Rolling Germans Review: Zero One Fire Festival 2002 – Part 2

ZERO ONE: FIRE FESTIVAL 2002 – PART 2

OK OK… this is extraordinarily late. SO SUE ME! Truth be told, my thoughts on this show have been on microcassette for like three weeks now. I sat down and watched the show as planned but then well… I just didn’t feel like putting it together. My Ring of Honor tapes came in and that changed my whole plan of what I did and didn’t want to watch and/or review within the next little while. Anyway, I promised the good people (OK the guy that runs the site) at Marking Smart Videos that I would review this set. The thing that totally makes me wonder what my problem is, is that this set is actually really damned good and I’m still not motivated. Hmm… maybe I should just give away all my Puro. HA HA! YOU FUCKING WISH!

Um… I can’t really remember what this review is brought to you by. I mean come on; how many people remember what kind of heart attack inducing food and/or drink they ate three weeks ago while watching wrestling? Hmm… well I’ve got to plug something so I’ll run with HALLOWEEN CANDY I STOLE FROM WORK! SCORE! Well, it’s not technically stealing. You see the company I work for had this “return your Halloween Candy with no hassle deal.” Anyway, for obvious safety reasons we can’t re-sell the chocolate after it’s been returned so we’re instructed to “throw it out.” CHA CHING! Our boss basically said “take whatever you feel like.” So of course I go right after the Reese/Oh Henry 35 BARS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER! PEANUT BUTTER THAT SHIT DOWN!

In case you’ve forgotten or hell, if you’re reading this review before reading the first review then here are the standings after day 1:

BLOCK A:
Shinjiro Ohtani = 2 points
King Joe = 2 point
Kintaro Kanemura = 0 points
TAKA Michinoku = 0 points
Masato Tanaka = 0 points (off day)

BLOCK B:
Kohei Sato = 2 points
Steve Corino = 2 points
Yuki Ishikawa = 0 points
Hirotaka Yokoi = 0 points
Tetsuhiro Kuroda = 0 points (off day)

Of course THE MOTHERFUCKING BITCHMASTER is in first place and because he’s generous as hell, took today off the tournament to work a tag match. Ah Ohtani, you give and give and ask for so little in return aside from a new sword to slash people with now and then.

SHINSUKE SUMIYA/YOSHITO SASAKI vs KUROGE WAGYUTA/FUGOFUGO YUMEJI
Man… just when you think you’ve seen every match with a bunch of guys you’ve never heard of, they throw in Sumiya. Sorry folks but I haven’t got a clue who he is outside of him being pretty green and debuting sometime in 2002. Everyone else should be familiar from the previous part of this tournament with Yumeji still managing to suck and me praying for Wagyuta vs Sasaki for the majority of the match. We’re JIP’ed as Sasaki fires off a Missile Dropkick on Yumeji. Sasaki looks for Grandpa’s Piggyback of Fun but that’s stopped cold and Wagyuta looks for a lariat only to have that reversed into a German Suplex for 2 and ѕ. Sasaki heads up but he’s cut off with a Superplex followed up with a Sit Out Full Nelson Slam for 2 and ѕ. Yumeji tags but he takes a GORE! GORE! GORE! Sumiya tags and hits a Butterfly Suplex for 2 and Ѕ. Inside Cradle for 2 and Ѕ. Backslide for 2 and ѕ. Man, this is like watching John Cena with more charisma. Wagyuta tags and hits the Charging Bull Avalanche followed up with a Powerslam for 2 and 9/10. LARIATOOOOOO! 1… 2… 2.SASAKI SAVES! Sasaki gets thrown out, giving Yumeji and Wagyuta the chance to hit a Headbutt – Powerbomb combo for the victory. Well it was about four minutes out of twelve and I’m grateful for that because this wasn’t all that good from what I saw. Clipping = no rating.

BLOCK B: STEVE CORINO (2 Points) vs YUKI ISHIKAWA (0 Points)
Corino gets mic time and says he’s never tapped out in his life. AHAHAHAHA! Now THAT’S funny. The first half is all comedy as Corino makes an ass of himself. You’re forced to wonder if he’s being a moron to entertain his little son rather than for the benefit of anyone else because most of it is terrible and only worthy of a kid. Anyway, Corino brings the cheating with wrist tape choking and I’m starting to cry. Ishikawa mercifully comes back and hits a Backdrop Suplex. He slaps on a Rolling Guillotine and goes into the mount. Corino escapes and looks for HANDS FULL OF COCK (low blow) but Ishikawa has none of these back door shenanigans and fires off an Enzugiri followed up with a Triangle Lock for the victory. This was just terrible. It was better than the last Corino match but that’s not saying anything at all. You know something’s wrong when the finish is a counter to a low blow. We’ll go * for the whole thing and hope Corino can bring himself to something watchable in his next match.

BLOCK B: HIROTAKA YOKOI (2 Points) vs TETSUHIRO KURODA (0 Points)
I didn’t really get a good look at Yokoi last time around considering he worked one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a while against Corino on the first show. Anyway, Yokoi brings the punches but Kuroda comes back with a BIG TIME lariat. Kuroda brings the leg work with a dropkick to the leg and a figure four. He breaks in order to post the leg and we end up outside. We end up brawling for a while until we get into the ring and Kuroda looks for a chairshot but YOKOI PUNCHES THROUGH THE CHAIR! HOLY SHIT! He goes into the mount with MEGA PUNCHES and slaps on a Juji Gatame. The announcer is fucking off his nut calling this thing. Kuroda makes the ropes but Yokoi just beats the ever loving shit out of him with MEGA STIFF strikes. Kuroda drops like a ton of bricks and barely makes the standing ten count. Yokoi looks for a Guillotine but that’s reversed into a Northern Lights Suplex and Kuroda FUCKING STEAMROLLS HIM with a HUUUUGE LARIAT! Kuroda looks for another lariat but that’s ducked and Yokoi hits a Released German Suplex but Kuroda NO SELLS and THE LARIATOOOOOO! NO SOLD! MEGA PUNCH! NO SOLD! LARIATOOOOOO! 1… 2… 2.999999! ANOTHER LARIAT! BLOCKED! ROUNDHOUSE TO THE JAW! FUCKING KNOCK OUT! I LOVE IT! This was boatloads of fun. Kuroda had some fun with the comedy but dropped it in the second half and brought the great work. Insane stuff down the stretch and the crowd was loving it. Very enjoyable. **1/2

TATSUHITO TAKAIWA/NAOHIRO HOSHIKAWA vs SPANKY/CW ANDERSON
Oh for the love of God, IT’S FUCKING CLIPPED! SHIT! Everyone in this match kicks ass and I would love to have seen the complete version. Spanky looks really thin here, moreso than usual (and that’s a scary thought if you’ve seen this guy wrestle). I’m not quite sure what Anderson is doing in a junior tag match. Anyway, we’re JIP’ed to Anderson hitting a Superkick on Takaiwa. Spanky tags but Takaiwa has none of his skinny boy offense and hits a DVD. He looks for a Powerbomb but that’s reversed into a Rana. Spanky charges but he’s met with a BIG TIME lariat. Hoshikawa tags and hits his trademark Inazuma Leg Lariat (props to Stuart for hooking the name of that move up) for 2 and Ѕ. Lariat is reversed into a Cradle for 2 and Ѕ. Hoshikawa heads up but that’s cut off with a Rana for 2 and ѕ. Spanky looks for another Rana but that’s turned into a Single Leg Crab only to have Anderson save. Enzugiri gets 2 and ѕ. Rolling Butterfly Lock is broken up by Anderson. Takaiwa has enough of this shit and takes him out with another BIG TIME lariat. Hoshikawa looks for a German Suplex but Spanky slips out and hits a Rolling Double Leg Cradle for the flash victory. Well this was fun work but there was about three minutes of a thirteen minute match here so I can’t rate it.

BLOCK A: KING JOE (2 Points) vs TAKA MICHINOKU (0 Points)
Man, TAKA just can’t catch a break. First he’s dropped on his head a bunch by THE BITCHMASTER and now he’s got to be thrown around by King Joe. Poor bastard, look what leaving the humiliation of Jakked/Metal gets you. TAKA stalls… and stalls… and stalls… FUCKING GET ON WITH IT! Finally he brings the chops but Joe obviously no sells everything. Joe fires off a Superkick and follows up with an Overhead Belly to Belly. Knifeedge Chops are sold like TAKA’s world is ending and Joe hits a Flying Kneedrop for 2 and Ѕ. Joe looks for a Dragon Suplex but that’s blocked and TAKA hits an Enzugiri. TAKA looks for a Crossface but Joe slips through and hits a BAAAAACKDROPPAH for 2 and ѕ. Joe goes into a Crippler Crossface and TAKA is in all kinds of trouble. He barely makes the ropes and Joe looks for a German Suplex but TAKA slips out only to take a kick in the gut and Joe looks for a Powerbomb but TAKA slips through into a Sunset Flip for the victory. WOW! JOE IS FUCKING PISSED! He slaps on a Kati Hajame (Tazmission) and it takes a bunch of guys to pull him off. This was pretty much Joe kicking the shit out of TAKA for five minutes and then the surprise roll up ending. TAKA doesn’t quite have what he used to but he’s throwing himself into everything, thus making all the moves look like instant death (probably because it could be). This should have been longer with both guys getting in more offense but it wasn’t bad while it lasted (after the stalling that is). *3/4

BLOCK A: MASATO TANAKA (0 Points) vs KINTARO KANEMURA (0 Points)
Wow; if this doesn’t scream FMW then I don’t know what does. I can’t even count the amount of matches these two worked against each other in singles, tags, six mans, etc… I figured this match would be special when I first saw the match list. We go hyper speed to start until Kanemura gets his fat ass up for a Rana. WOW! More fast paced stuff leads to a Tanaka lariat sending Kanemura outside. Tanaka follows up with a TORNADO DDT FROM THE APRON TO THE FLOOR! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Kanemura is sent in the rail but Tanaka eats rail on the charge. Kanemura sets up a Table and rams Tanaka into it. TANAKA TAPS A GUSHER! YEESH! Kanemura breaks the table and USES IT AS A JAVELIN! TANAKA’S A FUCKING BLOODY MESS! Back in the ring and Kanemura gives the table a fresh coat of paint. I think it’s one of those new colours; Tanaka blood red is it? Kanemura looks for a Hardcore Suplex but that’s slipped out of only to have Kanemura hit him in the gut and fire off a THUNDERFIRE POWERBOMB FROM THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR! THIS IS FUCKING SICK! I LOVE IT! Back in the ring and Tanaka’s head is raked across the ropes. This is beyond sickening. BIG TIME lariat gets 2 and ѕ. This is all Kanemura. Tanaka hasn’t had a move since that DDT. Kanemura rips off a piece of table and CARVES TANAKA’S HEAD! OH MY GOD! Kanemura fires off a table shot but FINALLY Tanaka no sells and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb. He fires off the trademark Forearm – Lariat combo and looks for The Tornado DDT but gets thrown off. Kanemura charges only to take a kick in the gut and a Fisherman’s Buster followed up with THE FIVE… STAR… FROG… SPLASH! 1… 2… 2 AND 9/10! Tanaka looks for The Thunderfire Powerbomb but that’s blocked and Kanemura hits a NO LOOK REVERSE TOMBSTONE! BRUTAL! THUNDERFIRE POWERBOMB! 1… 2… 2.999999! FAT ASS SENTON! 1… 2… 2.999999! German Suplex is flipped out of by Tanaka and it’s a GORE! SPEAR! GORE! DIAMOND DUST! ROARING ELBOW! BLOCKED! BACKSLIDE! 1… 2… 2.999999! LARIAT! BLOCKED! ROARING ELBOOOOOOW! 1… 2… 2.999999! Tanaka looks for another Frog Splash but Japan Rule #1 kicks in and he takes knees in the gut. Kanemura charges and he’s FUCKING KILLED WITH A LARIAT! Both guys are spent. They get to their feet and DOUBLE ELBOWS! THEY’RE BOTH DOWN! DOUBLE KO! I will gladly take that ending because they used everything but the kitchen sink and anything else may have come off as disappointing to be quite honest. As you can tell, I FUCKING LOVED THIS! This was stiff as hell. Tanaka bled like a stuck pig. I can’t believe he was able to work at such a crazy pace despite losing God knows how much blood. The crowd was off the charts. The false finishes had me out of my chair on more than one occasion. FMW fans will think it’s 1996 all over again and love every second of it. This is the match that prompts you to get this tape. ***3/4

RYOUJI SAI/KOHEI SATO vs DAISUKE SEKIMOTO/SHINJIRO OHTANI
YES! First we get a bad ass singles match and it’s followed up with THE MOTHERFUCKING BITCHMASTER! Sekimoto is a rock solid worker out of the Big Japan Pro Wrestling promotion. I haven’t seen a ton of his work as I tend to avoid BJPW considering it’s predominantly a garbage fed (yes yes, I know it has clean matches too, don’t cry BJPW fans). Sai and Sekimoto have a long battle with strikes galore until Sekimoto settles it down with a Bow and Arrow. Ohtani tags and BRINGS THE SMACKTALK! YOU LOVE IT! He beats the piss out Sai and ties him up in The Tree Of Woe. He claps to the crowd to warm the place up and FUCKING DRILLS SAI WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE! I LOVE THIS GUY! They slap each other silly but Sai the dirty young punk breaks the rules with a kick. Sato tags and looks for a Facelock but Ohtani BITES HIS FINGERS! HA HA! Ohtani pulls out the trademark Running Boot Scrapes to a MEGA POP! Ohtani slaps him silly and tags Sekimoto. We get a bunch of counter stuff leading to a Lariat for 2 and Ѕ. He charges but Sato meets him with a Uranage. FINALLY Sai tags (Sato was in there extraordinarly longer than I let on here) and brings the stiff kicks for 2 and ѕ. He charges but he’s met with a BIG TIME Sekimoto Lariat followed up with a German Suplex for 2 and ѕ. Ohtani tags and slaps on a High Angle Crab. “RY OU JI! RY OU JI!” SHUT UP CROWD! YOU SHOULD BE YELLING “BITCH MA STAH! BITCH MA STAH!” Anyway, Sai makes the ropes but Ohtani of course doesn’t break until the five count. Ohtani looks for a Cobra Clutch but that’s stopped and Sai hits a BAAAAAACKDROPPAH! JUJI GATAME! THE CROWD EXPLODES! OHTANI’S FLAILING! ANNOUNCER HAS FIVE HEART ATTACKS! Ohtani barely makes the ropes. NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! 1… 2… 2.999999! He looks for another but Ohtani blocks and slaps on THE COBRA TWIST! SAI’S IN TROUBLE! SATO’S BEING HELD OUTSIDE! TAAAAA… NO! SATO SAVES! Sekimoto and Ohtani hit a Lariat – German Suplex Combo but Sai kicks out only to have Ohtani go right back into the Cobra Twist for the tap out. BITCHMASTER GOODNESS! This was really good stuff from everyone involved. I can’t believe how good Sai is looking for someone who can still be considered a rookie. The vets gave the young guys some good openings throughout the match but never so much as to take away the “young guys struggling to win” story. Great work, another helping hand from a rabid crowd and insanity near the end make me happy. ***1/4

TOM HOWARD/PREDATOR vs YOSHIAKI FUJIWARA/SHINYA HASHIMOTO
UGH! You get two bad ass matches and finish up with this lump of crap? Ah well, let’s get it over with. Did I mention Fujiwara is older than dirt and needs to retire for the good of all that can see him wrestle? The heavyweight feel out process leads to Hash looking for a slam but no dice and Predator hits a slam – legdrop for 2 and Ѕ. Hash comes back with chops and a Big Elbow for 2 and Ѕ. Howard tags and we’re clipped (you’d never have noticed if the clock wasn’t in the background. It’s like the Simpsons episode with Homer on that tabloid show). Howard gets in a Superkick and both teams tag. Predator brings the sluggish garbage until Fujiwara comes back with a headbutt to the gut and The Fujiwarma Armbar. Well there’s his offense. Fast Forward to Hash’s hot tag and a DDT for 2 and Ѕ. Spinning Leg Lariat gets 2 and Ѕ. He slaps on The Triangle Armbar but Predator makes the ropes. Fujiwara tags (NOOOOO) but Predator just punks him out with a HUGE Split Legged Facejam for the victory. Fujiwara is beyond old. I know fans love him for past accomplishments but enough is enough. He’s a detriment to the promotion because his ring work sucks and he can’t be a draw by this point in time. Hash’s stuff kicked ass but the rest was a total waste of my time. *1/4

So at the end of day two:

BLOCK A:
Shinjiro Ohtani = 2 points (off day)
TAKA Michinoku = 2 points
King Joe = 2 points
Kintaro Kanemura = 1 point
Masato Tanaka = 1 points

BLOCK B:
Kohei Sato = 2 points (off day)
Steve Corino = 2 points
Yuki Ishikawa = 2 points
Hirotaka Yokoi = 2 points
Tetsuhiro Kuroda = 0 points

Partial Analysis: Two good – great matches make me a happy man. Kanemura vs Tanaka was an absolutely fantastic, bloody hell of a match and is definitely worth going after. The rookies vs vets tag match was good bordering on great as well. The rest isn’t all that good but there’s nothing that makes you want to pull your hair out like Corino vs Ishikawa from the first tape. Overall this portion of the tournament was just a step better than part 1 with two ***+ matches though I still enjoyed Ohtani vs TAKA more than Tanaka vs Kanemura. Ah well, two for two in my book. Fire Festival 2002 Part 2 is a mildly recommended part of the set. Don’t forget to pick up this show and the rest of The Fire Festival 2002 from Marking Smart Videos (THEY RULE! GO NOW!)

Justin Baisden
Rolling Germans Wrestling