The Furious Flashbacks – WWF Rebellion 2000

The Furious Flashbacks – WWF Rebellion 2000

Impeach Churchill

Just the other day I was scouting around Ebay for bargains and what should pop up but this tape for the princely sum of 99 pence. I’ve seen most of the English PPV’s but I really don’t remember this one. It took place shortly before Armageddon in 2000. For those who don’t recall; that was an exceptionally mediocre PPV only saved by a decent 6-way Hell in a Cell. Just to demonstrate how much the WWF had going on in 2000 there are five title defences on this card including filler bouts for the European, Womens and Hardcore titles. The only other thing of major importance is that Rikishi is in the middle of a quite large push and he’s main eventing this show along with The Rock and Steve Austin who are all chasing Kurt Angle’s WWF title. 2000; when Undertaker still came out to Kid Rock, Trish was still a manager and Billy Gunn had just started to really suck.

OUTSIDE – A taxi turns up with “COMMISH” as the licence plate. It contains Mick Foley and Debra.

We’re in Sheffield, England. Hosts are Jim Ross and Tazz.

PROMO TIME – Mick Foley & Debra. Just the name checks for Austin & Rock gets huge reactions. Apparently Triple H wanted to be in the main event. He did? I’m STUNNED. Foley says he doesn’t deserve it. Foley does a HHH impression complete with fake nose to tell us Triple H has gone home because he couldn’t be in the main event. Foley thinks that Angle might try to get himself disqualified in tonight’s main event so now it’s no DQ and no count out. He starts running down the possibility of Angle losing without being pinned, which brings Angle out to complain. It sounds weird to not have the “you suck” chants. He points out that he’d never cheapen the WWF title much like an Englishmen would never win an Olympic gold medal. Debra tells him this decision is final.

Table Elimination match – T+A v Edge/Christian v Dudley Boyz

Weird seeing Trish as a heel manager and nothing more. Great to see Albert again. I’m so a mark for him. Everyone is over. Dudleys double suplex Albert and Bubba drops some elbows. Albert no sells some chops and in comes Test. They double team and get a table for the Dudleys. The table experts set the table up but Albert boots the table back at them breaking it. Albert has to get himself another table. Well that’s what you get you bloody vandal. D-Von saves Bubba by moving the new table on a double backdrop. Test big boots Bubba back down. Edge blind tags in but quickly tags out to Test after its clear Bubba isn’t immobile. D-Von comes in to clean house on the big man team. Double team neckbreaker on Albert. Table is in and Albert tries for something very violent only for E+C to stroll in and dump Albert through the table at 4.23.

E+C are significantly fresher and Christian trips up D-Von allowing Edge to add in a baseball slide. Back in D-Von runs into a back elbow. Christian in for a Russian legsweep. Crowd wants tables. You already had one. Settle down. E+C go for a table but Bubba dropkicks it back into their faces. Ref misses a hot tag as the crowd get some serious clapping going. D-Von hits a reverse DDT and here comes the hot tag. Christian gets dumped on the ropes with a hot shot. Sidewalk slam on Edge. Bubba runs into a spear courtesy of a Christian leapfrog. Waaaassssuuuup from Edge on Christian thanks a reversal from Bubba. WAAAASSUUUUUP headbutt on Edge from the Dudleys. Now its table time. Christian makes the save by knocking Edge over so the Dudleys jack him up instead for the 3-D through the table at 9.54. **1/4. That was an entertaining little match. It probably helped that the crowd was so into it. I’m just not used to hearing a crowd that insane these days.

BACKSTAGE Lita gets a massive pop just by appearing on the Titantron. Lita says it’s her first trip over here as she talks through her teeth again. I hate that. She’s planning on regaining the Women’s title tonight.

Women’s title – Ivory (c) v Lita

I forgot how horrendous the RTC music was. Stevie Richards is out here and on the mic. The Full Monty didn’t impress him (me either, over rated nonsense where swearing somehow made it a common man’s film). Apparently nudity isn’t on and neither is having a pub on every street corner. Watch it, Richards. That’s skating on thin ice. He blames the monarchy. Lita starts out fast and double legs Ivory. She does her standard horrible offence and messes up most of it before running into a contrived corner spot. Back suplex gets 2. Stevie tries to get in there but Lita hangs him up on the ropes. Ivory adds a legdrop for 2. Northern Lights minus the bridge gets 2. Lita comes back with the headscissors. Hey, she’s out of moves she can do. Twist of Fate and she hits a tope on Richards for some reason. Sunset flip but Ivory sits down and Richards holds her arms for leverage and the pin at 2.55. DUD. Yeah, that sucked.

BACKSTAGE The Rock absorbs the love of the fans. The Rock claims tonight is the night that Angle loses the belt. Try February, Rocky. The Rock says his Christmas gift for Kurt is an ass-whippin’ all over Sheffield. I miss The Rock.

Hardcore title – Steve Blackman (c) v Perry Saturn

Saturn is a first tonight. He’s the first guy who’s not over. Saturn jumps ahead of the bell. Tazz predicts a “rocketbusta”. They actually wrestle, which is a nice switch for hardcore. Saturn hits a pescado for a 2 count on the floor. Blackman reverses and hits a suplex on the concrete. A trashcan gets a bigger pop than either wrestler. Baking tray to the knee from Blackman. Spinning tray shot gets 2. Trashcan in the corner and Saturn drop toeholds Blackman into it for 2. Blackman tries some martial arts but Saturn is wise to that and hits him in the head with that tray for 2. Blackman tries wrestling with a backslide for 2. Saturn gets a crucifix for 2. Blackman tries to skin the cat but Saturn blasts him in the head with that tray. Saturn celebrates in lieu of winning. He goes for a tope but gets blasted in the head with that tray in the old Benoit-Sabu spot only this is pretty much the worst execution of it I’ve seen. Fire extinguisher is discharged at Blackman and Saturn grabs a chair. He sets it up all Raven style but it’s Blackman who drop toeholds him into it. Blackman has sticks…of doom! It’s party time! Bunch of stick shots gets 2. Saturn gets an inside cradle for 2. Saturn has the chair but Blackman kicks it back into his face for the 3 spot at 6.01. **. Not bad actually. They did some wrestling and played to their strengths and didn’t bore the crowd.

BACKSTAGE William Regal says it’s wonderful to come back home. He has a distinct lack of accent compared to usual. Regal heels on England by saying England doesn’t have any sports heroes. Lennox Lewis isn’t even British and Prince Naseem is worthless. Crowd still cheer. Quite why they wanted to have Regal heel here is a mystery. Despite claiming everyone was on the dole he gets popped some more.

OUTSIDE The Undertaker arrives on his bike.

European title – William Regal (c) v Crash Holly w/Molly Holly

Both commentators call William “Steve Regal”. He gets a mixed reaction thanks to the promo but there’s still people cheering. Crash jumps from behind and we’re underway. He hits a headscissors instantly matching everything Lita can do in one move. Regal wipes him out with an awesome Blue Thunder for 2. Regal waves to a mixed reaction. Suplex gets 2. Crash gets a cheeky roll up for 2 but Regal knocks him straight back down demonstrating his general superiority. Crash’s only advantage is to hit fast and hope for a fluke win. Back suplex gets 2. Regal grinds away at a chinlock but Crash gets a backslide for 2. Crash hits a rana for 2. Regal dumps Crash on his face and pins for 3 at 4.35 but Crash’s foot is on the bottom rope. Molly points it out and we continue. But he counted three! It’s an outrage. Molly adds in a missile dropkick and Regal jobs to it at 4.59. *1/4. Started well enough but the finish made little to no sense other than to switch a belt that no one cared about anyway. Oh, and to job Regal to a girl.

BACKSTAGE Angle complains to Benoit about his predicament and asks him to run interference in the main event suspecting he’ll get the same deal as Regal just got.

Billy Gunn/Chyna v Eddie Guerrero/Dean Malenko

Chyna sucks up to the fans with a Union Jack on his top. “The One” Billy Gunn? The One what? Luckily Benoit destroyed him shortly after this and put pay to his last major push. Billy can’t seem to do anything right here so Eddie dropkicks his knee and takes the offence. Gunn then hits a whirl slam and totally forgets his knee injury. Billy then fucks up his timing and leaves Eddie looking like a chump as he begs off. Everyone in and the heels collide. Double press slam from the faces. Malenko in to try and make Chyna look like a competent wrestler. Chyna with a handspring back elbow but Eddie trips her up. I note Chyna can’t be bothered to put half the effort into selling that Malenko did. More timing issues follow mainly down to Gunn who looks even worse than Chyna at times. Chyna shows some ring skill with a nice low blow on Malenko followed by a DDT. Gunn in for a double clothesline. Powerslam on Malenko gets 2. Jackhammer and Malenko shows his lack of love for Goldberg by totally no selling it. Rocker Dropper gets 2 and we get crowd shots for some reason. Gunn ends up finishing with his Cobra Clutch slam at 7.26. *. Mostly bad thanks to the faces but it was nice to see Malenko working his magic out there to make them both look like a million bucks.

Out in the crowd some locals talk to a British presenter whose name I didn’t catch. Some bitch has travelled 2 hours from Birmingham. I travelled 7 hours to get a show in Scotland once just to see Jody Fleisch. That’s more dedication than you! Sheffield is just around the corner at 2 hours.

Chris Jericho v Kane

Jericho starts out fast but gets laid out with a big boot. Jericho counters with the springboard dropkick. Back inside Kane shows his massive power advantage by catching Chris coming off the top and hitting a powerslam for 2. Kane continues to use his power. Why fix it if it ain’t broke? Jericho uses the ropes to flip and an inside cradle gets 2. He keeps running into Kane’s big right hands though. Jericho shows his heart as he tries to fight back but runs into a sidewalk slam. Kane goes up top but that’s a mistake and Jericho crotches him. Jericho needs something big but Kane shoves him off the top. He goes for the diving clothesline but Jericho has him scouted and dropkicks him halfway down. Jericho connects with an Enzuigiri and heads up top for a missile dropkick for 2. Jericho gets a roll up for 2 and he holds on for the Walls of Jericho. Kane is too strong for him to hook it but Jericho switches into a bulldog. Lionsault gets knees. Kane has too much left in the tank. Chokeslam finishes at 8.04. *1/2. Jericho made the mistake of going for the finish too early and paid for it.

POST MATCH Kane goes to leave but Jericho chases him and delivers a chair shot. Walls of Jericho is on and Kane taps out but they’re on the stage so that means exactly jack all.

BACKSTAGE Lita gets mocked by Trish Stratus. Lita isn’t impressed and throws water at her. This was before Trish was considered a wrestler so Lita beats the crap out of her. No wonder Trish gave her a beating when she was eventually trained up. Trish gets her top ripped off and we see Ivory getting changed to boot. That’s about all the UK PPV’s were ever good for. A little bit more T+A. I’d give it a 0.2 on the Jacqueline scale though. Sure Trish was wet and topless but it’s hardly a full tits out in the ring kind of deal.

WWF tag titles – Bull Buchanon/Goodfather (c) w/Val Venis v Hardy Boyz

Hardyz start fast and in tandem with pescados. Jeff hits a headscissors on Bull but spends too long mugging for the crowd so Goodfather takes his head off with a clothesline. Jeff and Bull fuck up something and Teddy Long pretends it was a blind tag. Matt cleans house to almost no reaction. Goodfather miscues with the belt shot nailing Bull. Matt adds in a Yodelling Legdrop for 2. Goodfather made the save thus redeeming himself. Matt gets run into the ring post and now he’s isolated. Eventually he scores with a desperation DDT but Goodfather blocks the tag. Matt dodges the Ho Train though and hot tags Jeff in. He hits a big dropkick and lands on his head. Safe and worker. Two words that’ll never appear in the same sentence as Jeff Hardy. Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind and they add a Poetry in Motion. Matt hits the Twist of Fate and Jeff adds the Swanton Bomb. It’s over but Val Venis breaks up the fall with the Money Shot to the back of Jeff’s head. That knocks him out and it’s over at 8.05. *. Bad formula tag. The odd Hardyz high spot was about all of any interest for the crowd. Remind me why the RTC had the tag titles with all these great tag teams running around? E+C won them back right after this btw.

BACKSTAGE E+C get hit up by Kurt Angle for some support as well. Christian says he’s in pain because that 3-D was “well harsh”. Angle thinks they should be there for him because he’d be there for them Friends style.

ELSEWHERE Taker is walking around until he runs into Benoit. The Radicalz all show up to take apart Taker’s knee.

Undertaker v Chris Benoit

Benoit asks for a forfeit win because Taker takes his sweet time coming out here. He comes hobbling out at the third time of asking. Well, that’s a bull’s-eye and Benoit goes right after the knee. Taker comes back with a press slam. Taker walks the ropes Old School style but hurts himself on a 2 count. Benoit runs into a big boot but bails to wrap Taker’s knee around the ring post. Taker drags him into the post to block it. Outside and Taker lifts Benoit up to run him into the post back first. I can’t believe how little Taker is giving Benoit here despite only having one leg. BORE-HUG is on. Taker goes for a powerslam but Benoit gets out and dropkicks the knee. He goes back to town on that injured body part. Taker fires back so Benoit dropkicks the knee again. Benoit hooks on a standing leglock. Taker reverses out and tries to level the playing field so Benoit dropkicks his knee again. Benoit is sticking to the basics and he hooks on a Figure Four to zero reaction. Taker kills some time selling it before turning it and Benoit gets the ropes. Benoit hits a back suplex and goes back to the knee. Benoit up top – FLYING WOLVERINE TO THE KNEE! He goes for another Figure Four but Taker rolls him up for the pin at 12.17. **1/2. And there’s your probable match of the night. Having said that it was mostly boring and it was only Benoit’s focus that gave it such a high score. Plus half a snowflake for the diving headbutt to the knee.

WWF title – Kurt Angle (c) v The Rock v Steve Austin v Rikishi

Angle comes out second perhaps knowing that Austin-Rock would be the Wrestlemania main event and he’d be relegated to midcard. Austin & Rock team up to take out the heels. Austin-Angle is left in the ring. Austin hits a spinebuster for 2. He’s clearly after a quick pin with Rock-Rikishi on the floor. Suplex gets 2. Rikishi trips him up before he can go for another pin. Rock goes in and hits a Samoan Drop on Angle for 2. Angle goes to the eyes and he’s getting desperate already. Rock & Austin take it in turns to beat on Rikishi. Angle takes a powder but Rock chases him down and clotheslines him on the ramp. In the ring Austin hits a Thesz press and the Austin elbow gets 2. Angle in and he gets a Thesz press too. Austin is so energised here. Rock wails on Rikishi and hits a flying clothesline. Rikishi hits a butt avalanche and Rock drops into position. Rikishi goes to back dat ass up but Rock goes low, hits a spinebuster and does the People’s Elbow. Angle has to make the save. Heels take over but the faces fire back with rights leaving them alone. It’s an early squaring off for the two biggest names in wrestling. Austin throws the first punch and we get a nice slugfest that the crowd just eats up. They’re more supportive of Austin btw. STUNNER! Rock sells like he’s been hit with a nuclear missile. Angle makes the save. Everyone in and Rikishi gets a 2 count on the fallen Rock. Austin fires up and turns Rikishi inside out with a clothesline. Rock is back up as Austin stomps on Angle. ROCK BOTTOM! Rikishi pulls the referee out at 2. Angle is on Rock though – ANGLESLAM. Ref is on the floor arguing with Rikishi so it’s a delayed cover for the 2 count. Austin cheekily rolls Angle up for 2. Now Angle’s backup arrives with Edge and Christian running out here. Austin bails to work them over while Rock hits the ROCK BOTTOM on Rikishi. Edge drags Rock off the cover. Austin is in the ring though only for the Radicals to run out and prevent the cover after a STUNNER. Now Angle has an already double finished Rikishi on his own. ANGLESLAM and that’s it at 8.47. **3/4. Short and overbooked main event but just LOADED with effort. I knew it couldn’t go on for long the way that Austin was just working constantly the whole time. Quite why they felt the need to keep it so short I’ll never know.

POST MATCH We go all house show style with the Radicalz running in to take finishers off the two babyfaces. Austin bitches at Rock for giving him the Rock Bottom even though he threw the first punch. They make amends over a beer.

The 411: Just a glorified house show that the WWF felt they could charge money for. The Crash win over Regal is the only historical interest story on the show but the European title pretty much meant nothing by this point anyway so that’s not even that important. It’s marginally worse than the mediocre PPV that followed it. There are two major problems with this show. 1. They tried to fit 9 matches into less than two and half hours. Thus nothing got any time. Not even the main event. 2. Most of the roster looked at it as a house show and nothing more so didn’t exactly turn up with the work boots on.

Final Score:  3.5   [ Bad ]