World Championship Wrestling (6.24.1989) Review

-Cold open: Lex Luger clotheslines the hell out of Ricky Steamboat at the Clash.

-Originally aired June 24, 1989.

-I just want to say that they took way too long changing the name and it looks incredibly stupid in the opening to see that the full title of the show is “WCW World Championship Wrestling.”

-Your hosts are JR and PS.

“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS & MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette) vs. KEITH STEINBORN, JEFF JAMES, & FRED AVERY
-Lane kicks Steinborn around while Hayes takes his microphone to ringside and heckles Cornette. Jobbers aren’t posing any kind of threat, so Williams leaves the apron and gets in Hayes’ face, and Hayes retreats back to commentary. Hayes summons his boys to come out from the commentary table, and the Freebirds offer some threats while the match, which is a total afterthought at this point, ends in a victory for Cornette’s crew.

-Post-match, Cornette dares them to get their asses AND their belts down to the ring, but Hayes says they obviously aren’t dressed to wrestle, so the match won’t happen. So Cornette borrows a page from the Back to the Future playbook and accuses them of being too chicken to fight. Hayes doesn’t take that bate, but Terry Gordy and Jimmy Garvin do, so they hit the ring, and Tommy Young steps in to officiate, and we have a spontaneous non-title match…

-Steve Williams goes out to the floor and absolutely does not take his eyes off eyes. Meanwhile, the Express ends up absolutely squashing the shit out of the Freebirds, and Lane cradles Garvin to win it in about a minute. Center Stage loses its shit and Michael Hayes absolutely freaks out. Hayes refuses to allow the show to continue until the Midnight Express comes back to ringside.

-Back from commercial, the Freebirds have stopped the show cold and won’t let anything else happen, and JR calls them out for all their tough talk about posturing. If the Freebirds are tough guys and champions, they’ll get back into the ring and wrestle a second match tonight, AND they’ll defend the belts this time. The Freebirds think about it and head to the back to change into some actual wrestling gear. I love this. No general managers, no 20 minute promos. “We got screwed!” “Well, grow a pair and do something about it!” “Okay, we will!” The end.

TV TITLE: STING (Champion) vs. CHANCE MYERS
-Sting backs Myers into the corner and rams him repeatedly. Stinger splash and the scorpion deathlock finish in under a minute.

-Stinger is concerned about his friend Lex Luger, so Luger comes out to talk to him. Lex is just a super-condescending douche, taking credit for training Sting and “letting him” go to nice restaurants and travel with him. Sting is so disgusted that he just walks off. Lex voices his disgust for snot-nosed children and pathetic women who send him love notes. He can have any woman he wants, do you think he actually cares about the women who come to the matches? Lex is in the ZONE here, just totally undoing a year and a half of goodwill with one killer promo.

WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE: FABULOUS FREEBIRDS (with Terry Gordy) vs. MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette)
-Lane cleans house and Garvin gets caught in the ring and double-teamed. He surprises Eaton with a short clothesline and chokes him out in the corner with his knee. Hayes tags in and Eaton has no trouble with him, backdropping him and walking right over to tag out. Lane chops Hayes in the throat. Eaton tags back in, but Hayes makes a comeback and launches him out so far that Eaton totally knocks over all the barricades on that side of the ring. Niiiiiiiiccce.

-But even that doesn’t keep Eaton down, and he manages to tag Lane back in. Lane hiptosses and armdrags Garvin around as we pause for a commercial break…

-We return with Hayes throwing Lane out to the floor, but Lane jumps right back in and throws Hayes out to the floor. Fistfight follows. Lane powerslams Hayes and makes the tag, and Eaton dominates with rapid punches. Lane tags in and Garvin yanks him by the hair from the apron to CHANGE THE MOMENTUM! Garvin stunguns him. They collide on a shoulderblock and everybody tags, Bobby Eaton fights the world. Garvin gets cleared from the ring and the Express starts to go in for the kill, but Gordy blocks the Veg-o-Matic by knocking Bobby Eaton off the top rope and into the barricade, and the Freebirds retain by countout. Fun “seesaw” match as Vince would say.

-The Steiner Brothers and Missy Hyatt are here with Rick’s new girlfriend, and Rick gets flustered introducing his new girlfriend, Robin from Milwaukee. Rick reaches into his jacket and pulls out some roses that he’s had pressed against him for hours, but it’s the thought that counts. Scott instantly recognizes them as roses from the neighbor’s bushes.

A&W CREAM SODA KING OF THE SLAMS
-Ric Flair is good at suplexes. Call the A&W Slam Line and vote Yes or No for Ric Flair in the King of the Slams contest. I liked this segment, but it lacks the nuance of Spam Slam.

STEINER BROTHERS (with Missy Hyatt) vs. CRUEL CONNECTION & SNAKE BROWN
-This isn’t a handicap match. There’s just one green masked guy there, and he’s called Cruel Connection.

-But here are Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda to harass Robin. Kevin destroys the roses and throws them in her face, and Rick goes to ringside to comfort his girlfriend while Scott handles Cruel…Connection. Shouldn’t he just be Cruel Connector?

-Rick is so pissed off that he demands to tag in just to get all the rage out of his system, and he absolutely mauls Cruel Connection and finishes him with an over-the-head belly-to-belly that plops the Connector right on his head.

-Terry Funk is looking forward to Ric Flair’s big announcement next week…and he’d better make the right announcement.

-Eddie Gilbert welcomes Tommy Rich back to the NWA. Tommy talks about winning the NWA Title in Augusta, Georgia back in 1981 and could not possibly sound more like Al Bundy bringing that up. Eddie Gilbert tries to close up the show by saying a few words about his errant fireball a few weeks ago, but out comes the Great Muta, who lays him out with a faceful of mist and beats on him with a kendo stick until we fade to black.

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

I hate to say it, but once again, the shortened episodes of this show are the best. They were so much more focused when they had an hour or less to work with.