wrestling / Video Reviews
Memphis Wrestling (11.5.1983) Review
Image Credit: Memphis Wrestling
Loading...-Originally aired November 5, 1983.
-Your host is Dave Brown on his own.
-Jimmy Hart introduces his new charge, Generic Russian #107-G6. This one is called Russian Invader, he has a hammer & sickle on his red mask, and Americans are afraid of him because he can’t be beat. Jimmy marches around ringside waving the Soviet flag, and for the first time in my life, the thought crosses my mind that it must have been a colossal pain in the ass to travel with a huge flag if that was part of your gimmick.
-U.S. Junior Heavyweight Champion Tommy Rogers is here, and he has a match right here on TV this week against Superstar Bill Dundee, who I guess has dropped so much damn weight since holding the Southern Heavyweight Title that he’s now eligible for a Junior Heavyweight Title. Tommy is going to give 100% and wishes him luck. Bill Dundee offers a rebuttal, and he’s kind of a dick about it. Tommy is a little put off by the ‘tude-copping and suddenly, this looks like it’s going to be a fight instead of a wrestling match.
-Bill tries to goad Tommy into a brawl with more insults and shoving, but Tommy knows what he’s trying to do and won’t take the bait. Bill CRACKS him with a slap across the face, and Tommy still won’t get suckered in a fight before match time. Dundee slaps him again, and Jerry Lawler comes out and weirdly instigates the brawl by throwing a punch at Dundee, and then Tommy throws down and slugs it out with Bill. Why?
-Jimmy Hart is back out here with the Bruise Brothers. The most interesting thing about this is that we’re a year away from the premiere of Punky Brewster and they actually insult Ricky Morton by calling him Punky. I always thought that nickname was a direct reference to the show.
-Jerry Lawler is back out here and it’s now very, very clear that Bill Dundee hasn’t really changed since the summer and he’s still a bad guy. But onto more pressing business. He’s been contacted by an attorney, and Andy Kaufman is filing a lawsuit. Jerry Lawler has hired his own attorney and he’s ready to go to court…unless Andy Kaufman is willing to settle this some other way.
-We get some pre-taped words from Andy Kaufman, who says that station managers have fielded complaints about his “helpful hint” segments, and he’s absolutely insulted that he gave up valuable time that he could have spent starring in TV shows, films, and plays to make videos helping the people of Memphis, and they aren’t grateful.
-Next up, Dave Brown picks up the phone, and Andy Kaufman is on the other end rampaging about how he took far too long to take the action he should have taken to begin with. He wanted to handle things like a man, but since Jerry Lawler does things like use illegal holds and fireballs in the ring. And Jerry Lawler has now deprived him of his livelihood. Because his face was disfigured by Lawler’s fire, he couldn’t appear on Taxi anymore, and ratings dropped so much that the show’s been cancelled! Honestly…I would blame that on Simka. Simka was just a bit too much.
-Jerry Lawler has heard enough and DARES Andy to come back to Memphis. And we get a big payoff from a few weeks ago, as Andy coyly says he’s already come back to Memphis, and Lawler doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Remember a few weeks ago when “Jimmy Hart” was in the chicken suit for Lawler’s title match, but then Jimmy Hart actually showed up on the other side of the ring? Well, there ya go. It was Andy Kaufman in the chicken suit, he cost Jerry Lawler the Southern Title, and Jerry Lawler didn’t even realize he was in the city. Andy gloats as Lawler is completely dumbstruck, and he just puts the phone away and walks off in a huff. Andy rants and raves to wrap things up, and in a really depressing moment, he has to pause in the middle of his tirade for a coughing fit. Shit.
-We head to the Mid-South Coliseum, where we have the match where Bill Dundee and Jerry Lawler were SUPPOSED to team up, but they want nothing to do with each other. Dundee suggests a match where he and Lawler wrestle, and the winner partners up with Austin Idol & Dutch Mantell. Eddie Marlin’s not in the mood for this shit and just tells Bill to go home, and even offers to just pay him as if he wrestled for the night, and Dundee storms off.
-So with that, Lawler, Idol, and Dutch do battle with the Moondogs and Man Mountain Link, with music video highlights of the action. Our heroes get the victory. We get pre-taped words from Austin Idol, who’s demanding a falls-count-anywhere match. Live in the studio, Dutch Mantell does a PERFECT Austin Idol impression to say that he and Jerry are up for it if Link and the Moondogs have any guts. I suspect they will.
-Back to Mid-South Coliseum, where Robert Reed and Ken Raper are defending their Tag Team Titles against the Assassins, who have vowed to win the championship back AND send Reed and Raper away in an ambulance. So the Assassins just beat both guys to a bloody pulp, get the pin, and finish up for the night with a piledriver on the concrete. Missions accomplished.
-They don’t get a minute’s rest, as they’re in the very next match at the Coliseum to defend the titles against the Fabulous Ones. Ref gets bumped as both guys collide head-first bouncing off the ropes. Assassin collapses on the mat, and Steve Keirn slumps into the ropes, which break his fall. Stan Lane, on the apron, steps over and just gives his partner an extra-hard shove, and the unconscious Keirn flops over onto the Assassin, and the referee revives and counts the pin. Now, if you left it at that, there is a perfectly good finish for Jimmy Hart to call bullshit on. But instead, your wacky booking is that the referee is so disoriented that he raises the Assassins’ arms and declares them the champions. The amount of head trauma needed to mistake Steve Keirn for a fatass in a mask cannot be explained by the bump that the referee took. So the championship is held up, and our rematch is set for next week with a million stipulations hung on it: No time limit, no disqualification, masks on the line, hair on the line.
