Watry’s WrestleMania 34 Review: Ronda Freakin’ Rousey

“As I have been writing about for awhile now (on another website), I am ALL IN on Rousey to WWE.”

– Justin Watry, January 2018

“Rousey is not only a main event act on any stage; she is THE main event on THE stage. Yes, I am talking about WrestleMania. The biggest stage of them all. Mark it down folks. Put it in black ink. It’s happening.”

– Justin Watry, February 2018

” Ronda Rousey has the perfect entrance theme, the ‘it factors’ you can’t teach, mainstream appeal, wrestling fandom as a kid, ability to draw, willingness to learn, great attitude and best of all – is going to rip the arm out of Stephanie McMahon’s socket! What’s the problem here exactly?”

– Justin Watry, March 2018

Backstory

Like many, I am exhausted from WrestleMania Weekend. After another stellar NXT Takeover event and a seven hour show on Sunday, I needed to take a breather. I wasn’t on Twitter on Sunday or Monday and am just now (Tuesday morning) getting around to process everything. While the wrestling world was tweeting and sharing their opinions, I stayed quiet. In a lot of ways, I’m ‘breaking my silence’ for everybody waiting for my WM thoughts. Short version is I liked it but didn’t love it and would rank the PPV in the middle of the WM pack. Long version? Well, ask and you shall receive! Let’s do this…

WrestleMania 34 Review

NOTE: I am going to do this is in order of my enjoyment level. Ranked worst to first.

14. The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers – A big swing and a miss. Admittedly, this got some bad card placement and was doomed to fail from the start. Still, I didn’t care for the triple threat set up leading to Mania, and it never won me over. The New Day had yet another lame entrance. The Usos getting their deserved moment was tossed in the trash for The Bludgeon Brothers winning the titles. Fine. They are the dominant duo and didn’t technically defeat the champs. Rematch at Backlash? Yawn. Not doing it for me.

13. Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal – Wow, reports were true. Bill Goldberg entered and won to promote the upcoming HBO special! I knew that story was accurate from the get go. Riiight because THAT was going to happen. The only reason this is ranked as the second lowest is because it was the first match of the evening. If you have ever been to a live event, you know one of the biggest crowd reactions of the night is whenever the bell rings for the first time. No more talk. No more waiting. WRESTLING! Matt Hardy won thanks to Bray Wyatt. Eh, I had Mojo Rawley or Baron Corbin as a repeat winner. WWE still feels there is life to this woken/broken thing I guess. I don’t care. Nice spotlight career pat on the back victory for Matt, nothing more.

12. Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Finals – Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali did their best and had two months of hype with this entire tournament building to WM. Sadly, it was placed on the Kickoff Show as I predicted and was good…just nothing special. It sucks. I really did want them to tear the house down and showcase the division in a new light. No real complaints. Just a nice solid outing. Sweet Ali entrance though.

11. United States Fatal Four Way – This is where the column gets a little difficult. There was so much in the middle of the pay-per-view that can qualify as GOOD or maybe even GREAT but not to amazing or spectacular. The United States Title match is that exact definition. Randy Orton walked in as champion, but Jinder Mahal walked out with the strap. Ugh. Three months ago, I would have been fine with this. Heck, Mahal was my US Title tourney prediction. Not Bobby Roode. Now though? At Mania? Whatever. Rusev was just in there to take the pin fall and shut up his fad chants, so that his purpose. Certainly intrigued by where all four men end up next week…

10. RAW Womens Championship – Nia Jax won the title in a few minutes, as Alexa Bliss scrambled for any kind of defense or offense. I didn’t pick an 18 second smashing like Sheamus/Daniel Bryan in 2012, but it was always going to be a similar result. Based on crowd reactions, the Nia face turn is a success. That is cool. I have my doubts and criticism but am willing to go along for the ride. Simple, easy stuff here. Alexa enters as the weasel heel and finally gets crushed on the grand stage by her foe.

9. Womens Battle Royal – Nice to see the women get entrances, unlike the men. Well, some got entrances. Either way, this was more interesting and fun than the Andre The Giant version earlier. Nearly everybody with a brain expected this to come down to Bayley and Sasha Banks, and that is what we got. I had Sasha throwing Bayley out, but this works better. The good girl had enough of being screwed over and pounced first on The Boss to get HER moment in the sun. makes sense.

…oh wait, Naomi won. Apparently, she had not yet been eliminated. Oh my gosh. Even 36 hours later, I still can’t believe it. Naomi won last year in Orlando by dethroning Bliss for the Smackdown LIVE Womens Title. That was a genuine feel good moment. This? Puzzling to say the least. Like the rest of the division, the upcoming Superstar Shakeup is needed for Naomi.

8. Braun Strowman/Nicholas VS The Bar – In the leadup, I wrote many times (on another website) that I actually preferred Braun going at it alone. No tag team partner ever made sense. The Bar were nothing more than role players here, regardless of who was paired up with the Monster Among Men. Picking a fan made for a fancy mainstream headline but was always going to be a short one time pop. Sure enough, that’s all it was. Braun is not wasting his time in the tag scene, nor is a ten year old kid. You want a WrestleMania Moment? You got one. The Bar will bounce back. Don’t worry.

7. Universal Championship Match – Um…um…ummmmm…even after Raw, I am at a loss of words. Reportedly, Brock Lesnar has re-signed (something I am in favor of and have been all along) but is still set to drop the championship to Roman Reigns in the near future. The first part I’m okay with. Lesnar is a huge star, and there is NOBODY on the roster that brings the realism and big-time feel he does. Name anybody you want. None match up to him. As for still being pegged to drop the gold to Reigns? WHY NOT JUST DO IT AT MANIA? Even if the eventual switch still happens as 99.999% of the world suspected on Sunday, it still is silly. Mania is the time for that to happen. No April 27th at noon on the WWE Network or Extreme Rules or wherever. If there is one positive here, it is the fact that the company has (again) proven to give us a shocking finish despite all of us just *knowing* what will happen. I was stunned by the finish. If you want to see them do battle for old times sake down the road, watch WWE WrestleMania 31. Not WrestleMania 34.

6. WWE Championship – Not quite a classic, huh? Blaming the show length feels like an excuse. Plenty of things get great reactions late. Whether it is WWE or sports, going to the fatigue reason is kinda lame. I mean, I get it. I was just at a RAW taping last month. Those things are looooooooooong and can get tiresome. No doubt an extra innings game in baseball is the same. Holding your enthusiasm into the 12th or 25th inning is hard. Even if you ignore that nonsense, AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura underwhelmed. Sad to say, I had very high hopes. The ending was a mild surprise but not entirely. AJ has proven his worth over and over and all but saved the blue brand back in November. What fans will remember though is the post-match scene. Straight out of Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIX, we got the brutal attack afterwards. Shocking heel turn from Nakamura indeed. I didn’t see it coming at all. If these two do lock up again, NOW we actually can get a feud and backstory. A means to an end perhaps?

5. Daniel Bryan Returns – Screw the tag team build or the Shane McMahon injury. This was all about seeing Daniel Bryan back in a WWE ring. In New Orleans no less. At WrestleMania too! Amazing. There was reason for a swerve or silly ending. Just give us Bryan hitting his signature spots and reigning victorious. I don’t have a ton of thoughts on this. Just immensely enjoyable. Loved it.

4. IC Title Match – Excellent choice to open the pay-per-view portion of WrestleMania 34. Seth Rollins had another fiery entrance, Finn Balor had a powerful entrance, and even The Miz looked awesome walking down the ramp. Before the bell even rang, I was jacked. No Demon was disappointing but without a win, in hindsight, I was cool with the decision. The Miz holding the IC Championship for another couple of months would have been the correct call in my book but not with the Superstar Shakeup on the horizon. All three of these guys feel like a future Smackdown LIVE roster member. Seth Rollins winning fits the recent momentum he has garnered and gives him another title on his resume. Another small note: I loved that (again) the ridiculous conspiracy theory of “lose on television days before the pay-per-view means you are winning at the pay-per-view” was shot down. Why people still talk about that is beyond me. It hasn’t been a thing for years now. If you actually pay attention, standing tall to end a segment on RAW or SD Live has zero bearing on the upcoming PPV. Internet trash that is false.

3. The Undertaker VS John Cena – Walk with Elias! When he did a grand total of nothing in the earlier battle royal, I thought he might come up later. Appreciate the fake out with him coming out. As for the big John Cena/Undertaker story, it was a hit. Many questioned the promotional logic behind NOT officially announcing such a dream match. I plead guilty…but was confident WWE would pull it off. They did. Cena as a fan was fun for a little bit and was rightfully only kept to the first two matches. Then we got Taker’s ring gear from WM33 still in the ring and him rising up. Amazing throw back to last year when he supposedly retired and disappeared into the darkness. Attention to detail was superb. Once the match got underway, I mentioned that it was probably going to go two minutes. I was wrong; it was three minutes. This was always more about the story than the match. Based on what JBL tweeted out, my assumption is there is a huge behind the scenes story to this that will come out someday. For now, props to Cena and Taker. Created not just one WrestleMania Moment but many.

2. The Streak Ends – New Orleans is the place where streaks go to die. First The Undertaker in 2014 and now Asuka in 2018. You want to know a secret though? Something that has rarely been mentioned? Asuka actually lost in NXT. It’s true. In January 2016, she lost a battle royal. Not pinned or made to submit but if you want to get real technical – still a loss. Back to the match: I had said that if anybody was going to beat Asuka, it was going to be Charlotte. She had the BLUE Womens Title and was actually on Smackdown Live. She was the one with the youth and potential on her side. She was the one with the background and pedigree to legitimately beat the unbeatable. In a lot of ways, she was the Brock Lesnar from 2014. Even with that disclaimer, I would have been a fool to pick against Asuka. I also would have been a fool to think Asuka would lose her streak by tapping out clean in the middle of the ring! After a great, great, great match, that is exactly what the world saw. A huge shock. Hats off to both women. I’d love round two.

1. Ronda Rousey Shuts Up Her Critics – Ladies and gentlemen, she did it. For months, I have been writing about one topic and one topic only: Ronda Rousey. She was THE main event attraction for WrestleMania. She was THE person with the most attention and doing the most media. She was THE most talked about star in WWE. She was the reason for 2.1 million WWE Network subscribers. She was THE reason the stock is now officially over a $3 billion market cap. The last question left to be answered was if everything could be backed up in the ring.

I never doubted her and shame on all of you for doing so.

Ronda Rousey stole the show on Sunday. All due respect to Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, and Kurt Angle – this wasn’t about them. This was about Rousey showing the world what she can do in the squared circle and serving up a big dish of crow to the so called know it alls. What was predicted by many experts to be a disaster was the highlight of the event. Whoever pieced this together deserves a massive raise. If that isn’t possible, allow me to spend the rest of the column explaining why this was so perfect.

Video Package – The editing, the quotes, the images, the clips, etc. They do a spectacular job year round. I know it is hindsight but with how this was presented, it would have 100% been a better choice to close out the evening. I guarantee the live crowd would have been HOT for this as the main event.

Entrances – Triple H and Stephanie had a rockstar like introduction. One of the better HHH entrances from the past few years. Kurt Angle was back in his red, white, and blue singlet at Mania. How could you not love that? Then came out the Rowdy One. Yes sir, she was a winner the second she appeared. Everybody yapping about her makeup and clothing from her RAW appearances can go sit down in the corner. She looked like a million bucks and was in phenomenal shape. Anyone questioning her dedication to this is a clown. Rousey was ready to go.

Beginning – Once we got the staredown and flashbulbs, the great story telling continued. Not only did Steph take a cheap shot at Ronda knowing full well the referee and HHH were there to protect, she took ANOTHER cheap shot later once she started to get worried. The clock was ticking and with each passing second, the billionaire princess got more and more desperate. She did not want to get in there with the former MMA star.

Triple H/Kurt Angle History – Here is the thing. Everybody knew this stage was set for Rousey. That is why it was smart to start with HHH and Angle. They would be overshadowed later, so why not give the fans them two battling one more time right away? Seriously, let’s stop and give credit to not only Angle but HHH as well. Far too much is written about his supposed “ego” and all that junk. The man (again) lost on the biggest stage of the year and was there for only one reason – create a new professional wrestling star in Ronda Rousey. His WM win-loss record speaks for itself.

“ALL THE COPS!” – Line of the night goes to Corey Graves there. Once Rousey finally tagged, the SuperDome lost their minds. As did I. Here is the breakdown of when Ronda came in the squared circle for the first time ever…

She immediately rushed to drag Stephanie McMahon in the ring. Then she got to show off her basic learning skills by running the ropes and hitting a clothesline. In true Rousy fashion though, it was done with a bit of a twist as she rolled through it. After that was time to show off an actual wrestling move, which she did flawlessly to wow the audience once more. From there, it was time to taunt and get ‘in the zone’ for some punches. Again, to perfection as the live crowd got louder.

Rousey got in FIGHT MODE and laid in those strikes to Steph. There was no half hearted suplex to Dana Brooke or awkward slam to HHH. It was full on rights and left to the body. After soaking in the noise, she just tossed Steph across the ring – this time to show off her strength. In a small but encouraging sight, the praise does not end there as she showed her ability to improvise. After some of Steph’s hair got stuck in her hand, she used that to her advantage by adlibbing more insults.

Steph begged for mercy, but there was none coming. Rousey now had to use a potential signature maneuver that will belong to her going forward. Once again, performed without any hesitation or worry. It landed.

As the fans in New Orleans chanted “Break Her Arm,” Rousey paused a moment to build up the anticipation in getting the armbar locked up. A veteran move and something a rookie likely would have rushed to. After a cheap eye poke from the heel, we now got to see some ‘selling’ from the new wrestler…and the DDT from Stephanie looked devastating. Rousey took the fall straight to the mat with no concern for her body.

She had crossed off every single thing on the checklist and earned an A+.

Then came the modified Samoan Drop and shenanigans with Triple H. That is when the fun REALLY began! My goodness, did this match go from great to amazing in a moment.

Rousey and HHH squaring up was a ridiculously cool moment. The live crowd came unglued again, as yet another WrestleMania Moment was being created. You knew there would be limitations with the man/woman violence aspect, but these two were clever enough to make it work. The Rowdy One destroyed The Game and took him down with ease…but also picked him up with ease! Just seeing her lift Triple H over her shoulders as he screamed for help…wow.

Steph came in for her patented slap, and let me tell you why this part may have been my favorite. Ms. McMahon realized her mistake in angering Rousey and started running. The chase was on! Rousey not only caught up to her immediately but also looked like an athlete. Seriously. Think of how John Cena runs. Now go back and watch Ronda run. It was a thing of beauty. More than anything, it made you BELIEVE in her. It made you believe this girl wants to crush Stephanie McMahon. It made you believe in the product.

After another quick reversal, Rousey AGAIN showed off her willingness to get in there by taking a face first push into the ring post. This was dangerous and a huge risk. Any other normal celebrity would have put their hands up and took this spot with caution. Not Rousey. She smashed into the post with immense force; there had to be a bruise from that. I was wrapped up in this bout by then. They had me hook, line, and sinker – all thanks to Ronda Rousey doing all the little things correctly.

With her knocked out on the ringside floor, I admit it. I will confess. I thought Triple H was going beat Kurt Angle. I legitimately feared a Pedigree would take home the win next. I was that sucked in; I bit on the false finish. Luckily, Rousey showed off her great timing by saving things. Impeccable timing, breaking up the pin after the two count.

She was not done impressing yet though. As HHH looked to give her a powerbomb, we got a freakin’ hurricanrana reversal! Another arm bar…and this is where I sensed the end was near. With both heels in a submission crying out in pain, it was the picture perfect payoff. Another “This Is Awesome” chant followed, and the New Orleans crowd was dead on. This was awesome. After one more hard shot into the ringpost from Rousey, it was armbar time. Stephanie McMahon knew she was alone, and there was nothing left to do but tap out.

Ronda milked the moment one final time, and Steph went from “No!” to “Sorry!” to “AHHHHHHHHH!”

Rousey yelled “Too late!” and broke her arm for the submission win. Tears flowed like a river, as she ran to hug Kurt Angle. Bad Reputation blared over the loud speakers, but there was nothing bad about this. Every expectation was shattered, and you can’t help but be happy for not just the performer but for the human being. As I broke down here and have since January, Ronda Rousey took on the world and was determined to prove all doubters wrong. She did and then some. I wouldn’t await any apologies from her detractors, but you know this had to feel good for her. This was Ronda Rousey’s lifelong dream and against all odds, she delivered a masterpiece. What a moment for this girl. What a moment for WWE. What a moment for the fans. What a moment.

*points at the WrestleMania sign*

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