Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Night of Champions 2011

• Relevant Storylines: Truth believes Punk is part of a conspiracy to prevent himself from winning matches. Mark Henry rips off Charlie Haas’s submission move name… sort of. John Cena commits grand theft auto, but it’ll probably get downgraded to joyriding. And Kevin Nash returns to settle old scores and start new ones.

• Scheduled Card:
1. WWE Tag Team Championship: Awesome Truth vs. Air Boom (c).
2. WWE Intercontinental Championship: Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes (c).
3. Fatal Four Way for the WWE United States Championship: John Morrison vs. Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler (c).
4. World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton (c).
5. WWE Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly (c).
6. WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (c).
7. No DQ Match: CM Punk vs. Triple H.

• No opening video for the PPV. When’s the last time that happened?

• WWE Tag Team Championship: Awesome Truth vs. Air Boom (c). Miz says something about “fat muffintops” for Buffalo. I love evil Truth that wants to talk smack to everyone with doggerel but I preferred his entrance when he had no music. Kofi and Miz to start. Miz with a headbutt to start but Kofi comes back a right for 2. Bourne in with a double foot stomp for 2. Kofi back in for a springboard flying burrito for 2. Truth in but eats a hiptoss. Bourne in with a headscissors as Booker says he knows all about tag team wrestling because he was a member of the great team, “Booker and Goldust.” That’s right, Booker T chose to reference his tag wrestling skills not by mentioning his 450 title reigns with Stevie Ray but instead his brief union with Goldust. Miz in but he eats a double dropkick and the faces clear the ring and hit stereo dives off the top to the floor. Back in, Truth puts the boots to Bourne and taunts to all the LIL JIMMYS! Miz boots Bourne behind the ref’s back for 2. Miz in now with a Batista kick for 2. Cole tries to play up Miz’s tag prowess by mentioning he “has been champion with three different partners.” I get that Cole is Miz’s cheerleader and a heel but equating Morrison and Show with Cena as Miz’s partners when his reign with Cena lasted 10 minutes is ridiculous. Double shoulderblock from the heels for 2. Bourne counters a front facelock with a release Northern Lights suplex. Miz cuts off the hot tag which Cole calls great “philosophy.” Miz jukes and jives and tries the Skull Crushing Finale but Bourne slides under and makes the hot tag to Kofi. He’s in with burritos and some double chops. Kofi hits the Boom Drop on Miz and wants the Trouble in Paradise. Truth tries the blind side but eats a burrito. Kofi with the Ranhei on Miz for 2. Kofi blocks an O’Connor roll but Truth Stun Guns him from behind. Miz with a strange front face DDT for 2. Kofi tries the hot tog but Miz cuts him off. The ref holds off Truth and Bourne heelishly claps like they got the tag. He’s in with the double knee drive but runs into a big boot. Bourne with an O’Connor roll for 2 as Miz argues with the ref. Bourne with a couple roundhouses and heads up top. He lands on his feet out of a SSP attempt. Miz with a DDT for 2 but Kofi breaks it up. Miz makes a legal tag to Truth but the ref doesn’t see it and holds off Truth. Miz hits the SCF and covers but the ref has his back turned. He FINALLY turns around and counts for 1. Miz gets pissed off and piefaces the ref who calls for the bell to DQ him at 9:51. Formula RAW tag match with the odd inversion of the blind tags for faces/heels to protect the heels in losing. **1/4

• Post-match, Truth and Miz beatdown the ref.

• Meanwhile, Striker stops them in the back and mentions they could get a fine or suspension. Miz and Truth say they don’t give a damn what the COO, Triple H might think about all that. After all, he might not be the COO after tonight.

• WWE Intercontinental Championship: Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes (c). This was set up by Dibiase getting kicked to the curb and then attacking Cody from under a paper bag. Going from The Marine 2 to being a doppelganger for the Unknown Comic is kind of a lateral move, no? Also, the idea of Dibiase being a face while coming out to a T-Pain knockoff that starts off, “I come from money, I come from class, These ladies love me for all my cash” is ridiculous. I mean who EVER saw money in Dibiase the younger as a face?

• Cody mouths off to start. They go through some chain with an up and over from Cody into a drop toe hold but Ted grabs a headlock. Ted rolls through a hiptoss attempt and hits a Batista kick for 1. Cody: BACKHIMUP! PUTTHEMASKON! Ted with a short arm clothesline for 1. Ted grabs a top wristlock but Cody hangs him up on the ropes with a low blow. Ted no sells and hits the Bluechipper dropkick for 2. Cody with an open hand smack to mostly crickets. Ted comes back and tries to follow behind Cody but runs into a knee. Cody springboards off the ropes with a gamengiri for 2. Cody with some boots and a gordbuster and the crowd couldn’t care less. This is what you get when the fans are supposed to cheer the rich asshole whose great misfortune is losing his attractive golddigger (Maryse). Cody goes to the Camel Clutch and then applies some kinda armbar that stumps Booker: “Cody Rhodes is ready, dawg. I mean, look at his technical… style. He’s sound in every area.” Cody goes to the test of strength but Dibiase monkey flips out. They do a double pin spot and that goes nowhere. Dibiase comes back with an armdrag and Orton’s neckbreaker. He whiffs on a dropkick and Cody boots him down. Cody goes to the ab stretch and grabs the rope in front of the ref who ignores it. Ted hiptosses out but runs into a dropkick. Cody goes to the chinlock. Ted escapes and follows behind this time and hits a clothesline. Decent callback. Ted with an inverted atomic dropkick and the BUSAIKU KNEE! Cover gets 2. Booker: “Ted’s going to have to bring it a little more. Right now, he’s bringing it. But he’s going to—have to–… go and get… GO UP THE TOP AND DO SOMETHING TO THIS KID! COME ON, TED!” Ted with a sitout spinebuster for 2. Cody rolls through Dream Street but jumps into a dropkick. Cover gets 2. Ted puts him up and armdrags him off. Ted tries to take the mask off and does(!) to a pop. Cody school boys him for the 3 at 9:43. Lame finish. Let me get this straight: you take a guy with no juice as a face and allow him to do something that should engender someone a lot of crowd love (taking off the mask/removing the weapon of the hated heel) and then you have him LOSE the match. Why allow the heatless face to do the deed? If he’s going to demask him, why does he lose? Too many questions, too many dropkicks, not enough entertainment. *1/2

• Christian is out next. He gets the stick. He’s a little upset that he doesn’t have a match on the card. Christian says he’s been a part of a lengthy list of incredible matches and because of that he deserves another chance at the WHW belt. He wants the winner of Orton/Henry tonight. He takes the cheap shot about Buffalo not winning the Super Bowl. He wants the crowd to chant for him to get “one more match” and most of them cheer along with him. That brings Sheamus out. He says he’d give “his Uncle Fargis’s lucky green testicle” for the chance to compete tonight. Sheamus says he’ll help Christian get his match if when he wins he gives Sheamus the first defense. Christian agrees and then Sheamus hits him with the pump kick. This was what it was.

• Fatal Four Way for the WWE United States Championship: John Morrison vs. Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler (c). No tags here. All in the ring at the same time. Riley and Dolph and Swagger and Morrison pair off. The faces throw them around into the turnbuckles to start and clear the ring. Swagger now alone with Riley and pounds him down with CLUBBINGBLOWS. Riley ducks a clothesline and hits an STO for 2. Riley tries a plancha on Ziggler but whiffs. Morrison school boys Swagger for 2. Morrison flips out of a suplex and gives Swagger an enzuigiri to the shoulder blade. Ziggler in but Morrison dropkicks him to the floor. Swagger hiptosses Morrison to the floor. Swagger and Ziggler now square off. Vickie wants them to get along but instead they implode as Swagger hits a clothesline and a big boot. Riley slides in and hits a fireman’s carry RKO on Swagger but Vickie puts his foot on the ropes. Ziggler sneaks in and dropkicks Riley down and complains about Vickie’s actions. Morrison with the gamengiri for 2. Ziggler avoids a suplex by clipping the knee and hitting a Rocker Dropper for 2. Morrison baseball slides through and puts Ziggler up top. Ziggler headbutts him to counter and Morrison gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Riley tries popping up to take his spot but Morrison gives him a German Superplex WHILE IN THE TREE OF WOE! SPIDER SUPLEX! That’s awesome. Swagger now pops up and throws Ziggler off the top. Quadruple KO spot. Morrison ducks a shot and takes down Swagger with some clotheslines. Morrison with a DDT out of a tilt-a-whirl. Morrison kips up and hits the backflip Rock Bottom for 2. Morrison wants Starship Pain but Riley gets the knees up. Ziggler in and puts the Sleeper on Morrison. Swagger with the Anklelock on Riley at the same time. Both faces escape and the heels collide. Riley with an implant DDT but Swagger kicks out at 2. Swagger rolls him into the Anklelock. Morrison breaks it up but Swagger goes low and this the Doctor Bomb. Ziggler shoves him out of the way and covers Morrison for the 3 to retain at 8:20. Like the opener, another formula match that’s entertaining enough but nothing remotely memorable other than the Spider suplex. **1/2

• Meanwhile, Josh Matthews is with Mark Henry. Henry steals the mic and says he has 15 years of pent up frustration and HE’S GOING TO TAKE IT OUT ON RANDY ORTON. And as for Matthews, ONE OF THE DOUBTERS, ONE OF THE HATERS, Henry wants him to come to ringside and interview him after his victory tonight.

• World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton (c). This was set up by Mark Henry taking out Kane, Big Show, stage hands and others. Essentially, he EARNED the title shot the old fashioned way by kicking ass and not through some contrived spilling coffee incident, shampoo commercial, or by making a tiger disappear. It’s amazing what some old school heat will get you in a challenger. Video package for this is excellent but also entirely focused on Henry’s rise. Lawler says he knew Henry was in store for big things when he shoulderblocked King out of the ring. Didn’t Rodney Mack do the same thing? Where are his “big things”? Maybe, Henry should do things in honor of Mack’s fallen star. I’m sniffing a return to the WHITE BOY CHALLENGE! ON TO THE MATCH!

• Staredown to start. Lock up and Henry tosses Orton into the corner easily. He comes back with rights and tries to chop down Henry. Henry down to a knee and Orton Batista kicks him the rest of the way. Orton drops some boots and a knee. Henry no sells and gets right up, so Orton sidesteps and tosses him. Henry is pissed and starts to take it out on the furniture. Back in, Orton slides out of a press slam attempt and wants the RKO but Henry shoves him away. Orton runs into a big boot and NOW WE GO TO THE HALL OF PAIN! Henry with a slow Ho Train and wants the World’s Strongest Slam but Orton slides out and goes to the mounted sleeper! Henry backs him into the corner. Orton with some CLUBBINGBLOWS but Henry with the KO punch and cold-cocks Orton off the top rope and to the floor. Henry sends him into the apron a couple times and continues the “methodical” beatdown. He puts Orton in a BOW AND ARROW AROUND THE RINGPOST! YEAH! Henry then throws him in and does the Andre spot of standing on him. Booker apparently thinks Orton screaming and convulsing means his heart has stopped: “Somebody get that boy the defibrillator!” Henry with the Warrior splash for 2. Henry drops an elbow and Cole is really giving him the hard sell as the “hungrier” (no pun intended) competitor tonight. Henry chokes: “I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS!” Henry poses to boos and then tells the crowd to shove it. YES! Orton fights back with Euro uppercuts and rights but Henry no sells and gives him a headbutt. He tries another Warrior splash but Orton avoids. Orton with the mounted shots in the corner. Orton with a couple clotheslines and a Bluechipper dropkick to take down Henry. Henry rolls to the apron and that sets up Orton attempting his DDT but Henry shoves him away. Nice transition but also unexpected he’d shove him away. Henry with the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Orton kicks out at 2! Henry pulls him over to the corner and tries the VaderBomb but Orton gets the feet up. He clips the knee and hits a shortened version of his DDT. THE VIPER IS COILED! Henry rolls to the apron and NOW Orton hits the apron DDT to a nice pop. Cover gets only 2 as Henry grabs the ropes. Heny suckers Orton in and chokes him on the second rope. Henry up first and Orton is actually SELLING! He uses Henry to pull himself up and Henry shoves him down. Orton tries again and Henry just lets him and openly taunts Orton. Orton goes for the RKO and Henry shoves him away EASILY. Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam to win it clean as a sheet at 13:07. The looks on the faces of some of the fans is priceless. Props to Orton for doing the right thing and doing it the right way. He didn’t sandbag Henry like he has others in the past. His selling in the last minute helped really make the moment for Henry and the match, in addition to masking Henry’s weaknesses, allowed him to focus on good character work. ***1/2

• Post-match, here’s Josh Matthews on cue. GIMMETHISMICROPHONE! I’m going to let the man in charge take over: “YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE, DID YOU? YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE I’D BE HOLDING THE MOST COVETED PRIZE IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! DID YOU!? OH NO! DON’T START CHEERING BECAUSE NONE OF YOU BELIEVED EITHER! YOU’RE ALL DOUBTERS! YOU’RE ALL HATERS! I’d like to welcome all of you to the HALL OF PAIN! THIS IS MY MOMENT AND I’M NOT SHARING IT WITH NONE OF YA! YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS! I’m going to be the most dominant champion OF ALL TIME! I’M TAKING ON ALL CHALLENGERS! I’M RUNNING FROM NOBODY! And I’m NEVER, EVER losing this title!” And that my friends elevates the whole shebang to at least ****, although no higher than ****1/2. Also, that’s another contender for promo of the year, although I’m sure everyone would “vote” Punk’s first shoot, one of Rock’s skewerings of Cena or a Kevin Steen rant above it. Even on the way out when Cole has taken over the audio, Henry shouts down some fan in the front row about his toy championship belt: YOURS IS FAKE! MINE IS REAL!

• Meanwhile, ADR tells Johnny Ace to treat him with the respect he deserves after his victory tonight. Ace wishes him respect and then does the same to an out of picture Punk. Punk suspects he’s less than genuine and then backtalks him about “future endeavors.”

• WWE Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly (c). Booker butchers the title by saying that Beth wants to be the “female women’s diva’s champion.” Beth is over with the crowd despite being full on heel (The show is in her hometown). Beth with a shoulderblock to start but whiffs on an elbow drop. Kelly flips out of a hiptoss and hits a slow springboard rana for 2. KELLY SUCKS! KELLY SUCKS! Crowd giving her a hard time so far just because of her opponent. Kelly with a headscissors on the apron and then heads up top and tries a crossbody. Beth catches her and then spanks her to a pop. Beth chokes her for a while. Beth slingshot her into the ropes for 2. Kelly flips out of a tilt-a-whirl and hits a bulldog to boos. Natayla pulls Beth to the floor and Eve takes offense and jumps her. Beth smashes Eve into the mat to a pop. KK with a small package for 2 and a crucifix for 2. KK wants the Rocker Dropper but Beth avoids and clubs her down. King speculates that Beth Phoenix might have worked in a steel mill. Booker shows his experience by saying it’s the first superplex he’s EVER seen by the ladies. Delayed cover gets 2 for Beth. KK sunset flips out of the Glam Slam and gets the 3 to retain at 6:24. Decent enough even if the ending seemed illogical and out of nowhere. **

• WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (c). We get the Ken Burns, sepia tone montage of all the great champions through the years and then we segue into ADR winning the title by cashing in on some random nobody who obviously isn’t important because JOHN CENA is the challenger and he’s here to stand up for winning the title the right way. According to the video package, Cena’s reason for getting the title shot is because he’s “cashing in a rematch clause” and also because he believes ADR isn’t a rightful champion. Cena drives out ADR’s Ferrari to steal his thunder. Justin Roberts starts to introduce both but ADR steals the mic and wants Ricardo to do it in Spanish instead. Lawler: “Yeah, take that you gringos!” Cena then gets the stick and cuts a promo introducing himself. Cole: “What a suckup!”

• Cena grounds ADR with a headlock early. He gets sent off but takes him down with a shoulderblock and ADR begs off. They do that entire sequence again to milk the crowd ripping apart and building up Cena from different sections. ADR boots him down as Cole lists his accomplishments. Cena with another shoulderblock and a bulldog out of the corner. He gets a head of steam but Ricardo trips him up. Charles Robinson ejects him and that seems a bit premature. Booker says she shouldn’t be out there anyway but had no problem with Vickie or Eve being at ringside earlier but I digress. Cena now with rights but he whiffs on a charge and ADR kicks him in the ribs a couple times. Cena bails and ADR sends him into the announce table. Back in, ADR hits a a fucking MONGOLIAN CHOP OFF THE TOP! Cover gets 2. ADR goes the chinlock. Cena powers out with a gutwrench suplex for 2. Cena with that phantom fisherman suplex for 2. ADR with an armbreaker for 2. He boots Cena down a couple times and I’m pretty sure misses the second by a good six inches as Cena bumps first but you can’t tell from the camera angle so I could be wrong. Del Rio boots the arm a couple times for 2. Booker: “WHOAAAAA!” Back to the chinlock. Cena with a belly to belly to escape. Double KO spot at roughly 5 minutes in. Double clothesline and another double KO. They botch something and ADR clips the knee. Cena gets to the apron and Del Rio tries to knock him off. Cena fights back with a Stun Gun. He immediately ignores the leg but runs into a clothesline for 2. ADR tries a Bossman attack but whiffs and eats it to the floor. Cena IMMEDIATELY springs up ignoring everything to suplex him back in and THEN goes back to selling exhaustion. I am well aware that sporadic no selling can be done effectively especially if it’s apart of someone’s character but this isn’t it. Now, Cena’s back to full steam ahead with the shoulderblocks and the Protobomb. He hits the 5KS and wants the FU but Del Rio slides out. He hits a backcracker for 2. Del Rio goes for the armbar TD but Cena counters to an ugly Stinger Splash and an even UGLIER dropkick. Cover gets 2. Cena heads up top but ADR cuts him off with a super enzuigiri for 2. Cena avoids another but goes for the drop toe hold. Del Rio avoids and instead hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. ADR hooks Cena in a Tree of Woe and chokes away. He goes for a charge but Cena sits up and Del Rio eats ringpost. Cena with the super Rocker Dropper for 2. He slides out of a FU attempt and instead hits an Australian style German suplex for 2. Del Rio heads up top for a senton and covers for 2. Del Rio goes to the armbar but Cena stacks him up and then Rampage powerbombs his way free. Cena with the FU but RICARDO RODRIGUEZ HAS COME BACK OUT! Cena disposes of him and locks in the STF. Del Rio struggles and finally taps at 17:12. The reason that finish comes off as sudden is because notice how ADR gets no false finishes to appear on Cena’s level. In that sense, this played more like a competitive RAW title defense than a PPV worthy main event. Also, while I’ve never been Cena’s biggest fan, I think he can bring the goods when motivated but this match wasn’t it with some absolutely dreadful “selling.” But even ADR was all over the place working the ribs, back, legs and arm at different points. **3/4

• Cena celebrates for what seems like an eternity. He hits on a female fan in the front row in front of her apparent boyfriend. He also walks by a billboard of his face. King: “John Cena already has a big head.” I’ll leave that one to your imagination.

• No DQ Match: CM Punk vs. Triple H. If Triple H loses, he’s no longer the boss. This of course revolved around Nash, texts, phantom car crashes, the WWE championship, contracts, whether or not Triple H wears Stephanie’s panties, shoot comments relating to 15 years ago, shoot comments relating to 10 years ago, shoot comments relating to 5 years ago, and of course skinny fat asses. Booker T: “TONIGHT, IT’S ON LIKE NECKBONE!” I guess I wasn’t the only reader of Book This!‘s Adventures of the n.W.o B-Team!

• Punk jumps Trips before he can do the water spit and pounds him down with CLUBBINGBLOWS on the floor. Punk then shitcans him into the crowd. Punk preps the announce table but H shoves him from behind UNDER(?) the turnbuckle. H now sends him into the barricade and the announce table. H preps a Pedigree but Punk slides out and wants the G2S. H avoids. ECW STANDOFF… ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Er, at least Triple H is on the announce table. Now, they both get in the ring and slug it out. H wins that and wants the Pedigree but Punk rams him into the corner with shoulder surges. Punk tries a high knee but Trips ducks and Punk eats it to the floor. H with a couple of lazy of whips into the barricade and apron and then lays Punk on the apron and seems lost for what he wants to do. Finally, he rolls Punk over and wraps his leg around the ringpost a couple times while on his back. That’s twice so far that Punk and Trips had some weird miscommunication on that apron/ringpost. Punk fights back with shots and now sends H into the barricade. Punk hits the high knee on the floor using the stairs as the symbolic. Booker calls him “grafty, real grafty” which I suppose means that Punk played him in a game of Three Card Monty in the back and lifted his wallet in the process. Punk wants a bulldog on the floor but H shitcans him into the crowd again. H with a GREENWICH BLUEBLOOD HAMMER OFF THE BARRICADE! Booker: “This right here, in the hood, we call this right here, uh—he just uh–TAKING IT TO THE, uh, STREET RIGHT HERE ON, UH, CM PUNK! ANYTHING GOES RIGHT HERE DAWG!” H mounts and potatoes him a few times for all that worked shoot stuff about Stephanie. Trips: “TALK ABOUT MY WIFE, HUH?!” Punk manages to recover and waffle Trips with a trashcan and then gingerly sends him into a guardrail. Punk with some crossfaces to give H another receipt. Trips with a double leg and slingshots him back into part of the entrance set. He preps a Pedigree but gets backdropped over the screen. We then FINALLY get a reveal of him laying on the floor after they had a couple seconds to move the landing pad. Punk now with the STRAIGHT EDGE HAMMER OFF THE SET! Punk then throws some gym bags at Trips that he probably used to cushion his landing anyway. They brawl back down to the ring. Punk gets a chair from under the ring and blasts him across the back. First cover of the match gets 2. Punk goes to the knees to the ribs. Booker: “From a cardio perspective, I’m sure Triple H is feeling it.” Punk off the ropes into a spinebuster for 2. H sets up the chair in between the turnbuckles and then sends Punk into the chair who gloriously jumps into it like a crash dummy. On the floor, Trips clips the knee and Punk sells it like death. Yes, Trips “worked” the leg earlier but that was two knee shots into the ringpost ten minutes ago.

• Trips now wraps the knee a few more times and then blasts the knee with the chair. Booker: “RIGHT ON THE KNEE BONE CONNECTED TO THE ANKLE BONE!” Booker might be worse than Dusty, although that’s probably the closest comparison in terms of inexplicable mistakes, “folksy” charm, and strange phrases. Triple H tells him to suck it with the crotch chop and then Punk kicks him into the stairs to fend him off. H gets the monitor but Punk gives him a headkick. Booker drops “educated feet” indicating that Vince or JR is in his ear. Punk gets the feeling back in his leg and hits the Macho elbow off the top through the announce table. The fans mark out for that although this has been timid so far. King: “That was savage.” I hope he was self-aware enough to make that pun. But WAIT! AWESOME TRUTH HAS COME OUT! Booker: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” Awesome Truth put the boots to both, BOTH. Keep that in mind. They hit their finishers on both as well. They drape Punk but H kicks out at 2. Miz and Truth take out their frustration on the ref on a solid minute. Punk and Trips continue to sell the finishers as the crowd is miffed into silence by the whole ordeal at this point. But WAIT! MY GOODNESS, IT’S JOHN LAURINITIS! Punk and Trips recover and clear the ring. Triple H hits a Pedigree and covers but there’s no ref. Here comes another ref but Ace holds him off and tells him to check on the bumped ref. Punk now hits the G2S and covers but Truth pulls out the ref. This is AFTER they draped Punk to win the match but Truth has decided to go rouge and declare that Punk now shall not win… or something. Punk shakes him off and gives him the G2S. King: “What are we witnessing?” Booker: “This thing has broken down right here tonight, King.” Indeed. Punk now springboards in but jumps into a boot from Triple H. Pedigree. Cover gets 1, 2—2.99! Crowd pops for that kickout. CM PUNK! CM PUNK! But WAIT! KEVIN NASH HAS COME OUT! Booker: “Das, das my big homey!” Nash now takes out both and the crowd again is “shocked” into silence. Punk breaks up Nash’s attempt at the Jackknife. Instead, Nash Jackknifes Punk and then goes after Trips again. H waffles him with the sledgehammer. H with one more Pedigree and that FINALLY puts Punk away at 24:10.

• That finish was an EXCRUCIATINGLY long 10 minutes after Truth and Miz’s run-in. With perhaps a hint of overstatement, that is one of the worst finishes to a PPV ever and one of the most overbooked clusterfucks of all-time. I can’t even wrap my brain around the sheer magnitude of the uselessness of all that crap. You’ve got Miz, Truth, Johnny Ace, ref bump, second ref, Nash, no DQ, sledgehammers. The feud was too complicated, the match was too complicated. It’s just a mess. Even before, all that stuff the match was rather pedestrian and was only hovering around ***, but no one in good conscience could rate this as enjoyable with that ending. **

The 411: Punk-Triple H SHOULD have been a MOTYC but it's grossly disappointing. As it is, the whole PPV is workmanlike with a series of absolutely wretched finishes all night. Fluke roll ups, DQs, schmoozes, etc. The only redeeming quality, but man is it good, old fashioned "star" making. Watch Henry-Orton, take a pass on all else.
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]