The Mount Rushmore of Ridiculous Matches and Moments From WCW In 2000

TANK ABBOT VS BIG AL – LEATHER JACKET ON A POLE MATCH – SUPERBRAWL 2000

Why It’s On The Mountain: Holy shit. Where to even begin. This is easily my favorite WCW 2000 moment of all time, because it’s absolutely INSANE. First off, who the fuck is Big Al? We saw him once or twice before this, and apparently he’s a former friend of Tank who feels Tank is a bitch for leaving UFC for WCW. Naturally, to settle this beef, they have a Leather Jacket On A Pole Match. This particular jacket has UFC patches, so you know it’s very valuable. After the match, we never saw Big Al again, making this all that more weird. I mean, it looked like they had ZERO idea what they were going to do out there, absolutely zero idea. And this was on PPV! People had paid money for a show, and this was part of what they were given. This is what WCW thought was acceptable to do to paying customers.

Tank Abbot vs Big Al – Leather Jacket On A Pole Match – SuperBrawl 2000
They start off with Tank screaming “Let’s go! Let’s fucking go!” and Big Al takes off his belt, and suggests they tie their hands together. Of course, soon as Tank locks hands Big Al drops the stupid belt, then they try to tie their hands up but the belt is too short, and there’s no way to secure it, so Tank has to kinda hold on to the end of it. They then sit there and walk in a circle going “C’mon! Let’s go! Yeah, we’ll go! Let’s go!” and hitting each other in the side of the head with their wrists. IT’S SO FUCKING WEIRD. They’re acting like cartoons. Then Big Al hits him with his wrist in the forehead which knocks out Tank? The then goes to the outside and acts like he’s gonna crotch Tank on the ring-post, but then just goes “Nah, he’s too good for it!”. He then gets back in the ring, and could clearly grab the stupid jacket, but instead just tries to stand on Tank’s face and balance. That’s it. IT’S SO FUCKING WEIRD. Then, out of the blue, Tank gets up, and we’re back to “C’mon! Let’s go! Yeah! You wanna go? Let’s go!” and starts throwing shots at Al that look legit and worked, I have no idea what to make of it. He knocks him out, throws him over his shoulder, and attempts to climb up and grab the jacket. However, once he gets to the top rope, he accidentally drops Big Al like a sack of shit, and then just leaps off the ring and goes “ARRGH!” as he gives him the stupidest punch to the chest ever. He then climbs up and grabs the stupid jacket. Now, of course, after that, he pulls a knife from it…WHY WAS THERE A KNIFE IN THE JACKET? Of course, Tank jumps down, puts a knife to Big Al’s throat and lets him know he could kill him. Then Tony says “Perhaps they were scissors and he was going to cut his beard off?”. Now, Big Al doesn’t have a beard, so that makes Tony appear to be insane. However, he could have been talking about Tank cutting off his own beard, which, again, makes Tony insane. I just can’t get enough of this whole match and ordeal. And just as an FYI, what follows this on the PPV is Big T vs Booker T for the rights to the letter T, the name Harlem Heat, the music, and yes, the flames that come up during the entrance. Truly two of the dumbest fucking things in wrestling history, back to back.

HULK HOGAN VS JEFF JARRETT [C] – WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – BASH AT THE BEACH 2000

Why It’s On The Mountain: I know that here at Mt. Rushmore we don’t list things, as they’re all equal, but, man, it’s super-hard to not place this at #1. It’s the embodiment of everything about WCW at that point, especially Russo. See, Vince is in LOVE with work-shoots, as this would be like his 3rd or 4th at this point, and easily the biggest. He so badly wanted a Montreal Screwjob moment. However, what he doesn’t realize, is you can’t work something like this and have it take off. It just doesn’t happen. It has to be legit real for it to result in anything interesting, and the Montreal Screwjob was a 1 in a billion moment matched and timed perfectly with the rise of the hottest star in history and the creation of arguably the greatest heel ever, Mr. McMahon.

See, Russo just doesn’t know how shit works. If what had happened was real, then there’s no way he would have come out and talked about it afterward. The WWE NEVER did that. Vince did an interview about Bret, because it was needed, and it was AFTER the Screwjob. He didn’t cut a promo right after. And the promo was so fucking stupid. The whole THING was just so fucking stupid. Plus, even if it went over and rolled as wanted, the fans would not have given a fuck when Hogan came back 6 months later and feuded with Jarrett over who was the real champion. Especially since they changed that damn belt like 500 times in a year.

Hulk Hogan vs Jeff Jarrett [C] – WCW World Heavyweight Championship
They come out, Jarrett immediately lies down, Hogan pins him with his foot, then gets on the mic and says “This is why this company is in the damn shape that it’s in, because of bullshit like this”. Looking at it, it’s just so clearly a work. Because, again, if this shit happened, Hogan wouldn’t have been given a mic! It would have been a huge deal, and people would have been super confused. God, it’s just so fucking bad.

GOLDBERG RELIVING THE STREAK / GOLDBERG VS KRONIK – HALLOWEEN HAVOC 2000

Why It’s On The Mountain: On the October 2nd edition of Nitro, Russo, who was feuding with Goldberg, despite only a month and a half earlier they turned Goldberg heel, which was going to shake up the industry and everything. Yeah, so less than 2 months later they just turn him back. Anyway, during the October 2nd edition of Nitro, Russo informs Goldberg that in order to get a shot at the WCW Title, he’d have to win 176 matches in a row. Yes. Russo’s great, creative genius was to do the streak AGAIN. Seriously, in what fucking world does this make sense, or even sound remotely like a good idea?! Did they really think that people would tune in for this? It’s lazy booking of the utmost. Especially after they spent almost 2 full years killing him dead. Naturally, they simply forgot about this and quit giving a shit about a month or so into it, but not after killing their biggest tag-team, Kronik. Now, Kronik was basically a much less cooler version of the APA. They were the APA for the gay-bondage scene. At least that’s how I interrupted their look. Regardless, they were getting over as some pretty big ass-kickers, with a gimmick that honestly wasn’t too bad, despite just being a lame rehash. That said, WCW saw fit to completely ruin and squash that, but having Goldberg not only beat both of them, AT THE SAME TIME, but did so in less than 4 minutes! FOUR MINUTES!

Everything from trying to turn Goldberg heel, to all of a sudden making him repeat the streak, to defeating a team they were trying to build up and was catching on, makes this perfect WCW 2000.

Goldberg vs Kronik – Halloween Havoc 2000
We got Stevie Ray on commentary for the PPV, and honestly, he’s pretty decent. They immediately start beating on him, and he sells a little, while trying to fight back. They bring out a table, even though they never said this was a No Holds Barred match, but such is WCW at this point. He pins Adams after a spear through a table, which the ref rings the bell for. But then says no. And the announcers are saying it’s over, then saying no, it’s not, as he apparently has to beat both. So, that’s good, don’t just bury them, give them a Triple H style bury. Clarke is able to hit a few things, but then eats a spear & Jackhammer for the win. They’re literally talking and treating Goldberg as if it’s June, 1998. Absolutely ridiculous.

VINCE RUSSO VS BOOKER T [C] – WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – CAGE MATCH

Why It’s On The Mountain: Before I get into why, I’m sure a lot of you are already thinking “Um…aren’t you missing something, something rather big?” and the answer is no. I’m fully aware of David winning the strap, but I didn’t include him for a few reasons. The first being that the WCW Title didn’t mean SHIT at this point. Nothing. So there was no devaluing it. Second, David legit loves and respects the business. He trained for it, he shot the idea down countless times, and he donated all the money he made during this to the families of Owen & Brian Pillman. Vince Russo on the other hand, doesn’t respect the business. At all. He never trained. Ever. He had a ridiculous ego, and truly thought his bullshit would help WCW. When you hear him talk about WCW these days, he takes responsibility for absolutely ZERO. Honest to God, I’ve never ONCE heard him say “Yeah, that sucked, that’s my bad”. No, it was always someone else’s fault. Or the idea would have been great, had suchandsuch not mucked it up. I’ve never met him, clearly never worked with him, so I really can’t say what type of person he is, other than what I hear from people I respect & trust. Russo wasn’t over in the slightest, and at this point had driven WCW down into the red faster than anyone would have thought humanly possible. There was absolutely zero merit or need for this, let alone him beating Booker T, in a steel cage, in the main event of a Nitro. Bro.

Booker T [C] vs Vince Russo – WCW World Heavyweight Title
The only thing enjoyable about this match is Jeremy Borash on commentary being a total kiss-ass for Vince. He’s great. The match starts with Russo hitting Booker in the back with a baseball bat, and keeping at it. He then gets a ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring in an attempt to rip open the ceiling and climb out. However, a few of the WCW guys who’ve come out to watch, climb up to the top to stop him, at which point Sting repels down. Although he gets zero pop and it’s pointless and stupid because Mike Awesome and Kwee Wee blew his spot by already being there. Soon after, Lex Luger comes from the crowd and slips a pipe in for Russo. All the announcers talk about Luger, and legit 10 seconds after the fact, Scott Hudson screams “IT’S LEX LUGER!”. Well, a ref takes a bump, which then the cage opens up and 36 refs and 27 EMTs come in. One of those EMTs is Flair, and he clocks Russo a few times before Russo fucks up the Figure 4 spot, because he’s THAT INEPT. Then the Natural Born Thrillers come out to fight with the WCW faces, for absolutely zero reason. Then Goldberg comes out, with music, and gets in the cage, then Steiner comes out and tries to get in, but Booker kicks the door into his face, as Russo then tries to spear Booker but gets speared by Goldberg who takes him through the cage and crashing into the barricade. He then high-fives Booker who is more like “Uh, bruh…”. I mean..holy shit, they literally tried to cram EVERY WCW wrestler in there, for absolutely no reason. Match wise this was typical WCW in 2000, a completely over-booked piece of shit where everything meant absolutely nothing. However, I will freely admit to being entertained thanks to Borash and Madden. Now, I NEVER thought I’d say that, but when Madden has another heel to work with, and isn’t trying so damn hard, he can make it work. Russo wins, and forfeits the title the next week. So, him and his pal Ed are both champions who gave up the strap undefeated. Perfect.