The Chrononaut Chronicles: WCW Clash of the Champions XXX

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The Chrononaut Chronicles
WCW Clash of the Champions XXX – January 25, 1995

– Back in November of 1994, a very rare moment in WWF history occurred on Monday Night Raw when Vince McMahon announced on the air that they were unable to come to terms on a contract with the legendary Randy “Macho Man” Savage and wished him well in his future endeavors. Those future endeavors involved signing a lucrative deal with WCW and the Macho Man immediately made an impact as he went face-to-face with Hulk Hogan and teased a heel turn, playing off of their legitimate love/hate relationship, but Savage decided to bury the hatchet and shook Hogan’s hand at Starrcade ’94. Since the WWF owned the trademarks on the names “Mega Powers” and “Mega Maniacs” and probably even “Ultimate Maniacs”, the reunited superteam was given the silly moniker of “Monster Maniacs” as they joined forces to combat evil in WCW. Signing Savage was a big coup and a shocking surprise, since he had seemingly settled into Semi-Retired Legend status in the WWF as the co-host of Raw and now suddenly he was thrust back into active competition in WCW’s main event scene.

– The opening video sets the stage for the thirtieth edition of Clash of the Champions: The Guardian Angel has been appointed as the special guest referee as Sting seeks revenge against Avalanche! New WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat take on their first challenge in former champs Stars & Stripes! Johnny B. Badd challenges Arn Anderson for the World Television Title! High-flyers collide as Alex Wright meets Beautiful Bobby! Monster Mania runs wild when Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage battle the Butcher & Kevin Sullivan! But beware, warns the TBS voiceover guy, because Vader has purchased two front-row tickets to see the Hulkster up close and there are rumors that Ric Flair may appear tonight. And only three months after losing the Career Match to Hogan at Halloween Havoc.

– LIVE from the Caesars Palace Sports Pavilion in Las Vegas, Nevada! Tony Schiavone and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan provide refreshingly toga-free commentary.

– WCW World Television Championship: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson (w/Col. Rob Parker & Meng) © vs. Johnny B. Badd

Now serving as the Stud Stable’s Enforcer, Arn Anderson is enjoying a renewed push as he won the TV Title from Johnny B. Badd on a recent episode of WCW Main Event. The first big bump of the match comes when Arn climbs to the top turnbuckle and Johnny knocks him all the way down to the floor with a dropkick. As Col. Parker helps Arn up at ringside, Johnny dives over the top rope and wipes them both out. Back in the ring, Badd lands a flying double-axhandle for a two-count and applies an armbar while Tony brags about WCW having the only pro wrestling program to crack the Top 100 on cable in 1994. The game is afoot! Badd hits an enzuigiri after Anderson catches his foot and then when the roles are reversed, Badd ducks Anderson’s enzuigiri and wraps him up in a rolling cradle for two. The 15-minute time limit for TV Title bouts is mentioned as Arn drops Badd with a snake-eyes hotshot to take control and cuts off his comebacks, but Johnny strings together some offense and decks Arn with the left hook. The Enforcer falls out to the floor and the Colonel revives him by dumping a pitcher of ice water on his face while Meng distracts referee Nick Patrick. Johnny decides to chase Parker around ringside while Meng pushes Arn back into the ring so that when Parker baits JBB into the squared circle, Anderson is waiting to snap on the DDT and pins Badd to retain the World Television Title in 7:38. Double A’s “All by myself!” boast to the camera afterward is pretty good. *** This was a solid outing with a good finish, as Arn was the consummate worker and Johnny was improving with each Clash.

Just a typical Wednesday night for ol’ Arn.

– Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Sullivan & The Butcher in the locker room. Sowing the seeds of dissension between the Monster Maniacs, Sullivan alludes to a deal he had made with Randy Savage and theorizes that due to the possible appearances of Ric Flair, Vader, and Harley Race, tonight will not be a good night for Hulk Hogan.

– “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton vs. “Das Wunderkind” Alex Wright

Prior to the match, it’s the world premiere of the Alex Wright music video, featuring Das Wunderkind thrusting and grinding to his awful techno entrance theme. This stuff would have been brilliant if he was a heel, but as it was they were trying to create a new pretty-boy babyface. Keeping it mostly on the mat in the early going, the undefeated 19-year-old relies on armbars and European uppercuts until Bobby Eaton takes control after ducking a high crossbody off the ropes. That doesn’t last long, as Alex comes back with a spinning heel kick and a missile dropkick off the top for a two-count. After kicking out of a crossbody, Beautiful Bobby drops Das Wunderkind with a spinning neckbreaker and follows up with the Alabama Jam, which earns a surprisingly big pop from the crowd and a close near-fall on Wright. Shortly thereafter, Wright pins Eaton with a high crossbody out of the corner at 7:38. ** Despite being a second-generation wrestler, Alex Wright got a lot of flak back in the day because he was so young and inexperienced, but he showed potential here as old reliable Bobby Eaton walked him through a passable match.

Little-known fact: this is what the “Walk” symbol on traffic lights looks like in Germany.

– Mean Gene brings us up to speed on the storyline between WCW World Champion Hulk Hogan and WCW United States Champion Vader, as they have signed to clash for the World Title at SuperBrawl V with the caveat that they cannot wrestle each other at all until February 19. Vader comes out for an interview alone and produces two tickets, warning that Harley Race could show up at any time when Okerlund asks his whereabouts. The US Champion explains how he has been stalking Hogan at an autograph signing, his hotel room, and the gym, and claims that he couldn’t find him because the Hulkster has been “dodging the demon” so he decided to buy a ticket. Vader then heads down to his ringside seat conveniently located beside the entrance aisle.

How did this guy miss out on a Men’s Big & Tall endorsement deal?

– Escorted by two lovely young ladies, Ric Flair is introduced and he passes by Vader on his way to his own seat further back. Vader can afford better seats than Ric Flair? Then again, Ric needed three seats AND had to pay the women so it probably evens out. Their heated feud from one year ago is referenced as the Nature Boy raises his hands in a sign of non-aggression and Vader just stares him down. Bobby Heenan leaves his commentary position briefly to go shake Flair’s hand and Slick Ric indicates that one of the women is for the Brain after the show. Heenan later reports that her name is Jessica and invites Tony to come along… because they need someone to drive.

If this is what retirement is like, sign me up!

– WCW World Tag Team Championship: Harlem Heat (Stevie Ray & Booker T w/Sister Sherri) © vs. Stars & Stripes (Marcus Alexander Bagwell & The Patriot)

Although the focus is now off the match since Ric Flair’s entrance came between the ring introductions for the two teams, they work hard to gain the crowd’s interest as Stars & Stripes clear out Harlem Heat with double dropkicks and the Patriot scores a two-count after a high double hiptoss on Booker T. The crowd chants “USA” in support of Stars & Stripes because even though the Heat are also Americans, they aren’t true patriots so it doesn’t have the same effect on them. At least that’s my theory. The two teams engage in a back-and-forth match-up until things get messy after Bagwell and Booker both go for a crossbody and collide in mid-air. Bagwell crawls over and makes the hot tag, but Sister Sherri had the referee distracted so he missed the tag. The Patriot slugs away on both members of the Heat anyway and ostensibly distracts the ref from seeing Sister Sherri climb up on the apron with her high-heeled shoe in hand. Sherri ends up nailing Booker T by accident and Bagwell rolls him up, but Stevie Ray delivers a kick to reverse their positions and Booker pins Bagwell to retain the WCW World Tag Team Title in 9:45. **½ Not a bad match at all, as it was fairly energetic and Harlem Heat were starting to hit their stride as a big-time tag team.

– In the locker room, Mean Gene interviews the Monster Maniacs with Jimmy Hart and they both talk about overcoming the odds against them tonight in Las Vegas. Also of note, Hulk Hogan refers to his own manager as a “squeaky little mouse” and orders Jimmy to squeal as loud as he can at ringside if he sees Vader or Ric Flair move from their seats. What a dick. Subservient as ever, the Mouth of the South chirps up and gleefully accepts his role as their lookout.

– The SuperBrawl V Control Center with Gene Okerlund! All he talks about is Hogan vs. Vader and mentions the stipulation that they are not to be within 200 feet of each other anywhere in the world, which better explains why Vader would have to buy a ticket tonight, but doesn’t hold up if you actually think about it. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure WCW could still deny him entry based on the ban. It would be a bit like David Letterman’s stalker arguing that she should be allowed into the audience of his show.

– Avalanche vs. Sting

For the ultimate in contrasts, Tony brings up Sting’s classic match against Ric Flair at the first Clash of the Champions seven years ago. Deeming him the only man capable of enforcing the law, WCW Commissioner Nick Bockwinkel appointed The Guardian Angel as the special referee and he imposes himself early in the contest when he physically stops Avalanche from pounding Sting in the corner. Sting then avoids an avalanche and dropkicks Avalanche over the top rope as Heenan runs for his life. When Sting steps out to follow up, the Guardian Angel stands in front of him and orders him back in the ring to prove his impartiality. Back inside, Sting scoops up Avalanche for a bodyslam, but the 500-pounder is just too massive and he falls on top of Sting for a two-count. Using his overwhelming weight advantage, Avalanche dominates Sting with an elbowdrop, a legdrop, and a powerslam before Sting mounts a comeback and unleashes a quartet of Stinger Splashes. This offensive fury renders Avalanche dazed enough for Sting to successfully bodyslam the big man and pop the crowd, while Heenan claims that he has never seen any man do that to Avalanche, which in a way is true since it was Earthquake that Hulk Hogan used to bodyslam on a regular basis in the WWF. Sting cinches in the Scorpion Deathlock and Avalanche taps like a bitch, but for some reason Guardian Angel doesn’t call the match and the bell doesn’t ring until Nick Patrick runs out and declares Sting the winner in 5:22. Visibly distressed over having his authority questioned by WCW’s Senior Official, the Angel pushes Patrick down and goes nose-to-nose with Sting before shoving him back. The Stinger responds with a big right hand, but Angel completes his heel turn as he clotheslines Sting down and beats on him with help from Avalanche. All it takes to scare off these killer heels is a trio of midcarders in the form of Alex Wright, Marcus Bagwell, & The Patriot as they come out and Sting miraculously recovers. **½ While this was no Sting/Vader, the match followed a similar formula and Sting always sold a fantastic beating when it came to bigger guys. I truly believe if Sting had gone to the WWF in the late ’80s, he could have been the “Next Hulk Hogan” they were desperately trying to produce for years. He was cool enough for the guys to like him and hot enough for the girls to want him, and he had an infectious charisma that could have been molded by McMahon and company into mainstream popularity.

AVALANCHE WARNING!

– Mean Gene catches up with Avalanche and Guardian Angel on their way up the aisle and ruins the reveal by immediately blurting out the name of Big Bubba Rogers, noting that the Angel has had an identity crisis for a while. Angel claims that Avalanche did not submit and confirms that he is indeed going back to his roots as Big Bubba Rogers from now on. Good, stop ripping off old WWF gimmicks and rip off your own old gimmicks instead!

– Kevin Sullivan & The Butcher vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart)

Ed Leslie as The Butcher is my vote for Worst Heel Ever, devoid of any personality or menace; even his heel mannerisms are basically the old struttin’ and cuttin’ motions with less of an emphasis on the cuttin’ and more on trying to look scary. Michael Buffer introduces the Monster Maniacs as “the newest and most exciting tag team in the world” and the commentary paints them as the ultimate duo, including Heenan inexplicably calling them the “Team of the ’90s.” The Monster Maniacs display their rudimentary teamwork when Hulk Hogan slugs away on the Butcher and holds him while Randy Savage swoops in off the top turnbuckle with the flying double-axhandle. Heenan brings up the horrible parasailing accident that crushed the Butcher’s face (I could have sworn that was Brutus Beefcake) and morbidly teases that his whole appearance could change if he gets hit hard enough. See, Ed Leslie would have been the perfect guy to put under a mask if you were trying to repackage him as the lead villain; not only would it drastically alter his appearance, but it would make sense because of his injuries and a black, steel-reinforced face mask could have given him an edge. The Monster Maniacs–nope, sorry, that still sounds FUCKING STUPID. Is that SERIOUSLY the best team name they could come up with?! “Macho Maniacs” or “Madness Maniacs”, combining Macho Madness with Hulkamania, are both RIGHT THERE. Anyway, the Maniacs control the Butcher until he ducks a big boot from Hogan and clamps on the sleeperhold. In a matter of mere seconds, Hogan is an unconscious puddle of humanity on the mat and the Butcher raises his arms in victory, but no, he’s just a total idiot who has been in the business for over ten years and still doesn’t understand how a match ends. Apparently just as dumb as Beefcake, Kevin Sullivan joins the victory party until referee Randy Anderson informs them that they didn’t win the match because he didn’t even get a chance to drop Hogan’s arm before Butcher released the hold. Oblivious to the reality of the situation, Sullivan & Butcher continue to celebrate while Savage slaps Hogan in an attempt to revive him. When that fails, the Macho Man scampers up to the top turnbuckle and drops the flying elbow to trigger the Hulkster’s innate no-sell reflex, and BY GOLLY, it works! Thinking that Savage has just turned heel, the crowd buzzes with uncertainty until Hogan pops up, fresh as a daisy. To borrow a quote from the epic bard Butt-Head, “This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.” So ridiculously over-the-top and silly, but it worked because of the history between them and Hulk’s propensity for no-selling finishers, as well as the cartoonish atmosphere WCW had been building in the upper card. The Butcher takes some abuse from the WCW World Heavyweight Champion and eats a double big boot from Hogan & Savage, but he manages to shoot Savage toward his corner and Sullivan kicks him in the head to turn the tide. Proving what a thoughtful team player he is, Hogan decides to approach Vader at ringside even though he hasn’t done anything all night except yell out a few choice comments. While the referee is busy with Hogan, Butcher & Sullivan toss Savage over the top rope and ram him into the ringpost. The two Faces of Fear torture the Macho Man inside and outside the ring while Hogan continuously tries to get involved and keeps distracting the ref, then accuses the ref of being on the take. Wow, what a great partner. The Butcher locks in the sleeper, but Savage counters with a jawbreaker and makes the molten-hot tag. The Hulkster drops the Butcher with the big boot, setting him up for the flying elbowdrop from Savage, followed by the big legdrop for the three-count at 11:04 and the crowd goes crazy. *** mostly for the Macho elbowdrop that revived Hulk and the crowd-pleasing finishing sequence that blew off Brutus “The Butcher” Beefcake’s main event run. Savage also gets credit for selling one hell of an ass-kicking and adding some human drama to the match. Afterward, Vader knocks Savage out of the ring and powerbombs Hogan, but he quickly pops back up and sends Vader fleeing from the squared circle. On his way up the aisle, Vader promises to make history at SuperBrawl and the Monster Maniacs pose and flex to end the show.

Just what the doctor ordered.

The 411: A milestone that wasn't acknowledged on the air, the thirtieth Clash of the Champions was a solid program right up until the end of the show when Vader and his powerbomb were emasculated in front of a prime-time viewing audience. Formerly the most feared and crippling finisher in the sport, Vader's powerbomb turned out to be nothing more than a minor annoyance to the almighty Hulkster, even after a grueling match. Before that point, WCW had been doing a great job of building intrigue regarding the appearances of Ric Flair and Vader and how they would effect the main event. Ultimately, Flair ended up doing nothing and Vader looked completely ineffectual. Once again, Hulk Hogan stands tall on a pedestal on top of a mountain and everybody else is beneath him.

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]