Mid-South Wrestling (2.16.1985) Review

-Originally aired February 16, 1985.

-Your hosts are Boyd Pierce and Bill Watts.

DIRTY WHITE BOYS vs. SHAWN MICHAELS & TIM HORNER
-The Confederate flag-draped white trash heels get a babyface reception in Shreveport, while clean-cut Michaels and Horner ae booed. Must be some of those “confusion tactics” I’ve heard so much about from Watts.

-They do the Anderson sacrifice immediately to wipe out Tim Horner. Michaels (wearing Irish-themed tights all of a sudden) tags in. Slam and a series by elbows by the Len Denton. Double Russian legsweep looks to finish, but Denton enjoys grappling for some reason and wants to continue the match. Samoan drop finishes off Michaels instead.

-JR is with Dr. Death. He has suffered a stress fracture in his forearm as a result of last week’s match with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. The doctors have given him a special forearm pad to wear in his matches from now on. JR examines it and signs off on it, and Bill Watts agrees that there really does not seem to be anything unethical about the pad.

“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS & EDCAR “BOO” THOMAS vs. MIKE JACKSON & MARK COOPER
-Dr. Death has a new tag team partner, a fellow OU All-American, with a name that I would not have sent him out there with.

-Thomas and Jackson go to the mat to start, and Thomas overwhelms Jackson quickly. Williams tags in and gets stung by a few shots, but Williams gets fired up and takes on both opponents singlehandedly. Stampede on Cooper gets three. This was a pretty smart match layout, as Thomas did everything he was qualified to do in his first attempt at this ever, and once he did that, he immediately got out and let the experienced badass take over.

THE “BEST-DRESSED MAN IN MID-SOUTH” CONTEST
-DiBiase is out here in his tux and white gloves again, but instead of last week’s cane, DiBiase has an aluminum bat. Three referees immediately rush the ring to deal with that, and DiBiase tells them straight-up to search Duggan when he gets here, and if Duggan’s clean, he’ll surrender the bat.

-Duggan struts to the ring in a white tux to contrast DiBiase’s black tux. Duggan immediately assumes the position like he’s leaning over the hood of a car, and after complaining about excess groping from Pee-Wee, DiBiase is satisfied that he’s clean and surrenders the bat.

-JR tells the fans to vote with their cheering. DiBiase does a runway walk, fans boo. Duggan does nothing, fans cheer. DiBiase cries “conspiracy” and accuses Duggan of hand-picking and planting every fan in attendance. DiBiase demands ANOTHER contest this week, but this time with an electronic meter measuring the audience reaction, even though it wouldn’t accomplish anything with a rigged audience. Imagine contradicting yourself after crying about a conspiracy. I appreciate DiBiase’s unblinking hypocrisy while laying out all of his grievances. Duggan tells him “Okay, fine” but this week’s contest is definitely a victory for him no matter what.

HACKSAW BUTCH REED vs. KAMALA (with Skandar Akbar & Friday)
-Reed comes to the ring wearing black and white facepaint, causing Boyd Pierce to gasp and exclaim, “I’m seeing double here! FOUR Kamalas!” So this is clearly Reed wearing similar facepaint as a screw-with-Kamala tactic, but Bill Watts gotta Bill Watts, so he explains that Reed is painting his face because he’s going back to his roots for this savage battle. I had no idea Kansas City was so underdeveloped.

-Reed is so fired up that he just rattles Kamala with punch after punch until Kamala tumbles out of the ring. Back in, Kamala just gets battered with forearms and clubbing. Kamala fights back with chops and chokes Reed out. Kicks by Kamala, and he goes to the nurpilizer, in an attempt to nurpilize Reed. Watts says that Kamala’s methods are a matter of “basic instinct,” and that’s a mental image that I did not want before, nor will I need in the future.

-Reed comes back with punches and a tackle. Akbar and Friday hit the ring for the DQ, and Watts declares this a ghetto situation now. Buddy Landell comes to the ring to get some, but King Parsons provides backup, and one wrestler after another hits the ring for a spontaneous battle royal. Dr. Death hits the ring with his new forearm pad and knocks Terry Taylor out cold, establishing that it is, in actuality, a SINISTER elbow pad. Reed is knocked out cold and Kamala teases coming off the top rope, but Hacksaw Jim Duggan saves the day with the 2×4.

-Bill Watts apologizes to the fans…for his strained voice. After your commentary for that match, you’re concerned that the sound of your voice is the problem.

-BREAKING: As a result of that melee, Grizzly Smith is calling off the TV Title match because Terry Taylor is not in condition to wrestle.

-Jake “The Snake” Roberts does NOT take that well, claiming he’s been cheated out of ANOTHER shot of a TV Title match. Brad Armstrong gamely comes to the ring and offers himself as a substitute, but Jake doesn’t want him because he’s not even as good as his “washed-up father.” Armstrong slaps Jake right in the face for that, and Jake promises revenge for that…later. And then he takes off.

TAG TEAM TITLE: ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS (Champions) vs. ALAMO BUSTERS
-Two referees for this one.

-Robert Gibson starts with Chavo while Bill Watts confirms that they will have an electronic applause meter for next week’s taping. It’s a good thing that the Boys’ Club is located across the street from Electronic Applause Meter, Bath, and Beyond. As for this match, no Mexican referees were available, despite the Guerrero family’s demands, but Watts assures us that these are two top referees in charge of this match.

-Ricky and Hector go to war now. Series of dropkicks send Hector scurrying to the corner. Chavo hastily tags back in and gets Ricky on the mat with flying headscissors. Chavo releases and pops him right in the face with a legdrop. Hector comes back in and we get some nice drama with the two referees disagreeing on whether the Express made a legal tag, and they take so long arguing about it while Robert has to wait on the apron helplessly and Ricky gets double-teamed. You’d think that’s going to be the screwy finish, but instead, the referees simply resolve the issue and the Express clears the ring with dropkicks. We have an SNME-style break in the action, so we pause for a commercial.

-We’re back with Chavo getting a rare successful corner charge on Robert. Uppercuts follow. Hector splashes Robert for two. Guerreros attempt some double-teaming behind the referee’s back, but since we have two referees, that gets cut off.

-Hector snapmares Robert and drops the leg for two. Hector goes back to the uppercuts. Robert fights back but he’s so dizzy that he goes to the wrong corner when he tries to tag out. Chavo has Robert so battered that he does an elaborate climb and backflip to showboat, but he misses a corner charge, and Robert gets the hot tag. All four men are in the ring. Referees try to break it up, and it leads to a DOUBLE ref bump!

-Chavo puts Ricky in a surfboard and since both referees are out, Hector sneaks to the top rope, and AGAIN, that appears to be the obvious screwy finish, but we get another curveball here, as one referee wakes up and Hector freezes in place, not knowing what to do. Robert slams him off the top rope and then breaks the surfboard.

-All four men brawl again, with a series of two counts as the referees have clearly lost track of who the legal men are and they’re counting for every guy who tries a pin, and Watts concedes that we have a major problem if no one is sure who the legal men are.

-Referees are still trying to whittle it down to just two men in the ring. Express clears the Guerreros from the ring as Watts gives us the 30-second TV time warning. All four men brawl some more to run out the clock. The Guerreros try one last trick, but the Express whips them together as the bell sounds for TV time. DAMN! The finish is a bit of a cheat, but that was still possibly the all-time best tag team match ever on this show, with the booking playing the fans’ emotions like a symphony.

9.9

The final score: review Amazing

The 411

They started the hour by promising us one of the all-time great hours of this show and by god they delivered. I can't give it the full score, as a firm believer in the Dick Clark edict that nothing can ever be perfectly good or perfectly bad, but this hour didn't leave THAT much room for improvement.