Universal Wrestling Federation (8.23.1986) Review

-Originally aired August 23, 1986.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross & Michael Hayes.

-We actually pick up where we left off last week and see the finish of the Gordy vs. Duggan main event. Buddy Roberts runs in for a cheapo DQ, but a masked man who appears to be Ted DiBiase runs in for the rescue. And that’s a problem since DiBiase was one of the guys who was ordered to exit the building before the match started, and Michael Hayes makes a case that DiBiase should be suspended if it really was him under the mask.

-The Freebirds head to the ring and demands Ken Mantell come face them. Mantell obliges and tells the group that the UWF way overpaid for the Freebirds’ contract, but the thing is, it’s a contract, which means that the Freebirds have things that they’re required by contract to do. Michael Hayes has commentary in his contract, so Mantell ends the segment right there and tells him to take his ass back to the commentary table.

JUMPIN’ JOE SAVOLDI vs. GUSTAVO MENDOZA
-Salvoldi avoids some of Mendoza’s tactics by jumping, so the nickname checks out. Mendoza decides to try jumping for himself and connects with an enziguiri, but Savoldi jumps up and rolls Mendoza for a two-count. Quick time-out while Michael Hayes calls attention to the fact that he’s an active wrestler who also does commentary for wrestling, so if you happen to watch another wrestling show in the next few weeks and you notice an active wrestler on commentary, remember that they’re ripping off the UWF.

-Savoldi gets the pin with a, uh, Savoldisteiner, I guess, but it doesn’t have the same impact.

SAVANNAH JACK (with Skandar Akbar & One Man Gang) vs. KEN MASSEY
-Akbar’s new charge makes his debut, with Hayes saying that Jack is a replacement now that Akbar has “gotten rid of Kamala” and that he decided he’d rather have a tough wrestler instead.

-Flying tackle by Jack, followed by a big dropkick. Superkick by Jack gets the win.

-Skandar Akbar grabs the mic and challenges Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Ted DiBiase, Dr. Death, AND the Fabulous Freebirds to show some guts and sign matches against his men.

-Jim Ross says “Here’s a very special announcement for non-profit groups and organizations.” And we go to a commercial that starts with Jim Ross saying “Attention, non-profit groups and organizations!” It’s just…remember that episode of King of the Hill where the bounty hunter says “We don’t have a lot of time, so let’s get started…” and he presses play on a videotape that starts with the bounty hunter saying “We don’t have a lot of time, so let’s get started”? You remember that? Exactly the same thing.

FABULOUS FREEBIRDS vs. GARY YOUNG & BRETT WAYNE SAWYER
-Hayes remains on commentary while Buddy Roberts & Terry Gordy step in the ring for this one.

-Shoulderblock and a boot by Gordy, followed by a snap suplex. Clothesline and a kneedrop by Gordy, and all of it just looks brutal and painful and I get why Watts wanted his title belt on this guy.

-Young throws forearms, but Gordy backs him into the corner and Roberts grabs Young by the tights so he gets trapped and Gordy takes some free shots. Gordy sets up for the potentially lethal Bam-Bam slam, which would end Young’s career…but in come Ted DiBiase and DOCTOR DEATH, awwww shit, and DiBiase & Williams just annihilate Gordy & Roberts. They drag Gordy to the concrete floor and appear to be setting up for a spike piledriver, so Hayes freaks out and hurries to ringside to stop that, but DiBiase & Williams are so full of piss and vinegar that they just fight all three Freebirds until they run off in a panic.

-Jim Ross is at a restaurant, where Hollywood John Tatum and Missy Hyatt have promised to answer all of his questions about the business arrangement between Missy and Eddie. Tatum reiterates that Eddie & Missy are only business partners, and it only happened because Eddie needs the money. Missy shows up two hours late and seemingly instinctively blurts out “I didn’t do anything” the moment that John says hello to her, and then Eddie gets out of the limo behind her. Tatum shoos both of them into the limo and shuts the door, leaving Jim Ross out, and JR surmises that Tatum probably doesn’t want to have this conversation in public.

-Hacksaw Jim Duggan takes over commentary, wearing a white tuxedo to refute Hayes’ claims that Hacksaw has no class.

TAG TEAM TITLE: EDDIE GILBERT & STING (Champions, with Missy Hyatt) vs. THE FANTASTICS
-Eddie noticeably has a chat with his dad Tommy, who’s the referee for this match.

-Fantastics knock Eddie around as Jim Ross points out that John Tatum didn’t even bother coming out for this match. Bobby Fulton shoulderblocks Eddie down, and he’s had enough, so in comes Sting. Commentators marvel at how dramatically Sting has improved in six months, and Rogers immediately tags in and dropkicks him for a near-fall.

-Fantastics double-team Sting and we pause for a break. When we come back, Gilbert is working Bobby Fulton’s arm as John Tatum suddenly shows up. Sting tags back in meanwhile, and the champs use a little chicanery to keep his father from seeing an attempted tag. JR is quick to note that it isn’t Tommy Gilbert’s fault that happened and he’s NOT helping his son.

-Tommy Gilbert keeps missing tags by the Fantastics, and Rogers finally gets fed up and just dropkicks the champs. All four men brawl in the ring briefly. Rogers & Sting end up on the floor, where Carl Fergie tries to break it up, while Fulton & Gilbert remain in the ring. Eddie goes into the tights and pulls out a weapon. Tommy snatches the weapon away from his son (yay!) but gets distracted by Missy Hyatt and misses a roll-up by Rogers (boo!) and John Tatum runs in and blinds Bobby Fulton with a handful of powder, allowing Eddie to get a win, and Tommy Gilbert’s officiating looks really suspicious now.

-PLOT TWIST: We return from commercial with Tommy Gilbert coming to the commentary area. There’s a suspicious amount of powder all over the ring and all over Bobby Fulton’s face. Tommy says he didn’t see anything, but the evidence makes him suspicious enough that he’s voiding his own ruling and holding up the belts, and he’s going to the higher-ups at the UWF to figure out what to do next.

7.3

The final score: review Good

The 411

Declaring that having a wrestler on commentary for a wrestling show is your own unique idea is certainly a new frontier in hot takes, I'll give the UWF that much.