The Chrononaut Chronicles: Clash of the Champions XXV

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The Chrononaut Chronicles
WCW Clash of the Champions XXV – November 10, 1993

– Upon his return to WCW earlier in the year, Sid Vicious was immediately positioned as a main-eventer and plans were set in motion to build the company around Sid as the top babyface. Despite his spotty track record of holding up promoters, walking out when unhappy, and generally being difficult to work with, Sid Vicious was deigned the man who would finally dethrone WCW World Heavyweight Champion Vader at Starrcade ’93 and unify that belt with the International World Title (formerly the NWA World Title) early in 1994. However, before all that could happen, Sid got into a legit hotel room brawl with Arn Anderson while on a tour of England and those plans were scrapped. This much-publicized confrontation involved a pair of scissors being used as a weapon and both men ended up with stab wounds and suspensions from WCW. Once again, WCW royally screwed up by investing too much in a flaky musclehead who had no allegiance to the business, and once again, Ric Flair stepped up to the plate to save the company.

– The twenty-fifth Clash of the Champions truly lives up to its name, as all of the major championships in WCW will be decided: Rick Rude defending the International World Title against Hawk, Lord Steven Regal putting the World TV Title on the line against Johnny B. Badd, the super-powered duo of Sting & Davey Boy Smith challenging the Nasty Boys for the World Tag Team Title, Dusty Rhodes inserting himself in his son Dustin’s corner for his US Title defense against Paul Orndorff, and Ric Flair meeting Vader for the WCW World Title. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?!?

– LIVE from the Bayfront Arena in St. Petersburg, Florida! Making his Clash debut, Mean Gene Okerlund welcomes us to the show and wastes no time in shilling the WCW Hotline, kidsgetyourparentspermission. Tony Schiavone and Jesse “The Body” Ventura are on commentary as usual.

– WCW International World Heavyweight Championship: “Ravishing” Rick Rude © vs. Road Warrior Hawk

Although they seceded from the NWA effective September 1, WCW legally owned the Big Gold Belt signifying the NWA World Champion and renamed it the International World Heavyweight Title, attributing its fictitious legitimacy to a mysterious International Board of Directors. Rick Rude won the championship from Ric Flair at Fall Brawl ’93 to mark his first World Title victory, an achievement tainted by the second-class treatment that the title received from WCW. Michael Buffer handles the ring introductions and looks genuinely surprised when the Ravishing One interrupts him and grabs the microphone to deliver his traditional pre-match smacktalk. A posedown erupts early in the bout and Hawk challenges Rude to a test-of-strength, but apparently Hawk has no peripheral vision as Rude just starts clubbing the foolish Road Warrior. After no-selling the ol’ turnbuckle head-slams, Hawk goes on the offensive and executes an actual gameplan as he works over Rude’s back with stomps, slams, and suplexes. Rude rakes the eyes and drops Hawk with a backbreaker, but he dives off the top turnbuckle and eats Hawk’s boot. Hawk clotheslines Rude over the top rope and they slug it out on the floor until referee Randy Anderson counts them both out and calls for the bell at 5:41. ** Not much to see here, since Rick Rude had been working with a bad back for quite a while and couldn’t take the same bumps he once did.

Know your role and shut your mouth, Michael Buffer.

– The Equalizer vs. The Shockmaster

After his infamous debut at the previous Clash, the Shockmaster’s gimmick was changed to that of a fat, clumsy construction worker who loves kids. That just had money written all over it. During this match, Schiavone mentions something going on in the locker room involving Rick Rude and the British Bulldog. The Equalizer pounds away and scores a two-count after a back suplex, but Shockmaster comes back with a big boot and a bearhug slam to end our misery in 2:28. DUD Taking the worst parts of Clash XXIV and combining them into one match must surely be either a sick joke or a scientific experiment designed to create the biggest Black Hole of Suck the universe had ever seen.

Would you live in a house built by this man?

– Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Colonel Robert Parker and they discuss how he dropped Sid Vicious as a client and signed the hottest free agent in wrestling, Stunning Steve Austin. The Colonel claims that Sid isn’t within a 100-mile radius of the arena due to a restraining order he has on him, but Mean Gene insinuates that he saw Sid in the men’s room. What a fucking weasel and yet another example of why WCW had such a hard time establishing trust and loyalty within their fanbase. They knew damn well Sid wouldn’t be on TV and they still acted like he might show up.

– WCW World Television Championship: Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal (w/Sir William) ©

Lord Steven Regal captured his first World TV Title from Ricky Steamboat at Fall Brawl ’93 and successfully defended the belt against Johnny B. Badd via underhanded tactics on a recent WCW Saturday Night, setting up this rematch. Some good chain-wrestling early on as Johnny gets the better of Lord Steven and works a headlock, but Regal ducks a crossbody and Badd hits the ropes. Regal unleashes the European uppercuts and grinds Badd down while Schiavone reports that Davey Boy Smith wants to challenge Rick Rude for the International World Title. Johnny clocks Regal with a big left hand and takes forever to cover him, and Sir William puts Lord Steven’s foot over the bottom rope to stop the count. Distracted by William, Badd is easy prey as Regal rolls him up with a handful of tights to retain the WCW World Television Championship in 6:33. ** Regal was so fluid and natural, but there wasn’t much to this match.

– Flyin’ Brian Pillman vs. “Stunning” Steve Austin (w/Colonel Rob Parker)

Much like my own reaction to the breakup of the Hollywood Blonds, Jesse Ventura is heartbroken and dismayed, and he even states that he doesn’t want to call the match. The split occurred after Col. Parker showed interest in signing Steve Austin as a singles performer and informed Brian Pillman that if he were a racehorse, he would have had him put down due to his bad leg. Flyin’ Brian then turned face when he attacked the Colonel on WCW Saturday Night and Stunning Steve came to his new manager’s defense to kick off the feud between the Blonds. Pillman is all over Austin as soon as he steps through the ropes and then chases Parker around ringside until Austin ambushes his former partner with a clothesline. Back inside, Pillman comes back with a back-bodydrop and chops away before taking Austin down in a spinning headscissors. On his knees, Austin offers a handshake and Ventura wishes that the Blonds would re-form, but Pillman spits on his former partner and they fight out onto the runway. Stunning Steve attempts a piledriver on the runway, but Flyin’ Brian back-bodydrops out of it and dives off the top turnbuckle. However, Austin gets his foot up and then tosses Pillman off the runway down onto the guardrail. They trade chops and Pillman follows Austin into the ring with a slingshot crossbody for a two-count, but Austin presses him overhead and drops his throat across the top rope to take control. While the Colonel mops his brow with his hanky at ringside, Schiavone pushes the asinine idea that Sid Vicious is possibly in the building and Ventura responds that we won’t see Sid because he doesn’t have the guts to violate a restraining order. Now THAT’S how they should have handled it if they had to mention Sid at all. Austin locks on a half-crab and uses the ropes for leverage until referee Nick Patrick sees it and forces him to break. It’s back-and-forth now as Flyin’ Brian comes back with a flying reverse back-elbow out of the corner and Stunning Steve climbs to the top, but Pillman hits the ropes and Austin crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Brian hooks him up for a superplex, but Steve counters by dropping Brian face-first to the canvas. Austin then dives off the top and Pillman hits him in mid-air with a dropkick for two. Another big counter comes when Pillman attempts a slingshot crossbody and Austin catches him in a powerslam for a near-fall. Pillman plants him with a DDT for a near-fall after avoiding another maneuver, and Austin shows he knows his former partner just as well when he counters a crucifix with a Samoan drop. The Stunning One decides to go aerial again, but Brian moves out of the way and the pool is empty, allowing Brian to cradle Steve for yet another near-fall. Austin goes for the Stun Gun, but Pillman goes over the ropes out to the apron instead of landing throat-first. Pillman tries to springboard back in, but Parker trips him up and Austin spikes him into the mat on the way down before rolling Pillman up with a handful of tights to win the Battle of the Blonds in 9:11. Flyin’ Brian goes after the Colonel following the match, but the braggadocious Southerner escapes and retreats with Stunning Steve. **** This was a fantastic encounter that was built on the idea that Austin and Pillman knew each other inside and out, with plenty of counters and near-falls to spice up the non-stop action.

– It’s time for the WCW Battlebowl Control Center! Gene Okerlund explains the lottery concept (although it isn’t called the Lethal Lottery anymore) and introduces promos from Paul Orndorff and Sting to hype the event.

– WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff (w/The Assassin) vs. “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes (w/Dusty Rhodes) ©

The ego of Dusty Rhodes is so massive that he gets top billing over his own son in the ring introductions, even though he’s only a cornerman. And just in case you thought you were supposed to care about the actual wrestlers involved, it’s made clear that the match is just a backdrop for a feud between two big fat old retirees as Dusty whips off his jacket and confronts the masked Assassin. The story here is that the Assassin has always held a grudge against Dusty, so he aligned himself with Paul Orndorff in order to injure Dusty’s son Dustin. Known as a tag team wrestler (with Assassin #2) and a regional star in his heyday, as well as the father of referee Nick Patrick, the Assassin is now massively overweight and looks nothing like the lethal villain he’s supposed to be. Ventura even makes a few cracks about the Assassin’s weight, pointing out that his head can barely fit in his mask anymore. While Dustin Rhodes works a headlock, the Fatassassin is shown “sneaking” around ringside and Jesse can’t help but laugh at such a ridiculous premise. It bears repeating that this was not meant as a comedy angle, and that someone on the booking committee thought this was a viable storyline. Paul Orndorff escapes into a top-wristlock and works on Dustin’s arm, but the Natural reverses it and focuses on Orndorff’s arm in response. The match consists mostly of boring ’70s-style mat wrestling from both men, presumably to appeal to the only demographic that would give a rip about a feud between Dusty Rhodes and Assassin #1 in 1993. Mr. Wonderful blocks the bulldog and Dustin sunset-flips him for a two-count, but Ornorff clotheslines him down and signals for the piledriver. Dustin back-bodydrops out of it, but he’s still hurt and Wonderful dives off the top turnbuckle with a flying kneedrop. However, Rhodes rolls out of the way and small-packages Orndorff to retain the WCW US Heavyweight Championship in an excruciating 12:09. Afterward, Orndorff clotheslines Dustin over the top rope and the Assassin posts him at ringside. Predictably, Dusty unleashes bionic elbows on Assassin and tries to remove his mask, but Orndorff blindsides the American Dream and holds him while Assassin nails him with the US Title belt. When Orndorff sets Dusty up for a piledriver, Dustin makes the save and chases the heels out of the ring. * The perfect match, if you have a severe case of insomnia. Jesse Ventura’s cracks about the Assassin’s weight were the only entertaining parts of this segment. Admittedly, the crowd was hot for Dusty, but this was in Florida so it’s understandable.

I think we know what happened to Assassin #2 now: he was eaten by Assassin #1.

– Mean Gene plugs the Manager of the Year voting on the WCW Hotline. Despite not managing anyone for the majority of the year, Teddy Long is one of the four choices along with Sir William, Missy Hyatt, and Harley Race. If that isn’t a bumper crop of managers, I don’t know what is.

– WCW World Tag Team Championship: Sting & “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith vs. The Nasty Boys (Saggs & Knobbs w/Missy Hyatt) ©

Returning to WCW under the management of Missy Hyatt–looking sluttier than ever and billed as “The Nastiest Woman in WCW”–the Nasty Boys were quickly pushed to the top of the tag team heap and they captured the World Tag Team Title from Arn Anderson & Paul Roma at Fall Brawl. Even though they haven’t teamed together since Beach Blast in June, the “Superpowers” combination of the British Bulldog & Sting somehow qualified for a title shot. The bout starts off hot as the Superpowers immediately open up on the Nasty Boys, as Sting fights Brian Knobbs in the ring and Davey Boy Smith pounds Jerry Saggs out on the runway. While this is going on, Rick Rude crawls out beside the runway and sneaks up behind the Bulldog, snapping on the Rude Awakening to kick off their planned feud. The Ravishing One flees the scene as Road Warrior Hawk comes out to chase him off and check on the Bulldog. Sting helps Davey Boy back to the ring and deposits him on the apron before the Nasty Boys jump the Stinger and start clubberin’. That doesn’t last long, as Sting fires off a double-clothesline and a pair of dropkicks. Still unable to stand up on the apron, Davey Boy is a liability to his team as Sting keeps stopping to check on him while also beating up Saggs by himself. The tide turns when Sting goes to the top turnbuckle and Knobbs shoves him off from the apron while Missy distracts referee Nick Patrick. While the Nastys pound on Sting, the Bulldog finally regains his vertical base and rallies the fans behind his beleaguered partner, and it works as Sting reverses a bearhug into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Knobbs. Saggs clotheslines Sting back down and tosses him to the floor, where Knobbs chokes him with his leather jacket, but Sting escapes from a camel clutch in the ring and makes the hot tag. The crowd erupts as the Bulldog unloads on both Nastys with powerslams, dropkicks, and clotheslines before pressing Sting over his head and hurling him into the WCW Tag Team Champions. Davey Boy plants Knobbs with the running powerslam and covers him, but the ref is busy trying to get Sting out to the apron and he doesn’t see the pin. Saggs drops a big flying elbow off the top turnbuckle across the back of his head and Knobbs pins Smith to retain the WCW World Tag Team Championship in 8:30. *** A good match for what it was, with a great story as Sting played a classic face-in-peril and showed great concern for his injured partner, even as he was facing a two-on-one situation. That good-heartedness and caring for his friends was a hallmark of Sting’s character and led to his disillusionment during the nWo invasion years later.

Be vewy, vewy quiet… he’s hunting Bulldogs.

– Backstage, as Ric Flair is getting ready for his entrance, Col. Rob Parker gets in his face and informs him that Steve Austin will be challenging the winner of tonight’s WCW World Title bout. When the Colonel starts poking him in the chest, the Nature Boy suckerpunches him and walks off for his match.

– WCW World Heavyweight Championship: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (w/Fifi the Maid) vs. Vader (w/Harley Race) ©

Following the masterful ring introductions by Michael Buffer, we go to commercial and when we come back, Ric Flair is inexplicably applying the figure-four on Harley Race in the middle of the ring. No longer known as Big Van, the singularly-named Vader breaks that up with a big splash and the match is officially underway as Schiavone recalls the Flair/Race showdown from the very first Starrcade ten years ago. The WCW World Champion proves his dominance as he unleashes his usual assortment of bruising punches and deadly power moves, including a short-clothesline, a big press slam, the pump splash, and the Vader Attack. Flair takes his trademark flip over the turnbuckles out to the floor and Race smashes his head against the guardrail, but when Vader leaps off the apron, Flair moves and he crashes onto the railing. Showing great agility, Flair dives off the top turnbuckle with a flying clothesline to the floor and chops away back in the ring. Vader attempts to reassert himself, but he misses a splash off the middle turnbuckle and Flair hooks him in the figure-four. The hold is broken when Race reaches in and rakes Flair’s eyes, and Vader splashes him for a near-fall. Expressing frustration with a loud “DAMN IT!”, Vader goes for a Vader Attack off the middle turnbuckle and Flair catches him in a powerslam, although it was obviously Vader taking the bump since Flair barely touched him on the way down. The Nature Boy employs a successful aerial strategy to combat Vader’s size and strength as he lands a flying chop and then a flying clothesline off the top to fell the 450-pounder. Evidently, Ric can only connect with top-rope maneuvers when he’s a babyface, due to some deep-seeded psychological issues. Vader tries to come back with a clothesline, but Flair ducks and referee Randy Anderson receives the blow. While the ref is down, Vader crushes Flair with a massive superplex and follows up with his mind-blowing moonsault, but Slick Ric rolls out of the way and Vader misses by a mile anyway. The ref regains consciousness just as Flair covers Vader for an apparent three-count, but Vader’s leg was over the bottom rope. The crowd pops huge as Flair grabs the WCW World Title belt and holds it aloft, but the decision is announced as a disqualification victory in 9:32 because Vader had clotheslined the ref earlier. What a cheap finish. Why did he start to count the pin if he was planning on disqualifying Vader? Ensuring that we don’t have time to question that logic, Col. Parker and Steve Austin hit the ring to help Vader assault Flair, but Dustin Rhodes and the Shockmaster make the save before much damage can be done, aside from the damage of seeing Shockmaster involved with main-event players yet again. ***½ The match itself was very good, with Vader dishing out his usual brand of pain and punishment and Flair selling the hell out of it. Considering the trouble Vader had with his knees and back over the previous months, his performance was even more impressive. Flair having to switch up his style also made the match-up feel fresh and different, but that finish was the same old crap that helped kill Jim Crockett Promotions, except this time it was happening TO Flair.

Apparently, Randy Anderson was swimming across the ring.

– Mean Gene steps in for a post-match interview and Ric Flair claims that if Vader & Stunning Steve accept his challenge, he will face them in a tag team match on WCW Saturday Night with Sid Vicious as his partner. The match had already been taped weeks prior, and ironically Sid still wasn’t involved because of a pre-match assault from the Colossal Kongs. His replacement was Arn Anderson, with Sid doing a run-in at the end of the show. It’s worth noting that the only person who tried to be honest here was Jesse Ventura, as he repeatedly stressed that Flair would have a partner, while everyone else specifically mentioned Sid by name.

The 411: While this edition of Clash of the Champions was not one of the finer offerings, the show was made even worse with the repeated hints that Sid Vicious might appear when it was common knowledge in the company that Sid was all but gone from WCW. Nevertheless, there were some very good matches that could have been even better if they had been given more time. Many of the matches were originally designed to set up future programs, some of which never happened. Despite their great matches together, the Battle of the Blonds between Steve Austin and Brian Pillman eventually focused more on Brian's hatred of Col. Rob Parker, rather than his ex-partner who stabbed him in the back. Rick Rude's interference in the Tag Team Title bout was in service of a new feud against Davey Boy Smith that was scheduled to lead to a match at Starrcade '93, but the Bulldog was fired before that could take place and he was replaced by the arrival of The Boss (Man, is he Big!). The main event between Vader and Ric Flair was a pit-stop on the way to the planned Vader/Vicious showdown that was supposed to turn WCW's fortunes around, but instead it led into the classic Flair/Vader rivalry and resulted in an extremely emotional evening at Starrcade. WCW's penchant for signing midcarders from the WWF (Paul Roma, Bulldog, Nasty Boys, Boss) and then pushing them as championship material had not paid off, and Ric Flair was once again Heavyweight Champion of the World as 1993 drew to a close.

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]