411 Fact or Fiction 05.23.12: Cena/Ryback, Axel, Summer, More

Hi, hello & welcome to 411 Fact or Fiction! I’m Steve Cook, and it’s been another crazy week in the world of professional wrestling Extreme Rules happened, and the one thing lacking from the John Cena vs. Ryback match was a finish that pleased the audience. You know what that means…the feud must continue! Raw featured Paul Heyman introducing the newest Paul Heyman guy…Curtis Axel! His main event match with Triple H was overshadowed by whatever Triple H was doing at the end of the match. The latest IWC rumor is that Antonio Cesaro doesn’t get pushed by WWE because they think he’s boring. Summer Rae as Fandango’s dance partner…well that’s not very boring. Or is it? If James Storm is healthy enough to compete at Slammiversary he will have a mystery partner. Matt Hardy was awarded a ROH title shot. Kane denied rumors that he is running for office.

I’ve invited two of 411’s finest to discuss these topics. Introducing first, the man that gets re-tweeted more than any other 411 staff member during Raw…Ryan Byers!

His opponent is the man behind the MMA Zone’s version of Fact or Fiction. I’m holding out of that column because the readers screwed me over the last time I was involved. Give it up for Wyatt Beougher!

Questions were sent out Monday.

Participants were told to expect wrestling-related questions.

1. You’re looking forward to the continuation of the John Cena vs. Ryback feud.

Ryan Byers: FICTION. Whether it’s as a heel or as a babyface, Ryback has never really done anything for me. I know that people like to compare him to Bill Goldberg or the Ultimate Warrior, but, honestly, he’s a couple of steps below Goldberg and Warrior as a performer in the ring because, even though they weren’t particularly smooth wrestlers technically, they at least had an explosiveness, an intensity, and an in-ring charisma that made them exciting to watch. Ryback just sort of plods along not doing anything particularly impressive until he picks somebody heavy up for his finisher. He’s not late 1990s Bill Goldberg, he’s late 1990s Lex Luger . . . and nobody wants to watch late 1990s Lex Luger doing anything. On the other side of the coin, though I tend to like John Cena a lot more than many people on the internet do, he feels like he’s accomplished everything that he can possibly do in wrestling now that he’s feuded with and defeated the Rock. So, you’ve got one guy who is not and has never been particularly good feuding with another guy who feels worn out. That’s not compelling television.

Wyatt Beougher: FACT. But only because that means it’ll eventually end, right? I truly enjoy Ryback (though his promo from RAW needed some work), and while the stylized R beanie certainly makes it seem like they had to give him something easier than “airbrushed ninja turtle singlet” (that’s how my fiancee described his Wrestlemania attire this year) to put on the side plates of the new title, I just don’t see him going over when this is over. Throw in the fact that Monday night’s continuation of the feud was the same (in spirit anyway) as the Cena/Kane feud from not all that long ago, and I just don’t trust WWE creative to do anything worthwhile with whatever’s left of this angle. Oh, well, at least he’s not getting buried by HHH, right?

Score: 0 for 1

2. Curtis Axel will get over with Paul Heyman by his side.

Ryan Byers: FICTION. I have to admit that I was a little bit surprised by all of the internet wrestling fans who crawled out of the woodwork on Monday night and proclaimed themselves to be huge Michael McGillicutty fans, even though they had never said anything particularly positive about him before. Given that fact, there apparently is a group of people out there who will get behind the guy solely because he is now being accompanied to the ring by Paul Heyman. However, I seriously doubt that the masses will take to him as a top level star, no matter how hard Paul E. tries. Don’t get me wrong, I think that Heyman is one of the five best managers in the history of professional wrestling and that his working with McGillicutty will allow McGillicutty to go further than he would otherwise. I just don’t think that, regardless of who winds up in his corner, Curt Hennig’s kid has “it.” He’s a solid in-ring performer and doesn’t embarrass himself on the microphone, but his look is fairly generic and there’s not anything about his personality or his matches that sets him apart from the pack. He’s got the makings of a good, solid upper-midcard level wrestler but not the chops to be as big as the other members of Paul Heyman’s managerial stable.

Wyatt Beougher: FACT. Sadly, Curtis Axel could already be over, if only they’d have booked his stuff on RAW slightly differently. (Y’know, like actually putting Axel over instead of letting the Haitches dominate him, only to succumb to delayed-reaction Borking from the night before.) However, things went down like they did, and the only reason I’ve actually put this as a FACT is because supposedly both HHH and the Rock are behind his push. If Joe Hennig can bring the greatest rivals of the post-Stone Cold-era together, then I’m more than willing to give him a chance, especially if having Paul Heyman as his mouthpiece means we’ll never have to hear another “Genesis of McGillicutty” promo.

In all seriousness, Axel has the wrestling pedigree, the look that Vince likes (and presumably his son-in-law does, as well), and the best manager in the business today at his side. If that’s not enough to get him over, well, I guess we can hold out hope that HHH will rectify his screw-up from Monday night and actually put Axel over and make him look like the star that they want him to be.

Score: 0 for 2

3. The angle with Triple H at the end of Raw will lead to something interesting.

Ryan Byers: FICTION. The word on the street is this is all going to lead to HHH’s retirement as an in-ring performer. If you take that sentence out of context, it sounds as though it could be a compelling angle, as is normally the case when long-term characters are forced to hang up the boots. Unfortunately, in order to answer this question, we have to put the sentence in its proper context. When we do that, the prospects of the angle don’t seem so great. Why? Because we’re building to a Triple H retirement angle WHEN WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN TRIPLE H RETIRE. They already did a very similar angle after Brock Lesnar defeated Trips at Summerslam, only for the Game to come out of retirement to put his career on the line in the rematch at Wrestlemania. (Yes, you read that correctly, he came out of retirement for the purpose of putting his career on the line.) It just feels like a retread, so I’m not particularly interested in it . . . especially since I feel like I’ve seen the H’s in just about every type of angle imaginable after almost twenty years of watching him wrestle.

Wyatt Beougher: FICTION. Unless it actually leads to HHH putting Hennig over cleanly at some point in the very near future, followed by his permanent and complete retirement, I don’t care about any of this. To me, it just reeks of the new boss burying yet another promising young talent. I’m in the very vocal category of wrestling fans who believes HHH is the worst thing to happen to wrestling in the past 20 years, and his completely debilitating slap of Curtis Axel that left him lying on the mat unable to get up until HHH grunted out the rest of his boring threats to Heyman instantly brought back the time that he delivered a low blow to Big Show that left him doubled over for approximately 47 minutes so that Helmsley could recover, get up, and apply the world’s slowest Pedigree to win the title again. It’s that kind of shit that makes me wish he’d just go away. I was reading some of the comments from the Boss’ Tremendous Tirades column covering Monday’s RAW, and the prescience of one of the commenters was truly outstanding. He was summing up the HHH/Sheamus feud and how it was a perfect microcosm of Triple H working with pretty much any new guy – the new guy, no matter what his history is or how hard he’s being pushed when he squares off against HHH, the best that he can hope to do is survive, because he’s not coming out of it looking any better. It’s that kind of vitriolic build-up, combined with the fact that the WWE has done so poorly at building new stars in large part because of their unwillingness to make guys like Triple H, Cena, et al, look even remotely vulnerable, that makes me believe Monday’s show-ending angle is just going to lead to more of the same.

Score: 1 for 3

4. Antonio Cesaro is boring.

Ryan Byers: FICTION. I actually went back and forth as to how to answer this question. It might be somewhat controversial to say this, but, as a character, Antonio Cesaro IS boring. That’s not the fault of the performer, though. That’s the fault of a creative team that has given his character no motivation aside from being Generic Foreign Heel #5,342. Granted, the man behind the character, Claudio Castagnoli, has proven in other promotions that he can be a compelling, definitely not boring personality, but that’s not what we’re getting in WWE. The reason that I ultimately went with “Fiction” even though his current character has all the flavor of month-old Cream of Wheat is that, no matter how you try to spin it, you can’t call Cesaro boring when it comes to his performances in between the ropes. He has a unique repertoire of moves, an uncanny sense of timing as it relates to when to hit those moves, and freakish strength that allows for some impressive visuals in his matches. I just hope that he doesn’t get buried so far underground that fans start to ignore his matches no matter how good they are.

Wyatt Beougher: FICTION. I’m actually sad that this is something that I have to respond to. Cesaro is extremely skilled in the ring and has transitioned to “WWE Style” as well as any known Indy guy, he started off with a great gimmick and a nice push, only to be left floundering because the E’s (not-so-) creative team couldn’t come up with anything for him. And now we hear that he’s boring? Because flawlessly playing his character and putting on solid or better matches with everyone he steps into the ring with is boring, apparently. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s got no backstage heat with anyone, to the best of my knowledge.

Tell me this – why isn’t Cesaro feuding with Cena right now, instead of Ryback? Remember when Ryback struggled to Shellshock Tensai on RAW a while back? That same episode, Cesaro easily Neutralized Brodus Clay, he’s better on the mic than Ryback in five different languages, AND he’s got natural charisma by the bucket load. The fact that anyone backstage finds him less compelling than the guy currently feuding with the face of the company speaks volumes as to how much is wrong in the WWE today.

Score: 2 for 4

SWITCH!

5. You like Summer Rae as Fandango’s dance partner.

Wyatt Beougher: FACT. Let me start by saying that Ann Dango (the thus-far unnamed brunette who debuted with Dirty Curty) is VASTLY superior to Summer Rae in nearly every way. She could be this generation’s Miss Elizabeth. So why did I say FACT, then? Simple – Summer Rae is a worker who is under full-time contract, which means she can play a more physical role in angles (Jericho/random diva vs Fandango/Summer is sure to be in the pipe) and she doesn’t have to be substituted out due to scheduling conflicts. For those reasons, I’m giving Summer the nod over a woman I believe to be her better.

Ryan Byers: FICTION. She’s really just . . . there. Not good, not bad, just . . . there. Ask me if I like her when she’s actually done something noteworthy.

Score: 2 for 5

6. James Storm’s mystery partner at Slammiversary will not be his former partner in America’s Most Wanted, “Wildcat” Chris Harris.

Wyatt Beougher: FACT. All the WWE defectors these days join Aces & 8’s, right? If Harris comes out, he’ll turn on Storm and join A&8 as a pledge. But that’s lazy, uninspired booking and TNA NEVER does that, right? In all honesty, I have no idea who Storm’s tag team partner will be, and while an in-shape Harris would be the optimal choice, I have my doubts about TNA giving the fans what they want.

Ryan Byers: FACT. Most people reading this will know that I’m far, far out of touch with the world of TNA, but I do remember reading about the last time that the company brought Chris Harris out of the mothballs, in 2011 for a tag team title match partnering with Matt Hardy against Beer Money. If I remember correctly, Beer wound up pinning Harris in a fairly unremarkable match. The reviews for Harris were poor, as he was out of shape and not nearly as athletic as he used to be, similar to the criticisms that he received for his short-lived WWE run as “Knock Knock” Braden Walker. Given that they’ve already done it once without any particular success, I can’t imagine TNA doing the same thing again. Besides, it has now been SEVEN YEARS since America’s Most Wanted was together as a regular tag team, so we’re probably to the point that a reunion between the two wrestlers would be virtually meaningless, particularly in light of the fact that the TNA audience during AMW’s glory days was a fair amount smaller than the promotion’s current audience.

Score: 3 for 6

7. Matt Hardy should win the ROH Championship.

Wyatt Beougher: FICTION. Sure, his brother did fine as TNA champion after having similar and repeated issues, and while I thought Matt was the more talented Hardy brother prior to losing his mind, I just don’t see what Hardy winning the ROH strap does for Hardy OR for ROH. Sure, the vast majority of the talent from ROH’s heyday have moved to greener pastures, but Hardy’s reputation is still damaged goods, so I think it’s better for ROH to keep Hardy around and make him a credible title challenger but ensure that he just falls short of the title every time. In MMA, Kenny Florian and (of late) Chael Sonnen have made careers of doing exactly that.

Ryan Byers: FACT. The recent incident involving Ring of Honor Champion Jay Briscoe, his threat to murder those who support gay marriage, and the even more embarrassing fake “apologies” that both he and the company issued makes me sick to my stomach, particularly in light of the fact that there has been a recent uptick in stories about physical violence directed towards gay men in major metropolitan areas. It’s embarrassing and the last straw when it comes to me caring about Ring of Honor. They’re about as dead to me as TNA is these days. Given all of that, I don’t particularly care who the promotion’s champion is, but I will still say that anything would be an improvement over Jay Briscoe, even if it is the sometimes-less-than-stable Matt Hardy. Besides, ROH is no longer being booked or presented like an independent professional wrestling company. It’s being booked and presented like a lower tier national promotion, and having a former WWE star running around with the championship fits with that motif much better than a homegrown talent holding it does.

Score: 3 for 7

8. Glenn “Kane” Jacobs should run for political office.

Wyatt Beougher: FACT. Sure, why not? After all, it’s not like he’d be the first pro grappler ever to throw his hat into the political ring. With success stories like Jesse Ventura blazing the trail, Jacobs would be in good company if he were to be elected. Even if not, he’d join Linda McMahon as a wrestling personality who unsuccessfully campaigned for office, which isn’t bad for a guy who was both Fake Diesel and a wrestling dentist before his current gimmick. Hell, Abraham Lincoln was a catch-as-catch-can wrestler before embarking on his political career, so maybe someday our grandchildren will be learning about President Jacobs in school.

Ryan Byers: FACT. Given his stated political beliefs, Kane would most likely be running as a libertarian. Given my own political leanings, I would be highly unlikely to vote for him if he were running in a race in which I could participate . . . and, actually, that’s true of the vast majority of Americans. (In the last presidential election, the national libertarian candidate earned less than 1% of the popular vote.) So, if he runs, he’s unlikely to actually hold office, unless it’s something small on a local level. He’s also unlikely to have a large enough outlet for his views that he’d be able to significantly contribute to any political discourse during his campaign. After considering all of the foregoing, I still say that he should run just because it would be very surreal and entertaining to see a pro wrestler whose character has one of the least realistic, most convoluted backstories of all time seek a very serious position in the world. At the very least, it would be deserving of a Daily Show segment.

Final Score: 4 for 8

Ryan & Wyatt agree half of the time. Which half of the column do you agree with more? Let us know down in the comment section! Thanks to both men for participating, and see y’all next week for more Fact or Fiction!

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