wrestling / Columns

Column of Honor: 09.29.07 The Age of Aries Edition Part One

September 29, 2007 | Posted by Ari Berenstein

This is officially my four year anniversary of writing for 411Mania. It’s kind of crazy to think about it, but there we are. I couldn’t be happier or more proud of the work I’ve done, especially with this column, and the work all the 411 writers have done during that time. A quick word of thanks to Ashish, to Larry Csonka for giving me the chance to do COH, to Double M who was my original music editor, to EM for being a hard mistress of a mentor back in the day and to Widro for bringing me in the first place.

Of course thanks to the readers from all around the world who keep this Brooklyn guy humbled (and not in the Iron Sheik way) and shocked that people actually read his thoughts.

Welcome to the Column.

Ring Toss
-Driven Podcast
-ROH’s Second Chance with Aries
-ROH Call
-ROH News
-Hero’s Sandwich
-ROH Preview: 10/05 in Boston, MA
-Honorarium
-Name that Tune
-Ringtones, Stable Wars, Nigel’s run at the top, Briscoes vs. MCMG, more
-Independent Buy In: PWG Holy Diver Down
-ROH @ 411
-Honor Bound Links
-OUT

**RING OF HONOR: DRIVEN PODCAST~!**

We are BACK once again, and this time we are here to break down the Ring of Honor DRIVEN PPV! Christi and I are joined by the “Column of Honor’s” ARI (~!) for a huge discussion of an EXCELLENT top to bottom show. We will discuss great matches, clean finishes, and NO BULLSHIT! We touch on the two out of the ring segments, that for the second straight PPV were great and answer the question, “Is Nigel vs. Danielson a MOTY Contender?” 80-Minutes of ROH Discussion!

DOWNLOAD HERE!

If that doesn’t work, copy and paste the following link into your browser and you’ll be fine: http://www.sendspace.com/file/bwz51o

I swear to god I didn’t mean for it to go eighty minutes, but when you’re talking about Ring of Honor, it’s kind of hard to stop. I’ll have more thoughts on the PPV next week but for now check out that podcast and remember, C is for Cookie. Thanks again to Larry and Christi and thanks to you for checking it out!

ROH’s Second Chance with Aries

Austin Aries officially returned to Ring of Honor during its second Pay Per View show, “Driven”. The show was taped back in June, but is finally being shown now on TVN, Dish and In Demand networks. At the time of the tapings, Aries already had been back (unofficially) for one day, making a surprise appearance at the “United We Stand” event in Dayton, OH. His appearance during that show was a true surprise because no one thought Aries would be coming back anytime soon. He had been exiled from the promotion by TNA and its policy of not allowing contracted talent onto ROH shows. No one expected him back for months, if not maybe a year.

Shockingly, Aries was in attendance at the show only two months after being banished, as a “fan” taking in the sight of his former charges in The Resilience (Erick Stevens and Matt Cross) fighting the good fight against the No Remorse Corps (Roderick Strong, Davey Richards & Rocky Romero). When Roderick Strong and his band of miscreants emerged victorious, the NRC leader spewed forth a vicious diatribe excoriating Aries for not being able to get the job done and for not being able to come back to ROH to do anything about it. The fans were shocked, but excited. It seemed to be too coincidental, too professional wrestling to have Aries there just as a fan. And it was too coincidental, too much professional wrestling.

The next night Aries has his big return and as viewers who purchase the PPV can see for themselves, it was a very successful one at that. Aries was welcomed back by the fans in attendance as a returning hero. He was ready to go back to ROH action and ready to go back to war against his former tag team partner and his cadre.

You would think the sky would be the limit for the returning former ROH World champion; that building on the foundations of a successful re-emergence on the ROH scene would be easy. However, it turned out not to be the case. Aries’ first two matches (in non-tournament actions at the Race to the Top Tournament double shot) were fine but not particularly special. He lost his return match, a four corner elimination match. He was the first eliminated, thus robbing him of any satisfaction against his former partner turned hated rival Roderick Strong who was in the match defending the FIP title. The next night featured Aries earning the winning fall over Nigel McGuinness in the $10,000 tag team challenge match.

Since then, Aries’s return had stalled out. His role as leader of the Resilience has not been working out, with his faction still losing more than winning. While Aries has picked up the odd pinfall victory here and there (most importantly a win against Strong in the “Battle of Generation Next” triple threat in NYC on 8/25), his team has not fared as well against the NRC. Ultimately, Aries has been looking like a weak and inefficient leader. This is a far cry from the man who guided the founding four of Generation Next to the top of the food chain in 2004-2005.

It is true that Aries has won the majority of his singles matches, but more so than wins and losses Aries has not been given the spotlight or attention of someone who was in his unique situation. Aries was hugely over with the crowd because he chose ROH over TNA. He had come back a returning hero, but the attention was not on him for many of these events. Rather the focus of advertisement and hype was anything but him. ROH advertised the Japan shows, the Morishima-Dragon-Danielson triangle and The Briscoes rivalry against El Generico and Kevin Steen. Aries was only in the main event once during this time, as a part of an 8-man tag war in Philadelphia during Death Before Dishonor V weekend. Most of the time, Aries was in the under card. Sometimes it seemed as if Aries had never returned at all.

Aries could have been the equivalent of a Chris Jericho or The Radicals, each of whom debuted in WWF after choosing them over WCW. Ironically enough, WWF didn’t quite follow up well enough on those landmark debuts. Unbelievably, Ring of Honor was losing out on a huge opportunity that was presenting itself to market Austin Aries and make him a bigger star(r) than he ever was before.

Until now.

There is new life in the Austin Aries push. Ring of Honor has a second chance to do something special with him now that his return will be broadcast on PPV. His return will be shown to the masses and it will be front and center in the opening segments of the PPV. There is great opportunity to capitalize on this moment and make Aries the success he was supposed to be back in June.

The saying goes that the first impression is the one that counts and for the PPV audience, this will be a hell of a first impression—a passionate and fiery Aries rushing into the ring to take on his foes, chasing them off and then declaring himself signed with ROH. It would be hard pressed to come up with a better scenario to reintroduce Aries than that.

Better yet, this will be new to a wide range of the audience. There will be a considerable range of spectators for his homecoming. This includes a large number of hardcore fans who were not in attendance in Chicago Ridge as well as a number of newer fans. They might know about Austin Aries through his stint in TNA, but might not know what he is all about within the confines of an ROH ring. This return will let them know exactly why Aries is considered one of the more popular and inspirational wrestlers on the ROH roster.

It doesn’t matter if this event occurred back in June and that in actuality Aries has been back ever since; for PPV viewers, this is Aries first time on television for this company. His return is in an important one and it comes with the ability to make a powerful impression on the fans at home.

Coincidentally, at this time ROH bookmakers have announced a best-of-three series featuring Aries against top wrestler “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson (see news, below). He and Aries have huge history together—a competitive rivalry that stretches back to 2004. In the course of five matches, Danielson has won three and Aries two. In the ring, these guys are golden against one another. They have never had a bad match when fighting against each other and their styles and abilities in the ring both compliment and enhance the other. The winner of this series receives a ROH World title shot on November 3rd in New York City, which is one of the more important events of the year considering it also features the NYC debut of Mitsuhara Misawa. A lot of eyes will be focused on that show and history could be made once again because Aries could fight his way into position to become the first ever two-time ROH World Champion.

This series of matches could be Aries’ ticket back to the main event. It is certainly a part of a renewed wave of promotion from ROH for Aries, which has also included some new feature articles about him on their website’s main page. In addition, Aries and Strong will fight one-on-one during ROH’s fourth PPV taping. This could be the ultimate moment in the NRC vs. Resilience feud—a victory for Aries could turn things around for his group.

Right now is the right time to be Austin Aries— a victorious return, a new push and featured matches in upcoming shows. It’s amazing that just a few months ago ROH was getting it all wrong with him; now, they seem to be doing everything right in featuring one of their best talents.

Ring of Honor has its second chance with Aries. They blew it the first time by not giving his return the proper attention worthy of such an important moment. They are now capitalizing on that return. Let’s hope they don’t blow it a second time. It would be a mistake of near criminal proportions for a company that rarely makes such huge missteps.

The prodigal son came home a long time ago. Now ROH finally gets around to celebrating the occasion.

ROH Call

ROH Champions—As of 09/29/2007

ROH World Champion—Takeshi Morishima (champion since 02/17/07, 19 successful defenses)

Next Defense:: vs. Kevin Steen 10/05/07 Boston, MA

V.1 defeated BJ Whitmer via pinfall / backdrop driver (2/23/07 Dayton, OH)
V.2 defeated KENTA via pinfall / backdrop driver (3/04/07 Tokyo, Japan)
V.3 defeated Nigel McGuinness via pinfall / backdrop driver (4/14/07 Edison, NJ)
V.4 defeated Austin Aries via pinfall / backdrop driver (4/27/07 St. Paul, MN)
V.5 defeated SHINGO via pinfall / backdrop driver (4/28/07 Chicago Ridge, IL)
V.6 defeated KAZMA via pinfall / backdrop driver (05/06/07 Tokyo, Japan)
V.7 defeated BJ Whitmer via pinfall / backdrop driver (05/12/07 New York, NY)
V.8 defeated Jay Briscoe via pinfall / backdrop driver (6/08/07 Roxbury Crossing, MA)
V.9 defeated Roderick Strong via pinfall / backdrop driver (6/09/07 Philadelphia, PA)
V.10 defeated Jimmy Rave via pinfall / backdrop driver (06/23/07 Chicago Ridge, IL)
V.11 defeated Adam Pearce via pinfall / backdrop driver (06/23/07 Chicago Ridge, IL)
V.12 defeated Nigel McGuinness via pinfall / backdrop driver (7/16/07 Tokyo, Japan)
V.13 defeated Claudio Castagnoli via pinfall / backdrop driver (8/10/07, Roxbury Crossing, MA)
V.14 defeated Brent Albright via pinfall / backdrop driver (8/11/07, Philadelphia, PA)
V.15 Three Way Elimination Match: defeated Brent Albright and Claudio Castagnoli (8/24/07, Hartford, CT)
V.16 defeated Bryan Danielson via pinfall / backdrop driver (8/25/07, New York, NY)
V.17 defeated Katsuhiko Nakajima via pinfall / lariat (9/01/07, Tokyo, Japan)
V.18 defeated Erick Stevens via pinfall / backdrop driver (9/14/07, Detroit, MI)
V.19 defeated Bryan Danielson via referee stoppage (9/15/07, Chicago Ridge, IL)

ROH World Tag Team Champions— Jay and Mark Briscoe (champions since 03/30/07, 14 successful defenses)

Next Defense: TBA

V.1 Ultimate Endurance: defeated Pelle Primeau & Mitch Franklin, Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw, Hallowicked & Gran Akuma (4/27/07 St. Paul, MN)
V.2 defeated Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) (4/28/07 Chicago, IL)
V.3 defeated BJ Whitmer and ROH World Champion Takeshi Morishima (5/11/07, Hartford, CT)
V.4 defeated Claudio Castagnoli and Matt Sydal (5/12/07, New York, NY)
V.5 defeated The Kings of Wrestling (Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero) (6/09/07, Philadelphia, PA): 2 out of 3 falls- 2 straight falls
V.6 defeated Claudio Castagnoli and Matt Sydal (6/22/07, Dayton, OH): 2 out of 3 falls- 2 straight falls
V.7 defeated El Generico & Kevin Steen (6/23/07, Chicago Ridge, IL)
V.8 defeated Jimmy Rave & Genki Horiguchi (7/17/07 Osaka, Japan)
V.9 defeated SHINGO & Susumu Yokozuka (7/17/07 Osaka, Japan)
V.10 defeated “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson & Nigel McGuinness (7/27/07, Long Island, New York)
V.11 Steel Cage Match: defeated. Kevin Steen & El Generico (8/24/07 Hartford, CT)
V.12 defeated Kevin Steen & El Generico (8/25/07 New York, NY): 2 Out of 3 Falls – 2 straight falls
V.13 defeated Austin Aries & Matt Cross (9/14/07 Detroit, MI)
V.14 Ladder Match: defeated Kevin Steen & El Generico (9/15/07, Chicago Ridge, IL)

FIP Heavyweight Champion: Roderick Strong (since 11/10/2006)
SHIMMER Champion: Sara Del Rey (since 6/2/2007)
Top of the Class Trophy (For ROH Students): Mitch Franklin (since 8/24/2007)

Top Feuds & Pairings:
-Bryan Danielson vs. Takeshi Morishima
-Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (rivalry)
-Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness
-Morishima vs. McGuinness (rivalry)
-The Age of the Fall vs. The Briscoes
-The No Remorse Corps vs. The Resilience vs. The Vulture Squad
-Delirious vs. Albright, Whitmer and Adam Pearce (The Hangman’s Three)

ROH News
(via the ROHnewswire… and other sources when attributed

Mark Briscoe, El Generico Suffer Injuries

Over the weekend Mark Briscoe suffered a dislocated foot as a result of a motorcycle accident. He was unable to wrestle for an indy promotion in Canada and also has to miss his upcoming FIP booking. Also El Generico was reported to have suffered a hamstring injury as a result from wrestling in the ladder match for ROH’s third PPV. It is unknown how much time he will miss.

This is not the first time Briscoe has suffered a motorcycle injury. His last one was far more serious and kept him out of action for eight months, I believe. In actually Mark has a heck of a recent history of injuries both inside and outside the ring. I won’t tell someone how to live their life, but some exercise in caution couldn’t hurt you know? Maybe stay off the motorcycle for extended periods of time during what is one of your longest and most important pushes of your career.

As far El Generico goes, I’d consider it a godsend that a hamstring is the worst injury sustained during that ladder match, considering reports have it being just a brutal fight all the way through. Let’s hope the injuries won’t keep either man away from the ring for all too long.

Cary Silkin Interview: ROH Looking into TV Deal

In a radio interview for WDFN in Detroit, ROH owner Cary Silkin stated when asked about TV for ROH, that “we definitely have interest. It has to be the right situation. We’ve spoken with a few people and hopefully something will maybe[be] transpiring in the next many months, but there’s certainly nothing official, just doing a little talking.”

Silkin indicated that such a show would this would be a cable show on a national level.

Another interesting tidbit from the interview include Silkin’s thoughts on getting involved in the on screen product (short answer, a definite no).

It certainly sounds to me that Silkin has been making some movements behind the scenes and that there is something developing that he doesn’t want to let out of the bag yet. Rumors developed a few weeks ago that ROH was in negotiations to have a TV deal with Versus (VS) network, which currently hosts NFL hockey, WEC cage fighting events and the Tapout reality series.

It certainly seems to me that ROH has been getting itchy trigger fingers on trying to get to that “next level” for a while now. PPV was their attempt to do a low risk, low reward type of movement, and it has been somewhat successful, but again, on a smaller level. The next step for exposure would be television, but with that comes high risk and high reward. Is ROH ready for that next step?

Personally, I don’t believe that TV is the cure all for any wrestling promotion these days, whether it is WWE, TNA, ROH or any other independent promotion. There are thousands of channels now and something is on for everyone of them. Just having a show on for the sake of having a show on is not going to guarantee viewers or for that matter, profit. TNA has been perfect proof of that. They maintain a base of 1 to 1.5 million viewers every week, but never get more than 20,000-30,000 pay per view buyers; a horrible ratio.

If ROH wants to make that next step AND be successful in terms of ratings and potential customers, they have to be really careful. They need to come in with a promotional plan, an advertising budget and a guarantee that they can present their product without any mitigating circumstances, such as changing the style. As Silkin points out in the interview, it has to be the right situation, and hopefully they can find that right situation. ROH can work on TV, but it can also go the way of ECW and no one wants that. It’s a scary and exciting proposition for the company and the fans who watch the product.

Las Vegas Show Moves, Remains 21 and Over

Ring of Honor heads to the West Coast starting on Friday, October 19th with a show in Las Vegas, Nevada at The Empire Ballroom on 3765 Las Vegas Boulevard. Bell time is 7:00pm. You must be at least 21 years old to attend this event. Tickets are now on sale.

Well, sorry to those under the age limit but it looks like the venue change didn’t affect your cause any. On the other hand, maybe this means we’ll see “ROH—All Nude Revue.” Starring Bobby Dempsey, Mitch Franklin and Shane Hagadorn.

Like you wouldn’t pay to see that?

Fans should also keep in mind this isn’t the first time that ROH is holding an “minimum age” show. The Future Is Now, which was held at The Supper Club in NYC, also had an age check, although I believe it was 18 and over. Hey its Vegas, sometimes these things just can’t be helped.

Survival of the Fittest 2007 Participants Announced

October 19th will feature ROH’s annual “Survival Of The Fittest” tournament. You will witness six single matches in the first half of the show. The winners will advance to the main event Six Man Elimination Match to determine this year’s champion. There will also be non-tournament bouts on the card. “Survival Of The Fittest” is always one of the most unpredictable and grueling nights of the year. It is perfect for the Las Vegas atmosphere. Already signed for “Survival Of The Fittest 2007” are:

-Defending Champion Delirious
-2005 Champion Roderick Strong
-Race To The Top Champion Claudio Castagnoli
-Austin Aries
-2004 Champion Bryan Danielson
-Chris Hero with Larry Sweeney
-More names will be announced soon in the ROHwrestling.com Newswire

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, I’m a tournament mark. So it is good news to hear that “Survival of the Fittest” is sticking around despite last year’s tournament not being as good as previous years and the success of the Race to the Top tourney just two months ago. The field for the tournament is already incredibly strong, featuring all three former winners, the perennial SOTF challenger in Austin Aries and great talent in Claudio and Hero. The best news is this only half the field, but even if this is our final six, what a match that would be!

I’ll have my yearly tournament break down feature coming up in a future edition of the column.

Aries’ Opportunities

Austin Aries has a huge weekend coming up. Aries takes great pride in being on the ROH roster. Many feel that Aries is one of ROH’s elite stars. Aries wants to prove that he is the ace of the company. He will get his chance on 10/5 in Boston and 10/6 in Edison. Aries will be faced with old rival Bryan Danielson in Boston in a battle of true company aces. These two have had many classics in the past and it has been one year since they have competed in singles competition. 10/6 in Edison, NJ will be a different story as Aries goes for revenge against Roderick Strong. These two made history as ROH World Tag Team Champions. Strong changed everything when he turned on Aries last February. Now Edison, NJ will see the match 8 months in the making.

ROHwrestling.com also has an article on Austin Aries’ year of frustration. The article announces a best of three series between Aries and Bryan Danielson. This is a classic rivalry in ROH history and now it is back on as both fight for a title shot and to prove they are the ace of ROH. The first Aries vs. Danielson match will be on 10/5 in Boston. The second one was just signed for 10/21 in SF. The final one if needed will be on 11/2 in Philadelphia. The winner of the series will get a shot at the ROH World Title on 11/3 in NYC. Get tickets for all these events now at ROHwrestling.com.

As noted in the feature article above, this is a very good move on ROH’s part and will help to refocus Aries’ career path in ROH. Danielson and Aries have had great matches in the past and they’re never better than when they face off in a series rivalry. The “Testing the Odds” match was a two out of three fall match and now we get a similar scenario, just spread out over three events. As far as Aries’ match against Strong, since it will be taped for PPV, expect lots of involvement in one way or another from each man’s stable to perpetuate their feud.

A Jigsawed Fit Or the Last Piece of the Puzzle?

We have a major scoop!!! Julius Smokes has revealed that he feels he has discovered an upcoming talent that will be a perfect fit for The Vulture Squad. Smokes says this man is a great compliment to Jack Evans and Ruckus. Smokes has offered this talent a spot in The Vulture Squad and it has been accepted. The newest member of The Vulture Squad is Jigsaw!!! It will be Evans, Ruckus & Jigsaw vs. No Remorse Corps of Roderick Strong, Davey Richards & Rocky Romero on 10/5 in Boston. Get tickets for 30% off until tomorrow morning at ROHwrestling.com. Jigsaw has been impressive in his short ROH stint and this is the break he’s needed.

Jigsaw as the newest member of The Vulture Squad…well, there have been better ideas. I think Eddie Kingston was the far superior choice here and while I’m not too keen about it I also am not about to knock the inclusion until I see it in action and if it fits or not in the ring. After all, just last week I was talking about how well jigsaw has done for himself in ROH, there is no reason that he should not be awarded for his successful efforts by being given a larger role. Apparently, those men behind the scenes in ROH noticed that as well.

I like the idea of an all “high fliers” stable in these faction wars, even though it will leave them at a disadvantage when it comes to brute strength. However, think about the formation of the stables compared to sports. Not all teams are evenly matched or balanced as far as their strengths and weakness. Some teams have specialization in terms of offense, or defense. And play accordingly. This can and should apply to the creation of stables as well. It provides variation and difference and actually makes for better storyline fodder as well, because you can play up the effects of those strengths and weaknesses as the matches (or “season”) go onwards.

By the way Bayani, Jigsaw is not a “mute masked man”—in fact he does more than his fair share of talking in the ring (“Come on! Yeah! Let’s go!) and outside the ring in his interviews. Dude, get out of your PWG bubble and come to CHIKARA-land. They have a better bar there anyway.

Boston and Edison Announcements: Generico Out, Quack In

We have a lineup change for 10/5 in Boston. El Generico suffered a hamstring injury in the Ladder War on 9/15. He is expected to return to action on 10/5 in Boston, but wants to wait until he is 100% before having a rematch of the “Race To The Top Tournament” against Claudio Castagnoli. Generico will now be in a Four Corner Survival pitting him vs. Chris Hero vs. Nigel McGuinness vs. Tyler Black of The Age Of The Fall.

Claudio Castagnoli will face another man he competed against in the “Race To The Top Tournament” as he is now scheduled vs. Mike Quackenbush in Boston on 10/5. Claudio vs. Quack comes to Beantown!!!

The announcement of Tyler Black in the Four Corner Survival means that Jimmy Jacobs & Necro Butcher will now fight The Briscoes on 10/5 in Boston. The Briscoes said that last time in Boston against Kevin Steen & El Generico will be nothing compared to what will go down on 10/5.

You will be hearing much more about Delirious’ feud against The Hangmen Three of Adam Pearce, Brent Albright & BJ Whitmer in the upcoming weeks. This is something to keep an eye on. The feud will continue on 10/6 in Edison, NJ when Delirious will find two partners to go up against Pearce, Whitmer & Albright in six man action.

To be honest I think pulling Generico out of a scheduled match when he is going to be seeing action is a crummy move. This isn’t the first time ROH has postponed matches like this. Quack vs. Claudio—no doubt this will be an awesome match as they always put on fun and entertaining matches. It will be an adequate replacement for the Race to the Top rematch. However I don’t think hiding Generico in a Four Corner Survival is going to matter much, especially once the high impact moves tart rolling out. Generico is going to take some big bumps regardless so just keep him in the match he was supposed to be in. That is, unless he gets taken out before it even really gets going, which would be even more infuriating.

The Four Corner Survival is weird, as I don’t see the reason Tyler Black would even want to be in this match. He isn’t feuding with anyone in there and unless there was something to get him interested such as a title shot on the line, there is little motivate him to participate in the match. On the other hand, Jacobs and Necro vs. The Briscoes looks to be a great battle and I think will end up having great heat and buzz behind it. I think it’s just the beginning of a longer and more draw out series of clashes between the two teams.

Delirious seems to be the odd man out in these stable wars and unless he gets some friends of his in The Resilience to help him out here, he’s going to be lacking the firepower to combat the brute strength and force of Pearce, Albright and Whitmer.

ROH Newswire Comedy Hour

What is The Age Of The Fall? ROH officials are doing research now and will post an article soon on ROHwrestling.com. Many think The Age Of The Fall is a faction consisting of Jimmy Jacobs, Lacey, Tyler Black & Necro Butcher.

You’re doing research…NOW??? AFTER they’ve debuted and destroyed your top tag team? Way to be ROH, you are ON the ball about a group of wrestlers out to annihilate you. Wow, get back to me on those “WMD’s in Iraq” while you’re at it.

[Guest Booker with Gabe Sapolsky] is an insight into some of Sapolsky’s booking philosophies and thoughts on talent. Be warned that your wife or girlfriend might leave you after seeing Sapolsky’s charm and charisma come bursting through the TV screen. For all the ladies out there we are sorry, but Gabe is happily married and taken.

Okay, that is just a GREAT line. Gabe or whoever does these newswire bits have just shown a tremendous sense of humor and for that I give two thumbs way up. Sirs, I commend you all!

Age of the Fall-Week Two: Your Mission: Be a Dumb Moron

Well those pedophiliac weirdos over at The Age of the Fall have stayed pretty quiet this week, well, except for the following email detailing the first mission they have given to their legion (read:12) of followers.

“Time to let your voice be heard. Email [email protected] (Mike
Johnson at pwinsider.com), [email protected] (Dave Meltzer at The
Wrestling Observer) and [email protected] (Wade Keller at
PWTorch.com) and let them know why you support The Age Of The Fall.
Email one or all three. Let them know the revolution is underway.”

Wow, is this ever a dumb idea or what? And I don’t even mean that in a mocking way, I really do think this is pretty stupid and the first really big mistake done in this angle.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight—all three of those men have much better things to do than to read the extra email from whoever is moronic enough to waste the time in their life to go through fan letter after letter expressing support for Age of the Fall—whether or not the letter writers are “in character” is pretty much immaterial. Second of all, what does a letter writing campaign accomplish?? You know what I do with all the brochures of political ads telling me I should vote for this person or that person running for office? I tear them up, throw them into the garbage and never read them. My guess is that Dave, Mike and Wade will probably do the same. Even if they do print one or two in their mail bags, who cares?

The worst part of it all is that this is just the “first” mission, as in their might be more. HEY 161 FOLLOWERS, I got a mission for you, DO MY LAUNDRY. And don’t forget the fabric softener.

Hero’s Sandwich

Greetings and salutations, Hero-ites, it is I, Chris Hero reaching out to you through the Internet yet once again, to grace you with some of my words of wisdom and enlightenment. I have been deep in film study in preparation for my upcoming match against Claudio Castagnoli in Edison, New Jersey on October 6th. Yes, it is true that I will have other matches in the interim, but this is the match that means the most to me at this point in my career, as well as in my personal resurrection. If I am to be victorious over Claudio, I must lay it all on the line and become one with my inner chi, so that I can focus all of my positive energy towards this one match. If I can do all that is necessary, I believe that this match could become a launching pad for further success in ROH.

As I sit here typing, I am multi-tasking, and watching the second ROH Pay Per View event, Driven. At the time of the event, I was enraged at the fact that I wasn’t given a match on the PPV portion of the show, as was the case with the first PPV, Respect Is Earned. Sure, I did get to show my talent in a quick segment with Sweet and Sour Inc, but that was in no way a true picture of my abilities. While the old version of me would have bemoaned this fact for an extended period of time, this version of Chris Hero looks at this exclusion in a positive light. At that time, I was not spiritually ready for that kind of exposure, and to be honest with you, I don’t think that the general public would have been ready for me either. My skills and in ring talents are so far beyond everything that the mainstream wrestling fan would have been able to comprehend, its probably better for their inner peace that they didn’t get the chance to see me just yet. I have been told by the powers that be that my match with Claudio will be part of the fourth PPV broadcast, and that’s great. By the time that match takes place, my skills will far exceed anything anyone has ever seen before, and quite possibly, the fans will be able to wrap their tiny minds around what they see me do in the ring.

This week, I have also given a great deal of thought to the west coast trips that ROH will be embarking on this fall. I am very excited to head to Las Vegas, and I am looking forward to spending quality time in “sin city” with Larry, Tank, Sara and Blobby, er, Bobby, and then, winning the Survival of the Fittest event. In my humble but correct opinion, this event quite possibly could launch ROH to another level of popularity. In addition, by that time, things will be going my way again, and with that in mind, I can’t wait to get to the blackjack tables. Due in part to my contract with ROH, they have to pay me a HUGE per diem, and I know for a fact that most, if not all of that sum will be multiplied in the casinos of LV. Not only am I a phenomenal wrestler, but also, an amazing card shark. I know when to hold them, and most definitely know when to fold them. Now I know some of my faithful readers are asking “how can you find your center in a den of iniquity?” To that I say, well, I have to pay the bills. Dr. Christopher R. Azed doesn’t work pro bono you know. After my inevitable victory in LV, I will head to San Francisco and Wrestle Fan Fest and be victorious in whatever match Gabe books me in. In that belief, I’m 100% positive. Both ROH and Chris Hero are both on the verge of something big, and I hope that many of you great Hero-ites will be able to come out to these West Coast shows and show me your love. I know that I will be able to return the favor with an amazing performance.

Well, enough for this week. I have to return to the gym to finish the first part of my daily workout routine, which includes weight lifting and/or cardio work. In the second part, I work my grappling skills, and have recently begun to train with a famous MMA superstar who has requested anonymity at this time. He is instructing me in the ways of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I believe that adding this skill, along with my pre-existing wrestling abilities, will make me into the greatest wrestler to ever step into the squared circle. After my physical training, I will return to the offices of Dr. Christopher R. Azed to train my mind and soul. I know in my heart, as well as in my mind, that all this hard work will pay off, and I will be successful. On that note, I take my leave for another week. Enjoy life and appreciate all of the positive things that surround you. If you look for the silver lining, I know you can find it. Until we meet again my Hero-ites, this has been your weekly dose of enlightenment; this has been your Hero’s Sandwich. Peace and love, my friends, and remember, may serenity be with you all!

You know, was it me…or did some of the old “Chris Hero” start to creep back in there…? On the other hand, he sounded genuinely appreciative and excited to continue to change his life for the better. I don’t know man, I don’t know…ah, screw it!

QUACK ATTACK!