Mid-South Wrestling (11.2.1985) Review

-Originally aired November 2, 1985.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts. JR recounts the tragic incident that took place involving “Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s girlfriend,” because while it was tragic, it’s not tragic enough to merit giving her a name. Buzz Sawyer insists that his two striking blows on HJDG were a total accident. Mid-South has reviewed the footage and determined that there’s plausible deniability on the first bump, but he HAD to know the second time that he hit her. As a result, Mid-South has levied the largest fines in the history of the promotion: $5,000 apiece.

-We get a statement from Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who gives us a briefing on “my girl.” Even Hacksaw doesn’t know the name of Hacksaw’s girlfriend! Duggan does an emotional promo about spending two straight days at the hospital, regretting what he did. The last thing that happened before they went to the ring was he turned to her and assured her nothing was going to happen because, hey, Hacksaw’s here. And now she’s hurt. It is MADDENING to see Bill Watts’ endless search for the next Junkyard Dog when Duggan is right there, in his prime, with a huge fan following. He’s RIGHT. THERE.

“Mad Dog” BUZZ SAWYER vs. RICHARD DYE
-Spell that jobber’s name differently and it’s an instant spoiler for the match. Second-turnbuckle powerslam gets a quick three-count.

-Joel Watts has a special guest, Ricky Gibson. He congratulates his brother Robert and Ricky Morton for all the success they have wrestling on “the east coast” and reminds us that the Rock & Roll Express got their start in Mid-South, and they’ll never forget the Mid-South fans. Oooooooooof, I get what they’re going for, but that line of dialogue has an air of “this is the minor league” to it. We get a Rock & Roll Express music video, with something of an unspoken promise that they’ll be back for some limited runs in the future.

-Post-video, here are Ted DiBiase and Steve Williams to brag about how they told the Koloffs the secret to beating the Rock & Roll Express, because DiBiase & Williams already took a set of belts from the Express, so who better to spill the beans? Wendell Cooley & Al Perez suddenly arrive in the ring, suspecting that a 2-on-1 assault was about to happen, and they aren’t going to let DiBiase and Williams do a damn thing. DiBiase promises a big surprise is coming for the champs.

NON-TITLE: WILDCAT WENDELL COOLEY & AL PEREZ (Tag Team Champions) vs. TED DIBIASE & “Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS
-It’s a Vince Russo special, as the champs FORGOT TO READ THE FINE PRINT. DiBiase says that Cooley & Perez are trying to look like rock & rollers instead of wrestlers, and that’s just fine, he says, and he unleashes the single lamest stipulation in the history of a wrestling match: If Cooley & Perez lose, not only do they lose the title…but…wait for it…for the next 30 days, they must wrestle in leather pants and Nike sneakers. No, not Air Jordans! How can anyone be taken seriously as a credible athlete if they’re wearing Air Jordans??

-So after being treated to the sound of 300 people in New Orleans muttering “Who gives a shit” at the same time, Perez reveals that it’s a Deluxe Russo, because DiBiase and Williams FORGOT TO READ THE OTHER FINE PRINT. If Williams and DiBiase lose, they have to wear the leather pants and sneakers. Heated words are exchanged. DiBiase shoves Cooley, and Boyd Pierce goes bug-eyed and does a Looney Tunes run out of the ring while screaming for his life, and the crowd and Jim Ross collectively lose it at that because Boyd Pierce suddenly turning into Daffy Duck is more interesting than the Loser Wears Different Pants Than the Loser Would Normally Wear Match that’s transpiring.

-DiBiase gets an early edge and goes for a stepover toehold, but Cooley reverses it into a series of pinning combinations for rapid two-counts. Dropkicks clear the ring, and DiBiase is getting irked. Heels get the edge and Williams applies a bearhug. Cooley gets free and we get a pier sixer. Williams gets knocked to the floor. DiBiase gets knocked to the apron. Perez suplexes him back in, but Williams trips Perez from the floor so DiBiase lands on top of him for the three-count. Oh no, Cooley and Perez must now wear unconventional pants!

NON-TITLE: HACKSAW BUTCH REED (North American Champion) vs. DUTCH MANTELL
-Dutch attacks before the bell and inexplicably throws the referee to the floor. Dutch unleashes the most intense beating he can in 60 seconds, hitting the MX by the time the referee wakes up, but the referee calls for the bell…to officially start the match. What, seriously? Dutch gets a freebie because he assaulted the referee before the bell? Anyway, Butch recovers, football tackle from the second rope gets a quick win.

“Mr. Unpredictable” DICK SLATER (with Dark Journey) vs. STEVE DOLL
-But first, here’s Hacksaw Butch Reed to rip Dark Journey a new one for hanging out with a white man. So this is happening. He knows Dick Slater has $25,000 from Ric Flair, so he turns his back and offers Slater a free shot if he has the guts. Slater looks unnerved by the intensity on display, and probably also the racism. He insists that he gave Ric Flair his money back because he didn’t want to be involved in such a sketchy deal. This is huge if true, because that would mean that at some point in Ric Flair’s 50-year career, he saved $25,000.

-Reed leaves and Slater beats down Doll right quick, and a Samoan drop gets three.

THE BRUISE BROTHERS vs. EL CORSARIO & JERRY GRAY
-Man, El Corsario fell hard from that initial push. In the opposing corner, the Bruise Brothers wear black pants for this match, so apparently they lost a match to Ted DiBiase & Steve Williams at some point in the last 30 days. Corsario gets beat up, Gray gets beat up, splash gets three.

-Eddie Gilbert is in the ring with that painting of himself again, because he’s generated a massive amount of interest. He’s changing the rules of the contest because many of the 25-word essays just focus on his beautiful face. So now it’ll take a 50-word essay to win the painting, because 50 words will be more of a challenge for Mid-South fans.

“Hot Stuff” EDDIE GILBERT vs. JIMMY BACKLUND
-Boyd announces that at Gilbert’s request, he will now be billed as hailing from “every girl’s dream.” Gilbert makes it quick and finishes with the hot shot.

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Your top angles were racism and "haha, you have to wear sneakers!" Let's...move past it.