World Championship Wrestling (6.17.1989) Review

-Originally aired June 17, 1989.

-We’re on the road this week. Just up the road, really, at the Augusta Civic Center.

-Your host is Jim Ross.

DYNAMIC DUDES vs. THE RAIDER & SNAKE BROWN
-The jobbers get trash thrown at them so this is a rowdy crowd tonight. JR hypes next week’s premiere of the NWA Power Hour, a show which I never missed at this time period and I’m only just now realizing why my parents strongly encouraged their 6-year-old son to stay up after 10 pm to watch wrestling on Friday night.

-New Zealand Militia comes to ringside while JR kind of surprises me by announcing that Nikita Koloff’s wife has died, and they even put an address on the screen to send cards to Nikita. Johnny works the arm but gets punched in the throat by Raider. Brown tags in but gets caught in an arm wringer. Double dropkick by the Dudes, and the Wipeout (the double slingshot back suplex) gets three.

-JR replays a clip from his interview with Ric Flair and we re-establish that Flair has until July 1 to determine whether or not he’s forfeiting the belt or attempting a comeback.

TERRY FUNK vs. COUGAR JAY
-“Wait, what?” moment, as Gary Capetta introduces Funk “from the Double Cross Ranch in Pecos, Texas.” And Jim Ross draws attention to the mistake and corrects Capetta, saying that the Double Cross Ranch is in Canyon, Texas, not Pecos…inside joke?

-Funk dumps Cougar Jay to the floor and the fans are throwing garbage at EVERYBODY, like the crowd at a wrestling match in an old movie. Jay gets back in the ring and Funk sends him back out with a crazy bump where Cougar doesn’t grab the rope to break his fall, and lands right on his face. Taped fist to the face, and Funk drags him back in for, I guess, a Funk Awakening, or a Rude Funkening. Cougar throws punches and Funk does an awesome sell, looking like he’s trying not to show pain, and finally he shakes off the shots and piledrives Cougar for the three-count. Funk has some HEAT here, and some fans in the front row get right in his face and scream at him before Tommy Young steps between them. Funk then goes to Twitter and complains about the fans’ behavior.

-Funk cuts an awesome crazy promo about having a dream where he’s spending time on the porch with his dead father when his mother gets in the car and accidentally backs over a jackass who turns out to be Ric Flair.

STEINER BROTHERS (with Missy Hyatt) vs. FRED AVERY & KEITH STEINBORN
-Missy looks terrified of this crowd on the way to the ring. Rick’s nerdy fan is at ringside again and Rick gives her his jacket again.

-Scott starts with Avery, and he’s a fat guy so I don’t like his chances. Avery throws punches and rams Steiner into the turnbuckles. Scott fights back with a powerslam. Everybody tags and Rick turns Steinborn upside down and rams him into the corner. Noticeable edit takes us to a clothesline as JR mentions that he’s learned that Rick’s fan is named Robin Green. Shout-out to my older brother, who was 11 when this aired, because he zeroed in on that name right away and pointed out that there was a famous Robin making headlines at that time for her relationship with a fighting dumb jock and he instantly called where this whole storyline was going months in advance.

-Scott clotheslines Avery out to the floor and gives Steinborn a belly-to-belly for the three-count.

-Paul E. Dangerously goes off on the Road Warriors for sabotaging the SST’s shot at the World Tag Team Titles at Clash of the Champions. Dangerously christens himself “Psycho Yuppie” for the first time and declares war on both teams.

SAMOAN SWAT TEAM (with Paul E. Dangerously) vs. MIKE AWESOME & ROCK HARD RICK
-Oh my god, that one jobber’s name is the greatest thing ever. I mean seriously…”Mike Awesome”?

-SST attacks before the bell and sends Mike Awesome to the floor. TERRIFYING bump by Rick who goes up for a flapjack but nearly lands right on his head, and Gary Capetta looks horrified at the impact. Mike Awesome, wearing Hogan ring gear in a weird visual, tags back in and gets strangled and headbutted. Back suplex off the top rope by Samu, and right now, the only thing thrilling fat chicks is the ass-kicking that Awesome is taking. Splash off the top rope by Fatu gets three.

FABULOUS FREEBIRDS (World Tag Team Champions, with Terry Gordy) vs. RANDY ROSE & MARK SMITH
-I like that Randy Rose has been demoted to total jobber but they still bill him “From the Dark Side.”

-Garvin drives knees into Rose and knocks Smith off the apron. Great Value Magnum TA comes back with hiptosses and slams, but he misses a dropkick and tags Smith into the ring. Garvin drives more knees into him. Freebirds tease some confusion about tagging to distract the referee while Gordy dashes over and murders Rose. DDT by Garvin gets the three-count.

-We look at Eddie Gilbert screwing up his surprise attack and burning a jobber at the Clash. Gary Hart establishes that Great Kabuki was scarred for life by a fire, and because of that, Muta is afraid of fire, so it was actually a cunning plan that just didn’t work out.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette) vs. JEFF JAMES & JIM BRYANT
-Foot education by Stan Lane, and they double-team James until he’s had enough. Eaton takes two attempts at adding a spinebuster to his arsenal and it goes surprisingly poorly for him.

-CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! SUPERSTATION TBS!

-And we’re back. Veg-o-matic finishes.

NORMAN THE LUNATIC (with Teddy Long) vs. BOB EMERY
-Norman pounds Emery down as JR teases that Teddy Long is introducing a new tag team next week but we don’t know who yet. Splash off the second rope by Norman, and he rolls out of the ring, having forgotten to actually pin Emery, and Long has to steer him back in there to get the match finished. Emery has actually recovered by this point so Norman pretty much has to start over. Avalanche by Norman, and this time he remembers to pin Emery. Funny note about Teddy Long’s new tag team. Dave Meltzer spent weeks reporting that Teddy Long’s new tag team would be the Ebony Experience, consisting of Ron Simmons and Butch Reed. Well…yes, but not right now.

-Road Warriors have some racist threatening words for the SST, who should get on a banana boat back to that hellhole Samoa.

-Another Clash flashback, or Clashback, as I like to call it, as Lex Luger turns heel. Come on, this is the second time he’s turned since his debut. How many times is this guy gonna turn?

-Luger, now wearing heelish sunglasses, says that pleasing these people became more important than pleasing himself, and all he came up with was a handful of dirt. Dude, if you please yourself and you have dirt in your hands when you’re done, go to a doctor. Actually, no joke, Luger cuts an awesome promo here, describing the physical sensation in his arm when he attacked Ricky Steamboat and he declares himself the TRUE “dirtiest player in the game.”

RANGER ROSS vs. LEE SCOTT
-Press slam by Ross right away for a two-count. They trade pinning combos for a bit and Scott charges, but Ross ducks and Scott flings himself out of the ring. Back in, Ross suplexes him for two. Combat kick ends it.

-Cute bit where Scott Steiner teases his brother for having a girlfriend, and Rick is too embarrassed to say he likes her back.

“Games Master” KEVIN SULLIVAN & CAPTAIN MIKE ROTUNDA vs. RAY LLOYD & BUCKY SEIGLER
-Okay, they really need to decide if the Varsity Club is dead or not. Rotunda suplexes both opponents around. Sullivan stomps and rips away at Lloyd’s skin before bringing Rotunda back in to finish with the double underhook.

-Jim Cornette introduces a new friend, “Dr. Death” Steve Williams, who wants to get his hands on Terry Gordy. So with a third man on their side, the Midnight Express is ready for either the SST or the Fabulous Freebirds.

TV TITLE: STING (Champion) vs. AL GREEN
-JR beats me to the punch by joking about Al Green the singer, so I won’t bother.

-Sting dropkicks and clotheslines Green, sending him over the top rope, and then slingshotting himself on top. Green goes to the eyes and suplexes him back in the ring, but Sting reverses an Irish whip. Stinger splash and the scorpion deathlock finish it. Terry Funk shows up for a sneak attack after the bell, but Sting sees him coming, and when Funk realizes he’s caught, he gets out of there without attempting anything.

-Freebirds are the champs, by god, and the last time they did it, they were the best ever.

“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS vs. TERRY GORDY
-Williams charges into the ring, Gordy goes to the floor to stall, but Williams follows him out there and they brawl. In the ring, Williams suplexes Gordy for two. Slugfest continues and Williams backs him into the corner, ramming and hiptossing him. Elbow drop misses and Gordy goes for a piledriver, but Williams backdrops out. Gordy throws clotheslines to keep Doc from getting anything going. Williams comes back with tackles and looks to be going for the Stampede, but Michael Hayes shows up to distract the referee, and we get a REALLY unconvincing finish as Jimmy Garvin trips Dr. Death and it causes him to do a somersault into a cradle, so Gordy pins him. Jim Cornette runs in to tell the referee what happened and the Freebirds threaten a 3-on-1 attack on the manager, which brings out the Midnight Express, which brings out the New Zealand Militia, which brings out the Dynamic Dudes, which brings out Norman, which brings out the jobbers to break it up, which brings out the Steiner Brothers for reasons, and the show ends with a big-ass brawl.

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

Fun batch of squashes and angles that really feel like they're going somewhere. Good week!