Total Nonstop Deletion: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Hi, I’m Justin Watry. You may remember me from such classic columns as March 2012’s “WWE WrestleMania 28: Sheamus Should Defeat Daniel Bryan in Less Than a Minute” and October 2015’s “WWE NXT: Bobby Roode, You’re Next.”

12 Days of Wrestle-mas

Lame name aside, I have decided to join in the holiday spirit and write 12 columns in 12 days in the leadup to Christmas Eve. A tall task indeed. However, if anybody can do it, I am the man for the job. This is being done for two reasons. First is to spread the word about my Twitter giveaway, which has been ongoing since the summer (details at the bottom of the page). It needs a kick in the pants so to speak. Hopefully, this will help. Selfishness aside, it is also being done to promote the Love-Alive charity that I recently donated to. Any amount, big or small, is more than welcome. Even just $1 can go a long ways.

Please check out all the information here: http://love-alive.org/

Now to the column…

Yep, the title has not deceived you. Nor has the author to this delightful masterpiece. For the first time in months (since the last Hardyz adventure?), I watched a full episode of TNA Impact Wrestling. Only my third or fourth all year. Since I don’t have cable, I have to thank POP TV for uploading the full episode on their website. What were my thoughts? Let’s break it down with the classic Good, Bad, and Ugly format…

GOOD

I Watched – Look, I am not a fan of TNA. We know that. The talent as awesome. I always tell them to run and head to WWE. Most have finally done that. Others either hang around due to loyalty or because they have no other option. Still, the company is alive and moving heading into 2017 and NOT going out of business (something I predicted during the recent ownership mess). Even with all their problems, I watched a full episode. That says a lot. Like, A LOT! For me to sit down and devote the time to this company, you can give props to the Hardyz for that. Love the concept or hate the concept, I watched.

Main Event Match – It is quite the struggle to even call this a ‘match.’ More on that later though. For what the spectacle was and being a very, very, very casual fan of their product, the time didn’t drag too much (unlike Rogue One) and was fine for what their universe pretends to be. I had a ton of issues with the talent used and overall philosophy, which we will get into below. In a box and ignoring everything else, it was perfectly acceptable as a payoff to the evening.

Reby Sky Is Pregnant – Congrats to Reby Sky. Congrats to Matt Hardy. Awesome that she (and him) got to reveal the baby news on their own. I always feel a tad uneasy when it gets reported a female is pregnant or even blind speculation over the past few years (AJ Lee, Stephanie McMahon) that get copied and pasted around the internet. Beyond irresponsible and honestly, flat out rude and unethical. Even when initial reports had Kharma being out ‘nine months’ with no other details – that was pushing the limits for my taste of journalism. Let the future mother announce the news to the world. That is their news to share, nobody else’s. Reby was able to do that. Very cool moment.

News Broadcast – Alright, I laughed. Clever. It pays to have friends in high places.

THE DRONE! – This is actually something I’d love to see WWE try out. Not necessarily the Vanguard 1 gimmick. I mean the camera angles and wide-shots. In TNA, it is basically pointless with no arena or fans to show. In the WWE world, some different camera views would be awesome to see.

ODB – You know what I thought when ODB came out to wrestle Sienna? TNA Impact Wrestling. That’s what I thought. ODB, despite stale act and iffy in-ring bouts, she represented the company of old and when it was actually something worth discussing. It is night and day to 2016 and even just a few years ago, much less a decade ago. Nice to see ODB again.

King Maxel – Honestly, I have this listed under the GOOD section, but ignore that. Batista is right. This is beyond ridiculous. On a show where the shark has been jumped about a thousand times since 2002, all Maxel’s match does is add another chapter to the eventual Fall and Fall of TNA DVD. Since he is a kid and has no say in his father dragging him onto worldwide television and being totally oblivious to his surroundings, I will leave this in the GOOD section and be nice. Oh, and Rockstar Spud is a lower card comedy bum. Thanks for reminding us of this; we already knew.

TNA Championship – Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley was okay. Nothing epic or stand out. A nice piece to the puzzle of a show filled with nonsense. Good change of pace to switch it up for a bit. I disagree with Edwards as champ; this was an adequate and unique finish for me. Lashley was the destroyer (but didn’t win), and the brawl just kept going and going and going all over the yard.

The Greatest Neightbors Ever – Yeah, their house is secluded from the area a little. Still, can you imagine being a neighbor and driving by the house? Haha.

BAD

Itchweeed – Newsflash people, the word weeed is not there because of the weedwhacker. Like the Willow nonsense, it is an absolute waste of everybody’s time to have Jeff Hardy on your roster and not allow him to be Jeff FREAKIN’ Hardy. Unreal. I know, I know. Artistic and creative freedom. Wonderful! Not. Jeff Hardy needs to be Jeff Hardy. Nobody cares about his other personas. Sorry, that’s the truth.

Note: Itchweeed falling asleep while applying a Sleeperhold was funny. Props to that at least.

Opening Segment – Didn’t care for it. Just the first of many television appearances for the Hardy clan over the evening. Yes, their special presentation and on their property. Obviously, they’d be the focus. However, the opening talk-fest felt like a waste of time…on a night where a lot of time was wasted.

Hornswoggle – Confession: I actually did not mind Hornswoggle in WWE that much. There were times when he was overused and took up too much time on Raw; I admit that. For the most part though, he was there for laughs and barely even used. For the 27,393 hours of WWE TV each week, it hurts nobody to have him on for five minutes…well, except Chavo Guerrero. With the compliment out the way, TNA should know better. Their audience is not going to enjoy his act much less even a cameo. It was fun to see Spud get humiliated again, but no TNA. No. Please no.

Cameos – For the most part, I love cameos. One-off appearances are usually pretty funny and are memorable. Disco Inferno? Animal? Hornswoggle? I know linking up with TNA in 2016 is a terrible, terrible business decision for talent, but that is what we got? Ouch.

The Rock & Roll Express – Seriously? Do I even need to discuss this? What I just watched in 2016 is truly remarkable.

Shane Helms – Like Hornswoggle, I actually enjoyed Shane Helms in WWE for the majority of his run. He had a quiet decent run on Smackdown after dropping The Hurricane persona. Plus, the guy has quite catchy theme music as a superhero. Unfortunately, it is December 2016, and he is all but retired. Outside of being buddies with the Hardy clan, why is he getting all this TV time? Please, feel free to answer that one question without mentioning North Carolina and his friends bringing him into TNA. I will wait.

Triple H/Politics Joke – Yes, Shane Helms made a joke about politics. The irony is real. If I need to explan, read the above paragraph. Also baffling Matt Hardy headlining a promotion entering 2017…he is taking a shot at Triple H for backstage politics. Unreal. I have to assume these two were aware of the ironic nature probably not. Whether it was Hardy or TNA, no more WWE jabs. We are so far past that. Pointless, petty, and makes YOU look bad. Not the billion dollar company.

Jeremy Borash – Go back and read his interviews building this show up. Go back and read them. I will give you a few minutes. Can we officially stop posting “news” as anything he ever says? Ever. Again. He (and Bob Ryder) embarrassed himself back in 2001 denying WCW’s problems and ripping anybody who cared to question him. Now he is doing the same for TNA and is so over the top with his hype it is shocking to me he still is deemed credible in any way. Again, the hyperbole used is normal for wrestling…but then there is just blabbing to blab and making false advertising statements. Why set everybody up for a letdown, promising something you know you can NOT deliver? That does not help you, as seen by viewership. The only thing you are doing is setting the bar too high and guaranteeing disappointed fans. No, The New Day were never going to appear. No, The Young Bucks weren’t wrestling. No, The Rock and Mick Foley weren’t showing up. Any logical fan knew none of them would associate with TNA in any way. Matt Hardy practically begging for attention Monday on Twitter night was sad. All for a bunch of unknown independent teams (and DCC and The Decay) to show up and get pinned in two minutes. TNA seems to never learn that hype can be both good and bad. They just tend to always go so far in one direction it never pays off. JB, the ultimate company guy to a fault.

Viewership – The shine is off folks. In small doses, this stuff works. After getting a few sequels and overused gimmicks, it wears thin. The novelty is just about gone. You can only go to the well some many times before it runs dry. Ratings and viewership did not ‘pop’ for this even with a weak NFL game on and the ridiculous hyperbole hype from within TNA. An episode just two weeks drew more viewers. So much for this awesome, amazing way to end the year for TNA…

UGLY

Everything – Okay, stay with me here.

As Batista (and others) pointed out, we are officially beyond the point of no return. In the BROKEN universe, this ludicrous garbage makes sense. For the twisted world used at the Hardy Compound, logic is clearly thrown out the window, and there are no rules. We see that. We get that. We are all well aware going in that ‘wrestling’ is not important and things will get wacky and over the top. We get that.

My only fear is where does it end?

This was basically a two hour circle jerk for the Hardyz to do what they wanted, how they wanted, when they wanted, and racked up any budget they wanted on a show filmed at their house. That is what this was. Wife, father-in-law, kid, friends, house, ideas, etc. Talk about creative control and being the latest influence at TNA in the boss’s ear.

Now, word has it there will be Holiday Special Best Of Shows for TNA through the rest of the year, featuring more Hardy Fun! First off, I said months ago TNA would do this for the holidays and milk the cow dry on the BROKEN story line. Second of all, what is next? Where do you go from here? An entire show with zero matches and zero in-ring segments? I say that only half-jokingly.

Really, what is next? We already got a full two hour show devoted to them. A full hour each week of their shenanigans in the backyard? A Reby Sky and Matt Hardy reality show in between commercial breaks? More tag team title wins they don’t need? Another main event TNA Championship feud? Heck, just rename TNA “HNA” for awhile. May as well.

As noted before, The BROKEN World in small doses is one thing. A full show devoted to Shane Helms transforming and flying (yes, flying), slow motion live action shots, a talking drone as a referee, a kid winning a match, randomly being on top of a cherry picker fighting, and guys beating up a freakin’ dilapidated boat is another.

There is a fine line between brilliance and insanity, right? Well, TNA may have crossed the line years ago, but the Hardyz sped passed it in 2016 and haven’t looked back since.

Good, bad, or ugly? You tell me…

Finals Plugs

Follow @JustinWatry on Twitter. When I reach 1,000 followers, a $25 WWEShop gift card will be given away at random!

To donate, click here: http://love-alive.org/

Email [email protected] for feedback.

Thanks.