Jack Likes B-Shows: WWF In Your House #1

WWF IN YOUR HOUSE #1

Hello, I’m Jack Stevenson, and I’m a fan of hare-brained schemes and ambitious projects, usually involving writing about professional wrestling shows, that never really get out of the ground. This is one of those ambitious projects, but the fact that you’re reading these words indicates that, happily, I have at least posted a review and thus officially the project has lifted off. Whether it will remain airborne or will instead splutter haplessly into the ground remains to be seen. I mean, as I write these words I haven’t even started watching the actual show I’m reviewing yet, so I genuinely have no clue at this point whether I’ll get to the third match and grow restless and start some other futile endeavour. Such is life when you’re both riddled with obsessive compulsive disorder but also have the attention span of a goldfish.

What the fuck am I rambling on about. I don’t know. Let’s talk wrestling! And more specifically, B-shows. I am a big fan of good B-shows, for a couple of reasons. One, B-shows are fertile ground for discovering unheralded classics, which is always rewarding, and two, my least favourite kind of wrestling matches are the ones that try desperately to be five star epics and end up just waffling on irrelevantly for thirty minutes, and those tend to pop up more often on the real major events. I mean, I’m one to talk because there’s nothing I love more on a day to day basis than waffling on irrelevantly for thirty minutes, as you can probably tell by the fact it’s taken me two full paragraphs to say ‘I am going to try and review all the WWE B-shows.’ But, hey, I’ve said it now. The obvious place to start is with the advent of In Your House, the budget priced, budget length PPVs the WWF started churning out in the mid nineties to rival WCW’s monthly PPV schedule. Many of them were good, but arguably more of them were bad. I genuinely can’t quite remember which ones were which, so, hey, let’s find out together! Watch along on the WWE Network if you want. Or, actually, I’m pretty sure a guy on the Death Valley Driver forums has been doing this exact same thing for ages now, and those reviews are probably much more concise and enjoyable than these ones will be. Go and look up those instead. I won’t blame you.

Todd Pettengill narrates the opening video package, which runs down the card for the night. It sounds mostly flotsam and jetsam, except for two Bret Hart matches, and one person winning an actual house in Orlando, Florida! The show itself emanates from Syracuse, New York, with Vince McMahon and Dok Hendrix handling the commentary duties.

MATCH 1- BRET HART VS. HAKUSHI
Hakushi is undefeated and Bret Hart is impressed by him, but feels he’ll have never faced somebody like the Excellent of Execution. He wants to prove why he’s the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be! Then, he’s going to beat the heck out of Jerry Lawler as a Mother’s Day present for Helen! (the show took place on Mother’s Day, y’see). This match was set up when Hakushi attacked Hart while the Hitman was being honoured by the Japanese media.

Hakushi hits the first big move of the match with a Vader Bomb, as Jerry Lawler watches with glee on a monitor in the locker room. Hakushi’s manager Shinji lays some boots on the Hitman on the floor. To be honest, Hakushi’s control segment on Bret isn’t super. He does land a pretty nifty handspring elbow, though. Diving headbutt off the top turnbuckle gets a two count, but there’s nobody home when Hakushi tries a springboard! Bret rattles off a Russian leg sweep and a bulldog for two. Backbreaker! Elbow drop! But not a Sharpshooter, because Shinji distracts him on the ring apron. Hakushi tries to attack from behind, but Bret fends him off with an inverted atomic drop and turns him inside out with a clothesline! Beautiful selling from Hakushi- I love it when wrestlers use being clotheslines as an excuse to do some cool flips. Shinji trips Bret from the floor, so Bret clatters him with a Suicide Dive! Hart returns to the ring, and then immediately exits it again as both competitors tumble out off a suplex. Shinji ties Bret up again, which gives Hakushi the time to wipe him out with an Asai Moonsault! Ooh. This started slow but it’s become real good. Bret beats the count, and trades reversals with Hakushi until he ties his foe up in a victory roll and gets the three! *** ¼. I dug the finishing sequence of this a very great deal. It was two terrific athletes throwing their absolute best stuff at one another, and, I mean, who doesn’t like that? Hakushi’s Asai moonsault was just gorgeous and I assume it blew plenty of minds in 1995. The early stages of the match were fairly lifeless, unfortunately, with Hakushi not really doing anything and relying too much on monotonous cheating by Shinji, but I’d rather a match start slow and get much much better than start great and slowly deteriorate. The crescendo was great, and this was a good match as a result.

Unfortunately, Bret has a minor calamity as he exits the ring, landing awkwardly on his knee. It’s so terribly fucked that there’s speculation as to whether Jerry Lawler’s going to have it easy later in the evening.

Stan Lane and Alundra Blayze are trying to man the Superstar Line, but Jerry Lawler is causing trouble, demanding to face Bret Hart right now. Once Todd Pettengill informs him that Bret’s on the way to the Superstar Line to be interviewed, though, Lawler pretends he’s got something through on his pager and runs away.

MATCH 2- RAZOR RAMON VS. JEFF JARRETT & THE ROADIE
The 1-2-3 Kid was scheduled to be Razor Ramon’s partner but is out with injury. The Kid telephones in to confirm he is watching on TV and that he will have his revenge on Double J and the Roadie. Razor Ramon is not scared about this Handicap match because he’s had tons of those on the mean streets in his time. He reassures the 1-2-3 Kid that all is fine and he doesn’t feel let down by his absence.

Razor slugs Double J all around the ring to begin with, and caps it off by clotheslining him out to the floor. Razor pursues Jeff around ringside, but the Roadie sneaks up on him and pelts him in the back. Razor roars back with a fallaway slam in the ring, but the Roadie breaks up the resulting cover and tags in. There were doubts pre match about whether the Roadie was even halfway qualified to be in the ring, but he does OK with some basic stomping before tagging Jeff back in. Razor tries for the Razor’s Edge, but gets back dropped all the way out to the floor, and the Roadie follows him out with a flying clothesline! Ramon narrowly beats the count. The two crack heads and flop to the mat. Jarrett tags out to the Roadie, but of course Ramon has nowhere to go. Roadie hits a flying knee for two. Another flurry of offense culminates in Razor hitting a back suplex from the second rope on the Roadie. Jeff tries to wrap him up with the figure-foar, but Ramon kicks him off, and Jarrett bounces into the Roadie and knocks him off the apron. With the coast clear, Ramon drops Jarrett with the Razor’s Edge, and that’s enough for the win! ** ¾. This was a completely unmemorable but perfectly enjoyable undercard match, and obviously wrestling cards need those from time to time. They could have done something really interesting with the dynamic of this, because obviously Razor was at a man disadvantage but the Roadie was presented as having no experience, which could have evened the playing field. Instead. Roadie just hit the ring and was basically fine at the wrestling, if a bit cowardly. Still, it’s hard to have any major complaints about a match that flies by at a brisk pace and gets its point across with a minimum of fuss.

Post match, the Roadie tries a sneak attack but gets hoisted into position for the Razor’s Edge. Double J clips the knee to break the hold up and trigger a two on one beatdown until Aldo Montoya of all people tries to make the save. He does quite well for a bit, but ultimately gets pitched out to the floor. Then, a mysterious man comes in and runs through both of the country music scoundrels! Vince McMahon is baffled as to who this guy is, but hindsight informs us he’s none other than Savio Vega!

In the back, Jerry Lawler is in heated discussion with Jack Tunney. He still wants his match with Bret to take place with immediate effect, but officials are reluctant to let it happen.

Barry Didinsky shills a Bret Hart t-shirt from the stands. It’s the WWF in 1995, so the T-shirt is predictably hideous, black with massive targets strewn all over it and then a gigantic picture of Bret Hart’s face thrown in for good measure. The real question is, who is Barry Didinsky? I had never heard of him before watching this show, and I thought my knowledge of obscure WWF announcers was pretty robust. Stephanie Wiand’s appearance earlier on to talk about how exciting the house competition was didn’t faze me at all. But Barry Didinsky? Happily, WrestleCrap have written a very informative article on him; apparently he was around for a few months in 1995 and his sole job was to advertise hideous bits and pieces of merchandise on screen. We’ve got all to make a living somehow.

MATCH 3- KING OF THE RING QUALIFIER- ADAM BOMB VS. MABEL
Mabel attacks Bomb before the bell, and then crushes him with a body splash in the corner after it has rang. Bomb rallies and knocks Mabel to the floor with a flying shoulderblock, then slingshots onto him with a crossbody! A slingshot clothesline back into the ring barely connects, but gets a two count. Flying clothesline off the top rope by Bomb! Still only two. This is very impressive from Bomb. Mabel brings his momentum screeching to a halt with a spinning wheel kick, and a Pancake Slam is enough for three. ** ¼. This was above average for a three minute match in which one competitor had 90% of the offense but lost out of nowhere to two manoeuvres. Adam Bomb threw a lot of exciting moves at Mabel, and while the finish came out of nowhere and not in a satisfying RKO kind of way, I’d rather a Mabel vs. Adam Bomb match be cut short than go on too long.

Razor Ramon introduces us to Savio Vega, one of the biggest stars from the Caribbean! Vega admits he just couldn’t control himself when he saw Double J try to put the figure four on Razor. Razor’s glad to have Savio in his corner.

MATCH 4- WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS- YOKOZUNA & OWEN HART VS. THE SMOKING GUNNS
Jerry Lawler is so desperate to get his match underway that he tries to hit the ring before the match begins, but officials shoo him away.

The Smoking Gunns take Owen down with a neat double team- Bart hits a vertical suplex, and Billy dropkicks him on the way down. Owen retaliates with an enzuiguri to Billy. Yokozuna mows him down with a clothesline to briefly turn him into the face in peril. The big lad misses a charge on the floor and runs into the ring post, allowing Billy to make the hot tag to Bart! Back suplex/neckbreaker combo drops Owen Hart! Say what you will about the Smoking Gunns, they understand the value of a fancy double team. Bart misses a high crossbody and drops to the floor. Billy knocks Jim Cornette off the apron, but Yokozuna drops a leg on Bart, rolls him back into the ring, and Owen covers for the three! ** ½. Another short, sharp match. I don’t think tag formula really works when it’s squashed into just under six minutes like this was, but this was never boring at least. There were a couple of cool double teams from the Smoking Gunns and bits of impressive power from Yokozuna. Not a bad effort at all.

Diesel is a bit gloomy because it’s Mother Day but his Ma died last Christmas. Aw. Also, he was attacked by Henry Godwinn. Still, that’s not going to stop him from beating Sid in the main event and retaining his WWF Championship!

Jerry Lawler introduces his mother to the crowd in the ring. The joke is that his ‘mother’ is a stunningly attractive woman in her early twenties. I’ve enjoyed all of Jerry’s shenanigans this evening. In the Gorilla position, Bret Hart boasts that his knee is 100% and that he feigned his injury to get in Lawler’s head.

MATCH 5- BRET HART VS. JERRY LAWLER
Bret is all over Jerry to begin with. He even shrugs off a piledriver as if it was nothing. Lawler isn’t able to shrug off a Bret piledriver with quite the same ease. Hakushi’s manager Shinja comes down to ringside, and the referee gets bumped with his foot tangled in the ropes. This gives Hakushi the opening to launch an aerial sneak attack on Bret, crushing him with a trio of flying head butts. Lawler ties Bret up in a bridging pin for the academic victory. **. The short matches are becoming irritating at this point, and it’s clear that the WWF hadn’t got the formula down for these shows right away. Still, like everyone else so far this evening they made the best of the time allotted. They did their angle and got right out of there. It was too rushed to be really exciting, but also too short to be actively boring.

Post match Hakushi and Lawler try to continue the beatdown, but Hakushi accidentally clotheslines the King and Bret goes on to clear the ring.

Sid believes time has ran out on Diesel’s title reign.

Todd Pettengill and Stephanie Wiand give away a house. An 11 year old called Matt Pomposelli wins and his family sound genuinely thrilled when they ring him up. WWE Magazine did a fun article a couple of years ago where they tracked Pomposelli down- he ended up selling the house about six months after he won it in order to pay for college.

MATCH 6- WWF CHAMPIONSHIP- DIESEL VS. SYCHO SID
Diesel blitzes Sid with a flurry of punches and elbows, sending him slumping to the floor to recover. Back in the ring a flying clothesline gets two. Sid’s manager Ted DiBiase helps the cause by distracting the champ, and that allows Sid to take control. He drives Diesel into the ring post, hoping to exacerbate the back problem Henry Godwinn caused. This begins the designated boring part of the match, Sid controlling with ultra low tech offense. A choke slam with absolutely no elevation whatsoever begins the finishing stretch. Sid hits his powerbomb but is so convinced he’s won that he takes forever to make the cover, and ends up getting just two. Diesel roars back with snake eyes and a big boot, and the Jackknife Powerbomb looks to have got three. Sid’s Million Dollar Corporation cohort Tatanka hits the ring to break the cover up though, and the match ends off a DQ. Post match, Sid and Tatanka perform a beatdown until Bam Bam Bigelow races in to make the save! *. This was no good at all. Even with only ten minutes to fill, Diesel and Sid didn’t have enough ideas. The first couple of minutes were OK- Diesel went after Sid with plenty of aggression, and Sid taking control by exploiting his foe’s bad back gave the impression that they had a story to tell. But, really, they didn’t, as the rest of the match was just rest hold rest hold, two big moves, DQ finish to build to the underwhelming main event of one of the worst PPVs ever, King of the Ring ’95. One of the underrated aspects of contemporary WWE is that we don’t really get matches like this any more.

4.5

The final score: review Poor

The 411

In Your House 1 has two main things going for it. It's short, and it opens with a good match between Bret Hart and Hakushi. That may sound like damning with faint praise, but actually now I basically watch all my wrestling on online streaming services, I'm willing to sit through any old show as long as it doesn't take up too much time and has at least something decent on it. So, if you've got a spare hour and 45 minutes, In Your House #1 isn't the worst way to spend it. It's an interesting curiosity at the very least. Still, I can't go as far as to give it a proper recommendation. It's not actually a good PPV, with the enjoyable opener followed up by a parade of mediocrity, leading up to a pretty dire main event. It's just not bad enough to have no redeeming value whatsoever.