The Wrestling News Experience: 09.07.09

Monday, September 7th, 2009

LABOUR DAY!

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

Help! I’m Being Held Against My Will And Forced To Write Teasers!

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and I have to tell you, I am not looking forward to the new fall TV season. Now, I know I’m just outside the target 18-25 demographic (guess which one and win…well, nothing), but am I that far out of the loop that it’s weird that I have absolutely no desire to watch three dozen cop shows, a dozen doctor shows, and, of course, the new seasons of American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, and People Doing Stupid Things For Too Much Money? There are literally three non-wrestling shows that I plan to watch in the new fall season, and of those, I’m shocked that a) Fox forgot to cancel Dollhouse and b) Big Bang Theory has survived and thrived despite revolving around the nerdiest characters on television since Urkel. But hey, thanks to NBC for giving Jay Leno a new show five nights a week during prime time so I can eliminate an entire network from my channel surfing.

Moving on.

Tonight’s Host:

This’ll Teach You To Give Rob Schneider A Film Career!

Here’s a quick question: do you think anyone in the WWE management or Creative team knows that ol’ Bob hasn’t actually hosted The Price is Right for over a year now? Hell, do they know he was in Happy Gilmore? And if so, can an inevitable “Santino as Adam Sandler” bit be far behind?

Meanwhile, Randy Orton and Legacy left last week’s Raw as the unquestioned kingpins of Raw, managing to leave John Cena, D-Generation X, and guest host Dusty Rhodes laying as the show went off the air. Although that last one might have become a sore point for Legacy’s Cody Rhodes, who must now ask himself the question: is he really nothing more than Randy Orton’s bitch? And as we are one week away from Breaking Point, how will Cena, HBK, and Triple H respond before facing their respective opponents in brutal submissions matches this Sunday?

Plus, Unified Tag Champions Chris Jericho and Big Show survived singles matches against their Breaking Point opponents, MVP and Mark Henry, last week. However, a crack may have appeared in the massive Show’s facade, as he seems to be set on a collision course with the World’s Strongest Man, one of the few Superstars able to match the big man in terms of size and strength.

Also, already nominated for the 411 Year End Awards for Worst Feud of 2009, Chavo Guerrero and Hornswoggle look to continue their never-ending rivalry. Hey, maybe Evan Bourne will get to be the guy who wrestles this time! And will new contenders for the United States and Divas championships make their presence felt? All this and more, tonight on Raw!

Exit, Stage North!

Interesting news out of TNA this week…yes, again. It seems that TNA has suddenly released former Knockouts champion, participant in the ongoing Knockouts tag title tournament, and the “worker” of the Beautiful People, Angelina Love. Further news eventually surfaced about Love’s release, and it appears that the former Knockout’s Canadian hometown may be the culprit. Apparently Love’s work visa, which allows her to be gainfully employed in the United States, recently expired. Unfortunately, that means that TNA is legally not allowed to continue to keep her under contract, and they had no choice but to release her. I’m sure if I were an American TNA fan, I’d be up in arms about this, and frankly you should stage a rally on Washington, and demand that Obama step up and allow Love to resume employment in TNA. Well, didn’t he say he’d fix all your problems? This seems like something he should be addressing. After all, it’s not like you guys are going to settle that whole health care debate anytime soon.

Hey, now we have universal health care AND Angelina Love. Greatest. Country. Ever.

Exit, Stage South?

Let’s do this first. From last week’s Experience:

Presumably, Rey will drop the belt this Tuesday, likely to Ziggler, but possibly to some other deserving competitor who could have a good match with the Z-Man at Breaking Point and isn’t already otherwise occupied **coughMorrisoncough**.

Wait a second, that would mean…Stephen Called It!!!

And it’s actually a logical idea (yes, yes, I know, we’re applying logic to wrestling again), as now, instead of creating a foregone conclusion at Breaking Point, where Ziggler pretty much has to win the title to remain credible in his rising position, you have a chance to create an entirely new feud for a couple months as he goes after Morrison instead, and has the added benefit of actually getting Morrison into at least one meaningful PPV match, which is a nice change from not being on PPV at all.

But that’s not the real story, as the now-suspended Rey Mysterio apparently is a little peeved with WWE’s handling of his Wellness results and suspension, and may in fact be considering asking for his release and heading back to Mexico, where he would pretty much instantly be the biggest star in the country. Meanwhile, you have to believe that given Mysterio’s public interview about his Wellness violation, as well as rumoured backstage problems including refusing to drop the Intercontinental title to Ziggler at both previous PPVs, and unsatisfaction with his role in WWE, they might indeed be willing to let Rey go. While no further news has arisen on the subject, it will make the next thirty days a little nail-biting for Mysterio fans (and possibly for Dos Caras Jr, who as I recall, was pretty much signed to be an eventual feud for Mysterio).

Well, at least if Rey leaves, they won’t be able to bring out a midget to make fun of him. Plus, he’ll be able to compete for the newly resurrected NWA Minis Championship.

The Real British Invasion

On the heels of signing away ROH original Brian Danielson last week, it was revealed that another long-time face of ROH, Nigel McGuinness, has also reached a deal with WWE. And while ROH fans still seem to be optimistic about the future of the popular independent promotion, the fear is building that ROH may soon become nothing more than the new version of the original ECW, a feeder system for the bigger promotions, building up new stars only to see them pillaged by both TNA and WWE. On the bright side, maybe if they’re lucky, Vince will float them a couple million before he takes everybody worth anything.

All right, so, all the ROH fans appropriately paranoid, now? Okay, let’s move on.

I Saw Four Riders Approaching, They Were Named Tables, Ladders, Chairs, and…Dammit, That Joke Doesn’t Work

Yes, WWE has gone and done it again, as their annual December PPV, formerly known as Armageddon, is now going to be a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs PPV. Hopefully they’ll think of a better name, but then, they already went with Hell in the Cell, so who can really say. And on that note, with PPV’s centered around main events that will always use the Elimination Chamber, Hell in the Cell, and TLC, there are pretty much officially no “big” gimmick matches left to blow off big feuds at points in the year when these gimmick match PPVs do not fall. Of course, at this point every PPV except Judgment Day has a gimmick of some sort, so maybe they’re smarter than I am.

The strangest thing, of course, is that there’s still actually one big gimmick match left that would actually be perfect to base a PPV around, but even though Vince has the guy who invented the Wargames concept under contract, apparently he still doesn’t want to admit that WCW actually came up with one or two really, really good ideas in their existence. But I guess we should be happy, at least he didn’t fall in love with the Triple-Tier Cage from Ready to Rumble.

All Right, I Have Decided To Be Nice

Yes, I promised that I would make a decision, and here it is. Next week, on September 15th, I will be attending the WWE ECW/Smackdown tapings in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. And, since it’s been a long while since I’ve done this, and I’m feeling magnanimous, I thought I’d try another give-away contest for my loyal readers. So, if you’re heading for the same show, and you can be the first to find the six-foot-tall white guy (and really, in downtown Hamilton, that’s probably not so hard), you will be the lucky recipient of a WWE-related prize. Now, I haven’t quite decided what the prize will be, hopefully I’ll have final word on that by next Experience, but rest assured it’ll be worth your while. And probably be a recent DVD of some sort. Maybe I’ll autograph it for fun.

Okay, so here’s the hints you get (aside from the six-foot tall white guy thing, there might be more than one). This time, I’m going to make it really easy, so I’ll be wearing a black Toronto Blue Jays jersey with my last name and the ever-so-stylish double zero uniform number emblazoned on the back. And, if I can sneak it past my fiancée, a cowboy hat. Of course, she actually reads this thing, so don’t count on the hat. The game starts at dawn on September 15th, since I have no idea when we’ll arrive in Hamilton, and continues until I leave the city after the show. I guarantee that I will be at one of the gates of Copps Coliseum before they open to the public, and I will even be really nice and hang around outside Section 108 until just before the ECW tapings begin. If somebody can’t find me with all that help, then I get to keep the prize. Yes, it’s the second-ever Wrestling News Experience WWE Live Event Giveaway, and you could be the lucky winner!

Inactive List as of 08.31.09

WWE Raw

– Batista, out 4 months as of June 9th (biceps)
– Maryse, out indefinitely as of July 28th (knee surgery)

WWE SmackDown

– Edge, out indefinitely as of July 4th (torn Achilles tendon)
– Michelle McCool, day-to-day as of August 1st (knee injury)
– Rey Mysterio, out 30 days as of September 3rd (Wellness violation)

ECW

– No reported injuries

TNA

– Jeff Jarrett, TNA, out indefinitely as of July 21st (self-imposed suspension)

Transactions

– Angelina Love, TNA, released from her contract

– Nigel McGuinness, agreed in principle to a WWE contract

WWE

WWE Champion: Randy Orton
– 84 day reign, defeated John Cena, Triple H, and The Big Show in a Fatal Four-Way for the vacant title on June 15th (Raw)
– Next title defense: vs John Cena, “I Quit” Match, Breaking Point PPV
– if anyone interferes on Orton’s behalf, Orton loses the WWE Title

World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
– 15 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy in a TLC Match on August 23rd (SummerSlam PPV)
– Next title defense: vs The Undertaker, Submission Match, Breaking Point PPV

ECW Champion: Christian
– 43 day reign, defeated Tommy Dreamer on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
– Next title defense: vs William Regal, undetermined date

**NEW** WWE Intercontinental Champion: John Morrison
– 3 day reign, defeated Rey Mysterio on September 4th (Smackdown)
– Next title defense: vs Dolph Ziggler, Breaking Point PPV

WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
– 99 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw

WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and The Big Show
– 43 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Big Show), The Big Show named as replacement for former champion Edge on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
– 28 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Edge), defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
– Next title defense: vs MVP and Mark Henry, Breaking Point PPV

WWE Women’s Champion: Michelle McCool
– 71 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)

WWE Diva’s Champion: Mickie James
– 43 day reign, defeated Maryse on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
– 77 day reign, defeated former champion Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Match on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)

TNA Tag Team Champions: Scott Steiner and Booker T
– 50 day reign, defeated Beer Money, Inc. on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)

TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe
– 22 day reign, defeated Homicide on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Daniels, No Surrender PPV

TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB
– 22 day reign, defeated former champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in a tag match on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)

TNA Legends Champion: Kevin Nash
– 22 day reign, defeated Mick Foley on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: VACANT
– Tournament to crown first ever Champions will conclude at No Surrender

Harrison and James have the weekend news reports.

The Triple Threat talk WWE comings and goings.

Rodriguez has the final For The Record.

Bond has Against The Grain.

Ford has Contemplating CHIKARA.

And Ari has Column of Honor.

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.

Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player’s Poker League.

And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.

Next, from our promotional department, I’ve been informed that if you really do like 411Mania and all it provides, or even just me (and really, who doesn’t like me), don’t forget to bookmark the site in your browser or make 411 your homepage, and tell all your friends about how awesome 411 is.

And don’t forget, you can follow all the everyday goings on in 411 on Twitter.

http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

That’s our show, Small is in tomorrow, and he’s worried that you love Larry more than him. I’ll give you a hint, he’s used to being in my shadow every week. I’ll be back next week.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.

“They’re carrots! Medicinal carrots! Personal use medicinal carrots that were here when I moved in and I’m holding them for a friend!”