wrestling / Video Reviews
USWA Championship Wrestling (11.17.1990) Review
Loading...-Originally aired November 17, 1990.
-Your host is Dave Brown.
#10. Terry Gordy
#9. Paul Orndorff
#8. Dick Slater
#7. Dick Murdoch
#6. Ricky Steamboat
#5. Bam-Bam Bigelow
#4. Steve Williams
#3. Jeff Jarrett
#2. Jerry Lawler
#1. Eddie Gilbert
-Hold the hell on, how is the reigning champion the number-two contender? And then Dave Brown just casually wraps up the segment with “And by the way, Terry Funk is the new champion, we’ll be back!” WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ANNOUNCEMENT IS THAT?
-Downtown Bruno is here wearing a toupee and bragging about how fast his hair grew back after losing a hair vs. hair match.
TAG TEAM TITLE: DIRTY WHITE BOY & DOUG GILBERT (Champions, with Sam Bass) vs. BILL & JAMIE DUNDEE
-Bruno sticks around to do guest commentary. Jamie gets off to a hot start with dropkicks as Dave Brown curiously asks where Dirty White Girl is. Bruno has a theory but he’s evasive about it, so Sam Bass goes to the table and simply says she’s going through some intense training.
-Jamie sticks with the dropkicks because they’re working for him, and then he tags in dear old dad, who armdrags DWB. Gilbert tags in and ends up in a side headlock. Gilbert throws a sinister punch to escape and baseball slides Bill out to the floor. DWB rams him into the post and the alert cameraman makes sure to get the shot of Bill blading himself.
-So indeed, Bill is bleeding as he goes back into the ring and Gilbert targets the wound with knees and punches. Bill hangs in there and pretty much makes his own save, fighting off both opponents and rolling up DWB for the pin, but the referee gets distracted and Tojo Yamomoto hauls ass down to the ring, throws salt in Bill’s face, and books it out of there. DWB is blinded and literally has salt in his wound, and DWB gets the winning pin. Pretty good TV match.
-Michael St. John in the Event Center rattles off some matches for upcoming house shows, including a Catfight Boxing match, or as Michael mispronounces it, “A catbox.” Educated guess is there wasn’t really a need to correct himself in that situation.
-The Dundees are here now that Bill is all bandaged up. He warns the Gilberts that he knows where they live. “And I live at 413 Brookridge Drive! Just come on over, we’ll be waiting for you!” Google Earth suggests that Bill has a pretty nice house if it’s still him there.
-Oh, as Dave mentioned, Terry Funk is the new champ and we’re finally touching on that. We go to Mid-South Coliseum, where Lawler drives a fist into Terry Funk’s skull from the second rope, not once, not twice, but thrice! It’s not enough to put him away though, and Funk quickly shoves Lawler into the referee to knock the referee out to the floor. Seconds later, Lawler hits the piledriver, but there’s no ref. There is however, a member of the Gilbert family with a chain. Eddie misses the mark when he interferes but Lawler acts quickly and knockms him out to the floor without Eddie ever getting a chance to use his weapon.
-Referee is still in a coma, so Lawler just goes ahead and kicks Eddie Gilbert’s ass some more until Eddie Marlin comes out to drag him away. BUT WAIT! Terry Funk got his hands on Gilbert’s chain at some point during the beating, and he knocks the king cold to dethrone him and take the Unified Title.
-The Dirty White contingent is here to introduce “Sugar Ray Dirty White,” Dirty White Girl in a robe and boxing gloves promises a first-round knockout in her catbox against Sweet Georgia Brown.
NIGHTMARE DANNY DAVIS (Jr. Heavyweight Champion) vs. QUASAR (with Boss Winters)
-They call him Twilight Zone #1 but they have names, dammit.
-Davis armdrags Nebula around. Nebula fights back with punches and Dave reacts to it like a disappointed father, telling Boss Winters “You should be teaching him NOT to do that!”
-Davis with a suplex as Boss Winters starts an argument with the referee. Davis runs over to knock him off the apron while Quasar runs in to switch with his partner, which is ridiculous because they wear different colored gear. Ain’t no thing for Danny Davis, as he just hits a neckbreaker and gets three on the wrong man to win.
-Post-match, Joey Maggs comes to the ring and cheerfully asks Joey Maggs for a match, just looking for a chance to prove himself. Danny accepts, and they shake hands and part ways until next week.
JOEY MAGGS vs. FREEZER THOMPSON
-Slam by Freezer. Joey fights it off with an elbow, and Dave is talking like an elbow to escape the hold is something sinister. and then Joey rather suspiciously knocks Freezer out cold with a single punch and pins him immediately.
-Danny Davis hits the ring and Danny’s calling out his own protege for the tainted win, even pointing out that he held the tights during his winning pin. And then the obvious happens, as Joey Maggs attacks Danny and declares himself the next Jr. Heavyweight Champ.
-Jeff Jarrett demands a match with Eddie Gilbert to finally just END this feud once and for all in a Coward Waves the Flag Match. And Eddie Marlin has already pledged his service as Jeff Jarrett’s cornerman for the match. And Sam Bass will be Eddie Gilbert’s cornerman. Eddie Marlin cuts an emotional promo about how Jarrett asked him for a promise never to wave the flag, and says that he’s a man of his word and he hopes Jarrett understands the consequences of getting a promise not to wave the flag.
-Eddie Gilbert gleefully accepts, on the grounds that he challenged Jeff to a “first guy to throw a punch loses” match a few weeks ago and Jeff screwed it up immediately.
-We’re here with the Brown family: Brickhouse and his sister Sweet Georgia. Sweet Georgia says she learned how to fight as a teenager when guys tried to have their way with her, so scrawny little Dirty White Girl isn’t anything for her to lose sleep over.
BRICKHOUSE BROWN (with Sweet Georgia Brown) vs. SHEIK FABIANO (with Downtown Bruno)
-Attempted clothesline over the top rope goes not-very-well for anybody involved. Fabiano throws punches, but Brickhouse just calmly bulldogs him. Diving headbutt, and Brickhouse just dashes over to punch Bruno while he has a second. Dirty White Boy runs to the ring and attacks Georgia at ringside, and Big Brother chases him out of the building, getting himself counted out. The Dundees and Danny Davis run out to check on Georgia’s condition, and Jamie’s wardrobe reminds us that the current year is Nineteen Ninety-Zubaz.
-Downtown Bruno challenges the Dundees to a Loser Leaves for One Year match. And that’s it! And I mean that, as far as Amazon is concerned, we’re done with 1990!
