CHIKARA Review: The Mint Condition

Gavin Loudspeaker is the ring announcer for the CHIKARA guys, and Jakob Hammermeier is the ring announcer for the Brüderschaft members. Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Ultramantis Black, and Gavin Loudspeaker. This is CHIKARA’s first Reading show in a new venue that is very similar to their old Hellertown haunt. Even has a tinge of the ol’ Emmaus building as well.

Green Ant cuts a promo for The Colony bad-mouthing Pinkie Sanchez, and saying that they would destroy him and the BDK tonight.

The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, & Green Ant) vs. The Brüderschaft (Lince Dorado, Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez, & Daizee Haze)

Sara Del Rey is accompanying her fellow BDK members. The BDK attack The Colony before the bell. Dorado blocks a wheelbarrow stunner from Fire Ant and pushes him to Sanchez. The BDK take turns beating on Fire Ant in their corner, making frequent tags. Fire Ant goes to the floor and Soldier Ant comes in. He gives Dorado a briding Northern lights suplex for two. Sanchez comes in and gives Soldier Ant a jumping enzugiri. Soldier Ant chokes Sanchez on the top rope. Dorado comes in and cuts off Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant gets beaten down by the BDK while also being mocked with military hand gestures from Sanchez. Haze dropkicks Soldier Ant to the floor which tags in Green Ant. Green Ant hits a trifecta of dropkicks on Dorado, only to eat one from Sanchez. Sanchez chokes Green Ant with his knee and bites on his antennae. Green Ant then becomes isolated and beaten down. After awhile, Dorado headbutts Green Ant, which backfires. Green Ant fires up Green Ant tags in Fire Ant. He strikes Dorado with an Antzugiri and a wheelbarrow stunner. The Colony gives Dorado the Ants Marching dropkick in the corner. Sanchez gets frightened, leaving Daizee to the Colony. Daizee says they wouldn’t hit her cuz she’s a girl, then she slaps all three of them. Fire Ant and Soldier Ant give her a double big boot, and Green Ant splashes her for two. Green Ant locks in the Texas Cloverleaf. Sanchez breaks the submission. The Colony set up for the Ant Hill, and Dorado breaks it. Have gives Fire Ant the Mind Trip for two. Green Ant gives Dorado a jumping headbutt. He tries an Angle Slam, but Dorado gives him a Michinoku Driver. Dorado follows with a Shooting Star Press. Green Ant goes to the floor, and Dorado dives on him. Haze slaps Soldier Ant, and Soldier Ant gives her a rolling saluting elbow. Soldier Ant throws Haze onto Dorado and Green Ant. Sanchez looks for a sunset flip, and Soldier Ant applies the CHIKARA Special! Sara Del Rey comes in to break the hold for the disqualification at 14:51. I don’t understand the reason of having three separate heat segments for the BDK, but once Green Ant got his hot tag in this match became awesome. The fans ate everything up from then on and everyone played their ole to a tee. Daizee Haze proved her worth as a legitimate threat to any of the CHIKARA guys on the roster, which I know is something she needed to do for a lot of fans. Solid opener, though the ending was a bit souring. The first BDK loss was a disqualification? Pretty annoying. **3/4

Ultramanits Black talks about all the success the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple has achieved since Delirious joined them, and that tomorrow in Pottsville, PA, he and Delirious will capture the Campeones de Parejas. Mantis then says the Order will win King of Trios after that as well. Mantis says while he is relaxing and meditating tonight, he is sending Delirious out for one last slaughter against Player Dos.

Player Dos vs. Delirious

Mantis screams some words at Delirious form the commentary booth. Delirious goes nuts and Dos hits the floor. Delirious chases Dos all around the ring. Delirious comes in and gets thrown to the floor by Dos. Dos fakes out a pescado. Delirious comes in and Dos sunset flips him for two. Dos gives Delirious a hurricanrana. Delirious elbows Dos in the face and then throws him to the floor. Delirious follows. They trade chops and Delirious gives Dos a back rake. Dos flips out of a suplex attempt and slams Delirious’ face into the apron. Dos throws Delirious back in and goes up top. He gives Delirious a crossbody for two. Dos chops Delirious in the corner. Delirious throws Dos off his shoulders and gives Dos a neck hanging tree slam for two. Delirious kicks away at Dos. Delirious grabs a chinlock. Dos escapes, and Delirious puts him into an abdominal stretch while digging his elbow into his side. Dos comes off the second rope, but is caught with a gut buster from Delirious. Delirious bends Dos back in a neck vice and drop shim with a neck breaker. Delirious suplexes Dos, and Dos suplexes Delirious right back. Delirious gives him a jaw breaker and pulls Dos off the ropes. Dos nips up with an enzugiri. Dos comes back with a flurry of offense. Dos drops Delirious with a DDT for two. Delirious drops Dos with a cobra stretch backdrop for two. Dos blocks a second Cobra stretch and gives Delirious a super kick. Dos misses a frog splash, but jackknife pins Delirious for two. Dos drops Delirious on his head with a full nelson slam. Dos hits a standing B13 for two. Delirious evades another frog splash. Delirious drops Dos with the Praying Mantis Bomb for the pin at 9:35. This was much slower paced than the first match, but just as good and was played out really well. Dos didn’t bust out the big stuff till near the end, and Delirious is really underrated. Delirious looks very strong the night before doing for the gold. **3/4

Mantis nods in approval and motions that he and Delirious will soon be champions.

Incoherence (Hallowicked & Frightmare) and The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. Team F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Gran Akuma) and The Badd Boyz (Brad & Chad Badd)

Brad knocks Hallowicked down with a clothesline and a side Russian leg sweep for two. Wicked gives Brad a step-up Frankensteiner. Wicked clotheslines Brad to no avail. Frightmare comes in and gets popped up into a clothesline on Brad. Akuma comes in and Frightmare wheelbarrow armdrags him to the corner. Frightmare hops off the corner into a hurricanrana to the floor. Frightmare then gives Akuma a headscissors on the floor. Ophidian armwhips Icarus and rolls him into a pin for two. Icarus dropkicks Ophidian and looks for an inverted Koji Clutch. Ophidian gives Icarus a satellite headscissors. Ophidian backslides Icarus for two. Ophidian armdrags Icarus to the floor and follows with a tope. Akuma kicks Ophidian in the head. Chad and Amasis come in. Chad shoulder tackles him down. Chad pushes Amasis in the corner and peppers him with punches. Amasis gives Chad a springboard forearm and then a springboard armdrag. Ophidian tells Amasis the fans want him to dance. Amasis gives them what they want, and Chad isn’t amused. He eats a punch from Amasis, and Akuma tags in. Akuma asks for his song, “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga and fakes out the fans by giving Amasis a sole butt. Nice poker face pun by Bryce. The Rudos team-up on Amasis for a bit until Amasis tricks Akuma into doing the splits and gives him an enzugiri. Hallowicked tags in and thwarts Brad Badd. Frightmare comes in and dropkicks Brad down. Chad sends Frightmare to the corner, and he thwarts Chad. Incoherence slaps F.I.S.T in the back. They run at the corner, and eat stereo top rope dropkicks from The Portal. The Portal fly onto the Badd Boyz on the floor. Frightmare takes down Akuma with a hurricanrana. Frightmare slaps Icarus, and Wicked comes in. Hallowicked gives Icarus a step-up Enzugiri and a super snapmare. Wicked rolls him up for two as Chad breaks the pin. The Badd Boys give Wicked a double STO. Chad pops-up Frightmare into Brad who gives Frightmare a spear. Ophidian puts Brad in a trance, but Chad gives Ophidian the Code Breaker. The Badd Boyz hit the clothesline/chop block combo on Amasis. Hallowicked gives Chad the Rydeen Bomb and Frightmare follows with the kneecolepsy for two as Brad breaks the count. Frightmare backflips out of a clothesline from Brad and gives him a neckbreaker. F.I.S.T. give Frightmare a double powerbomb. Akuma drops Frightmare on his knees and Icarus drops Frightmare with an EVO. Akuma kicks Ophidian in the head. The Portal give Akuma the Pyramid suplex off the top rope for two. Amasis gets sent to the floor by Icarus. Ophidian gets sent to the floor. Icarus looks for a dive but eats a Big Boot by Hallowicked for the pin at 16:44. CHIKARA has been on fire with Atomicos matches for the better part of the past year and this was no exception. All eight combatants really brought it to this match and provided a fun action-packed outing. ***1/2

The Throwbacks cut a promo about how Dunkerton is insulted by the Brüderschaft and that he’s worked hard for their points. He says it’s destiny for the Throwbacks to beat the Brüderschaft so nobody should call it an upset when it happens.

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton) vs. The Brüderschaft (Claudio Castagnoli & Ares)

The Throwbacks try to rush the BDK, but they turn the tables immediately. Dunkerton dropkicks Claudio to the floor and trips Ares on the ropes. Dunkerton and Hatfield each drop their posteriors on Ares neck on the ropes. The Throwbacks gives Ares a double flapjack for two. Dunkerton runs over Ares till Claudio knees him in the back. Dunkerton trips Ares and drops on him with a senton splash for two. Hatfield tags in, and Ares trips him face first. Claudio comes in and gets rolled up for two. Hatfield uses the ropes to get a headlock. Dunkerton tags in and give Claudio a double Manhattan drop. Dunkerton gives Claudio a Baisaku knee for two. Claudio gets a double hip toss and Hatfield gives him a baseball slide for two. Claudio pushes Hatfeild into the corner, and then Claudio blasts him with a forearm. The BDK work over Hatfield until he dives onto Claudio on the floor. Dunkerton comes in and drops Ares face first with a flatliner for two. Hatfield goes up top as Dunkerton sets Ares on his shoulders. They look for the Slam Dunk, but Claudio comes in. Ares pushes Hatfield off, and he eats Claudio’s bicycle kick for two. Dunkerton prevents him from giving Hatfield the Ricola Bomb. Dunkerton gives Ares a series of punches, and Ares pokes Dunkerton in the eyes. Claudio throws Dunkerton down by his hair, and now it’s his turn to be beat down by Claudio and Ares in the corner. Hatfield made a tag when Claudio had Dunkerton in his arms, but the referee missed it. Dunkerton kicks Ares as he comes at him in the corner. He sends Claudio to the floor and gives Ares an enzugiri. Claudio pulls Hatfield off the apron. Ares drops Dunkerton with a Tiger Driver for the pin at 10:39. Claudio and Ares have their first point after another fun match. Claudio and Ares pulled out some awesome double team moves and certainly come off as being the strongest duo in the company. The Throwbacks also looked crisper than ever and had their strongest outing to date. **3/4

Tim Donst is backstage and says that Lince Dorado told him about a blog that Player Uno posted saying that he hates Donst for what he did to Hydra and Player Dos. Donst says he thinks Uno really hates him because Donst was the only one out of him and Uno who was man enough to do something about it when his tag parenter defeated him in the Young Lions Cup tournament. Donst says he won’t tap to the Joystick again tonight, and he’ll make Uno snap.

Young Lions Cup
Tim Donst (Champion) vs. Player Uno

Uno charges at Donst, who hides in the ropes. Donst elbows Uno from behind and Uno comes off the ropes with a forearm and chops. Uno sends Donst to the floor with a hadouken. Uno chases him around and back in the ring. Donst miss an elbow drop and Uno drapes Donst’s arm across the top rope. Uno headbutts Donst’s shoulder as it’s tied up in the ropes.Uno gives Donst’s a Code Breaker on his arm. Donst throws Uno face first into the top turnbuckle. Donst chokes Uno with his boot. Donst twists on Uno’s nipples in the corner before choking him with his boot. Donst applies a cross arm breaker. Donst releases when Uno grabs the ropes. They go to the floor where Donst attacks Uno. Donst hits a polish hammer on the ring post. Uno kicks away at Donst in the corner and lays in some strikes. Uno forearm splashes Donst in the corner. Donst applies a rear-naked choke. Uno gives Donst’s arm a stunner. Uno drops Donst back with his arm across his neck. Donst folls to the floor, and Uno gives him a tope. Back in the ring, Uno gives Donst a double axe handle on his bad arm. Uno rolls up Donst in La Magistral for two. Uno calls for the Joystick, and Donst prawn holds him for two. Donst comes off the ropes with a bulldog. He follows with an STO for two. Donst eats Uno’s knees as he comes off the top with a splash. Uno locks on the Hydralock. Uno stops a low blow and drops Donst with a DDT for two. Uno twists Donst’s arm in a hammerlock. Donst gets his foot on the rope to escape. Uno rocks Donst with a pair of punches for two. Donst spits in Uno’s face, but his mask makes it so there’s no effect. Donst catches Uno off the ropes with the Donstitution. Donst hits another one for two. Donst gives Uno the SDT for the pin at 11:58. I enjoyed the match, but it seemed like all that work on Donst’s arm didn’t amount to anything. The Joystick was never fully applied, and it didn’t prevent Donst from using the Inverted CHIKARA Special (not that he attempted it, but you catch my drift). That aside, this was a good Cup defense and was much better than their match at “Three-Fisted Tales” (granted it was much longer). ***

Eddie Kingston backstage says that he gives Tursas credit for not budging on any strikes; he likes that Tursas is a challenge. Kingston says tonight he’s going to move and feel some type of pain because he’s angry and deadly when he’s angry.

Eddie Kingston vs. Tursas

Kingston gives Tursas a Yakuza to start. Kingston peppers Tursas with strikes to no effect. Kingston hits the ropes and Tursas body blocks Kingston a couple times. Tursas gives Kingston a forearm. Tursas splashes Kingston in the corner. Tursas slams Kingston. Kingston slaps Tursas as Tursas yells “fight me” at him. Kingston locks for a Back Drop Drvier to no avail. Tursas gives Kingston a big German suplex. Tursas misses a splash in the corner. Kingston chops Tursas over and over in the corner. Claudio Castagnoli emerges ringside, and Kingston dives through the middle rope onto him. Claudio trips Kingston on the apron. Tursas gives Kingston a splash off the second rope for the pin at 3:49. I was really annoyed that Kingston lost this match, but at least their was interference. There really wasn’t much to this match outside of these two guys wailing on each other which is all well in good. N/R

Mike Quackenbush and The Future Is Now (Jigsaw, Equinox, & Helios) vs. The UnStable (Vin Gerard, STIGMA, & Colin Delaney) & Brodie Lee

Equinox and Gerard start. Equinox goes to the floor and Equinox calls him a chicken. Quack then comes in and Gerard knees him in the gut. Quack gives Gerard a leg lariat and double knees to the chest. Gerard rolls out but then comes back in holding his gut. Quack drops Vin with a toe hold and Jigsaw hops in with a legdrop. STIGMA and Delaney attack them from behind. Lee and Equinox are in as the legal men. Lee and Equinox hug as they’re old buddies. Lee then goes for an attack. Equinox ducks a Big Boot but Lee chops him to the floor. Jigsaw comes off the top with a dropkick to Lee. Jigsaw comes out of the corner with a hurricanrana to the floor. STIGMA comes in and trades forearms with Jigsaw. Delaney kicks Jigsaw in the back on the apron. Jigsaw gives STIGMA a rana and a pair of kicks to the chest. Jigsaw suplexes him and Quack hops in with a senton. STIGMA ducks a palm strike and forearms Quack. STIGMA sunset flips Quack, and Jigsaw comes off with a crossbody. Jigsaw then headscissors STIGMA down. Delaney runs in and gets a Manhattan Drop from Quack. Quack steps on Delaney’s toe and wipes his leg out. Jigsaw and Quack double team Delaney. Helios comes in with an alita and a hurricanrana. Delaney knees Helios in the gut. Helios gives him a Baisaku knee. Jigsaw comes in with Gerard. STIGMA knees Jigsaw in the back, and Gerard gives him an STO. The Rudos squadron isolate Jigsaw from his team to maximize punishment. Quack breaks up the showboating of The UnStable, allowing Jigsaw to go to the floor. Quack pays the price by taking Jigsaw’s place in the Rudos onslaught. Quack comes back against Delaney and rolls him up for two after Jigsaw gives him a forearm. Quack takes Delaney over in a side headlock but gets a chin breaker from Delaney. Delaney goes up top and Quinox blocks him. Quack goes to the floor to tag in Equinox. He knocks down STIGMA and Gerard. He swipes Delaney as he comes off the top rope and gives him a deadlift Overbomb. STIGMA chop blocks Equinox in his bad leg and gives him a kneeDT. The Rudos take turns working over Equinox’s bad leg. Equinox and Delaney knock each other down with double clotheslines. Jigsaw tags in and fights off Delaney and Gerard. Lee sends Jigsaw to the floor and follows with a tope onto the entire Tecnico squadron. Lee rolls Helios into the ring and the Rudos stomp away at him. Helios gets mauled by the Rudos, until he takes out STIGMA and Delaney. Helios then gives Brodie a hurricanrana. Helios Tiger Walks Delaney and Gerard accidentally clothesline him. Helios gives Delaney and Gerard a 619. Helios goes to the floor as do all the Rudos. Quack, Jigsaw, and Equinox hit stereo dives to the floor. Lee gives Helios a Bossman Slam and Jigsaw breaks the count. Delaney gives Jigsaw the Code Breaker and Lee gives him a suplex. Lee pops up Equinox into a hurricanrana. Quack kicks Lee in the face. Equinox punchs STIGMA off the apron to the floor. Equinox hops in and Delaney catches him in a DDT for two. Delaney calls for the Future Endeavor, but Quack and Jigsaw give him a double superkick. Quack and Jigsaw double team Gerard. Equinox and Helios disposes of STIGMA. Helios gives Lee a DDT and Quack follows with a Swanton bomb for two. Delaney comes in as Lee rolls to the floor. Delaney eats a palm strike, and Quack drops him with the Quackendriver I for the pin at 21:35. Somehow, they managed to out do the previous Atomico. This was an awesome match with the UnStable looking the best they ever have as a trio in CHIKARA. It sucks that they lost (as they’ve become the designated Rudo jobbers) because they worked harder and looked their best here. Equinox also looks great after coming back from his bad ankle injury. Lots of good things to say for this match, and for sure worth checking out. ***3/4

The show ends with Quack’s teams shaking hands and celebrating with the fans.

Make sure to check out my blog for loads of other CHIKARA DVD reviews!

The 411: The Atomicos matches on this were crazy good, and everything else was really fun. The Reading crowd has usually been a good one, and it's nice to see they're actually in a good venue now. I recommend this as aside from the good wrestling, it's a breeze to get through and has a lot of great humor as well.
Final Score:  7.8   [ Good ]