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It’s Windsday, Rabbit!

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It’s PUNK! He’s in action to start the show!

Match 1: CM Punk vs Dustin Rhodes

WE get a staredown to start, then a handshake. People love it. Punk toys with him, shooting for the legs, then locks up. Stalemate sends both men back. Punk circles. Another lockup. Dustin locks the arm, Punk escapes, rope work and Rhodes gets a tackle, then sends Punk to the ropes, arm drag from Dustin, one from Punk, kick from Dustin, and both men are on their knees! Cheers! Antoher lockup into a headlock takedown from Punk, leg scissors from Dustin. The crowd is fucking HYPED! Punk works the legs, grabs the chin, gets a bow and arrow into a pin for 1..2..N!O!! Arm drag from Dustin, Punk shoots the leg, taking Rhodes down. Rhodes works the left arm, dropping an elbow on it. They hit the ropes, Punk misses a swipe, another, Rhodes tries for a crossbody, but Punk ducks and Rhodes flies to the outside, hurting his knee in the process.

Punk heads outside, lets Dustin walk off the injury just a bit, then sends him back into the ring. Punk follows, grabs the injured leg, Dustin kicks the left arm of Punk, and Punk’s hesitation is no longer a factor, as he goes straight for the inside knee. Another elbow drop to the knee, then he drops a few knees. He pulls back on the leg. Dustin stands, struggling, bouncing on one leg, and Punk decides to kick the back of the leg as we head to break.

WE ARE BACK and Punk is on the apron. Dustin kicks him into the post. He then spins Punk’s arm and sends him face first into the apron. Punk rolls inside. Dustin rolls in at the count of three from the ref. Punk tries to attack the leg again, but Dustin kicks him. Punk kicks the leg, chops from Dustin. Kick from Punk to the knee, uppercut from Goldust. They trade hits, Punk continuing to attack the knee/thigh. Punk getting some boos per kick, and Dustin getting the adoration. Clothesline. Another. Dustin corners Punk, mounts, hits the ten count, then jumps off the corner and collapses. Punk stands, slaps his arm for some feeling, turns, and waits for Dustin to stand. Punk rushes the corner for the knee, but Dustin moves. Code Red from Dustin! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Dustin pulls himself up with the ropes, runs, and Punk gets him on the shoulders, can’t quite get it, Dustin hits a right, uppercut, powerslam! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Dustin locks the head, thinking Cross Rhodes, but Punk kicks high, hits the ropes, chop block to the back of the leg! Punk grabs the leg. FIGURE FOUR!!!! Dustin has a flat back! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Damn, that was close. Both men trade right slaps back and forth! Dustin blocks, hits one, another, spins the Figure Four. Punk turns it back! Dustin turns the opposite way! Punk reaches the ropes! Dustin breaks the hold, but not right away. Punk to the apron. He springboards, but Dustin with a right hand! CROSS RHODES to Punk! He drags Punk to the center, PILEDRIVER!!! 1……..2……NO!!!! Dustin stands first. Punk is up. Shake, Rattle, but no Roll as Punk kicks him in the side of the head.

Punk goes for G2S! Dustin slinks down and grabs the legs, but Punk sits on him for a pin! 1…2….3!!!!

Winner: CM Punk
A solid opener. I especially enjoyed Punk goin easy on Dustin, even giving him some respect and patience till Dustin kicks him in the face and pisses him off. I’d say it was a bit too long there, and although the crowd chanted THIS IS AWESOME a few times, it wasn’t. Still…..it was kind of a…..BANGER!!!!!
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 17:20

Punk and Dustin go forehead to forehead and show each other some mad love.

As Punk heads up the ramp and motions for the belt, Hangman Page’s music hits, and out the cowboy comes to meet Page at the top of the ramp. They go face to face. Punk nods, then heads to the back.

Earlier today, Wardlow enters the arena. Here comes Sterling, sayin that he will be escorted by security everywhere. Wardlow is ok with it, but Sterling says he msut wear handcuffs. Wardlow obliges as Sterling tells him that security can help him change if necessary. MJF calls him a pig via Sterling, and Wardlow says, “Oink oink, bitch.”

Match 2: Bryan Danielson, Jon Moxley, and Wheeler Yuta vs Dante Martin, Brock Anderson, Lee Moriarity

Regal’s goons attack before the bell! They clear the ring, leaving Yuta and Martin in the ring. Martin with a dropkick, then he works the arm and sends Yuta into th corner. Tag to Bryan. He kicks, hits a right hand, sends Martin into the corner, and hits a hard chop. Another. Tag to Jon, tag to Brock, ho ducks under a clothesline, and hits one of his own. He corners Jon, hits some hard kicks, then rights, then a whip, Jon dodges a splash and hits a half and half. Tag to Bryan.

Back from a break, and Jon hits a right hand to the forehead as Lee and Dante show frustration. Another punch to the head, Jon hits the ropes, Brock with a spinebuster. Tag to Lee! Tag to Bryan! High kick to Bryan! One for Yuta!! Running kick to Yuta off the apron. High punch off the top rope, Lee is hyped for his hometown crowd. He locsk the head, hits a knee, another knee, Bryan slaps the shit out of Lee, but Lee hits a slap of his own!!! Uppercut from Bryan, another, Lee runs and hits noe of his own. SAITO SUPLEX FROM LEE!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Lee with the Border City Stretch! Bryan is able to capture the shoulder ,hit a suplex, Lee tags in Dante. Job gets a tag! Dante sends Jon to the outside, hops off the top rope onto Jon on the outside! Dante to the top rope again! Struggles, hesitates, bacflips INTO A BULLDOG CHOKE!!!!! LEE IS IN THE RING!! He kicks the back of Jon! Jon doesn’t break the hold! Lee kicks again!!!

Bryan enters! He clotheslines Lee, then grabs his arm to beat his head in. In comes Brock. Yuta takes care of him! We get a triple time beat down from Jon, Bryan, and Wheeler! Paradigm Shift from Jon! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winners: BCC
Man, them boys don’t play.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:06

Backstage, Young Bucks are with Cole and ReDragon. KOR questions Young Bucks without rompers and fly fits. KOR brings up losing, and how they have all lost. They are The Undisputed Elite, and they need to win. Tonight, he will beat Jungle Boy.

Cole gets it, they all lost. As a team, they cannot be stopped. Think about this; all of Bucks friends are gone. Cole is still here. Bobby and Kyle are still here. As a functioning unit, they cant be stopped, so next week they will have a ten man tag open challenge. There is a reason he named this group what he did. Young Bucks put the Elite in Undisputed Elite. Cole must take care of something, but think about it.

It’s time for Tony’s announcement!

Tony is with Tony. He thanks everyone very much.

He introduces the president of NJPW.

Adam Cole cuts that shit, saying there is only one person who should make this announcement because it woulnt be possible without him.

IN June 26, Chicago will get Forbidden Door, AEW and NJPW coming together. This Friday, there will be a preview. Adam Cole vs Ishii. Cole then introduces Jay White, who comes out to take the mic from Tony Khan. White thanks Cole. The last time NJPW did a joint venture, he single handedly sold out MSG. This isn’t about NJPW or AEW, it’s about Undisputed Elite AND Bullet Club, because it is still their era.

MJF is high in the crowd. Wait, like not 4/20 high. Just really high up there.

He says Wardlow doesn’t get music, and Pittsburgh sucks.

Match 3: Butcher vs Wardlow

Both big men take their time, staring each other down from their own corners. Wardlow rushes and they collide in the midle of the ring, neither one givin an inch. They tackle a few more times until Butcher punxhes Wardlow. Wardlow returns the favor, gets a few more in, then gets blocked and Butcher bites his forehead. Buther with punches in the corner. Headbutt over and over in the corner. Wardlow blocks a clothesline and hits a shoulder tackle, another, a third, and Butcher rolls out of the ring in frustration. Butcher grabs a chair and sends it in the ring. Another chair. Knox tosses them out of the ring. Lol.

Butcher grabs Wardlow’s boot and pulls him down, but Wardlow kicks nd leaves the ring. Butcher sends him into the apron then barricade. Whip to the apron and a clothesline, to the barricade and another clothesline. Another sends Wardlow into the post. Wardlow readies for a pwoerbomb, but Butcher sends him into the apron thn back suplexes him onto the apron. Butcher rolls back in. He rushes the corner, hits a clothesline. Butcher grabs the head, flips up for a powerbomb! HE HITS IT! Cover for 1….NO!!! Wardlow locks the head. POWERBOMB! Another! A third! MJF IS PISSED! Wardlow flips Butcher into a fourth powerbomb!

Winner: Wardlow
Well, it wasn’t pretty, but got the point across.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 4:20 – giggity

Wardlow leaves the ring to get cuffed, grinning.

Kingston cuts a promo backstage telling Jericho that everything he does to Daniel Garcia on Friday, he’s going to do to Jericho.

Match 4: Jungle Boy vs Kyle O’Reilly

We get some chain wrasslin to start, with Kyle getting the better of JB. They lock fingers and go chest to chest. JB lifts Kyle, Kyle tries to reverse. JB monkey flips KOR, flips over and tries to pin. KOR kicks JB uses the ropes to roll forward then gets a quick pin. KOR stands out of it and kicks the back. Hard foreram. JB hops over out of the corner, runs the ropes, rolls off the back, dropkick to Kyle, and now JB is the one standing tall. Chop from Kyle. He trips JB, sending him down face first.

We are back from break and JB is throwin elbows. KOR whips, JB off the ropes with an elbow, a forearm, hits the ropes, another, tries for yet another, but KOR sends him into the ropes and kicks him in the back. JB with an uppercut. KOR ihts the ropes, and JB sends him oer the top rope. JB flies through the ropes into JB! KOR grabs the leg, sends JB into the barricade, but he stops himself and hits a clothesline to KOR! JB sends KOR into the ring, hops on the apron. KOR grabs the leg. Dragon Screw in the ropes! KOR locks the head and arm of JB. He pumphandle and suplexes JB over the top of his head! Knee to the back, but JB fires back with ANOTHER Clothesline! KOR rushes the corner, but JB catches him and hits a. belly to belly!!! KOR grabs the left arm, hits a high knee in the corner. KOR to the top rope! He locks the left arm up again. JB hangs KOR up in a tree of woe and stomps him away. JB hits the corner, fires back with a dropkick! He drags KOR into the center of the ring, hesitates a bit, then gets KOR to the knees. He goes for a punch to the back of the head, but KOR ducks and hits a kick, tries to sweep, but JB hops over! Tilt a whirl, JB rolls through, pin for 1..2.NO!!1 KOR picks the ankle! JB reverses and gets the SNARE TRAP!!! KOR reaches for the ropes! He crawls! He gets it!!! JB to the top rope! KOR is up!! He kicks the leg out from under JB! KOR up to the top, goes for a Superplex!! JB rolls him up!!! 1..2…NO!!! KOR up with the head still locked.

Brainbuster to Jungle Boy! KOR to the top rope! He flies with a knee to the back of JB! Cover for 1..2…..3!!!!!!

Winner: Kyle O’Reilly
This was a hell of a battle, with a surprise ending, having Kyle win it! Especially love that it wasn’t necessarily a finisher, just something that could be considered brutal.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 12:59

Jungle Boy is upset on the outside of the ring. Out comes Christian Cage. JB says sorry. Cage walks JB up the ramp, telling him it’s ok.

Backstage, MJF and Spears are with Marvez. MJF cuts him off, says Butcher didn’t get the job done, but there’s a lot more money to get the job done. He is a snake. When he decides that someone is his pray, all it takes is one bite. Spears hands over a envelope of money, and MJF hands it to an incoming Jake Roberts.

Jake talks about diamond rings and championship belts, and how he chases money, and when the time is right, he’ll get it done. The time is now. Remember when Wardlow was a kid? Hell is for children.

In comes Archer to slap the money out of his hand, saying he doesn’t need no damned money, he just wants to fight.

Oh my.

HOOK IS HERE!!!!

Match 5: Hook vs The World

Hook is facin Anthony Henry. Hook locks the left arm up quickly, shoots the legs, picks the ankle, turns Henry over, Henry gets the ropes. Ref counts to four to break it. Hook sends Henry into the corner as HOOK IS GONNA KILL YOU is chanted. Hook launches Henry across the ring, then hits a Northern Lights throw. Hook hits the ropes, again, huge lariat to the back of the head. He sits on the back, hits a few crossfaces, calls for the end.

DANHAUSEN IS RINGSIDE!!! HE CURSES HOOK!!!! HOOK Hits another crossace. Locks in Redrum! Henry taps!

Winner: HOOK
Damn….
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 1:21

Danhausen on the mic. He’s had it up to here! If Hook doesn’t want to be cursed, he will FIGHT Danhausen! Hook looks to the crowd. Hook has some blood streaked on him, I think. Deeyum. Hook doesn’t answer, just leaves the ring.

Backstage, Kazarian is about to challenge Sammy, but in comes Scorpio. He says he’s had a hell of a run, but none would be possible if it wasn’t for Kaz. He gave him a shot five years ago by forming SCU. He wants Kaz to wait just a little bit longer. Sky wants to challenge Sammy first, and he promises Kaz will get the first shot.

Kazarian says he will always have Sky’s back, and agrees.

Sammy and Tay are in the ring. The crowd gives him some boos. Sammy loves this. He feels on top of the world as champion and with the love of his life, Tay. He loves her. He loves us, too. He will give us his everything forever, because we deserve it.

As for the rest of us, and he hears us, why turn our backs? Cuz Tay is hotter? Go ahead and hate.

Here comes Sky, Page, and Lambert. Page says the only reason they’re not in the ring putting stitches in his face is because Dan decided that tonight is about business. So shut up, open ears, and listen to Dan.

Lambert on the mic says his grandpappy said youth is wasted on the young. Big dreams and energy, but lack of experience is Sammy’s bane. He risks everything to earn the respect of these people and tossed it all away because he’s acting like a high school douchebag. So either Sky gets his rematch, or Sky and Page are going to give him the type of poundin Tay dreams about.

Sammy doesn’t care about Dan or his dead grandpa, he only wants a match. Sky gets his rematch next week if Sammy and Tay get a mixed tag match.

Done.

The House of Black says the last time they addressed us, they’d turn our eyes black. The House had to change the narrative. No fire will be resurrected. Only ashes will be rinsed away with the rain of shame. In comes Black, saying The House is owed a debt. They’re going to kill the sun next week.

Britt ain’t alone! She comes out with a couple of Steelers! Nice.

Match 4: Britt Baker vs Danielle Kamela
Lockup! Waist lock from Danielle, and a shove to Britt. Britt takes her down with a surprise crucifix. Rollup from Britt for 1..2.NO!!! Kick to the gut, she double underhooks and hits a butterfly suplex. Britt gets the love from the crowd.

Back from break, and Kamela is using the terrible towel to choke Britt! She waves it in the air, and the crowd boos. Britt shoots the legs, hits some rights, kick from Kamela, Britt ducks under a right, hits an elbow strike. She punches Danielle a few times, driving elbows into the ropes. Whip and reverse and Britt fires back wit a slingblade. Another whip and Danielle misses a right. Superkick to the chin! Britt locks the head, hooks the leg, spins for a neckbreaker!

STOMP FROM BRITT! She calls for the glove! It’s a quarterback glove! LOCKJAW! Tap out.

Winner: Britt Baker
Welcome back, Britt!
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:14

Finally, you have a women in the ring with a mic who knows how to use it. The last few weeks have made it clear: the women’s division is a disaster without her. There’s Ruby Soho, who needs to run away. Toni Storm who has Hayter in the first round. She says Toni will wanna leave this company, too. Jade, the girl who called Pittsburgh ugly. The only person that wants to see Jade are the people she gave free tickets to. Red Velvet? What’s worse, her ass getting whooped or being a baddie? They can all sit the hell down because she is the baddest bitch on the block and the future Owen Hart Foundation Tournament winner.

Serena Deeb and Hikaru video package where Shida asks the important question: “How long are we doing thi?”

I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments.

Match 5: Darby Allin vs Andrade

Blade hops on the apron to distrct. Darby swipes at him with the skateboard. Andrade locks up from behind, Darby lands on his feet, attacks Andrade with the board. In comes Quen to attack Darby! Blade is in, next, and it’s a 3 on 1. Andrade stomps in the corner. Blade kicks Darby out of the ring. Andrade tries to open the coffin, but something hurts him. Darby attacks Blade with the board! Darby tosses him through the barricade. Andrade smacks him with the skateboard. Quen and Blade run up on a dude in the crowd with a Sting mask. Quen rips the sign out of his hands.

He removes the mask and IT’S STING!!!!

Sting fights Quen and Blade up into the crowd with a trash can. He send Blade into a banister a few times, Blade tries to attack from behind, but Sting drops a fist on the back of his head. Andrade has Darby by the head, and drags him towards some steps. Blade attacks Darby, Darby sends Andrade into some steps, Sting fights Quen up those same steps. Quen is up high, turns towards Blade, asks for a chair, smacks Sting across the back with it, STING NO SELLS!!! He chops Quen’s gut then tosses him off the high area onto Blade and Andrade. Sting is up high! HE DIVES OFF WITH A CROSSBODY!!! STING FROM THE RAFTERS!!!!

We are back and Andrade and Darby are in the ring! Dary hits a chair, then a Code Red in the middle of the ring! Andrade to the outside. Darby to the corner. Coffin Drop INTO a GERMAN FROM ANDRADE!!! We head to the coffin and it’s opened to reveal thumbtacks on the lid. Andrade sends Darby into the coffin, Darby stabs his arms with the lid, preventing it from closing. Andrade lifts Darby for a suplex, holds onto Darby, walks backwards up the ramp, and hits a suplex on the steel! Andrade sees a nearby grate where the smokes/pyro comes out of. He wants to suplex Darby on it! Darby blocks, hits a knee, some rights, Andrade goes for it aain. Darby attacks the mid section, DAndra lifts him and tosses him onto the grate! Andrade drags Darby towards the coffin. He lifts, sends him into the steps. Darby grabs the lid of the coffin, and tries to break the lid off! Darby in the ring, Andrade on the apron. Darby hits the ropes and suicide dives into Andrade, knocking both him and Andrade in the coffin! Darby looks to close the lid!!! He slams the lid on Andrade, but here comes Jose to put his foot on the lid and kick Darby!

Jose rips his shirt off and locks the head of Darby! Darby with a back body drop onto the lid!!! He slams the lid onto Andrade and closes it, winning the match!

Winner: Darby Allin
Well that was fun! We knew who was going to win going forward, and I hope that people paid close attention to how much Andrade did in this match to make it look good.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 12:23

The Hardys come out to go all DELETE on the top of the ramp for some reason.

End Show