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It’s just Cody’s world, and we’re all livin in it…

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It’s Monday…you know what that means.

After a recap of Cody’s words from last week, The Miz’s music hits, and I hope he goes in on Cody.

Lawler is on commentary while Graves sacrifices his future happiness.

MizTV is set up in the ring. He bounces to the boos from the crowd, asking us to tell him how he really feels. His guest tonight has been the talk of the town, eer since he made his shocking return to defeat one of the greats. Can he beat The Miz tonight? He tells the crowd they cheer for the lions, so their opinion doesn’t matter. He then invites Cody out.

Miz wonders if Cody is trying to upstage Miz by using their entire pyro budget. Is Cody an egomaniac?

Cody tells him not to get hot and begrudge him, this moment has been a long time since he got to be in front of a crowd like this. Miz tries to ask a question, but Cody stands to the pleasure of the crowd. Of course, Cody wanted to make his father proud, says Miz, and this is admirable. But Miz must be honest; if it wasn’t for the name, Cody would just be a plumber.

Cody calls this clever, wow. Miz After Dark, huh? Know why being a plumber would be a good thing? Because Miz is completely full of…he stops himself, but we get it. Miz hasn’t changed a day, not at all. He’s still arrogant, obnoxious, a full-blown carny, and the fact that Miz embraces it so bravely makes him reliable. Good ol reliable Mike. Does Cody look the same to Miz? What do you think Cody has been doing for six years? He has done all he’s needed to do to win the belt.

“It’s a title, a belt holds up your pants.” – The Miz

Miz says this possibility is a long ways away because Seth wants a rematch. Miz doesn’t like Cody’s chances then or tonight against him. Of all the things that happened at Mania, more people talked about Cody on social media. Unlike Miz, he didn’t hide or sneak or surprise. Miz destroyed the Mysterio family, then embarrassed that blonde guy. Miz knows where Cody has been, we all know, but maybe Cody has forgotten what this is…this is MIZ’s show, and he will not be embarrassed. He will not stand

Cody stands, tells Miz to settle down. Cody will tell him something Miz has ener heard on his show. Cody respects Miz, all of his accomplishments, and gets the sense that this hostility is because Miz feels threatened. He has zero issue with Rollins, and if he wants a rematch, he’s happy to oblige. But Miz? He is making things personal. Color Cody unsurprised. He knew there’d be doubt and criticism. He came back to beat the best wrestlers in all of WWE.

Miz: “Superstars.”

Cody has enjoyed their chat, but he is looking forward to his first match back on RAW in six years tonight. May the best man win.

Miz tries for a sneak attack, but Cody telegraphs it and sends him out of the ring.

Recap of your new uWu champion, Roman Reigns and his yearning for the unification of the tag team titles.

Match 1: Veer Mahan vs Dominik Mysterio
Veer misses a splash in the corner and Dom chops the shit out of him, Veer no sells and shoulder tackles Dom down hard. Club to the back. Pounce off the whip by Veer. Whip from Veer, kick from Dom, Superkick and Veer eats it. Dom sends Veer outside, Veer lands on his feet. Dropkick. Dom flies off the top rope into a catch, Veer falls back but keeps his footing and swings Dominik into the barricade. Big lariat on the outside. Ref hits 6, but Veer sends Dom into the ring. He follows and lifts Dom by the hair. Veer with another huge clothesline.

Veer sits hard on the back of Dom, then locks in the half Camel Clutch for the immediate tap.

Winner:
All this waiting for them to give Veer the same push they give every single big guy ever in all of life…
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:58

Veer holds on, not listening to the ref. Ref breaks him, and Veer unlocks, then locks it right back in. Ref calls for help, and out comes some agents to stop Veer. Veer shoves them aside and locks in the hold again. Dominik, bless his soul, sells like hell for Veer.

We come back to dominik being stretchered out and everyone rushing the process as if he may die.

Veer is shown with Pat, who asks why he attacked Dominik. He strikes fear into the heart of any man. He then shakes as if he’s cold…so incredibly cold.

AJ arrived to RAW earlier today, showing that he’s a model independent contractor. He talks about how if someone speaks bout his family, you gotta throw hands. Priest walks out of the bathroom, obviously with unwashed hands, and this upset AJ enough for Aj to attack him until refs break them up.

Match 2: Damian Priest vs AJ Styles
AJ with some punches to start. Priest tries to corner him but AJ reverses and gets some rights and lefts, kicks and jabs. Priest with a right, high kick to the chest, another to the leg, spinning fist, but Aj hits a right hand. AJ with a clothesline sends Priest over the top rope. Aj follows and attacks Priest into the timekeeper’s area. Priest into the ring to stop the count, then he flies out with a forearm!

Back from the break, and Priest is pinning for 2. Priest is up first, grabs the hnd of Aj, and kicks him in the chest. Priest asks AJ if he wants more pain as he kicks AJ in the back repeatedly. He lifts AJ, looking for The Reckoning, but AJ escapes and hits a pele kick! AJ rushes the corner, gets sent over, lands on the apron, right hand, tries for the PF, but Priest high kicks him in the face, dropping him to the outside.

Priest goes on a single knee, ala Taker, and the lights go out. AA single blue beam shines on him, and we get a close up of his ugly face with some bulging eyes as we go to break.

Oh boy…

We come back and commentary is confused about what we saw. The power has been restored, and the match is…over?

Winner:
It hurts me so hard to call anything AJ does crap, but this was that…
Total Rating: -*
Match Time: ?:??

AJ is backstage, pissed off, with blood and scratches on his face. He wasn’t done with Priest. He doesn’t care what anyone does, they will not stop AJ from getting to Edge.

Match 3: The Miz vs Cody Rhodes

Before either man can lock it up, Seth Rollins’ music hits, and out he comes. He’s headed to commentary, and Miz attacks Cody! Off the ropes, he hits a kick thn the ropes and runs into a powerslam from Cody. Cody with a Disaster Kick. Cody hits the ropes, looks to dive, but Miz slides away and Cody slides outside. He tries to get back in, Miz goes for an elbow, misses, Rhodes tries for a Cutter, but Miz catches him with a Full nelson, Cody escapes, kicks, delayed suplex to Cody. Cover gets 2. Miz with a cravat from behind, pulling back on the nose, Cody turns into the hold, Miz tries ot drop Cody down, does so, Cody continues to turn into the hold, hits some right hands. Cody escapes, hits some rights into the corner. Whip is reversed, Cody rolls up the corner, lands on his feet on the apron, and Miz kicks him off of it.

We are back, and both men are in the ring. Miz beats down on Cody, shoves his face away, and kicks him. Cody is up, Miz with a left hand, Cody shoves him, asks for more, begs for more, counters a kick with a kick, another right, powerslam form Cody. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Cody hits the ropes, dives to the outside into Miz! He sends Miz back into the ring, climbs to the top, Miz tries to stop him, Cody hops off, lands on his feet, Miz dropkicks the lower leg, flipping Cody down, and locks in the Figure Four! Cody reaches for the ropes, Miz pulls him back center. Cody galls back into a pin for 1..2..NO!!! They slap each other in the middle of the ring, Cody tries to turn the hold, does so. Miz reaches the ropes and breaks the hold. Cody is up first, favoring the knee.

Miz kicks the knee out from The Miz and hits the low uppercut. Cody Cutter and calls for The Miz to stand, locks the head, Cross Rhodes. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Cody Rhoes
Not a whole lot to write home about during the first 75% of the match, as not much really came off as important until the Figure Four. The stretch after that was good, but an uneventful start.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:51

Cody celebrates. Seth enters the ring, Cody is unaware. He hops off the corner, turns to see Seth, and Seth stands there smiling. Seth has a mic, says Cody’s name a few times with chuckles in between. He has heard the kind words and even heard the word “rematch” but Cody must know that he was a surprised opponent, and anow that Seth sees what he is working with, (insert laughter here), Rollins vs Rhodes II. Cody says yes. Seth dances around Cody with a smile.

We get a recap of Kevin Owens meeting Oog from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Bakstage, Ciampa is welcomed to RAW. Before he can get going with the interview, Ezekiel comes up to welcome him. Ciampa says thanks, it’s nice to meet you.

Owens comes in says this is a lie, this is Elias. Stop lying. What are you trying to pull.

Ezekie says he s mistaken. Oens tells Ciampa that this is Elias. Ciampa says no, that is Ezekiel, Elias’ younger brother. Owens wonders if he is the only sane one left around here.

Good God, Sasha Banks is here….

Match 4: Naomi vs Liv Morgan
Lockup! Side headlock from Naomi. She hops over the back of Liv, pushes to the ropes, hops over, arm drag but Liv lands on her feet, Naomi backflips, lands on here feet, misses two kick, ut eats a third off the ropes. Naomi rushes the corner and hops over Liv, locks the face and rubs it all up in that. Liv tries to rush the corner again Naomi rols out with Liv, hits a kick, cover for 1..2..N!O!!! Li hooks the head and leg for a cradle, gets 1..2.NO!!! Noami misses a right, ducks aunder a clothesline, they both step up in the middle of the ring, but Liv hits the enziguri fully. That was kinda suck, but looked somewhat unintentional. Liv rties for the finish off the ropes, but Naomi holds on, locks up from behind. Elbow from Liv. She hops up, dives off, Naomi catches her and hits a powerbomb! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!

Liv rolls Naomi up for 1..2.NO!! Naomi flips into a seated pin and gets a 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Naomi
A hell of a sprint that was just a bit tooooo choreographed. Still, a bit more like this and Liv is going to be really good.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:21

Dance, Sasha, Dance! Good lord…

Omos recap.

We come back to the show, and Lashley is already talking. We missed some of it, but not nearly enough because boy does he do badly…

He takes a seat, saying he barely beat Omos, but did so. Then the next night, he got stabbed in the back. He wants an explanation. Lashley decides to move some furniture since MVP won’t come out, which is enough to get the music of Omos to play. Out he comes with MVP.

MVP has helped Omos to be a better business man and will not fight tonight. He says we should all be thanking MVP. As for an explanation…when he came back to the WWE, Lashley was floundering. He was letting some wannabe TikTok star lead his career. He resurrected Lashley, but he thinks he doesn’t need MVP? He made Lashley! Before he came back, he was just Bobby Lashley. MVP made him All Mighty.

Lashley says MVP came back for a farewell tour, but instead, he latched onto a meal ticket. He saw where Bobby was going. He went to the top, defeated Brock,

MVP says yeah, he did, and it was MVP that made all this happen. That’s the past, though, this is the present, and he is looking at the future. Omos is the future.

Lashley says he will chop Omos’ ass down, then he’s comin for that ass.

Backstage, we see the return of RAW UNDERGROUND!

Oh wait, nevermind, it’s just a bachelor party with Truth, Reggie, and Akira. Truth tells Reggie that you can’t just go leave Dana alone with ladysnakes. They need to crash that party.

Austin Theory is backstage to inform Pearce and Deville that his name is now “Theory.” He gets a US Title shot next week.

Here comes Kevin Owens to complain about Ezekiel. He can prove it, he just needs to see his records. Pearce says this info is confidential. They don’t care about the truth, but Kevin does. Next week, we go through a lie detector test. Sonya says fine, if that’ll solve it, fine. Owens even gets them to foot the bill.

Deville brings up the Women’s Title, and she has a deal for who will be next. It’s going to be great. Pearce doesn’t know anything about this, but Deville promises it will be great.

Match 5: Bianca Belair vs Queen Zelina
Vega tries to roll up, but them yams too strong, and Bianca don’t move. She moonsaults onto her feet, corners Vega, Vega kicks out of the corner and pins for 1..2…NO!!!! Vega then locks in a submission, and does a headstand for no reason. This into a bridge, transition to the back, and she cinches the hold. Bianca sends Zelina flying hen kicks and lifts up for a Fallaway Slam. Kip up and Bianca tursn to hit a kick in the corner. She sits Vega up on the top rope then presses Vega high and adds some squats.

Bianca drops Vega down hard, pulls Vega away from the ropes and sets up for KOD. She hits it and it’s over! 1..2….3!!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair
Get it, girl
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:11

Bianca holds the title up high until the music of Sonya Deville hits. She is out with the contract as we go to break.

We are back and Deville congratulates Bianca on her title win and gets some cheers from the crowd for her. She’s got some business. Sonya has found her, and it was not easy. There are so many viable women here. Becky, Rhea, Carmella, Alexa Bliss, Liv Morgan, Piper, Dana. The point is, the options are endless.

Bianca says she’d be happy to face any of them. At the end of the day, no matter who it is, she’ll walk out champion, because she is the EST. So what you got, Sonya?

Deville is happy because she has an open contract and if Bianca is down, then sign it now just to prove a point.

Bianca sees what she’s doin, but she said what she said, so ok.

Bianca signs the open contract.

Sonya smiles, and brings out the opponent to make it official.

Please welcome….

Sonya clips the back of the leg of Bianca, then kicks her face in. Sonya stands above Bianca, locks in a Dragon Sleeper, and hits generic finisher #4.

She signs the contract. Pearce runs down the ramp and questions Sonya, who ignores him and leaves with the signed contract.

24/7 stuff happens.

There’s a double wedding next week.

Pearce thinks what Sonya did is an abuse of power, and Sonya tells him there is nothing to do to stop her. Don’t be jealous that she is still in her prime.

Match 6: Rk-Bro vs The Alpha Academy
Gable and Riddle to start. Whip to Riddle, who hops over Gable nd kicks him in the chest hard. Deadlift into a toss and a tag to Orton. An assisted Floating Bro and Orton starts in with the stomps. Tag to Riddle. Orton stomps the hand and Riddle hits a right, Gable hits one, Firemans from Riddle, flots of and Otis gets a tag, a clothesline/German combo to Riddle! Otis grabs Riddle by the head, wihps, trucks Riddle down hard with a tackle!

Back, and Gable is working the arm of Riddle from behind. Riddle reaches for a tag, hits a right to create separation, kicks Gable into the ropes, Otis gets a blind tag, comes in and hits a huge splash then covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Tag to Gable. Otis sits Riddle on his shoulders, Gable to the top rope, Riddle fights out, shoves Otis into the corner, Gable flies into a knee. Riddle tries for a tag, Otis grabs the leg, Knee to Otis, Riddle reaches, Gable grabs the boot, Riddle kick him away, tag to orton finally!

Orton with a clothesline, another, powerslam. DDT to Gable off the ropes! Gable tries for a backslide, Orton escapes and hits an RKO! Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Randy Orton and Matt Riddle
I mean..it was definitely a match.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:07

Bakstage, The Usos roll up in an SUV. Y’all late, foos. They are here to complete the mission.

Back from break, Riddle ad Orton still in the ring, and here are The Usos!

Riddle is dancing along to their music. Lol.

Orton says it’s nice to see Roman let the bitches off the leash. Jey says they tryna be RAW too. Usos are here on RAW to challenge them to a unification match for the uWu Tag Team Titles.

Riddle is blown away. Are they trying to be Thanos?

Out come The Street Profits to stake their claim, citing their win last week against The Alpha Academy. They are in the front of the line.

Usos say there is no line but one line, The Bloodline.

Ford says they’ll be happy to take them on after they beat Orton and Riddle.

Orton tells them to shut up, no one wants to see talking, they want to see a fight. The Usos vs Street Profits. Orton wants to see it.

Match 7: The Usos vs The Street Profits
Jimmy and Ford to start. Ford rolls out of a wrist lock into one of his own, but a side headlock cuts him short. Shoulder tackle knocks ford down. The Usos pose towards Orton and Riddle. Orton tries to help them by telling them to focus, and Ford hits a dropkick. Chop to the chest from Ford. Right hand. Tag to Dawkins. They ouble team Jummy, hiting stereo tackles and an assisted moonsault. Cover for 1..NO! Tag to jey, he runs in and Dawkins drops him hard and covers for 1..2..NO!!! Jimmy with a blind tag, Dawkins runs into a big double chokeslam. Jimmy chokes up Dawkins on the bottom rope till 4. Jey stands above Dawkins and chokes him up with a chin lock. Does that sentence make sense? No. But I’m not deleting it. JEy swithes to a front face lock then slams Dawkins down on his back. Tag to Jimmy. Jey grabs the leg, hands one over to Jimmy, and they split the difference. Jimmy wants Dawkins to reach for the tag, then slaps him silly. Jimmy with a chop. Dawkins fires back, one for Jey, one for Jimmy, he catches a boot, and eats an enziguri! Over for 1..2…NO!!! Jimmy with a stomp to the chest. Dawkins slips out of the ring, but both Usos take him over with rights, and Jey tosses Dawkins INTO Orton and Riddle. The Usos get face to face with Orton and Riddle. Ford flips OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO BOTH MEN AND LAND ON HIS FEET IN FRONT OF ORTON AND RIDDLE!!!! Lol.

We are back, and Jimmy has Dawkins in the middle of the ring with a choke. Dawkins is able to escape but is not so quick to tag. TAG to Jey. TAG to Ford! Ford to the top rope, dives with a high cross body. Right hand to Jimmy, clothesline to Jey, Jimmy locks up from behind, Ford lands on his feet, superkick, another kick, enziguri! Jey sends ord into the corner, he hops over, cartwheels and backflips, runs the ropes, standin blockbuster! Cover for 1..2..N!O!! Ford ifts Jey, whips ot the corner, reversed, Ford hops up again but Jey was ready and sends him chest first into the corner then a back suplex and a cover for1..2…NO!!!! Ford tries for a surpsirse rollup. Dawkins gets a tag, Sits Jimmy on the top rope, HUGE BLOCKBUSTER INTO A PIN for 1…2…NO!!!!

Dawkins tries for a suicide dive to The Usos outside, but Jimmy slaps him, enters, Superkick! Tag to Jey, FROG SP-NO!!! Knees up!!! Tag to Ford! Ford ith a frogsplash!!! NO KNEES!!!! ITS HUGE!!! COVER!!! 1….2…..NO!!!! Jimmy there to stop the pin! Riddle is poppin huge ringside. Dawkins double underhooks and gets sent into the corner shoulde first.

Ford sends Jimmy to the apron. Jey tries for a superkick, Ford with a chop, Tag to Jimmy. 3D!!!!! Cover for 1..2……3!!!!!

Winners: The Usos
EASILY the second best thing on the show (with the first being Sasha Banks’ outfit. The Usos showed up to work, and The Street Profits looked good. Solid way to end the show.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 15:16

Both teams hold their respective titles in the air to close us out.

End Show