Dark Pegasus Video Review: Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder

Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder by J.D. Dunn Twitter.com/jddunn411 Brightkite.com/jddunn411 Facebook.com/jddunn411 Examiner.com November 20, 1990 Live from Jacksonville, Fla. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Paul E. Dangerously. Opening Match: The Freebirds (w/Little Richard Marley & Bobby Eaton) vs. The Southern Boys. In a repeat of the last Clash, this was set up as a six-man tag, but this time El Gigante was injured. Hayes brags about putting Gigante out of action, so the ref changes it from a 3-on-2 handicap match to a regular match. These two teams wrestled each other A LOT in 1990, including at the Clash before this one, so there’s a bit of sameness to them all. The Boys blitz the Freebirds with doubleteams and high-flying maneuvers. Armstrong gets a nice flying crossbody from the ring to the ramp on Garvin, but Marley trips up Smothers, allowing Hayes to get the pin after a DDT at around 6:00. Fun, but fairly predictable. **1/4 Sting is hyped to find out who the Black Scorpion is. The Scorpion himself (actually Ole Anderson with a vocoder) interrupts on the house mic and promises to show Sting some of his dark magic. Brian Pillman vs. Buddy Landell. Pillman defeated Landell at The Great American Bash, so Landell wants revenge. Pillman reverses the Thesz Press for two and small packages Landell for two more. Cool spot as Pillman hits a springboard lariat (CM Punk-style) from the ring to the ramp. Buddy fights back but misses a clothesline and posts himself. Buddy shoves Pillman to the post and darts back in. Paul E. Dangerously starts in with the “Pillman being trained by Ric Flair” backstory, which makes no sense because that was Stan Lane. Crazy spot as Pillman springboards into a twisting crossbody on the floor, sending both guys into the railing. This match mirrors their Bash match, as Budro dominates throughout but falls to a flying crossbody at 5:58. Surprisingly good match, as Pillman was trying all sorts of things that wouldn’t be en vogue for years. **1/2 The Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong. The Big Cat is not Ernie Ladd, nor is he Andres Galarraga. This is Curtis Hughes, future journeyman bodyguard for several wrestling superstars. His main claim to fame is a mini-feud with the Undertaker. The Cat destroys Armstrong with backbreakers and finishes him with the Torture Rack at 4:27. Jim Ross is adamant that Armstrong never gave up and that the ref just stopped it to protect him. Dude, it’s Brad Armstrong. He doesn’t need protection. The Big Cat didn’t do much as a wrestler and settled into his role as an enforcer soon after this. 1/2* The Z-Man vs. Brian Lee. Yep, that’s future “Fake Undertaker” Brian Lee in there with *blond* hair, looking about as generic as one possibly can. It’s a chinlock, so here’s a list of guys who Lee looks just like: Stan Lane, Lex Luger, Stunning Steve Austin, Danny Spivey, Barry Windham. That is all. Zenk fights out of the chinlock, hits a sloppy kick, and finishes with a missile dropkick at 3:10. This was a tryout for Lee, which he failed, and he’d spend the next few years meandering about, giving people towel-related advice, before striking gold as the Fake Undertaker. The biker gimmick in ECW and SMW followed, and Lee had a nice little career for himself. * Mike Rotunda announces that he’s legally changed his name to Michael Wallstreet. He also introduces us to Alexandra York and her computer, which boasts nearly 2 MB of RAM. York predicts victory over the Star Blazer. She needed a computer to tell her that? York, by the way, is Terri Runnels, future wife of Dustin Rhodes. This was back in the days when Pillman, Zenk and many others were biting into her peppermint patty, though. Michael Wallstreet (w/Alexandra York) vs. Star Blazer. Wallstreet’s gimmick is a direct template for JBL. Star Blazer is Tim Horner under a goofy mask. He certainly seems to resemble the Blue Blazer… only red. He even wrestles a bit like Owen. Wallstreet tosses him and then locks in the abdominal stretch with a handful of ropes. The fans are getting restless. After some highly sloppy work, Wallstreet finishes with the Stock Market Crash (Samoan Drop) at 4:15. The Wallstreet gimmick breathed new life into Rotunda, but his idea of playing heel was stalling fooooorever. Of course, Vince snapped him up soon after this and kept aspects of the gimmick for “Irwin R. Shyster.” 1/2* African Qualifiers: Col. DeKlerk & Sgt. Krueger vs. Kalua & The Botswana Beast. The heels are from South Africa. The faces are from… other Africa. Col. DeKlerk is not to be confused with Col. DeBeers, the racist South African of the AWA. DeKlerk is Ted Petty, formerly the Cheetah Kid and futurely Flyboy Rocco Rock. Krueger would go on to be Doink the Clown. The Beast is Yvon Cormier, a member of one of the most unheralded wrestling families. Sadly, he passed away earlier this year. The babyface Africans, who are black of course, overpower the heels at every turn. Petty does some nice stuff, but that gets the crowd on their side and they’re supposed to be heels… I think. The finish sees the Beast go for a slam on Krueger only to have DeKlerk dropkick them over for the pin at 4:51. Meh. The heels earned the right to represent Africa at Starrcade. Whoop-de-doo, Basil. 3/4* We see a vignette of Paul E. Dangerously hiring the Motor City Madman (not Ted Nugent) to take out Lex Luger. This somewhat resembled Eddie Arcadian hiring thugs to take out Bruce Leroy. Speaking of Luger, he slugs the Big Cat for interrupting his interview time and threatening him. Lex Luger vs. Motor City Madman. Before the match, The Big Cat returns and attacks Luger. The Madman is just some guy, by the way. I don’t think he did anything else after this. Nothing match as the Madman is just a big brawly slug. Luger no-sells a toss to the corner and lariats the Madman for the win at 2:25. The replay shows the Madman selling the lariat before contact. 1/4* The Nasty Boys vs. The Renegade Warriors. The Warriors are Chris and Mark Youngblood, both of whom are younger brothers of Steamboat-cohort Jay Youngblood. Knobbs and Saggs actually look motivated here, but then they were up-and-comers. Knobbs busts out Divorce Court as the Nasties isolate Mark. All of a sudden, The Steiner Bros. run down and attack the Nasties for the DQ at 4:14. It almost resembled something interesting before the interference. * Sid Vicious vs. The Nightstalker. The Nightstalker is Bryan Clarke, who would go on to be Adam Bomb and Wrath. Wrath was actually pretty cool. A lot of people used to call this the worst match from a major company, but it’s not even close. It even kind of… makes sense. Vicious has an injured rib, so the Nightstalker works it over until the Big Cat comes down to interfere. The Nightstalker misses a swing with his (clearly fake) axe, and gets rolled up for the win at 3:28. Why, you might ask, would Big Cat care? Big Cat, Nightstalker and the Motor City Madman were a sort of mini-stable of mercenaries. Vicious was being groomed for a larger role, but he’d jump to the WWF before that happened. 1/2* The Steiner Bros. vs. Magnum Force. Magnum Force is Jeff Warner and Tim Hunt, who we last saw as part of “Maximum Overdrive” losing to these same Steiners. Apparently, they just name the team after whatever is on the video shelves. The Steiners get a quick win at 2:05, and the Nasty Boys attack. 1/2* Recap of the Black Scorpion angle. The promos clearly sound like Ole Anderson. Listen as he pronounces “difference” as “diffurnz.” The Danger Zone: Sting is the special guest. He’s interrupted by The Black Scorpion doing parlor tricks. He turns some plant in the crowd into a tiger. Sting can’t do anything, though, because he promised not to. So… what happened to the fan? Is he still a tiger? Does his family get some sort of settlement? Anyway, this is where the Black Scorpion thing went awry. A masked villain who has a crazed hatred of the hero is cool. Doing magic tricks that wouldn’t impress a third-grader is not. Recap of the Horsemen and Doom brawling. Ric Flair (w/Arn Anderson) vs. Butch Reed (w/Teddy Long & Ron Simmons). If Ric Flair wins, the Horsemen get a title shot and Teddy Long has to become Flair’s chauffeur. If Reed wins, Doom gets Flair’s Rolls Royce and yacht. Reed is significantly stiffer than he was back in 1985. Stiffer in the bad, less mobile sense. He basically plays the Luger role. The heel/face roles are kind of wonky here as they’re really still two heel teams, and the NWA seems to want Doom to be the babyfaces, but the fans LOVE the Horsemen and their bastardly ways. Teddy cheats a bit too, putting Reed’s foot on the ropes to break the count. Arn yanks the ref to the floor, but since Teddy’s there too, the ref doesn’t know who did it. Reed hits a flying shoulderblock, but the ref gets bumped. That allows Arn to sneak in and blast Reed with a chairshot to give the Horsemen the win and a title rematch at 14:11. The fans rejoice. The Horsemen would be unsuccessful as Flair had to bow out of the challenge for ‘other commitments’ and Barry Windham took his place. **3/4

The 411: A staggeringly bad show featuring a bunch of glorified squashes, the Black Scorpion becoming an even bigger joke than it was, and a Horsemen side angle that got pushed aside when the company had to turn to Flair again to save the Scorpion angle. Thumbs way down.
Final Score:  3.0   [ Bad ]