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Ring Crew Reviews: WCW World War III 1995

August 31, 2011 | Posted by Jack Bramma
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Ring Crew Reviews: WCW World War III 1995  

Relevant Storylines: DDP values the TV belt over his wife. Big Bossman raids Wallstreet’s wardrobe. Macho Man has a torn bicep but he’s PERFECTLY FINE! Sting and Flair go at it for the last time ever.

Scheduled Card:
1. WCW World Television Championship: DDP vs. Johnny B. Badd (c).
2. Taped Fist Match: Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
3. Japan Women’s Tag Team Match: Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto.
4. WCW United States Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Kensuki Sasaki (c).
5. Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger.
6. Sting vs. Ric Flair.
7. World War III.

• We open with one of my favorite random packages ever: it’s spliced together interviews from everyone talking about their strategy to win WW3 including Mero, Luger, Sting, Eddie, Duggan, Buff Bagwell and includes an all-timer from Show: “I’M GONNA BE SWIMMIN’ AND HUNTIN’ AND THEN IT’S BYE BYE BIRDIE!” We also get clips of everyone saying who they’ll toss out first and everyone other than Sting (who says Ric Flair) says they want to toss Disco Inferno out at the beginning. Most say they want to dump Hogan last. This of course is different than other years because the belt is on the line in this WW3 after Giant was stripped due to winning it by DQ at Havoc from Hogan.

• We start with Brain and Tony. Tony picks Hogan to win and Brain picks Macho and Giant and then says he’ll save his real pick for later.

• First up is a Mean Gene interview with Dark Side Hogan, not to be confused with Hollywood Hogan. This is when Hogan had abandoned the red and yellow to wear all black but was still face. He’s with Macho and Sting. Well Hogan says the Dark Side is over and he rips off the black to reveal the red and yellow underneath. They put it in a trash bin and a spontaneous flash fire starts. Hogan says he’s back on the side of truth and justice and his trip to the Dark Side was all a ruse to fool Kevin Sullivan, including Macho Man’s fake arm injury. Say what? See that bit about Macho was in reaction to some insider scoop stuff from the WON. More on that in a second. Macho says Hogan is the coolest dude ever. Mean Gene is a bit nervous about the growing size of the barrel fire in front of him and dispatches Sting to put it out.

• This is also the infamous interview where Hogan on camera talks about the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and says that in the dirtsheet they said Giant was winning the belt because Macho was injured. He says Macho’s good to go and that it was all fake and then they burn the WON because Hogan says it’s got nothing on the internet because it has the scoops. That’s just bizarre because you have to believe that more people knew about the WON AFTER Hogan’s interview than before and this segment probably increased the smark crowd rather than discouraged them.

• We get clips of pre-Nitro Girl Kimberly Page pissed at DDP for ranting about the TV title and not caring about her, so she’s putting herself on the line in this match.

WCW World Television Championship: DDP vs. Johnny B. Badd (c). DDP has Chyna’s fireworks cannon. DDP talks smack to start and jams his finger at Mero so Mero takes offense and they come to blows. Ref wants a clean break and DDP’s all, “Hey! It’s OK! I’m right here,” and then smacks Mero. They brawl to the floor and the crowd is really behind Mero. DDP tries a bulldog but gets sent into the ringspot. Back in, DDP cuts him off with a double ax handle but Mero gets a crossbody so DDP floats over for 2. Mero with a Samaon drop for 2. Mero gets the headlock TO as Brain asks Schiavone if he would fight for his woman this hard. Schiavone: “I think so.” Brain: “You’re a fool” Schiavone: “That’s your opinion.” Brain: “That’s what she told me.” Schiavone: “[Awkward laugh] Let’s not start THAT already.” DDP rolls him up for 2 a couple of times as Mero stays on the headlock. DDP gets out and they try for a top wristlock as DDP gets it by grabbing the hair. Mero switches to an arm wringer and DDP again takes him down by the hair. DDP: “SHUT UP, YOU PINBALL!” Mero tries rolling through but DDP keeps taking him down by the hair. Mero finally kips up and pulls him down by the hair to retaliate. Nice. DDP goes for a clothesline but Mero ducks and DDP shitcans himself. Mero does the 619 tease and then follows with a plancha over the top to a HUGE pop. DDP hides behind Kimberly to MASSIVE heel heat. What a magnificent bastard. DDP then shoves her into Mero and then waffles him with a right. Great stuff. DDP sends him into the guardrail. Kimberly is of course not pleased by any of this. DDP sends him into the turnbuckle for the Bret Hart bump and then hits a back suplex. DDP tiltawhirls him into the Tombstone and then calls for the numbers but Kimberly won’t comply. Brain says she’s a distraction and for perhaps the only time in his career Tony gets one over on the Brain. Tony: “That’s his fault. If she’s a distraction, don’t bring her out to ringside.” Mero catches a boot and spins DDP around but he comes back with a clothesline for 2. DDP: “SHUT UP, YOU BIMBO!” DDP hits a Spear into the corner and tries another but Mero moves and DDP eats ringpost. DDP goes for a boot but Mero moves. DDP hits a right and tells Nick Patrick he’s a “zero.” Mero comes back with a couple of boots and a right and an inverted atomic drop. Mero works the jabs and catches the boot and spins DDP around and this time ducks the clothesline and gives his own. Mero wants the numbers and Kimberly gives HIM a 10+. Crowd is eating all of this up. Mero hits the DemonBomb. Cover for 1, 2—only 2. DDP gets the boot up in the corner and covers with the feet on the ropes for only 2. DDP with a tiltawhirl into a side slam. Cover gets 2 and Mero crucifixes him for 1, 2—kick out at 2. DDP tries another tiltawhirl but Mero counters to a headscissors. Nice. Mero tries the slingshot splash (Badd Mood) but DDP gets the knees up. DDP taunts to HUGE boos. DDP with a gutwrench gutbuster for 2. DDP tries another but Mero slides behind so DDP elbows him down. DDP tries a Tombstone but Mero boots out and counters to his his own TOMBSTONE! Cover for 1, 2,–still only 2. Mero dumps DDP with a right and Mero follows out with a slingshot flip senton. Back in, Mero with the springboard guillotine legdrop. Cover get 1, 2, and 3 to win it and Kimberly at 12:33. Holy shit. Where did this come from? This is FANTASTIC. This clicked in every way they could have possibly hoped for and the crowd popped for everything. DDP’s cheating and hiding behind Kimberly had the crowd up in arms. I loved the callbacks with the Tombstone, the ducked lariat and the headscissors. ALL OF IT! ****

• Post-match, Geno gets an interview with the new champ and his new woman. Interestingly, this would be the almost same exact feud Mero would later do with his own wife, Sable, except he was the heel like DDP. They say nothing of note before Mero says he’s prepared for WW3.

Taped Fist Match: Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Bubba is Big Bossman but is dressed like an unemployeed Irwin R. Schyster. Well, this should suck. Duggan runs up from behind Bossman during his entrance and waffles him. He has the 2×4 tied around his neck. He tosses Bossman around ringside as Brain says his grandmother was a taped fist champion and had 3 less teeth than Duggan. USA! USA! Duggan in with more rights and threatens to blast Bossman with the 2×4. The ref tries to call him off and Bossman begs off as Brain speculates there could be rocks or sand in the tape to make the punches more effective and Tony says he doesn’t see a problem with that strategy shockingly. The ref convinces him to not use the board. Bubba comes back with a shot but eats a few clotheslines from Duggan and eats it to the floor. HOOOOOO! Duggan sends him into the apron and they brawl over to a different ring and the ref follows. Duggan botches sending him into the ring post and then chokes Bossman between the 2 rings. Duggan tries to drop an elbow off the apron but Bossman slowly sidesteps and lets him fall into the guardrail. Bossman gives him an uppercut and does the Snitsky taunt to boos. Bossman with a few more right hands and Duggan rebounds back into the camera and his sweat is all over it. Classy. Bossman chokes with his foot. Bossman takes a lap as they move again to another ring. When you’ve gotta switch rings twice to mask the fact that you’re not doing shit, you know it’s not going well. They slug it out and Bossman comes back with a fuckin’ ENZUIGIRI! Bossman with another right and tells the ref to count him out. Bossman uses this opportunity to get another piece of tape and tapes up his fists even more behind the ref’s back. What the bloody hell is this nonsense? Brain smartly says that instead he’s use the tape to tie him to the ropes or tape his eyes shut. Bossman with more rights that don’t seem to have anymore impact than the less taped ones as Duggan comes back with a clothesline. Brain says that in addition to having a taped fist champion for a mother, his father was an Irish Setter. Duggan with an ugly shoulderblock and Bossman rolls to the floor. Duggan sorta sells the ribs as THEY SWITCH RINGS AGAIN! Bossman must have asked the Wizard for a brain because he tapes Duggan to the ropes in the last ring and looks to have the advantage. Bossman with right hands as the ref meekly tries to pull him away and starts a count. Bossman gets a headstart but runs into a right from Duggan. He tries again as Duggan backdrops him over the top and the crowd is losing their patience. Duggan tears himself free and gives him some right hands. Duggan with a bodyslam and wants the 3 Point Stance. Duggan with the clothesline but here comes Michael Wallstreet. Duggan hits him with the 2×4 for the biggest pop in the match but he managed to slide a chain to Bossman. Bossman wraps it around the fist and lays out Duggan. The ref starts the count and Bossman recovers but Duggan is out at 10:11. Jesus, this was sad. At least, they tried to dress it up with the tape and ring switches but that was lip stick on a pig so to speak. Just dreadful. * mostly for Wallstreet’s 2×4 shot.

• Next up, Geno is with Flair. This is standard Flair but one of my favorites. He hits all the highlights and a few catchphrases and everything’s getting over with the fans like it should. Flair says he’s virtually guaranteed to become new champ again. Flair: “DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND IT? THIS HAS BEEN MY MASTER PLAN! I’VE GOT SAVAGE, HOGAN, STING, LUGER! ALL OF ‘EM IN THE SAME BUILDING UNDER THE SAME ROOF AT THE SAME TIME! AND JUST LIKE DR. J RULED THE SCOPE, THE NATURE BOY WILL RULE WCW ONE MORE TIME! WOOOO!!” Crowd pops huge for that, even if Flair’s master plan hilariously could have been executed on any Nitro when they were all in the same building under the same roof. Just have Flair do this for 15 minutes every hour and never do a Bossman-Duggan match again.

Japan Women’s Tag Team Match: Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto. The truck botches spelling Nagano’s name as “Nagana.” No pop for these intros because the in-house crowd has no idea who they are and neither does the commentary team so they bring in Mike Tenay to profess and educate the masses. Tenay calls this a “huge story in Japan” which I guess is supposed to compensate for the fact that stateside and in Norfolk it’s not that big of a deal. This is basically the smaller women vs the bigger women.

• The heels jump them and take down Mayuma with a double clothesline and a boot. Nakano with a hair toss and another and Mayumi is bumping around like hell and the crowd is Ooing for that. Akira with a hair toss as well and an ax handle. Akira teases allowing the face tag and just generally acts like a bitch. Bull back in and bites her hand. Tenay is on commentary to put over everyone involved and Japanese wrestling. Brain calls him “Ike” and asks about the scandal when Okurland tried to get a tryout at the dojo under a wig and a kimona. Bull continues pulling her around by the hair. Brain guesses she could bench press 500 lbs by looking at her thights. That’s un… well yeah. More double teaming from the heels off the top. Mayumi tries fighting back and Bull no sells and tosses her back down. Bull taunts and Akira chokes her and the crowd boos them pretty loudly. Mayumi comes back with a flying burrito and a DDT and tags in Cutie illegally but no one cares. Cutie with a dropkick for 2 and into a half crab. Bull goes to break it up but Mayumi rolls her into a half crab as well and the crowd pops big for that. Akira gets the ropes as Cutie boots her around. Cutie with an embarassingly soft splash on the leg and gets the half crab again. Bull in and breaks it up this time. Akira over and makes the illegal tag as well. Bull sends Cutie off but gets tied up with Mayumi on the apron. Cutie tries a dropkick but Bull bails and Mayumi eats it. Bull with a powerbomb and goes for a moonsault but Cutie ducks under. Crowd is still with them surprisingly. Mayumi heads up top and hits a double foot stomp. Cutie follows off with one of her own. Mayumi with another and Cutie with another. Cover only gets 2. Yeah, they’re jobbing. Bull blocks a double suplex and hits one of her own. Akira goes for a splash off the top but the faces move and dropkick Bull down. The faces go for a double superplex but Bull breaks it up and Akira hits a crossbody off the top on both. The heels sends them off but the faces counter with huracanranas for 2. The faces then hit clotheslines off the top on both. Mayumi with a half nelson suplex for 2 on Akira. That was BEAST. Akira comes back with the German suplex and drops her on her damn head and folds her up! DAMN! Bull in and takes her down with a clothesline but Cutie breaks up the cover so Bull clubs her down. Bull sends both off but they duck a clothesline so Akira missile dropkicks both down and to the floor. Akira follows with a flip splash off the top to the floor on all of them! Bull gets Mayumi on her shoulders and Akira hits the DOOMSDAY DEVICE and Mayumi takes the bump like a woMAN! Bull covers but Cutie breaks it up. I’ve lost track of who’s legal and tags because they’re not even caring at this point but that’s not really detracting from my enjoyment. Akira bodyslams Mayumi down and Bull hits the guilltoine leg drop off the top and Akira forces Cutie watch her friend get destroyed and pinned for the 3 at 9:15. The crowd was dead as a doornail (even after Flair’s interview) and openly mocking them during their entrance, but all 4 dragged the crowd into caring about a tag match involving people they’ve never heard of and would probably never seen again. That’s an accomplishment in and of itself. That being said, the beginning was kind of bland but picked up with the suplexes and insane bumps down the stretch. Good stuff if you can get over probably not knowing who they are and the flagrant double teaming. ***

• Next up, Mean Gene is with that twerp, Jimmy Hart, and Lex Luger. Luger looks to be reading from a cue card off screen but that could just be me. He says he’s the present and the future of WCW and he’ll end up winning WW3 to become new champ. He also takes some potshots at Macho Man.

WCW United States Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Kensuki Sasaki (c). OOOHHHH YEAH! On paper at least, this should be awesome. Benoit is in the Horsemen and Sasaki beat Sting for the belt in Japan a week prior. Akira from the previous match is Sasaki’s wife. Sasaki is with Sonny Ono. There’s an odd subplot to this whole thing where Bobby Heenan conned Ono into buying parts of WCW from Brain for a lot of money. Essentially, Brain sold Ono the Brooklyn Bridge and Tony is going to be on his case the whole match about it.

• Lock up goes into the corner where Benoit pelts him with chops and snapmares him down. Benoit boots him down and then holds up the 4 fingers. WOO! Sasaki brings him into the corner and chops the hell out of him back. Sasaki snapmares him and boots him. Benoit begs off and SASAKI TAUNTS to mild jeers. Benoit tries a suplex but Sasaki blocks and goes for Benoit’s arm. Benoit drop toe holds to counter and goes to the hammerlock. Benoit flaots into a front facelock and Sasaki suplexes him over. Benoit wants a test of strength and that’s a bad idea with this guy. Sasaki powers him down and Benoit bridges up and takes down Sasaki with the top wristlock. Sasaki gets back to his feet for another test of strength. Benoit gets him into the straitjacket hold. Sasaki elbows out and boots him down. Sasaki with a bodyslam and another. Cover gets 1. Sasaki jumps on the rear chinlock. Benoit gets to his feet and sends Sasaki off who takes down Benoit with a shoulderblock. They do it again and Benoit baseball slides through but Sasaki picks him up and press slams him back down. Sasaki wants a Boston Crab but Benoit legwhips him to the floor and follows out with a dive. Back in, Benoit with a snap suplex for a 1 count. Hmm. Benoit goes to the triangle choke as Ono jumps on commentary to give his take on how much money Brain suckered him out of as we ignore the match. Back to action as Sasaki hits a powerslam for 2. Benoit slides out a suplex and goes to the ROLLING GERMANS to no reaction! Sasaki elbows out of a third and gets a clothesline. Sasaki wants a Tombstone but Benoit counters to his own and spikes him down. Benoit hits the diving headbutt off the top. Delayed cover gets 2. Benoit brings him up top and hits the Frankensteiner for 2. Crowd is just dead for this. Sasaki shrugs off everything, blocks a kick and powerbombs Benoit down with the ONE ARM TORNADO BOMB! Sasaki says that’s it. He goes for the Strangle Hold Z but Benoit quickly gets the ropes. Benoit tries a clothesline and Sasaki no sells and plows over Benoit with a LARIATO. Sasaki ends it with the Northern Lights Bomb to retain at 10:00. That’s probably as close as I’ve ever seen Benoit come to getting squashed but he should be honored considering how much the man Sasaki is. This had the first 5 minutes of a 30 minute match even with one counts and such and then transitioned into sort of an American style finish. The match didn’t quite come together like they wanted I’m sure and is disappointing. **1/4

• Meanwhile, Geno is up next with Giant and Taskmaster, Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan says Giant might as well be champ but the crowd starts chanting for Hogan. Jimmy Hart gets back on the stick and says that Sullivan is the only one that wears Red and Yellow around here, not Hogan. A feud over colors? Giant quotes a poem and Sullivan steals Hogan’s ear cup. This sucked.

• Next up, we get a video package of the Macho/Luger feud. This boils down to Macho not trusting Luger and suspecting he’s a member of the Dungeon of Doom and turned out Macho was right.

• Now, Mean Gene is with Macho Man. Macho: “I’ve said it all along! WHAT IT IS IS WHAT IT IS!” Gene wonders if he’s alright after Macho seems to forget where he was going with that thread. Macho: “I’M ALWAYS JITTERY! IT’S MY PERSONALITY TO BE JITTERY! IT’S PART OF MY CHARM!” Macho says Luger is going to find out that Macho is the REAL Toal Package. Gene asks him around the man and Macho says he’s a million percent ready to go.

Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger. So after, Hogan burns a WON and says Macho is 100% good to go. Mean Gene, Tony, and Brain all openly doubt that and talk about the damage done to his arm. Brain calls it a “cover up” and jokes he’ll lose his voice before Nitro tomorrow. Tony says he can be replaced and Brain says he’ll get better, after all he needs this job to support his orphanage in Guatemala.

• Macho has a heavily taped arm and only Brain seems to think it’s strange. Macho beats Luger from pillar to post to start and chokes a whole lot. Macho sends him into the corner and works him over and chokes some more. Macho tries a charge but eats boot. Luger tries the forearm of doom but Macho ducks and clotheslines him down. Macho slingshots him into the rope and goes for a Boston Crab but Luger gets the ropes. Macho sends him to the floor and into the guardrail. Back in, Macho with a slam and wants the Macho Elbow. He hits it and WOW, this is squash city. He covers but Jimmy is on the apron distracting. Macho shitcans Luger again and back into the guardrail. Luger reverses and sends Macho into the apron. Luger breaks the count and hooks in the Torture Rack on the floor. Ref restarts the count and Jimmy Hart tells him to break the count. This is weird. Luger rolls him in and goes to an armbar on the HEAVILY BANDAGED “fine” arm. The ref checks him and Macho’s out at 5:28. Oh, SURE! His arm is GREAT. Bullshit. This was clearly laid out to work around Macho having one arm and Macho had it right all along: what it is is what it is and it is DUD. What the fuck is the point of all this he is/he isn’t hurt with the arm shit and why is WCW trying to swerve a virtually non-existent (at the time) internet crowd and insiders?

• Post-match, Luger won’t release the hold until Sting comes out and calls him off.

• Next up, we get footage of Sting/Flair feud where Sting helped Flair in his feud with Arn/Pillman until Flair turned on him and rejoined the Horsemen for the 5000th time.

Sting vs. Ric Flair. This is IT, the LAST TIME, you will never, ever ever see this match up again so soak it in. They go eye to eye and Flair goes for a shot and Sting blocks and lays him out. Flair powders out and over to the second ring to strut. Brain: “Flair needs room to style and profile.” Flair says BRING IT ON! Sting blocks again and hits another right and a press slam and Flair is done already. He begs off and wants mercy. He pokes Sting in the eye and gives him some gutshots. Flair with the shotgun chops in the corner and Sting goes down to a knee. WOOOO! Flair struts and tells a guy in the front row to suck it, sort of. He sends Sting off who blows through him with a clothesline and mounts for the 10 punches in the corner. Sting hiptosses him across the ring and dropkicks him down. Flair powders down and into another ring again. Sherri and Col. Parker are looking on from the isle. Flair with chops but Sting no sells and the crowd eats it up. Sting clotheslines him over the top and Flair is out of ideas. He says he’s talking a walk but comes back. Test of strength and Flair loses but trips up Sting. Sting keeps kipping up and no selling. Flair with more chops and Sting with another press slam and Flair powders out again. Flair tries to send Sting into the guardrail but Sting blocks. Sting goes for a Stinger Splash on the floor but Flair moves and Sting eats guardrail. Flair gets a chair but Nick Patrick pulls it back. Flair with more shotgun chops and gouges the eye. Back in, Flair tries a chop but Sting goozles him so Flair pulls him close and low blows. Nick Patrick suspects foul play. Flair sends him into the corner and boots him around and drops a knee. Flair struts and holds up the 4 fingers. Flair clips the knee from behind a couple times. Flair struts some more. He asks Nick Patrick how much time until the time limit expires and then shitcans Sting when he turns his back. Awesome. On the floor, Flair tells someone to SHUT UP and hits more chops. Back in, Flair clips the knees one more time. Flair fishhooks him and gives him a back suplex and goes to the Figure Four. Flair punches the leg to torque it but Sting Hulks up and rolls it over to reverse it. Flair tries a hiptoss but Sting counters to a back slide for 2. Flair doesn’t like the count and shoves Nick Patrick. Nick shoves him back and knocks him down to a big pop. Flair sends Sting off and hits a chop and poses but of course Sting Hulks up again and is ready to go. Flair’s oblivious and this is like Flair’s greatest hits. Flair with more chops but of course they do no damage. Flair powders out to another ring but Sting press slams him for the third time and runs over him with clotheslines. Flair comes back with an eye poke and heads up top and MAYBE HE’LL HIT IT?!? Of course, Sting slams him off and Flair begs off. Sting sends him in for the Flair Flip and clotheslines him down on the apron. Sting mounts in the corner but Flair brings him out for the inverted atomic drop and of course Sting no sells and punches him down. Sting hits the top rope superplex to a big pop and rolls him over for the Scorpion Deathlock and Flair gives up at 14:30. This was no better or worse than the other thousand times they wrestled outside of the first Clash match which is the best of the bunch. And this was basically the feud’s greatest hits boiled down to its 15 minute essentials. ***

• Next, Brain and Tony hype the WW3. Brain predicts that no one doing double duty will win and it will have to be a fresh man.

• Then, a video package for WW3 including the Giant/Hogan match where Jimmy Hart turned on Hogan, Giant won the belt and both joined the Dungeon of Doom. Some guy in a suit comes out and mumbles something about power of attorney and strips Giant of the belt and says it’s on the line in WW3. At that point, they are still billing Giant as Andre’s son. The package puts the favorites as Hogan, Giant, and Yeti.

• Geno is with Hogan. Hogan says he wants the belt and that he, Macho, and Sting are putting aside friendship for this match. Hogan says he’s going to prove that Hulkamania is the greatest power in the universe after he gets run over by lawnmowers and stampeded by raging elephants.

World War III: So, in case, you’re new to this. It’s SIXTY GUYS! THREE RINGS! And always a clusterfuck to follow. No staggered entrances like the RR as instead everyone starts in the ring at the same time. The sheer fact that WCW had 60 wrestlers on hand for this including 40-ish jobbers is a sign of how mammoth they were as an organization and also how chaotically disorganized they were. Let’s get to it.

• Brain and Tony on ring 1. Dusty Rhodes and Bischoff on ring 2 and Dusty is wearing the largest red leather coat known to man. Dusty tries to say this match will go down in “infinity” as the greatest PPV of all time but actually says “infinite.” Chris Cruise (who?) and Larry Z are on ring 3. Buffer does his spiel: “60 men. 3 rings. 60 men. Almost a quarter million pounds of humanity.” Terrific.

• We start out wide with one shot and quickly go into a split 3-way and Brain says it’s an Attica prison riot. Flair and Hogan are choking each other and you can imagine who’s getting the worst of that exchange. Brian Pillman works over Macho Man. The Horsemen and Sting brawl to the floor but I can’t tell if anyone was eliminated. The Yeti has already been eliminated but of course you couldn’t see it on the screen. DDP and One Man Gang do nothing. Stevie Ray chokes Orndorff on the apron. Sullivan headbutts Hogan as Flair gets jumped by someone in the corner. Luger was tossed out but got back in without a ref seeing him says Bischoff. Beefcake, or Zodiac at the moment, works over Macho in the corner. Homeless Wallstreet Bossman chokes Hogan. Tony has a damn ulcer going crazy over one of the Nasty Boys almost getting eliminated. Duggan tosses Taskmaster but he lands on the apron. Dave Taylor works a fucking wristlock on Orndroff. The Nasties toss Mark Starr and Orndroff is tossed by Luger and they brawl on the floor. DDP skins the cat a couple of times. Hogan tries to toss Bossman but he hangs on. Meng and Alex Wright can’t get Dave Taylor over the top. Luger is still on the floor but he’s just buying time. Kanyon is dumped out. OMG works over Macho in the corner.

10 minutes in and this aint so good so far. Big Train Bart is tossed out. Arn tries a piledriver on the floor but Luger counters to a backdrop. Eddie Guerrero has a sleeper on Show. Disco and Alex Wright jockey for position in the corner. A bunch of random nobodies were just throw over the top. One of the Nasties, Barios, Harlem Heat, etc. They must have gotten some kind of signal to start clearing dead weight. Sting now goes for the sleeper on Giant. DDP chokes Zodiac. Giant throws down Sting as Hogan gets someone in an Airplane Spin and throws them out but they didn’t look important. Dick Slate is eliminated. Giant slams Dave Taylor down. Luger and Arn are still brawling on the floor. Benoit and Pillman put the boots to DDP. Sting and Flair are also brawling on the floor. Wallstreet is tossed and so is Scott Norton. Hogan knocks Flair back to the floor even though he never got back in. Macho and DDP do nothing of note. DDP throws Macho through the ropes. Macho hasn’t done jack shit except get his ass kicked. Keep that in mind as we go on. Everyone now gets into the middle ring and we’re got 30 to go. OMG chokes Hogan with Sullivan and Beefcake’s help. Giant shoves Jerry Sags. The Horsemen try and toss Sting but no go. OMG gets back in the ring. There’s just so many random nobodies in the ring and so many fuckers getting in and out of the ring through and under the ropes that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to even tell what’s going on. Brain says the pace has “slowed down” which I suppose is one way of putting it. Scott Armstrong is taken out by a stretcher for some reason as Luger sends Macho into the ringpost. Bossman and Duggan are both eliminated. Roar Warrior Hawk tosses Disco Inferno. Eddie Guerrero comes off the top as the Dungeon of Doom turns on itself. Booker T’s had enough and just decides to roll under the bottom rope and eliminate himself.

20 minutes in as Hogan tosses Sullivan to crickets because THERE’S JUST TOO MANY MOTHERFUCKERS TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON. Macho and Luger brawl from ring to ring as Regal is dumped. Eddie Guerrero dropkicks Meng into five other guys as Mero and DDP eliminate each other. At least that has some storyline tie-ins. Benoit is tossed by someone. OMG and Arn almost toss Hogan but of course no go. Giant choke tosses Buff. Giant with a low blow on Macho as Meng is shitcanned. Flair with an inverted atomic drop on Sting and he sells that one at least. Zodiac is backdropped over the top by Hugh Morrus and he’s tossed by Sasaki. Road Warrior Hawk dumps Pillman and Sasaki as Pillman helps him. That’s pretty funny. Hogan then sneaks Hawk and tosses him. Eddie’s on the top again and Sting hits a Stinger Splash on him and Giant as Eddie looks in bad shape. Orndroff is tossed by Hogan. Arn and Flair try eliminating Eddie but he fights back and hits a missile dropkick. Flair hooks in the Figure Four though and Eddie in pain. Sting puts the Deathlock on Arn but Flair breaks it up with chops. Arn hits the spinebuster on Eddie. Flair chops Sting but Hogan pulls him off. Eddie’s tossed out as Sting hits the Splash on Flair and another on Arn. Hogan comes off the top on OMG. Giant with an atomic drop on Sting. Luger winds up on the floor again but through the ropes I guess. Giant ChokeSlams Macho who still hasn’t done anything. Flair goes up top but Arn gets slingshotted back into him by Sting to crotch and dump him to a BIG pop. Hogan clotheslines Arn over too to another pop. Flair is LIVID and makes a scene. Luger and Sting team up to chop down Giant. They try to toss him but Hogan sneaks and dumps all three. Hogan is then pulled UNDER the ropes by Macho as Macho dumps One Man Gang. The ref declares Macho the winner and new champ at 29:41 because he didn’t see Hogan go under the ropes. Hogan is aghast and whines and Brain is RIGHT on top of it. Hogan tries sucking up to the crowd to elect him people’s champ and they boo him and back Macho. Macho wants Hogan congratulations which he refuses. He says he wants to talk turkey after Macho sees the video and he wants HIS shot to get HIS belt back. Fucker.

• I love Macho but you put over a guy with one arm who did nothing the whole match? With a schmooze in a battle royal? After a schmooze the month before? After you’ve been hyping this match as the definitive one match to crown the new champ with no doubt? No wonder this gimmick went over like a lead balloon. This isn’t horrible but it’s just too chaotic with little rhyme or reason to the whole thing other than Horseman/Sting/Luger and Macho/Luger brawling the entire match. Everyone else is just random crap with no storyline tie-ins or anything. *1/2

• Of course, Macho’s reign would be short lived and all about Hogan just like all of his reigns. Just check out the new champ’s first promo where Hogan as a face tries to bury him and gets Macho sneak attacked by Giant BECAUSE of Hogan and then Macho is taken out with a ChokeSlam on the concrete and Hogan chases away the big bad wolf with a chair to remain the white knight.


The 411: Mero/DDP bring the goods but every thing else can be skipped. Even the good stuff of the Japanese women's match and Flair/Sting have much better iterations elsewhere. MAYBE, check out the inaugural WW3 if you want to see how big of a clusterfuck it was.
 
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]  legend

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Jack Bramma
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