411’s WCW Starrcade Report 12.17.00

WCW Starrcade Report 12.17.00
Live from Washington DC
Announcers are Tony, Mark, Scott
Report by Rejected Wids

Some video packages and stuff.

Ladder Match
2count vs. Karagias/Knoble vs. Jung Dragons
Here comes Chavo using Eddie’ old music to announce. Winner here gets a cruiserweight title shot by grabbing an envelope hung about the ring. Shannon and Kaz to start. Mark trying to put over the cruiserweight division. Yang is in against Shane. Ladder is into the ring, and the Dragons start flying with the ladder and stuff. Shane brings a second ladder into the ring. Ladder set up in the corner, Ks send Shannon into it. Now drop Kaz on the ladder too. They clear the ring, go for the ladder, but they push and shove until Yang returns to the ring with a slingshot dropkick. 2count is back into the ring, they toss Yang to the floor. Shane with a suicide somersault dive onto Yang on the floor. Kaz flies at Shane. Evan with a plancha. Moonsault by Shannon. Jamie climbs the ladder, gets to the top, Yang tips the ladder over and Jamie falls to the floor onto the pile of guys. Evan is back up and Dragons all into the ring. They set up a ladder and then put the other ladder resting on the top rope and the first ladder. Shane flies at Evan from that horizontal ladder and hits a Fameasser. Shane climbs the upright ladder, Jamie climbs on the horizontal ladder. Shane hits a spinning neckbreaker on Jamie from the ladder structure. Bodies are all over the ring. Four guys climb both ladders. Shannon flights off Jamie, Yang fights off Shane. Shannon and Yang fight on the ladders. Shannon with a slam onto Yang and both fall down. Evan goes and gets a third ladder. Jamie climbs a ladder, Leia Meow stops him. Evan comes and makes the save. Kaz gets a fourth ladder. Evan with a backbreaker on Kaz. Evan climbs a ladder, Yang flies into him. Double team slam/powerbomb on Evan by the Dragons. “Criss cross powerbomb” says Hudson. The Dragons use all four ladders to build some sort of structure. 2count is up, they attack the Dragons. Ks are back in. Tombstone on Shannon by Jamie, Evan stomps Shane. Jamie climbs the ladders, Kaz does as well, they brawl. Kaz knocks down Jamie. Kaz off by Evan. Yang knocks off Evan and Evan hits the top rope hard and falls to the floor. Announcers actually doing a good job. Yang and Shane brawl on a horizontal ladder. Shane skins the cat under the horizontal ladder and rana’s Yang to the floor. Shane tosses Jamie off. Shane and Shannon on the ladder. They shake hands and they both grab the envelope.
Winners: Shane and Shannon

Lance Storm and Jim Duggan chat backstage. Storm says the US fans wont take him back, and he was close to a pink slip before Storm got him.

JJ and the Harrises talk to Sanders backstage.

Kronic are naked taking a steam. On the cell. Yuck.

Can I Be Serious For A Minute w/Team Canada vs. The Cat w/Miss Jones
Storm on the mic. Cat on the mic, says he represents the US and runs down Madden. Lockup. Some mat wrestling to start. Major Gunns grabs the Cat’s leg, and Storm takes control. Jones and Gunns have words on the floor. Storm and Cat to the floor, chicks into the ring. Storm breaks up the cat fight. Who is uglier, Miss Jones or Major Gunns? Storm goes back to work on the Cat as chicks clear out. USA chant as Storm in control. Cat with some kicks. Dances and splits, uppercut. PrimeTime trips up Cat, drags him to the floor for some clubberin’. Brawling on the floor, Jones mistakenly takes out ref and Gunns with a dropkick on Jones! Duggan comes down with the 2X4, goes to hit Storm, but drops it, hits the Cat and Storm gets the Mapleleaf.
Winner: Storm

Duggan shakes his head and leaves. PT and Storm beat down Duggan anyway. Cat saves Duggan? Cat’s music plays.

Buff is now a backstage interviewer. He babbles about something about his face being on TV. His first guests are the animals, and Kidman does the thumbs down raspberry! What is Konnan saying?

NBT confront Reno and Vito, Reno turns his back on the Thrillers.

Crowbar and Daffney argue about his 70s gimmick.

WCW Hardcore Title
Crowbar (c) vs. Terry Funk
As Crowbar walks to the ring, Funk attacks with a fire extinguisher. Funk in control, brawling backstage with Daffney screaming. Announcers mock Funk’s retirement matches. First was in 1983- the year of the first Starrcade. Funk puts Crowbar in a truck and they brawl in the truck. Crowbar takes control in the truck. Crowbar gets hip tossed out of the truck and through a table! Brawling through the back, Crowbar slams a door on Funk’s head! Funk fights back as Crowbar has handcuffs. Funk does the door slam spot over and over on Crowbar. Funk puts handcuffs on Crowbar. Chairshot. Funk has a car door and hits Crowbar with it as we return to the arena. To the ringside area. Funk puts Crowbar on a table on the floor, Daffney pulls him off. Crowbar takes control with distraction from Daffney. Funk on the table, Crowbar flies onto Funk and the table from the ring, cover for 2. Into the ring, chairshots by both. Funk hits Crowbar, who is handcuffed, with the chair again and covers.
Winner and NEW champ: Funk

Gene interviews Storm and PT. Lance runs down Duggan. Gunns grabs the mic, and flubs her only line “don’t blame fuh uh don’t uh don’t blame Canada, blame yourself.” Gene says something about fucking her.

Lex preps backstage. He has brass knucks.

A Pair Of Dice Rolling Stickball Bats vs. Kronic
Adams on the mic says they expect payment in full, little sister. If you may recall, I called Marie as the Kronic payer weeks ago! Kronic goes after Reno. And then Vito. Kronic in control. Clarke beats them down. Adams goes to Marie, he wants the money now. She acts like she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Vito goes to attack Adams, Clarke flies at him. Adams and Vito into the ring, Full Nelson Slam by Adams for 2. Kronic double team Vito. Belly to back by Clarke for 2. Snapmare and a well deserved rest hold. Thankfully, the NBT come out. Dropkick by Adams on Vito. Double teaming by Kronic. Finally Vito gets the hot tag! In comes Reno! And he ROLLS THE DICE ON VITO!!!
Reno covers Vito? Ref counts?
Winner: Reno!

Marie into the ring and she is confused. Reno goes to greet his NBT buddies. Reno tosses Kronic the money. I was wrong! I suck! It makes no sense after all! Kronic beats down Vito for fun.

Gene interviews 3count about the title shot. Chavo comes over and yells at them. He shows them the belt and says “oooh shiny” then beats them both.

Buff interviews MIA. Rection just screams for like a minute, then Buff laughs.

Ambulance Match
Bam Bam Bam vs. Mike Awesome
Awesome takes off 70s clothes and just has trunks on. BBB splashes Awesome in the corner. Brawling to the floor, BBB in early control. Bam has a chair and hits Awesome in the back. Awesome blocks a chair shot and brawls with BB close to the ambulance. BBB puts Awesome’s head into the ambulance, but he fights off. BBB punches through the small window on the back of the ambulance, and Awesome takes control. Back to the ring, BBB goes to work. DDT. Near the announce table. Announcers are pushing Awesome as the Career Killer again. Sets up a table on the floor. Brings BBB to the table. Awesome runs down the aisle at BBB, who backdrops Awesome through the table. BBB brings Awesome to the ambulance and slams him onto the hood. BBB rips off part of the ambulance and climbs onto the ceiling of the ambulance. Awesome uses a large metal piece of the ambulance to hit BBB, who falls back and through the roof of the ambulance! Cool spot!
Winner: Awesome

Gene interviews NBT and Reno. Reno says this is his real family. Sanders then talks about the Perfect Event. Chuck with mic time.

WCW US Title
General Rection (c) vs. Shane Douglas
Shane on the mic, babbles on and on about Torrie missing. Shane goes right to work with some stomps. Rection begins to no sell and goes to work with some chops. Rection almost takes out ref, he pauses, and Shane briefly takes control, splashed by Rection and rolls to the floor. Rection follows and brawls. Into the ring. Bear hug by Rection. Madden mentions Bruno. Is crowd chanting Goldberg? Rection with a pin attempt for 2. Shane starting to pass out. Shane dumps Rection in the corner. Reverse Snapmare spot by Shane. Piledriver by Shane. Swinging neckbreaker. Shane with a headlock of sorts. Shane in control. Rection rebounds, bodyslam, Shane rolls to floor, Rection follows. Back inside, Rection pounding on Shane. Bodyslam. Rection goes to the top. Moonsault, Shane moves. Shane has the CHAIN OF DEATH! Wraps it around his fist. Misses the punch, Rection hits a belly to back and Shane drops the chain. Chavo is here. Grabs the chain out of the ring, tosses it back to Shane, Chavo distracts the ref, then tells the ref about the chain.
Winner by DQ: Rection

Shane attacks after the match. Franchiser on Rection. And Chavo. Other MIA make the save.

Gene interview Steiner

Glacier Promo.

Buff interviews DDP and Nash. Barf city, these guys all suck. Nash does some impression of someone I don’t know of. DDP says they have been trying to hold them down for years. Huh? Nash says Buff looks “Buff Masterson” whatever that means.

Filthy Animals Street Fight Bunkhouse Match
The Chosen One and the Harris Boyz vs. Jacked Up Termites
Thankfully JJ has a mic. He has alllll the stroke around here. JJ says Southern Justice! Hudson calls them the “Nashville World Order” as Tygress joins the announce table. Brawling everywhere with weapons. Kidman and Rey double slam JJ through a “bar” which is a table, in the ring. Cover but Heavy D makes the save. Animals in full control here. Rey has a sign, sit out splash on the sign on Harris. Cool spots by Kidman and Rey on the Harrises. Kidman flies onto a Harris on the floor. JJ and Rey in the ring, Rey with a bulldog. JJ powerbombs Rey into a dumpster on the floor. Kidman with a cross body on JJ for 2. Konnan into the ring, ref stop him for some reason. Huh? JJ goes to work on Kidman. Match settles down? A Harris goes to work on Kidman. JJ and Chosen One all over Kidman. Long beatdown. Tornado bulldog. Both down… who will make the tag? Both, Konnan is in and is your house a fire. Rolling thunder on JJ, on a Harris. On the other. Rey has a broom, double broom shot from the top on the Harrises. Rey puts JJ on a table, Harrises back up, powerbomb Rey through the table. Kidman hits a powerbomb on JJ. Kid Crusher on JJ!!! Kidman brings him to the corner! WOW could we see the shooting star press? Darn, Harris hits Kidman with a bottle, he falls down, JJ hits the Stroke.
Winners: JJ and Harrises

Buff interviews SARGE who babbles for a while until Lex attacks him.

WCW Tag Titles
Insiders vs. Perfect Event (c)
Flair comes out and tells Sanders that he better not get involved in the match. Chuck and Nash to start, Chuck with some punches in the corner, Nash reverses and sends Chuck into the other corner. Tag to Page, and Chuck rolls to the floor. Page goes after Shawn and they go back and forth. Madden calls him DDMe and Tony yells at him. Shawn takes control. Belly to belly by Page for 2. DDP hits a chokeslam for 2. TPE double team. Belly to belly by Chuck. Page in peril. Page finally starts to fight back, and headbutt to the groin sends both men down. Chuck tagged in, and goes to work. Both down now, and DDP needs a tag. Nash is in, and clears house. Big boot. Sidewalk slam. Crowd is hot for Nash. Clotheslines Shawn to the floor. Big boot to Chuck. Sanders low blows Page on the floor. Nash goes for powerbomb on Chuck, Shawn comes from the top and clotheslines Nash, Chuck covers for 2. Sander on the apron, Nash distracted, Shawn hits Nash with a title belt. Chuck goes to cover Nash, DDP cuts Shawn on the floor. O’Haire is here, takes out Page on the floor. Goes to the top for the Seanton, but Page crotches him. Chuck pounds on Nash in the ring, but Nash hits the big boot. Nash straps are down! Powerbomb on Chuck.
Winners and NEW Champs: Insiders

Nash on your mic. Hey yo- we got’em again. Damn, look at Nash’s gut.

Goldberg vs. Horseface Lex
Michael buffer is here to earn his money. Why even bring him out if he’s only going to say “let’s bring it on.” Brawling begins at the announce position. And around the ring. Happy Hannukah Goldberg sign. Into the ring. Goldberg in control. Luger rolls to the floor, and does the “I’m done” hand motion. Goldberg follows. Luger goes to work on Goldberg. Goldberg fights back. Here comes SARGE and Buff is following to talk him out of it. Luger double axes Goldberg in the ring. Goldberg with a flying shoulder block. Goldberg up, goes for spear, but Luger pulls the ref in front, Goldberg stops. Luger hits SARGE from the ring. Luger hits Goldberg with brass knucks while Buff talks to ref. Luger covers, kick out. Buff like a moron is in the ring. Blockbuster on Goldberg! Luger tosses Buff to the floor? Signals for the torture rack. Goldberg holds onto the ropes to block the rack. Fights back. Swinging neckbreaker. Buff takes out SARGE on the floor. Spear on Luger. Buff chokes Sarge. Goldberg doesn’t pay attention. Jackhammer.
Winner: Goldberg

After the match, Buff hits Goldberg with a chair.

Steiner promo

WCW World Title
Goddammit It’s Sid vs. Big Poppa Pump (c)
They go right at it. Sid in pants, is he always? Steiner goes to work on Sid in the corner. Announcers say Sid has been gone from WCW since April 10, which is of course false. Sid goes to work, side suplex, cover for not even 1 and Steiner rolls to the floor for Midajah lovin’. Steiner back in, wants a test of strength. Steiner actually powers down Sid! Madden does the “see the powah” thing which I hate. Sid drawing power from his fans. Sid powers out. Legdrop for 2. Big boot by Sid. Clotheslines Steiner to the floor. Midajah uses the STEEEEEL pipe on Sid’s back. Steiner uses a chair on the floor. Steiner tells some fans “fuck you” on camera. Steiner stomps Sid in the ring. Clothesline and biceps kiss elbow drop and pushups. Backbreaker by Steiner. Poses. Crowd is popping some for Steiner. Sid tries to get up, Steiner kicks him down. Belly to belly. Steiner says that’s it. Recliner! Sid near the ropes. Grabs the ropes. Suplex by Steiner. Recliner again more in the center of the ring. Sid moving around. His hand is up and he does the “fans talk to me” hand motion. Midajah up top, Sid moves, cross body on Steiner! Sid is up, Steiner is up. Chokeslam! Sid can’t cover. Finally does, and Steiner kicks out. Hudson wonders what left in their arsenal. Steiner Screwdriver? I can only wish. Sid locks in the cobra clutch, Steiner flails his arms and knocks out the ref. Cobra clutch slam. Steiner has the pipe, Midajah distracts, and Steiner clocks Sid. Steiner uses it again and again. Here is another ref, cover but Sid kicks out! Yay here comes the Chosen One! Goes for a kabong on Sid, Sid moves, Steiner gets hit with the guitar! Sid covers, JJ pulls out the ref. Ref gets pissed, goes back into the ring and counts, but Steiner kicks out. Sid goes for powerbomb, penis uppercut by Steiner. T bone by Steiner. A third Recliner in the middle of the ring. Sid reaches for the ropes, can’t get there. Ref calls it off.
Winner and STILL champ: Steiner