NWA TNA PPV Report 05.06.04

This is Dave Gagnon. This is TNA, May 6th 2004.

Thank God, nobody noticed that I said that Abyss defeated Sabu last week when, in fact, Sabu won by DQ.

I am working tomorrow at 8 so I don’t have a lot of time but here’s your TNA report.

Your hosts are, as always, Mike Tenay and SCREAMING DON WEST.

Before we start, let’s not forget the silliest rating system around, The Exclusive Dave Gagnon TNA Rating System!

AJ Styles Rating: Excellent Match
Raven Rating: Very Good Match
Jeff Jarrett Rating: Good Match
Sonny Siaki Rating: Average Match
Jonny Fairplay Rating: Bad Match

Show opened with 3 Live Kru. They are upset about what happened in last week’s Killings/Styles match. Konnan bitched about the fact that Styles is Russo’s boy. They asked that Killings gets a rematch. Monty Brown came out because…uh…well…he wants to. Pull apart brawl. Russo asked 3LK to leave the building in the next 30 minutes. Russo being a face is like a porno movie without a lesbian scene: it doesn’t feel right.

1st match: That Poor Guy Sonjay Dutt vs Amazing Red

This is the first match of their 2 best out of 3 series. I guess that means that Dutt will finally win a match. I won’t predict the winner of this series because I picked Montreal to beat Tampa and they got swept in 6. Kazarian watched this match. I *think* that the winner of this match will be the no.1 contender of the X title. Not much a high flying match, maybe they’re saving it for the rubber match. Sonjay Dutt won (you read that right) with La Magistral.

Winner: Sonjay Dutt by pinfall at 8:40
Rating: Sonny Siaki

2nd Match: Shane Douglas vs Shawn Michaels’ Cousin.

Traci came out with Douglas. If Russo is booking, she’ll turn on him in the next two weeks because it’s the swerve thing to do. Hmmmm. Who is the face, exactly? Michael Shane worked on the shoulder most of the time. Shane Douglas eventually came back and won with the help of a chain. Post match saw Douglas having his way with Shane until Traci hit him with the cast. I heard that she is related to Bob Orton. Beatdown on Douglas until security ran in.

Winner: Shane Douglas by pinfall in 8:25.
Rating: Sonny Siaki

Third Match: Team TNA vs Team Canada

Ok so Team Canada is now “Pizza Delivery” Petey Williams, Johnny Devine, Eric Young and Bobby Rude. Team TNA is Jerry Lynn, Elix Skipper, Chris Sabin and Christopher Daniels. Great match with tremendous heat. I thought that Team Canada was a bunch of scrubs but they impressed me tonight. Highlight of the match was this very innovative sequence that actually came off well: Two guys from Canada went up to the middle rope for a superplex. Then two guys from Team TNA got on the middle rope to back suplex the superplexing guys but two more Canadians got underneath for a power bomb. That was a great team effort and looked great. That’s the best way to sell the upcoming PPV with these teams. An other highlight was Christoper Daniels doing a reverse top rope Frankensteiner on Devine. I thought that this move was only possible in a PS2 game but they proved me wrong. From there, a bunch of nearfalls until Scott D’Amore, the coach of Team Canada, ran in. If you watched the last Americas Cup, you know that this former WWF jobber interferes a lot. I don’t care, I love heel managers. More power to him! Jerry Lynn went after him. He then set up his cradle piledriver on Rude but D’Amore hit him with a hockey stick that was connected to the Canadian flag and Rude got the pin. There’s nothing more Canadian than using a hockey stick as a foreign object.

Winner: Team Canada by pinfall in 10:45
Rating: Aww, what the hell, AJ STYLES.

4th match: Trinity vs Desire

Short match (duh). You can always count on a women’s match after a great match to give the crowd a rest. I remember when Terri Runnels and The Kat wrestled after the first TLC match. Or the triple threat match at WMX8 after Hogan/Rock. Anyway, I don’t know what to say except Trinity is hot. A kick to the back sealed the deal and Trinity won. After the match, Trinity kept pounding on Desire until Siaki ran in.

Winner: Trinity by pinfall in 2:50
Rating: Jonny Fairplay

Backstage, The New York Connection attacked Irish Pat Kenney (that’s Simon Diamond’s new awful name). They used this opportunity because Kenney’s buddy (Siaki) was in the ring. They poured Irish beer and green paint on him. For the record, I hate Guiness beer. Kilkenny’s is much better though.

5th match: Erik Watts vs Abyss in a “Erik Watts Has No Chance In Hell Match”

Dead crowd for a boring match. The only highlight was that Goldylocks was there. Watts went after her but ran into a black hole slam. There’s an angle going on here but it is too confusing for me and it really sucks so we won’t talk about it. Abyss attacked him after the match. Watts tried a couple of comebacks but to no avail.

Winner: Abyss by pinfall in 6:00.
Rating: Jonny Fairplay

LA PARKA is in TNA! Well, it could be someone disguising as La Parka but we’ll see later. My money is on Diamond Dallas Page (must…stop…1998 jokes). Raven attacked La Parka because he is a dick.

Main Event: A.J. Styles (c) -vs Raven – NWA World Hvt. Title Match

Very good match. Raven worked on AJ’s left arm throughout the match, using different armbars.Letting Raven go was probably the biggest mistake WWE did in 2003. The guy is so talented on many levels, it’s absurd. The story of the match was Styles using his athletic prowess but Raven would always damage the arm to get the upperhand. Highlight of the match: Raven reversed the Styles Clash into a Fujiwara Armbar. Raven pulled something out of his tights but Styles blocked him and got it. It was a prescription bottle. Styles threw white powder in Raven’s eyes at the same time Raven superkicked him. The blinded Raven drop toe holded the ref on a chair. Styles then gave Raven his own drop toe hold onto a chair. Great looking spot: Styles did a springboard 450 splash on Raven but no ref to count the pinfall. Raven came back and used a chair to the head of Styles but once again no ref to count the pinfall. La Parka ran in with a DDT on Raven and then Styles used a Styles clash and the ref woke up to count the pinfall. After the match, we found out that La Parka was in fact Chris Harris. James Storm joined him and they beat on Raven. Harris challenged Styles for the title next week and he accepted. AJ is a fighting champion, that’s for sure.

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall at 16:00
Rating: Raven

Next week:
Sonjay Dutt vs Amazing Red
Hector Garza & Mr. Aguila vs. Bobby Rude & Petey Williams
Michael Shane vs. Shane Douglas in a belts and paddles legal match
B.G. James vs. Monty Brown
Kid Kash vs. James Storm
A.J. Styles vs. Chris Harris for NWA title

There’s also a good chance that they will announce their tv deal with Fox Sports Net. The show will air friday afternoons at 3 PM. Talk about the timeslot from hell.

I’ll be here next week. Be sure to check out my saturday column at 411Black: Le Samedi Noir. Matt Nute is the special guest, this saturday!

See you next week!

Gags