Ring Crew Reviews: WCW Uncensored 1998

• In case you’re a glutton for punishment, here are some previous WCW Uncensoredshows:

• WCW Uncensored 1995

• WCW Uncensored 1997

• WCW Uncensored 1999

• Scheduled Card:
1. WCW World Television Champ: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T (c).
2. Konnan vs. Juvented Guerrera.
3. WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho (c).
4. Scott Steiner vs. Lex Luger.
5. Triple Jeopardy Match for the WCW United States Championship: Raven vs. Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page (c).
6. Kevin Nash vs. Giant.
7. Curt Hennig vs. Bret Hart.
8. WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Scott Hall vs. Sting (c).
9. Steel Cage Match: Hollywood Hogan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage.

• We last left off with Macho splitting with Hogan and the n.W.o and costing him against Sting in the rematch for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship at Superbrawl VIII. Meanwhile, Scott Hall is finally getting his world title shot from winning WW3 back in November of 97. Brain says there’s a lot of tension tonight because he doesn’t think Hogan could handle Hall winning the belt. Tony says Hogan would be fine with it, but Brain reminds me that Hogan wants Hall to hand the belt over and in the words of Heenan: “Nobody’s that dumb.”

• WCW World Television Champ: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T (c). Chavo lost a match against Eddie on Thunder and now Chavo is his reluctant second forced to learn the heelish ways of Uncle Eddie, a gimmick that would put Chavo on the map. Tony puts over how Eddie can add to his “collection of wrestling titles” tonight because he’s already won the cruiserweight and US championship belts. Book is TV champ after taking it off Martel after the Model tore his ACL mid-match back in February. Tenay is putting over Book’s victory and then retention against Saturn as his big singles breaththrough.

• The crowd lets them know that EDDIESUXEDDIESUX! Eddie forces the humanoids to wait as he uses the rope break to keep Book at distance. Eddie does it again to HUGE boos. EDDIESUXEDDIESUX! One more time and the crowd is ready to tar and feather Eddie. Book finally gets his hands on him and sends him flying with a big backdrop. Book spins him around with a Sidewalk Slam and Eddie begs off. Book clubs him down for a bit of street justice and clotheslines him out to the floor. Like a true bastard, Eddie blames CHAVO for what’s transpired. Eddie slides back in and begs off and wants a shake. EDDIESUXEDDIESUX! No one gets heat like mid to late 90s Eddie Guerrero. Book shakes anyway but “uncles” Eddie and then hook kicks him down. Book with a big powerslam and says it’s over. Eddie bails out to the floor again and says he’s taking a walk. Book chases him down and slams him on the concreate for his cowardly ways. Back in, Book with a back elbow for a 2 count. He raises the roof into a press slam and heads up top for the missile dropkick but Eddie crotches him on the top rope and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL, TIJUANA STYLE! Eddie with a TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX for a double KO spot. Book fights back with forearms and a superkick. Book goes for the Ax Kick but Eddie clips the knee with the dropkick. WOOOOOOOOOO! Eddie now wraps it around the apron and then slingshots out to the floor with the LATINO HEAT HAMMER! Eddie then AWESOMELY mocks T’s raising the roof routine for the front row. Eddie: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” He then pantomimes jerking some man nectar onto the front row. HEEL EDDIE! Tony: “Chavo shaking his head in disgust at his uncle. He’s not the only one that feels that way.” Heel Eddie is on wrestling Mt. Rushmore ahead of so many other all-time greats, it’s unreal.

• Back in, Eddie torques the leg with a half crab and even uses the ropes for leverage behind the ref’s back. Brain, showing off his experience, explains the psychology of the cheating: “See a lot of people wondering, him putting his feet on the second rope, how does that really hurt that man’s leg? Well, it doesn’t really hurt his leg. What happens is, when Booker T tries to extend his leg, HE CAN’T! He’s using more energy, he’s putting more pressure on that leg. That’s what Eddie Guerrero is doing there.” Tony: “I guess that’s why they call you, the Brain!” Brain: “No, I’ve been stalking Tenay for two weeks and know everything.” Tony steals a page from Monsoon telling Brain to stop. While Eddie works the hold more, Brain detours into how the Guerrero family should punish Eddie: “It’s very simple: if the family doesn’t like Eddie, cut him out of the will.” Tony: “That may have been done, I don’t know.” Brain: “Put me in.” Tony: “That hasn’t been done; I know that.” Brain: “What would I do with a ’56 Buick anyway?”ANYWAY, Nick Patrick finally catches Eddie with his feet on the ropes and forces his to release the hold. Book chases Eddie into the corner but the knee is too hurt and he slows up and Eddie waffles him down. Eddie slingshots in with the senton ON THE KNEE! WOOOO! Eddie covers for 1, 2, only 2. Book bails out for a breather and Eddie slips slightly on a splash to the floor but Book catches him anyway. Back in, Eddie with a Saito suplex for another nearfall. Eddie sends Book off but Book comes back with a flapjack and ignores the leg to spinarooni. Brain tries to yell on commentary that Book’s knee should, ya know, BE SOLD but Book can’t hear him and hits the Ax Kick. Book with the Alabama Slam and heads up for the Missile Dropkick. Book whiffs but lands on his feet(!) and STILL doesn’t sell an iota of the knee work. Bastard. Book hotshots Eddie into the turnbuckle. Book goes for another Ax Kick but Eddie ducks and Book’s leg gets hung up in the ropes. HA! SELL THAT! Eddie goes for the top rope rana but Book shoves off Eddie and hits the Missile Dropkick anyway. Book covers for a nonchalant 1, 2, 3 to retain at 11:11.

• Book was so crazy athletic and capable of having a good match, just based on his comebacks alone because he had years of experience watching Stevie take heat and then coming in for the heavy lifting. However, his selling is random and inconsistent and he’s just not in the league of someone like Eddie, that it drags the match down a bit when he doesn’t do something as simple as limp before trying a missile dropkick or spinaroonie. This is still a very good match that plays on the strengths of both guys – Eddie’s awesomeness at everything and Book’s kicks and slams. ***1/2

• Post-match, Eddie is peeved at Chavo’s smirking at Uncle Eddie’s fate in losing. Eddie tries to make nice but then puts the boots to Chavo from behind.

• Meanwhile, Lee Marshall and Mark Madden are back at the “internet position” with Scott Steiner. Marshall wants to talk about Lex Luger but Scotty wants to talk about his bicep and threaten Marshall instead.

• Konnan vs. Juvented Guerrera. Since joining WCW back in 96, Konnan has seen the light of black and white and is now in the n.W.o. Juvy lost his mask last month against Jericho and is now a Desperado inspired heart throb. He spinkicks Konnan from behind at the start and goes to the chops. Konnan sniffs out a backdrop and clubs Juvy down with a clothesline. After touch ‘n go, Juvy headscissors him out to the floor and goes for a suicide dive but comes up dry. Konnan pulls him to the floor and tosses him into the stairs. Konnan rearranges the furniture but Juvy smashes Konnan into the stairs and then springboards off the stairs with a flying hipcheck. Back in, Juvy with a dropkick for 1, 2, only 2. Konnan tilt-a-whirls Juvy around and hotshots him into the ropes and applies an Indian Deathlock. Konnan paintbrushes him a few times while in the hold before releasing and chopping some respect into him in the corner. ORALE! Juvy tries to come back with a Victory Roll but gets folded up with a German suplex. Konnan catapults Juvy back into the turnbuckle and flips him over. Konnan works him over in the corner and then hair tosses him across the ring. Konnan rolls him into a Boston Crab and then grabs the arms for the ROCKING HORSE!

• Konnan rolls him under a bit far and then sits on Juvy’s NECK. That looked sick. Juvy bails out to make sure his spine is still aligned. Juvy rolls around trying to regain his bearings. Back in, they pick up where they left off with Konnan hitting an awkward delayed FU for a 2 count. Konnan puts him up top for the super German suplex but Juvy lands on his feet and Konnan is hooked in the Tree of Woe. Juvy swarms him with dropkicks. Juvy goes for a baseball slide through but Konnan captures him in a nice wheelbarrow suplex, 1, 2, nearfall. Tony: “DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF COUNTING OUT JUVENTUD GUERRERA BEFORE HE’S READY!” Juvy is toast but manages to counter a powerbomb with a facebuster. He pulls Konnan over to the corner for the 450. Juvy heads up top but Konnan rolls under! Juvy lands on his feet but Konnan catches him in the Package Pittsburgh Plunge. Cover gets 1, 2, 2 ½. Juvy tries a counter but gets dropped down in a crucifix for another 2 count. Juvy musters up enough strength for the roll up for 1, 2, 3 to get the sudden win at 10:24.

• Konnan hangs around after the match so Juvy tries to jump him. Konnan promptly kicks his ass again and tosses him to the floor like garbage.

• Despite the participants, not a crazy cruiserweight spot-fest. Just an average match getting over Juvy as an underdog with an iron will, just like every Billy Kidman match. ***

• Meanwhile, Gene Mean is with JJ Dillon. JJ says he was given a request from The Giant to unban the powerbomb for his match tonight against Kevin Nash. IT’S UNCENSORED! FOR TONIGHT AND TONIGHT ONLY, THE POWERBOMB IS ALLOWED!

• WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho (c). C’MON BABY! 3 Cruiserweight matches in a row? There’s no Glacier-Scott Norton match? Or Cat-Road Block to clog things up? No complaining from me. Jericho spots a Jericholic sign and then tears it up: “I’M TOO GOOD TO BE HIS ROLE MODEL!” For those that don’t know, Jericho is THE MAN…. OF 1004 HOLDS! See, Jericho was in the middle of arguably the best run of his career running roughshod over the cruiserweight division and generally, making Malenko’s life hell.

• Malenko with a quick TD and goes to the front facelock. Jericho tries some chain to counter but Malenko drop toe holds him into a faceplant. Jericho talks trash to Charles Robinson to get him to stop Malenko from, ya know, outwrestling him. Unfortunately for Jericho, Malenko continues grabbing any limb he can get his hands on and bending them into submission. Jericho talks trash so Malenko with a top wristlock TD. Jericho sends him off but Malenko plows through with a shoulderblock. Jericho throws a tantrum and it turns into a shoving match. Dean ducks behind with an O’Connor Roll but Jericho avoids and then enzuigiris Malenko to boos. Jericho goes for the springboard plancha but Malenko ducks and Jericho eats it to the floor. Jericho has HAD IT and decides he’s taking a walk. Jericho finally trots back to beat the count but runs into Malenko stomping a mudhole. Malenko goes for a leap frog but Jericho catches him in a spinebuster. Jericho struts around awkwardly and gets the C’MONBABY for 1, 2, only 2. Jericho with a vertical suplex also for 2. Brain: “Jericho’s getting frustrated. He’s thinking, ‘What do I have to do to beat this guy?’… I mean, Jericho knows 4 more holds than Malenko.” Tony: [in disgust] “You believe that? YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?!” Brain: “No…. 3 maybe, 2… but not 4.” ANYWAY, Jericho snapmares Malenko over and goes to the anchor hold. To add insult to resthold, Jericho fish hooks the mouth and then stomps Malenko down. Jericho tells all the ALABAMA SWEAT HOGS to keep it down. He suplexes Malenko over and hits the Lionsault for 1, 2, Malenko’s foot on the ropes. Jericho throws another tantrum as Malenko tries to fight back. Jericho shrugs it of and goes to the BLATANTCHOKE. Charles Robinson starts the count but rather than tell the ref he has until 5, Jericho one-ups Dragon: “STOP COUNTING AND ASK HIM! ASK HIM!”

• Jericho reluctantly releases only to backbreak Malenko into a submission. Jericho releases the hold and demands Charles Robinson to ring the bell. They slug it out in the corner but Jericho’s chops fire up Malenko and he fires back with headbutts and a BACK SUPLEX! 1, 2, nearfall but man did the crowd explode. Jericho up first sentons Malenko to keep him down. Jericho ties Malenko up in the corner and dropkicks him into the turnbuckle. Jericho chokes a bit more and then paintbrushes Malenko around. Malenko avoids a charge and tries a suplex but Jericho lands on his feet. Jericho now slides out of a Malenko suplex and counters to a NICE reverse suplex. Awesome sequence. Jericho goes for the Liontamer but Malenko grabs the ropes. Jericho ducks behind but Malenko counters to the wheelbarrow roll up for 1, 2, 2.7. Backslide gets another nearfall. Malenko kips out to the apron so Jericho clubs him to the floor. Back in, Malenko sniffs out an up-and-over but Jericho ducks out of a suplex and hoists Malenko up to the top rope. Jericho goes for a super back suplex but Malenko floats over for the CROSSBODY! 1, 2, 2.9. Malenko goes for a dropkick but Jericho hangs on to the ropes and Malenko wipes out. Jericho goes for the Liontamer. Malenko fights the hold and finally makes the ropes to a pop before Jericho could even lock it in. Jericho gets Malenko up and goes for the top rope rana but Malenko counters to a SUPER GUTBUSTER! 1, 2, 2.9999999! Malenko goes for a leg lariat but Jericho catches him(!). LIONTAMER! Malenko lunges for the ropes but Jericho pulls him back and deep seats it. MALENKO TAPS CLEAN AT 14:45!

• A middling heat in the middle from Jericho lead to a slow build even with the tantrums, but the quick and slick counters lead to a great finishing stretch with a clean finish. ***1/2

• Post-match, Gene bypasses the champ and clean winner Jericho to instead get an interview with Machino. What a dick Scheme Gene is. Dean is beside himself with anger which is unusual for the Ice Man and Gene rubs salt in the wound by recounting the heavy odds that had Malenko as a favorite. Gene: “Dean Malenko, I’ve known you since you were a young man. I knew your great father who preceded you in this tremendous sport. DEAN MALENKO THIS IS A MATCH YOU SHOULD HAVE WON, TONIGHT AND YOU DIDN’T! DEAN MALENKO YOU ARE O-FOR-4 IN WCW MEGA EVENTS! I’M GOING TO GO BACK TO STARRCADE, I’M GOING TO CALL YOU OUT! YOU DIDN’T WIN AT STARRCADE, YOU DIDN’T WIN AT SOULED OUT, YOU DIDN’T WIN AT SUPERBRAWL, AND YOU DIDN’T WIN HERE TONIGHT! NOW, YOU ARE A BONIFIED LOSER! WHERE DOES DEAN MALENKO GO FROM HERE?!” Dean: “Home.”

• And with that, Machino walks out of the ring and into our hearts as the object of derision for weeks from Chris Jericho including running down his father and defacing Malenko in effigy. Tremendous segment even if Mean Gene comes off like a huge asshole.

• Meanwhile, Raven is at the internet position and he’s ranting and raving against DDP and Benoit and says tonight, revenge is a dish he’ll serve cold.

• Scott Steiner vs. Lex Luger. Tony lays out the background here: “Here comes a matchup wringing with emotion: Luger and Scotty Steiner.” There ya go. Amazingly, Tony, in a touch that he normally reserves for Hogan or the n.W.o, talks up Malenko and his unceremonious exit and the storyline. TAKE THAT LUGER!

• Scotty jumps Luger from behind at the bell. Scott sends him into the turnbuckle and Luger is in top selling form already: “ARRRRROOWWWWHWHWHWHW!” And he falls backward to the opposite turnbuckle. Scotty with a few hipchecks and he’s posing already. Scott hits a belly to belly suplex and mouths off to the fans. Scotty locks in the BLATANTCHOKE! Scotty: “SHADDUP!” He poses to boos and then gently shitcans Luger out. Luger gets thrown into the guardrail and the ringstairs. Now, Tenay uses some dramatic license to invent a backstory by saying that Luger took it personally when Scotty joined the n.W.o. Luger blocks a suplex and then drops Scotty on a floor with a counter and then hits the GUARANTEED CONTRACT HAMMER off the apron. Luger then sends him into the guardrail and Scotty sells it into the front row. Back in, Luger with an atomic drop and a few clotheslines. Luger hits the powerslam and calls for the Rack. He goes to hoist up Scotty but Steiner counters with the low blow and Luger goes down in a heap. Steiner Recliner but Luger is totally under the ropes but Evil Nick Patrick doesn’t notice. Luger won’t give up so Scotty bails out: “GETTOUTTAMYWAY!” He gets a chair. BUT WAIT! RICK STEINER HAS COME OUT! Scotty slides back in the ring and backs up right into a Bionic, International Object Forearm from Luger. LOOK OUT! SCOTT NORTON! He tackles Rick from behind. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Luger covers for 1, 2, 3 to win it at 3:54. Total, throwaway Nitro match complete with the idiotic run-in distraction pinfall. *

• Post-match, Scotty no sells the pinfall and waffles Luger from behind and the ref. Rick, never one to be upstaged, no sells the Flash Norton beatdown and slides in to go face-to-face with Scotty. Scotty runs at him with the chair but gets backdropped to the floor. PLAY LUGER’S MUSIC!

• Triple Jeopardy Match for the WCW United States Championship: Raven vs. Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page (c). No countouts, no DQ, etc. Pinfalls count anywhere. At this point DDP is in full on BANG! Mode. He also has the blue DiamondCutter shirt that probably was one of the most popular WCW shirts outside of n.W.o shirts. DDP has taped up ribs that only yoga could cure decades later. Tenay, ever the strategist, points out how Raven has the advantage in this stipulation because of his experience with Raven’s Rules matches. Crowd with a RAUCOUS DDP DDP DDP chant at the bell. TRIPLE LOCKUP! TRIPLE STALEMATE! *****! Sorry, knee-jerk. They tie up again and this time all tumble to the floor in a DDP staple. Raven and Benoit team up to send DDP into the stairs and then slide back in. Benoit with a short clothesline for a quick 2 count. Benoit with an elbow and then stomps a mudhole in the corner. DDP slides in to blast Benoit from behind and he dumps out Raven. DDP hangs Benoit out to drive on the ropes. Benoit sends off DDP but Raven trips him up. Benoit with a baseball slide that takes out Raven. DDP follows up on both with a plancha to the floor. Back in, DDP with a quick Russian legsweep but Benoit breaks up the cover. Benoit snap suplexes Raven but DDP ain’t having that cover though Raven continues to be the whipping boy.

• DDP neutralizes Raven but still no cover because of Benoit. Benoit heads up top to hit a hybrid diving headbutt splash RIGHT on Raven. Benoit and DDP slug it out and brawl to the floor but Raven can’t leave well enough alone and dives over the top rope on both. Raven covers both on the floor but both for 2 counts. Benoit gathers up DDP and throws him into the guardrail for 2. DDP does the same to Benoit and takes him TO THE STEEL! Now, they’re all trying pinfalls in the aisleway and getting nowhere. Benoit and DDP try slugging it out but Raven breaks that up and then disappears to bring over the trash can. Benoit cuts him off and then DDP dumps the garbage can on Raven. They steal an old ECW spot and get some crutches from the crowd and waffle down Raven from both sides. They trade covers before Benoit gets the advantage by waffling DDP with the crutches TO THE RIBS, TONY!

• Benoit sends him into the guardrail and then blasts him with the trashcan also right to the lower back. Snap suplex on the ramp. Raven has an idea and he co-opts Benoit for Operation Send DDP into the Uncensored Sign. Raven: “ANOTHER ONE!” So they roust DDP into another block of sheet metal from the set. Tony: “ONLY AT UNCENSORED!” Benoit pulls out a literal kitchen sink and waffles Raven. Raven musters enough strength to flip a table back over on Benoit as DDP has disappeared under the set rubble. Raven sets up a table only to get Irish whipped into it by Benoit. Raven and Benoit take turns choking each other with a 1930s movie theater velvet rope. Benoit drags Raven back to the ring only to get BLATANTLYLOWBLOWED! Raven brings in a chair as the crowd chants for DDP though he’s nowhere in sight. Raven sets up the chair but Benoit takes over stealing Raven’s spot of a drop toe hold into a chair. Nice. Tenay: “DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE IS CRAWLING BACK TO THE RING!” Tony: “WE HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS!” Benoit now sets the chair up in the corner and whips Raven into it. Meanwhile, DDP is still crawling. Brain: “At least he’s making good time.”

• Benoit applies the Sleeper but DDP finally makes it to the ring for the DOUBLE SLEEPER! Raven drops down for the DOUBLE JAWBREAKER! Innovative spot at the time. The sleeper-to-jawbreaker counter sequence would get so beaten down into the ground over the next few years that it just disappeared. ANYWAY, Triple KO spot. Benoit up first to break the count and he goes for the Rolling Germans. BUT WAIT! DDP IS BEHIND HIM! DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX! Crowd blows up for that. DDPDDPDDP! Benoit and Raven team up again to take out that nuisance DDP. Raven gets Lodi’s sign and it’s the debut of the Stop Sign Waffle that would become a Horace H-Bomb Hogan trademark and Raven would use on DDP on MTV. DDP is OUT after that one. Raven sets up a table as Benoit just hangs out. Well so much for that as Benoit turns on Raven and waffles him down. Benoit puts DDP on the table and then gets Raven up to the top rope. DDP recovers to dump out Benoit. SUPER DIAMONDCUTTER THROUGH THE TABLE! 1, 2, 3 TO RETAIN AT 17:16!

• A tremendously fun brawl with some innovative stuff especially for 1998. There were definitely earlier triple threats including the Sandman-Funk-Sabu ECW three way dance from 94. But the triple threat didn’t really come into fashion in the big leagues until after this match and a few WWF variations the same year. Raven mostly got his ass beat through the first half alternating taking heat from both Benoit and DDP. Benoit rolled in with some shots to DDP’s ribs and then Benoit and Raven teamed up on DDP and it was back to one-on-one-on-one for the final bit. In many ways, the match is underwhelming for individuals parts – it’s not a great hardcore match, it’s not a great triple threat, it’s certainly no gem of psychology or a spotfest, but it’s a cool 3-way brawl with some effective storytelling and a hot finish. ****

• Meanwhile, Tony, Brain, and Tenay lay out the rest of the card including the next matchup, Giant vs. Kevin Nash. Tony is excited because for tonight, ONE TIME ONLY, the powerbomb is allowed. TONIGHT ONLY!

• Kevin Nash vs. Giant. This is the blowoff to Nash “breaking” Giant’s neck back at Souled Out with a botched jackknife. Brain brings up how a couple of weeks ago that Giant powerbombed Nash and inflicted Nash with a back injury. Giant, unlike after getting thrown off the Cobo Hall back at 95 Havoc, IS wearing a neck brace here. Tenay: “One more factor, Tony. Tonight, Giant is going into this match AGAINST DOCTOR’S ORDERS!” Tony dodges continuity to instead talk more about Hogan… err… I mean DEAN MALENKO!

• They have the battle of the hand signals at the bell and Giant wins with the ChokeSlam pantomime. They lock up and Tony says it’s way up there “in the lights.” Because they’re tall, you see. ANYWAY, Nash avoids a slow CLUBBINGBLOW and then mocks someone or something (himself? Giant? Glacier? Mortis? The Cat? Sonny Onoo? Eric Bischoff? The entire wrestling business?) by attempting some poor taekwondo theatrics with a high kick. Nash grabs a headlock and slides behind for a hammerlock before Giant lays him out with a haymaker and an elbow drop. Giant goes for another but comes up dry. He no sells the impact and clotheslines Nash out to the floor. After putting over how the ChokeSlam and the Jackknife are both legal in this match and we’re finally going to get a clean winner, Tony also mentions that the over-the-top rope DQ is now defunct as well, especially tonight here at UNCENSORED! THE PPV WITH NO RULES! NO RETREAT! NO SURRENDER! Keep that in mind. Giant goes for Snake Eyes but Nash slides behind and shoves him into the ringpost. Brain smartly points out that Nash should work the neck since he’s, ya know, WEARING A CAST! Nash tries a few forearms to the back and mocks Giant as Tony by 1998 is showing signs of the caricature he would become that we all know and love (to hate) and in keeping with that, he describes Nash like he’s fuckin’ Dory Funk Jr.: “Kevin Nash, one of the most talented athletes in the history of our sport, known to be able to systematically take opponents apart…”

• Meanwhile, Nash does the foot to the face choke in the corner. Giant politely allows Nash room to answer the age-old question of ass or crotch and it’s crotch as Nash slides around Giant for the Sleeper. This sucks. Giant elbows his way free but Nash gives him a lazy forearm to the back and Giant goes down in a heap. Nash follows with a Bossman attack and poses to a mixed reaction. Nash tears off the neck brace and Tony wants the match stopped under the punishment of Nash’s dizzying array of chokes with the hands, chokes with the feet to a downed opponent, and chokes with the feet to an opponent in the corner. Nash with sloth-like quickness goes for another Bossman attack but propels himself into a boot from Giant to the stones. Nash no sells the low blow to go for a headbutt but Nash sells that as self-inflicted and Giant fires up for some clotheslines. Since when is Giant Samoan? That’s especially ridiculous considering he’s supposed to be nursing a BROKEN NECK and just no sold a shot to the top of his head even though seconds earlier he was selling forearms to the upper back and head as crippling. Giant calls for the ChokeSlam but then sets up a Jackknife quizzically. BUT WAIT! THAT’S BRYAN ADAMS! HE’S GOT A BASEBALL BAT! He waffles Giant from behind for the DQ at Uncensored, the no rules PPV, at 6:34. So much for that blowoff. Another awful finish from the n.W.o headliners. This could have been worse but felt like it was moving at half-speed and needed more commitment to the storyline and psychology and less Nash being Nash and Bryan Adams’ run-ins. ½*

• Post-match, Vincent and Konnan are out as well. Flash Norton is never one to turn down a B-Team appearance. Giant no sells some bat shots, does a Bo Jackson with the bat, and then ChokeSlams everyone in sight EXCEPT NASH! Nash bails out to avoid taking heat so Giant chases them all to the back.

• Meanwhile, Scheme Gene Mean wants to dish gossip on the WCW Hotline.

• Curt Hennig vs. Bret Hart. Yes, that’s right. After waiting out Bret’s no compete clause to hold the definitive Sting-Hogan blowoff so Bret could be special referee at Starrcade, WCW follows up that barnburner and having one of the hottest free agents in wrestling with a tremendously compelling personal story by pairing him first with Flair and now with Curt Hennig in a nothing midcard feud. Look, I love Mr. Perfect as a performer and these two together have had some classics, but Bret could have easily been put into a rehashing of a “Real World’s Champ” feud with either Sting or Hogan.

• Curt ducks out for a breather and talks over some strategy with Rude. Bret stupidly turns his back and Perfect slides in to let him know he was THIS close to a waffle. They lockup but that goes nowhere as Brain recounts a story about how Larry Hennig beat Stu Hart so much that, according to Curt, if Larry won one more time, he got to keep Stu. Tony immediately shifts to putting over Bret’s claim to wanting a piece of the world champion: “Bret Hart has made no bones about it, he wants a shot at becoming heavyweight champion of the world. And he certainly has all the credentials, all the abilities to have that title shot, but what he has to do… in the interim, while he tries to get his title shot, he has to fend off members of the n.W.o at the behest of Hollywood Hogan.” See, now that is classic WCW storytelling. Bret has to run through the n.W.o to get a shot at Hogan’s world title. Makes sense, except, ya know, STING IS THE CHAMP! Hogan’s busy parlaying with Macho over control of the n.W.o at the moment. Why can’t Kevin Sullivan petition the executive committee to also have Bret have to go through the Dungeon of Doom as well?

• Bret grabs Perfect for the Dickensian headlock. It’s short-lived and more of an imitation as Curt sends him off and Bret shoulderblocks him down. BACK TO THE DICKENSIAN HEADLOCK! Perfect goes to the hair and drives Bret into the corner for a break. Bret shoves him back into the corner and then reapplies the headlock for the takeover. Perfect finally gets back to his feet to send Bret off for the blocked hiptoss to hiptoss spot and Perfect is reeling and spinning all the way to the floor. Tenay brings up Bret winning the IC title back at WWF Summerslam 91 from Perfect and mentions how much that eats up Perfect inside knowing he was the launching pad for Bret’s singles career. Good stuff. Bret goes for a suplex back in but Curt blocks and slides behind but Bret blocks that as the crowd is out cold, just dead as a doornail. Bret applies the Sharpshooter IMMEDIATELY as the crowd perks up but Rude steps in and waffles Bret behind the ref’s back. Now, we go to school, PERFECT STYLE! He drives down on the leg a few times. Bret hobbles into the corner for more damage from Perfect. Curt distracts the ref long enough for Rude to add in some BLATANTCHOKERY.

• Perfect drops to the floor and wraps the knee around the ringpost and the crowd is busy being airlifted back to the nearest medical center. The ref calls off Perfect and that allows Rude to again get in a cheap shot behind the ref’s back. Spot-on storytelling so far but they are getting nothing. Back in, Perfect runs his fingers through Bret’s hair and then hairtosses him across the ring. Perfect smacks around Bret as he and Rude laugh it up over the good ol’ days back in Minnesota eating pieces of shit like Bret for breakfast. Perfect pulls him to the middle for the FIGURE FOUR! WOOOOOO! Perfectly, Hennig slides over near the ropes near Rude for some cheating. Perfect: “GIVE IT UP, HART!” Finally, the ref catches the cheating as Tenay changes the backstory from earlier and says this is personal for Bret because he and Flair are buddies and he wants to get revenge for Flair on Perfect for turning on the Horsemen. Bret limps into the corner and tries to fire up as the EMTs try to revive the crowd but Perfect goes low with the punt to the stones awesomely. Brain: “IT’S UNCENSORED!” Bret partially no sells to fight back and Curt knows Bret’s weakness is psychology so he clips the knee and Bret goes down in a heap. Perfect applies the step-over toe hold and talks trash. This is pretty awesome even if the crowd has flatlined and been read their last rites.

• Perfect releases for the low blow legdrop. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Perfect heads up top but Bret recovers to crotch him and now he’s hairtossing Curt across the leg for the ringpost crotch. Atomic drop and Bret goes to the small package for 1, 2, only 2. Russian legsweep gets another 2 count. Bulldog for 1, 2, Curt gets the foot on the ropes. Black Hart Backbreaker and the second rope elbow for 1, 2, 2 ½. Curt counters a whip and Bret runs into the turnbuckle chest first but the crowd’s immediate family is holding a wake and final viewing to honor their enduring legacy of bathroom breaks and YOU SOLD OUT chants to their heroes. Perfect goes for the PerfectPlex and hits it! 1, 2, 2.999999! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! RUDE AND PERFECT ARE STUNNED! Bret shoves Perfect into Rude on the apron for the O’Connor Roll. But Perfect rolls back on top with a handful of tights(!). ONE, TWO, THREEOHNOHEALMOSTGOT’IM! Perfect goes for a sunset flip but Bret rolls through for the SHARPSHOOTER! RUDE IS IN BUT HE’S TOO LATE! PERFECT GIVES UP AT 13:55!

• A worthy chapter in the classics between these two, but like most Sting-Flair matches as well, it’s hard to live up to the first. They are coasting and riffing a bit on tried territory and Perfect’s much more broken down at this stage of their careers, but these two have impeccable chemistry and could have a *** match together while blindfolded with one arm behind their backs while beating the Prime Time Players. The crowd is another story altogether and a bit of a mystery to me. They just were not into anything happening in the match from the bell and never got into it at all. ***1/2

• Post-match, Rude lays out Bret with the Rude Awakening and Perfect botches a bit of a chairshot but he’s the man so who cares. To review, that’s 3 losses for the n.W.o tonight (Steiner, Nash, and Perfect) and 3 post-match beatdowns and attacks to make sure they get their heat back instantly.

• WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Scott Hall vs. Sting (c). It amazes how just how little this match means even on this show much less within the overall hierarchy of WCW and storylines. Hall won WW3 back in NOVEMBER OF 1997. That easily could have been the springboard into a Batista-Triple H type storyline for Hall, but obviously they were in the middle of an epic Sting-Hogan showdown that December. In the meantime over the next THREE MONTHS while Sting and Hogan played a game of Risk over the world and the world belt, Hall would have a feud with Larry Z that never really had a blowoff and win the tag belts with Nash. All of that is one thing, but even on this show, the announcers have talked more about Dean Malenko’s loss, Kevin Nash-Giant, and of course Hogan vs. Macho in the cage. Hell, even Bret got a few sentences from Tony over how he wants the world championship but Hall gets bupkis. Just listen at the commentary exchange to open this match.

Tenay: “This is the big one in terms of WCW vs. n.W.o.”
Brain: “This is going to be very important to the cage match. If Scott Hall goes back in that dressing room with the world championship belt around his waist, what’s going to go through Hogan’s mind and Savage’s mind?”

• You see, every storyline must be viewed through the prism of Hollywood Hogan and the n.W.o, whether it’s Bret Hart coming into WCW, Curt Hennig turning on the Horsemen, or Scott Hall potentially winning the world championship. ANYWAY, Hall has Dusty Rhodes with him tonight. Obviously, this is not the main event.

• Hall steals the belt to pose with it and Sting gets in his face and pounds him down to get us started. Hall is in full punchdrunk mode early as he bails out and Dusty complains about the closed fists. Back in, Hall with a few shoulder surges but Sting no sells and clubs him back into the corner. Hall teases a test of strength but instead gives Sting a thumb to the eye. They both block hiptosses before Hall takes over with a CHOKESLAM! STING GOES DOWN! Hall awesomely mocks Giant which is funny but completely ridiculous in that moment of kayfabe reality. Brain: “GO FOR THE COVER! GO FOR THE COVER!” Tenay: “Too busy mocking the Giant.” Brain: “FORGET THAT SCOTT, C’MON! I mean, not that I’m cheering for him, but if you want to win, that’s what you’ve gotta do.” Tony: “NO!, THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE DOING! YOU’RE CHEERING FOR SCOTT HALL!” Meanwhile, Sting no sells the ChokeSlam and facebusts Razor into the mat. Sting with a haymaker and a Mongolian chop and a Bluechipper dropkick. Hall flails around and bumps out of the ring. Hall has a meeting of the minds with Dusty before stepping back in. Hall sends Sting off but Dusty trips him up and THAT FIRES UP THE STINGER!

• Sting gets to the apron and Hall of course LARIATOS him down. Cover gets 1, 2, only 2. Hall with the discus punch and a running clothesline in the corner. Hall follows up with the Snap Ab Suplex for 1, 2, 2 ½ as Brain and Tony argue over who gets to boss Hogan around if Hall wins. Hall paintbrushes Sting and goes back to the eyes before they collide on a coconut and Sting faceplants into Hall’s nether regions. That draws an audible groan from the crowd. Double KO spot. BUT WAIT! LOOK AT DUSTY RHODES! Dusty tip toes in to deliver a patented bionic, flip, flop, and fly elbow on Sting. Hall drapes the arm for 1, 2, 2.99. Hall goes back to the patented right hands but Sting Stings up for the atomic drop and Stinger Splash. Sting rolls him over for the Deathlock. BUT DUSTY’S UP AGAIN! Sting lays him out but Hall waffles him from behind. Sting sends Hall into the ref for the bump. Dusty tosses Hall some loaded knucks for the LOADED HAYMAKER! 1, 2, 2.99999! Hall calls for the Edge but Sting slides behind for the Scorpion Deathdrop to a HUGE POP! Sting covers for 1, 2, 3 to retain at 8:31.

• If the earlier Luger-Steiner match was Nitro worthy, this is a glorified Nitro main event. Entertaining but thin enough where the screwjob and n.W.o finish teases are too transparent to be taken seriously in a PPV title match that doesn’t involve the main event, Hogan, or a cattle prod. ***

• Post-match, Sting tells Dusty to suck it because even the WCW world champ was tuning in to RAW on a regular basis at this point.

• Steel Cage Match: Hollywood Hogan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage. Basically, this is for control of the n.W.o. After weeks of friction between The Madness and Hogan, including the n.W.o costing Macho his match against Luger last month at Superbrawl VIII, Macho was primed for a face turn and arguably the most over guy in the company (Sting had cooled considerably since Starrcade though he was sort of hanging around and teaming up with Macho at the time). Sensing a potential challenge to his spot, Hogan convinced the Machster to do business. Hogan: “I’M THE MAN! I’M THE MACHO… THE REAL MACHO MAN!” Hogan comes out cocky and tearing up the cage shaking it all around. At least Macho gets to come out last. Macho has Liz with him and I’m hoping she doesn’t turn on him again to side with Hogan.

• We have some technical difficulties with the lights as the bell rings and Hogan works over Mach with knees in the corner. Hogan: “WHO’S THE MAN, MACHO?! WHO’S THE MAN?!” Hogan goes to the BLATANTCHOKE and some closed fists to a downed Macho. Hogan shows off his repertoire with more choking and back rakes. Hogan follows up with the FOOT TO THE FACE. He covers for a 2 count. Some fan yells to Hogan that he sucks and Hogan follows up with the pithy, “SO DOES YOUR MOTHER!” Macho blocks a cage shot but Hogan stays on the offense with a right hand and a slam. Hogan does his go-to miss the elbow drop spot as Macho comes back with rights and a back elbow. Macho now chokes Hogan with the doo rag and plugs Hogan’s nose for some advanced interrogation techniques. Hogan cuts him off with a few weightbelt shots and MOARCHOKING! Hogan with a scoop slam and says it’s over. He goes for the guillotine, French Revolution, Bastille leg drop but comes up dry and drops the belt right into the waiting hands of Macho Man. Savage lays into Hogan with the leather as the crowd comes to life for a bit. Hogan blocks a cage shot but the sheer exertion of working is too much for the big man and he’s down for the count as Tony puts over Hogan’s long, storied career of success in cage matches. Mach LASHES Hogan and covers for 1, 2, 2 ½. Mach sends him into the cage and Hogan blades. Macho covers for 1, 2, 2.7. Macho follows up with a few SLIM JIM HAMMERS. Hogan staggers to his feet and Mach flies in but then flies out as he gets backdropped INTO THE CAGE! Hogan gets the belt back and it’s RECEIPT TIME as Hogan wails him a few time.

• Back suplex gets 1, 2, 2 ½. Hogan gathers him Macho and drives him into the cage in a battering ram and Savage blades. Savage fumbles backwards and collapses into the ropes and hits the mat in an awesome commitment to selling. Hogan covers for another nearfall. Hogan works the cut and Macho is TOAST. Savage is an artist at the deliriously, over the top, melodramatic incapacitation selling, second only perhaps to HBK or Morton. ANYWAY, Hogan chokes Macho on his way over to the door. Mickey Jay opens the door as I try to recall whether it was escape rules. Hogan tosses Macho out to the floor for the patented brawling outside in a cage match masterminded by Piper and Hogan at the crime against humanity back at Havoc 97. Tony: “THERE IS NO CAGE BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD THESE TWO MEN AND THEY ARE PROVING IT RIGHT NOW!” Brain: “THERE’S NO RING, NO ORGANIZATION BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD THESE MEN!” Hogan sends Mach into the cage and then slides back in the ring. What the hell was the point of that? Back in, Macho blocks a cage shot and sends Hogan in. Double KO spot but Macho Bonesaws up and gets to his feet. He heads ALL THE WAY UP! SUPER DOUBLE AX HANDLE FROM THE HEAVENS! 1, 2, 2.999999! Hogan gets tossed into the cage again as Macho calls for the big elbow. BUT WAIT! THE DISCIPLE BARBER BOOTY MAN HAS COME OUT! He waffles Mickey Jay and steals the keys. He opens up the door and sneaks in as Macho climbs up the cage. Disciple lays out Charles Robinson and revives Hogan. Rather than dive off, Macho climbs back down and it’s 2-on-1. BUT WAIT! THE WORLD CHAMPION STING ARRIVES FROM THE RAFTERS! Hogan and Disciple beg off as it’s a bit of an awkward standoff because why wouldn’t they just ATTACK?! BUT WAIT! SAVAGE DECKS STING! Savage piledrives Sting but Hogan stays at bay unsure of what to make of it. Savage tells Hogan it’s 4 life but then spits on Hogan before diving out to the floor. Macho: “I DON’T LIKE YOU! I NEVER WILL!” Hogan: “YOU’RE PART OF THE N.W.O! YOU WORK FOR ME!” WHAT’S GOING ON!? WE’RE OUTTA TIME, TUNE IN TO NITRO! No contest at 16:28.

• That ending lands with a massive thud as it satisfies no one and settles nothing like most n.W.o matches and Hogan main events. Of course, this would end the teased Macho face turn and number 1 guy spot and send him crashing back to being Hogan’s second fiddle pretty much hand delivering the belt only a month later. The match wasn’t actively bad, just massively boring other than Macho’s selling, but that homage to Piper and Hogan at Havoc 97 was just the beginning of a finishing stretch that was a travesty, especially on a PPV, a no rules PPV no less, IN A CAGE MATCH! For those of you scoring at home, Hogan would end up main eventing every Uncensored ever and win almost every one of his gimmick match main events though each would end in a Dusty-esque schmozz – in 95, he won a strap match against Vader by dragging Flair to all four corners; in 96, Hogan and Macho would beat practically every heel on the roster by walking out of the cage before Macho remembered to pin one of them; in 97, Hogan would lead Team n.W.o to a victory for all the marbles with Rodman, Macho, and a can of spray paint’s help; in 99, Hogan would lose to Flair in a first blood, cage match by pinfall via fast count from a dirty ref when both were covered in blood; and finally in 2000, Hogan would beat Flair in a Apple Pie strap match by pinfall after touching only 3 of 4 corners. ¼*

The 411: Lots of highs and lows here. Heel Eddie and the ascendence of DDP as arguably number 2 face in the company behind Sting are always worth checking out. The beginning of the Dean Malenko teased retirement angle is perfect and Bret-Perfect is a very solid match. But the nWo stinks as usual and even the storylines were weak this time around with Nash-Giant having no blowoff and Scotty-Rick going nowhere and Macho re-turning heel to stay 4 life are unsatisfying messes.Still, six matches ***+ is worth sitting through the prima donna crap.

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]