AND RIVER DANCE KICKS HIM!~! Speedball goes up top, but Nick throws a chair at him and he takes a nasty tumble down to the floor. Nick TAKES ROLLING BALLSPLEXES FROM CANDICE! Matt gets Candice, who COUNTERS A POWERBOMB INTO A CANADIAN DESTROYER! SICK KICK ON CANDICE! Roddy sets up a pile of chairs, which spells certain death for someone. And RODDY MURDERS HER WITH END OF HEARTACHE ONTO THE CHAIRS!~! Jesus CHRIST. Hero comes in and kicks Roddy’s face off, but Cole follows him in with a ladder, and chaos follows. Cole hits Kyle with the knee brainbuster and is alone in the ring, setting up the ladder. Speedball climbs the ladder with Cole in hot pursuit, and COMES OFF OF IT WITH A REVERSE RANA ONTO COLE! He misses the Shooting Star Kneedrop though, and eats superkicks and a garbage can from Cole and The Bucks. THEY POWERBOMB SPEEDBALL ON THE LADDER! MATT SETS THE LADDER UP FOR THE SENTON BOMB! Mt. Rushmore is just having its way with everybody now. Hero gets busted open by the turnbuckle, and further damage is done with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. The Bucks pull a table out from under the ring, but CANDICE DIVES OUT ONTO THEM WITH A MOONSAULT! TOPE DDT ON COLE! Roddy puts an end to that shit with a tope dropkick and tries to kill Candice with End of Heartache on the apron, but Kyle boots him and locks on the Guillotine, AND RODDY DRIVES THEM BOTH THROUGH THE TABLE! The Bucks take Hero in the ring for an Indy Taker, but Hero counters out of it and goes crazy on them with elbows! HERE’S FUCKING KIKUTARO!~! YES!~! WITH AN ELBOW PAD OF TACKS!~! SUCK ITS FROM KIKUTARO!~! The Bucks put an end to that shit with superkicks, but boy that was awesome. They set up Candice for an Indy Taker, but HERE’S RICK KNOX!~! FOREARM TO KNOX!~! HERE’S JOEY TO SAVE KNOX WITH A SPEAR TO NICK! Matt puts Knox on the top rope for something, but Joey stops that with a low blow… DOOMSDAY DEVICE FROM RICK KNOX!~!~! HERE’S EXCALIBUR!~! KAWADA KICKS! TIGER DRIVER 98 ON NICK!!!!!! ROARING ELBOW ON NICK WITH THE LOADED PAD!~! THAT’S IT!!! Mount Rushmore is finally defeated after an incredible 26 minutes. ****3/4 Now as the rating says, I adored this with every inch of my heart, but I’ve gotta get the “negative” out of the way first. I hate, hate, hate to say it, but this isn’t quite up to the perfection of BOLA’s Guerrilla Warfare. Because see, for me to give a five star rating, I have to be able to truthfully say I would not change an entire thing in that match. And here, I cannot. And I know it’s a dickhead thing to say, but I have to. If Super Dragon was in this match, this would have probably been my favorite PWG match of all time. The stars would have been aligned in such a way that so many years of PWG history could come down to Excalibur giving him one last Tiger Driver 98, but alas, it was not to be. Now that said, this match is still incredible and one of the most enjoyable things PWG has ever given me. And as I’m sure many of you are aware, PWG has brought me a lot of joy over the past 5 years. From the opening second of this mayhem, I was overjoyed to see everything these 11 people gave us. Kyle O’Reilly’s return gave this match a tremendous surprise, as well as a second wind for a match that was rapidly going the way of the previous match; a domination for Mount Rushmore. But as Excalibur said, you have to love it when a plan comes together. And before that, let’s not act like this wasn’t as incredibly entertaining as the 15 minutes that came after it. If you’re a PWG fan and didn’t mark out for Excalibur diving onto Mount Rushmore and giving Adam Cole the LION COCK, you need to stop watching wrestling immediately. For me, a longtime PWG fanboy, that might be my single favorite segment this promotion has ever given me. And please for the love of God, do not let the absence of Super Dragon deter you from watching this match. That is the smallest of nitpicks imaginable when you’re dealing with something this great. I just wanted to point out why I didn’t give this five stars, despite the fact that it really wouldn’t matter because no one would agree with me. But I digress. This is one of PWG’s most enjoyable pieces of wrestling ever, and I implore any of you who have watched this Mount Rushmore saga – or PWG in general – to see this. It’s 30 minutes of wrestling that will be hard to top for a lot of reasons, and I’m happy to say I watched it. Bravo PWG.
After the match, all the babyfaces celebrate to a huge ovation from the crowd. Excalibur takes the mic and says he told everybody that Mount Rushmore was done, and he looks at Kyle and says he loves it when a plan comes together. Chris Hero takes the mic and says Mount Rushmore’s reign is “fucking over”. He says fuck Adam Cole, fuck the Young Bucks, FUCK THAT BITCH ASS SUPER DRAGON, and fuck Roderick Strong. Hilariously, Kikutaro is just sitting in the crowd as this all is going on. Chris Hero says he’s coming for his belt, and the crowd chants “Next World Champ” at him. Kyle takes the mic and says it’s good to be home. He says no one is ever going to tell Kyle to stay out of Reseda again. The crowd wants Candice to make a speech, but she kisses them goodbye… but Reseda WILL NOT SETTLE. Candice finally takes the mic and cuts the worst promo in the history of wrestling, but it’s CANDICE LERAE and the crowd loves it. The crowd wants Speedball to cut a promo now, which ought to be amazing. His dorky ass just bows and says “I love you all”, which is incredible. Knox gets the mic and says how crazy it is that a referee can get cheered like he can, and he straight PAUL HEYMAN’S these people and gets them going crazy. Now a JOEY’S DICK chant, and it has to relay its message to Excalibur. Excalibur says he hates to be the person to speak for Joey’s dick, but nonetheless says it’s looking for a warm, lubricated place to rest. Excalibur thanks everybody for being there, and puts everybody over. He says they’ll be back on January 2nd, and the crowd wastes no time demanding Zack Sabre Jr. Excalibur says 2016 will see the piece by piece destruction of Mt. Rushmore. He tops it off by saying PWG will be won by the future of professional wrestling.
More Mt. Rushmore shenanigans in the back. They’re all in agreement that they got screwed, but are not backing down. Roddy says he’s not fighting Zack Sabre Jr, and the Bucks will be in Tokyo. “I really killed Candice, that was nice.” – Roderick Strong. And we set sail towards Lemmy…
