wrestling / Columns

The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report: 04.08.09

April 8, 2009 | Posted by Steve Sullivan

As I continue to read people’s thoughts and the results that came from Wrestlemania 25 last Sunday, the more so I became glad that I did not spend the money on the show for the 2nd year in a row.

I’ll repeat that for those who may not be paying attention, I did not SEE Wrestlemania 25. I read about it, but I didn’t see it. So if I’m wrong about something, here’s your list of people you should blame, in this order:

The people who wrote the recaps I read
George W. Bush
AIG
Mrs. Kirk, my 1st grade reading teacher
John Cena
Me

Anyway, if you’re looking for my opinion about Wrestlemania 25, it’s skewed, but I can safely say, the more I recaps I read, the more I believe that the show really disappointed and that there was only one good match on the entire card, which was to be expected (Taker vs. HBK). The WWE really dropped the ball it seems for a Wrestlemania that should have been very memorable for wrestling fans. They certainly do themselves any favors in getting wrestling fans back in front of their TV’s.

Anyways, it’s draft time! And I’ve got an opinion! Cue Banner!

News: The WWE draft will take place next Monday.

The WWE draft is always fun to predict and watch. Which is exactly what I’m about to do now. I’ll go ahead and pick a few people who I think SHOULD switch brands next Monday.

From Raw To Smackdown

Chris Jericho- Jericho has done it all on Raw and then some. Apparently, he did so much in 2008 that they couldn’t find an opponent for him that hadn’t been done yet, so they put him up against some Legends. I think a change of scenery and a fresh rivalry with the likes of guys like Triple H, Mr. Kennedy, Jeff Hardy and C.M. Punk (see below) would be beneficial for the WWE and Jericho.

C.M. Punk– Mr. Money In The Bank X 2 could also benefit from some fresh scenery, and Smackdown could really use a fresh face. Although out of all the names you are going to read today, this is the one that would seem least likely. I’d love to see Punk and Cena get into a World Title feud. If that were to happen, I think the IWC would IMPLODE! And the way Punk kept looking at Cena’s belt last night…at least, I hope that’s what “Mr. I Have Sexy Back On My Ipod” was looking at.

Kofi Kingston– Kingston came over to Raw from ECW last year and it seemed like the WWE had some big plans for him. And it seems like they still do, but I just don’t’ see a lot of guys that Kofi could get over with on Raw right now. If he were to move over to Smackdown, he could get involved in a solid midcard program with MVP (if he returns to being a heel), or Shelton Benjamin (if Shelton doesn’t get drafted too). Or he could even step it up a notch and face off with Jericho again as he did when he won the IC title last year.

Micki James– Micki’s character on Raw has become stale. We don’t even always see her on Raw anymore. She usually shows up in some kind of tag team role which never makes a difference either way. A switch to Raw opens up a lot of possibilities for the Divas title and a lot of matches and programs we haven’t seen before or for awhile like James vs. Gail Kim or James vs. McCool. Smackdown needs a good baby face women’s wrestler and James could be that staple.

Kelly Kelly– Now that Kelly Kelly will never be naked in Playboy for the WWE, her push is pretty much over and she’s just another pretty face. Kelly Kelly will never be a dominant women’s champion. She’s a diva through and through and if the WWE still wants to push her, then she’s going to have to be on Smackdown.

From Raw To ECW

Cryme Tyme- I read something earlier that welcomed Carlito and Primo to ECW along with Miz and Morrison. Now that the tag titles are unified, and the only two teams worth caring about are on the same brand, it would make sense that teams that are true “tag teams” would follow to ECW where they could challenge for the tag titles. Shad and JTG have always been big fan favorites and I hope at some point, they can actually hold gold, rather than steal it.

William Regal– The 2008 King Of The Ring is seemingly nothing more than an afterthought on screen anymore. So move him over to ECW where he can help work with the faces while Finlay helps working with the heels. And maybe he’ll convince Paul Birchall to be a pirate again.

From ECW To Raw

Christian- I was almost POSITIVE Christian would win that MITB match and so I must eat some crow. Of course, I didn’t watch Wrestlemania this year but from all accounts that I’ve read and talking to people who were there, the loudest pop in the match came when Christian nearly grabbed the briefcase. I’m still standing strong that Christian WILL get past the mid card and in order for that to happen, he needs to get into a big time feud with the likes of Cena, Triple H, or better yet, Edge. Plus, the more exposure he gets, the better. So move him to Raw.

From ECW To Smackdown

Mark Henry- The big man has been surprisingly good for the last year and what’s more surprising is that he’s still healthy after a fairly successful push. But I think we can safely say that Mark Henry’s World Title days are numbered. His ECW dominance has all but ended and Smackdown should be his next stop where he can feud with the strong Smackdown midcard guys and help them get over.

From Smackdown to Raw

The Undertaker– It’s been a LONG time since Taker was on Raw. He’s been on Smackdown for so long, there’s not much left to do. I understand that since Smackdown is pre-recorded, it’s easy to go back and add all the visual effects that The Undertaker needs for some of his promos, but I think he would be a lot more effective on Raw, even if we have to sacrifice those cool effects.

Shelton Benjamin– Shelton in the last year has really improved and I think his 200+ US Title reign (even if he didn’t always defend it) may have put him over just a nudge to the point that he could get over on Raw in a feud with Rey Mysterio over the Intercontinental title. I have to say, that’d be a pretty impressive match with two athletic, agile guys.

Vladimir Kozlov– Vladimir Kozlov is probably about to have what I will call “The Umaga Effect”. He, like Umaga, had an impressive undefeated streak. Now that he’s lost, he will continue to lose. The WWE will probably try to push Kozlov over to Raw and re-invent his character by having him win a few squash matches.

Maryse– Maryse has really improved in ring and is HOT to boot. Taking the title off Maryse and putting her on Raw and in the mix with all the other WWE Raw Divas seems smart and freshens up the Raw women’s roster. I think we’re safe to believe that Jillian Hall and Layla probably won’t be legitimate contenders anytime soon. So why not push someone fresh?

From Smackdown To ECW

R-Truth- Because MyNetworkTV has a quota on how many times someone can say “What’s Up?”. Actually, I think R-Truth would benefit more on ECW where he could chase the ECW title at some point. He seemed to drop off the chart right before Wrestlemania, despite being on the poster, and this would be a good chance for the WWE to start over again.

Jesse & Festus- For the same reason that Cryme Tyme will move to ECW. It looks like ECW is about to become your official home for tag team wrestling.

Some of these guys, like C.M. Punk and The Undertaker are long shots. It seemed too obvious that Triple H and Edge would leave Smackdown to come to Raw so that Orton could and Trips could continue their program while Edge moves to be with Vicky. But I’m hoping that maybe, just maybe, the draft won’t be as predictable as Wrestlemania 25 was.

News: Batista made a surprise return on Raw.

Happy: Wow! That was fast! Wasn’t he supposed to be out until around Summerslam or something like that? Regardless, the WWE needed Big Dave back. And I don’t care what your opinion of the guy is, he’s a big face that could eventually turn into an even bigger heel if need be and Raw needed him.

I can also say that without Batista’s surprise return last night, we were destined for an even more pitiful end to Raw than what we apparently got at Wrestlemania. The whole idea of Vince, Shane, and Triple H wrestling together at Backlash made me sick to my stomach.

The idea that the WWE should run with for Batista is to have him on Triple H’s side for the next couple of weeks, but eventually have him turn on him (even though Orton did put Batista out for awhile). Just like Randy Orton, Triple H eventually turned on Batista and the history for a feud has already written itself. Orton, Batista, Rhodes, & Dibiase would be a VERY powerful faction and would certainly shake up the landscape just a bit.

Go Sucky: If Batista was allowed to return on Raw, then why the hell couldn’t they have just did it a day before at Wrestlemania? That might have actually made the end of Wrestlemania seem “better”.

My guess here goes back to my thought before of having Batista turn heel. Having Batista return at Wrestlemania to cost Orton the match and the title wouldn’t have made sense if the WWE is planning on turning Batista heel at Backlash.

Other than that, I can only argue, and not even really argue but worry about whether or not Batista had enough time to heal after such a nasty injury. It wouldn’t be the first time someone came back too soon from a major surgery.

News: C.M. Punk won the Money In The Bank Ladder match for the 2nd year in a row.

Happy: I guess the WWE is a proponent of the idea “If at first you don’t succeed..”. Time for me to eat some more crow because I almost ignored the fact that C.M. Punk was even in this match, much less would he win it. Someone a couple of weeks ago during Fact or Fiction pointed out that I didn’t even mention him, and that’s because I didn’t think there was any way in hell that the WWE would let someone win back to back Money In The Bank Matches. So good for C.M. Punk.

The WWE kind of dropped the ball on Punk during 2008. He won the title the week after last year’s draft, and never actually lost it, yet never got another chance to chase after it. Instead, he decided he wanted the tag titles. Then he wanted to be IC champ. Punk’s character seems like a kid with bad A.D.D.

So now, the WWE gets a second chance at pushing Punk and hopefully this time, they will push him to greater levels. In order to do that, Punk needs to win the title similar to the way that Rob Van Dam won the title when he cashed in the briefcase. He challenged Cena ahead of time and won it.

Unfortunately, RVD winning the title was just a one shot deal….

This time, Punk needs to cash in similar to RVD. Have Punk challenge John Cena. He doesn’t even necessarily have to win the first time around. But I think this is a match that NEEDS to happen in 2009. Punk and Cena’s personalities couldn’t be more different and the promo work pretty much writes itself.

The WWE missed a lot of chances for Punk this year. Having him involved in a match outside the Money In The Bank Ladder match may have added an extra star of quality to the overall reception of the show.

Go Sucky: I think the WWE really wasted its chance to push Christian to the moon. Yes, I’m biased because I’m a Peep. But the fan base is there for Christian, all he needs is the push.

Punk could have got involved in a program with any world champion right now and still be over. Only this time, instead of letting him be the Flavor of the Month, have him get involved with ANOTHER main eventer. When Punk was champ, I think the only program he was involved with was JBL. And that was more than forgettable.

With Punk already over, adding someone else into the mix like MVP or Christian, who can’t seem to get over the midcard hump, would have helped the main event for both Raw and Smackdown and really freshened up a moldy, stale line of stories that have been lingering around since 2002.

News: JBL has retired from the WWE, stating that he will not be replacing Tazz on his WWE Universe blog.

Happy: JBL probably really had no business coming back to wrestling in the first place to be honest. In the year that he returned to the ring, he accomplished, well, pretty much nothing. He was a has been, former main eventer jobbed out to up and comers only to have those up and comers eventually job to other up and comers. Did you catch all that?

The fact of the matter is that JBL wore out his welcome. He should have stayed in the booth. And now that he has stated that he won’t be replacing Tazz on Smackdown, which means he’s pretty much done all together or will be relegated to making the occasional “Legends” appearance.

One interesting idea this does arise for wrestling goes back to a few weeks ago when JBL invested in Ohio Valley Wrestling. JBL mentioned that once his in ring career was over, he wouldn’t be opposed to replacing Danny Davis as the owner of OVW while letting Danny run day to day operations.

There have also been mentions that JBL, and other WWE personnel, would like to see the WWE go back to the multiple developmental territory system and re-instate OVW as a developmental league.

So I have to say from a personal standpoint, it makes me excited that his in ring career ended so soon after saying that. It seems to me that maybe JBL is ready to run his own show while continuing to work on Layfield Energies.

Go Sucky: I always hate to see guys leave the business. The timing was perfect for JBL to take over as the color commentator again alongside JR, and he’s turned it down. Which I have to say, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as listening to JBL kiss up to JR whereas when he was on Smackdown, he had Michael Cole to pick on.

Overall, JBL’s retirement could have a big impact on the future of the WWE. It’s up to him as to whether or not he wants to continue in the business, or move on to something else.

Rapid Fire!

News: Raw scored a 3.9 cable rating.

Well, there’s always Wrestlemania 26….

News: Mr. Kennedy is being advertised for a house show in Tennessee in May, making it appear that he is ready to return to the ring soon.

He’ll be in a match that involves the United States title, so I think it’s safe to assume he’ll be back on Smackdown. Then again, don’t be surprised if he’s a surprise on draft day on Monday.

News: Direct TV says that the debut of WWE Superstars will be former WWE announcer Kevin Kelly.

We can all take a deep breath. At least it’s not Mike Adamle!

News: Jimmy Snuka made history at Wrestlemania, becoming the oldest person to work in Wrestlemania history.

Maybe the WWE should look into getting Depends adult diapers to sponsor segments featuring Legends of the past. I can hear the big deep voice guy now…”And now, your Depends Adult Diapers, Legend of the week!” But I digress…

News: WWE’s Extreme Rules PPV (formerly One Night Stand) may have to change arenas if the New Orleans Hornets make the NBA playoffs.

Could be worse. Could have been another dog show.

News: The WWE Allied Powers: The World’s Greatest Tag Teams will be released on July 14th.

I wonder if the Spirit Squad will be listed….

News: Debra Marshall is currently working on a “Debra to TNA Fan Movement”, with the hopes of TNA hiring her.

Did someone tell Debra that TNA stands for Total Non Stop Action? Not Ti…never mind.

And on that note, I bid you so long! Until next week, may your lives be Happy…or Go Sucky!

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Steve Sullivan

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