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100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA When Nature Calls & Back in the Habit
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Toronto, ONT- 7.23.2016
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Scott Holiday.
Kobald vs. Evil Uno
Uno baits Kobald into throwing a clothesline. It backfires, as Uno ducks and takes Kobald over with a backdrop and two fireman’s carry’s. Kobald tries one of his own, but Uno bites his hand and delivers a third fireman’s carry. Kobald does some damage to Uno’s stomach but can barely budge him with a running shoulder block. Kobald slaps Uno in the face. Uno’s own shoulder block is successful. He punches Kobald before sending him outside with a clothesline. Uno gets in some chops, but ends up hitting his hand on a ring post. Kobald shoves Uno into the post. Uno finds himself in a chair, and Kobald follows in with a running seated senton. Kobald gets in some shots back in the ring. Uno bites Kobald, causing Kobald to dig his fingers into Uno’s eyes. He snapmares Uno into a trifecta of running elbow drops for two. He taunts the crowd, allowing Uno to schoolboy him for one. Uno’s stomach makes it difficult for him to lift Kobald. Kobald kicks him in the stomach and double stomps his ribs. A standing seated splash to the chest yields another two count. Uno chops Kobald from the canvas. Kobald stomps on his hand and slaps him in the face again. Uno blocks a kick and uses the referee for an assisted neckbreaker. He splashes Kobald in opposite corners. He flips Kobald out of a belly-to-back suplex. Kobald rolls to the floor. Kobald evades a dive and drives his shoulder into Uno’s ribs. Uno catches a crossbody and gives Kobald a waterwheel slam on the apron! In the ring, Kobald avoids a double stomp. He spears Uno and goes up top. Uno cuts Kobald off with a punch. Kobald is able to send Uno back down to the mat and hit the Demon’s Toilet for the pin at 11:06. This was effective in establishing Kobald’s aggressive nature. His offense look refined, clean, and effective. I really liked how both Uno’s accidental chop into the ring post and the wearing down of his ribs by Kobald played into the finish. This actually may have been the most built-up the Demon’s Toilet has ever been. Uno looked great in the match too, and even if this match doesn’t yield a full CHIKARA return, it was a fun one-off.
Vlad Radinov introduces The Big Deal, the former Hornswoggle who for weeks has been hyped up on CHIKARA’s social media. He is flanked by two men who serve as his security guards: Rick Roland (Rex Lawless) and Sloan Caprice (Mike Verna). The following trios match is their debut as a triumvirate and Roland and the Big Deal’s CHIKARA debut.
The Big Deal, Sloan Caprice & Rick Roland vs. Geddy Young, Justin Jepsen & Turner Bachman
Roland knocks the two non-legal men off the apron. The legal man gets his face rammed into the top turnbuckle repeatedly before being dropped in a full nelson slam. Roland Irish whips Caprice into the legal men for a forearm smash. Caprice then sends him into a boot from Roland. The two other men jump in the ring. Caprice holds them both. Roland gives one a rolling clothesline. He falls to the mat, and Caprice slams the other man onto him. They drag the legal man over to their corner. The Big Deal polishes him off with a Tadpole Splash for the pin at 2:01. This was designed to make Roland and Caprice look dominant and portray that they do the Big Deal’s bidding. Mission accomplished. ½*
The Big Deal gets on the microphone. Tonight he gets to knock CHIKARA off his bucket list. He has many names, but they know him as the Big Deal.
Officer Warren Barksdale is tired of Oleg the Usurper murdering, jay walking, and evading taxes. He’s going to “book” Oleg tonight.
Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Oleg the Usurper
Barksdale pats down Oleg in the corner. Oleg shoves him away, but Barksdale is able to pat him down mid-ring as he tries for a waistlock. Oleg bumps his away with his buttocks. Barksdale blocks a boot. He checks Oleg’s boot, but ends up getting booted by that foot anyhow. He drives his shoulder into Barksdale’s mid-section multiple times in the corner. The referee has Oleg break on his count. Barksdale blows his whistle, and the distraction allows him to roll-up Oleg for two. Oleg goes for a chokeslam, but instead rips the whistle off of Barksdale’s neck. He puts it in his mouth, so Barksdale kicks him in the stomach, causing Oleg to spit it out. While Barksdale puts the whistle back on, Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Oleg picks up more speed on the ropes, resulting in Barksdale issuing him a speeding ticket. Oleg rips up the ticket and shoves it in his mouth. Angry, Barksdale pulls out his handcuffs. Oleg Usurper kicks Barksdale and hits Off With His Head for the pin at 5:33. That was fun, albeit a little short. I can’t help but feel as if this was a step back for Barksdale after how well he did on the UK tour. Oleg should’ve won, but I was hoping we would have a more competitive affair after the comedy was done. Instead, it was all comedy. Maybe next time. *½
Princess Kimberlee, Heidi Lovelace, and Team Sea Stars are backstage. Heidi says that their opponents tonight were once their partners and friends, but they are no longer the same people. Kimberlee cuts her off to say that although the faces they see across the ring have stayed the same, the people themselves have changed. They will bring the fight to their former friends. Kimberlee says Team Sea Stars being new is a plus, as their opponents don’t know what they bring to the match. She claims that the four of them will take care of business.
Princess Kimberlee, Heidi Lovelace & Team Sea Stars (Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo) vs. Icarus, Mark Angelosetti & The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)
Angelosetti was “hexed” by UltraMantis Black in a post-credits scene from “Tightrope.” Despite getting her hair pulled, Kimberlee takes the opening exchange with Angelosetti by throwing multiple kicks to his head. Yet, he remains standing. She throws forearms against the ropes and knocks him down with a bicycle kick for two. Angelosetti drives Kimberlee into the corner with multiple shoulder blocks. A delay allows her to get in more forearms, but her running crossbody doesn’t budge Mr. Touchdown. He knocks all of Kimberlee’s partners off the apron before giving her a suplex. Vox dropkicks Angelosetti to stop his military press on Kimberlee. Obariyon comes in. Vox takes him to the corner with a headscissors. She scores a nearfall with a sunset flip, and again with a neckbreaker. Vox drop toe holds Obariyon into some kicks from Exo. Obariyon slides out after a leapfrog from Exo. Kodama jumps in from behind to attack and bites Exo on the forehead! Exo comes back with a superkick for two. She goes to the second rope, only for Kodama to pull her down by her leg and cause her to crash down into the mat. Icarus gives Exo a running knee drop to the chest. After some more shots on the mat, he throws Exo hair first back down to the canvas. Exo sneaks in a Russian leg sweep. Lovelace comes in, and tries talking to Icarus, her former partner and friend. It’s of no use, as Icarus tosses her down in the corners repeatedly. A slap to the face sets Lovelace straight, and she unloads with forearms to Icarus’ chest. The Nightmare Warriors get stacked up in the corner while their opponents keep splashing them. The Warriors clear the ring, leaving Exo as the unfortunate person to find herself trapped in the corner of the heXed men. Exo expertly evaded Angelosetti’s offense, and after a failed Flea Flicker, dropkicked him to the corner. Lovelace and Icarus tag in, where Icarus instantly mows her down with a clothesline. Lovelace finds herself at the mercy of the Warriors, as they take turns beating her down. Icarus tries talking Lovelace out of an attack, but she knees him in the face and delivers an enzuigiri. Kimberlee German suplexes Icarus. A Jon Woo dropkick and double knees to chest almost get three, but the Batiri break the cover. She fights them both off before taking a Manhattan drop/knee strike combo. Exo breaks the pin. Team Sea Stars give Obariyon a Heart Attack. Angelosetti and Icarus ram them together before delivering tandem fallaway slams. Icarus dropkicks Exo before feeding her into a spinebuster from Angelosetti. Lovelace breaks the pin just in time. She uses the ropes for a DDT on Obariyon. She tries the Heidi-Can-Rana but accidentally runs into Kimberlee! Lovelace goes back and eats the Skull Bronzing from the Batiri. Team Sea Stars clear the ring and with Kimberlee look to dive. Kobald jumps on the apron, but gets knocked down. Vox and Kimberlee get dragged to the floor. Angelosetti spins out Exo into a Colossal Bomb for the pin at 16:56. The slow burn of Lovelace and Kimberlee imploding is good. It’s subtle, but noticeable, and they’re figuring out new ways each month to tease the inevitable. Team Sea Stars had their moments to shine. Like Kobald, it was important for Angelosetti to establish his new, aggressive side, and he did so effectively, with a cool, powerful looking finisher. The interference was totally unnecessary and knocked the match down a peg, but this was a pretty fun Atomicos. Probably not the best this year, but good. **¾
Kimberlee holds the ropes for Lovelace, but Lovelace chooses to leave through a different side of the ring instead.
Moustache Mountain compliment one another’s facial hair. Trent Seven say they have a huge match before them tonight. They remind us that they made it to the semi-finals in last year’s King of Trios. Now, they’re looking for gold, and tonight they have the chance to earn all three points in one match. Seven says they will rise to the top.
Elimination Match
3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. Moustache Mountain (Tyler Bate & Trent Seven) vs. Hermit Crab & Rock Lobster
Crab forearms Ophidian after a lock-up. They shove each other with intensity, until Lobster and Matthews tag in. Lobster drags Matthews out of a lock-up twice. Matthews responds with armdrags and a dropkick. He takes Crab to the corner. He drop toe holds Crab into an elbow drop from Jagged. Jagged shoots Amasis to the ropes, but Lobster trips Amasis as he rebounds off the ropes. Amasis sends Lobster out and Pele kicks Crab. Amasis tornado DDT’s Lobster on the floor. Seven blocks Crab’s nerve pinch with a bodyslam. He slams both members of 3.0, then both members of the Portal on top of them. Seven and Bate then slam each other onto the pile. They look to slam an excited Bryce Remsburg onto the pile but the Crustaceans stop them and poke Moustache Mountain in the eyes. Ophidian runs in but is cut off with an elbow from the crab. Lobster quesadora’s Crab up into an elbow drop on Ophidian. Amasis tries to fight them off, but Lobster rolls him into a cutter on the middle rope. Crab hits a Naniwa elbow drop but Ophidian breaks the pin and gives Lobster a lungblower. Ophidian and Crab get in a scuffle on the mat. Ophidian hooks Crab’s arms and hooks him in a bridging backslide to pin and eliminate the Crustaceans at 7:43. This gives the Portal their third point. As Lobster argues with Bryce, Crab low blows Ophidian! Amasis checks on his partner. 3.0 send him out and jump on Ophidian, knocking Moustache Mountain off the apron in the process. Ophidian is bullied by 3.0, reminiscent of their Rudo yesteryears. A momentary distraction from Moustache Mountain gives Ophidian time to recover. He slips off Jagged’s shoulders and tags in Bate, who mows down 3.0 with running back elbows. He gives Jagged a double underhook backbreaker. Matthews accidentally elbows Jagged in the corner. Seven gives Matthews a running overhand chop. He drops Jagged with a Dragon suplex and piledriver for the pin at 11:51. The Portal get Bate to the floor before hitting Seven with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. Another double team combo leads to a nearfall, as Bate breaks it up. Bate tries a double team move, but Ophidian back slides Bate into a bridge for two. Ophidian clotheslines Bate to the floor. Amasis cracks Seven with the 540 kick. Ophidian follows up with Meteora. He misses a pescado onto Bate as Amasis comes off the top with a grazing double stomp to Seven. Bate jumps in to stop Amasis’ pinfall. Ophidian gives Bate a backbreaker. The Portal bring Seven off the top with the Pyramid Plex. Ophidian tope con hilo’s onto Bate. Amasis pins Seven for two. The Portal set up Seven for a tandem Egyptian Destroyer. Bate stops them, and Giant Swings Amasis while giving Ophidian an Airplane Spin. Bate stands on Seven’s back, looking for a chokeslam to Ophidian. Amasis jumps in, catching Ophidian on his shoulders. Mountain double chop Ophidian, resulting in Ophidian giving Amasis a reverse spike Frankensteiner! Seven piledrives Ophidian, rolling him into a Falcon Arrow from Bate for the pin at 17:03. I liked a lot in this match. Moustache Mountain looked terrific, defeating two sets of former Campeones de Parejas before facing the current champions later tonight. 3.0 revisited their Rudo roots, which could color their future, or serve as a one-off, as somebody had to play that role once the Crustaceans were eliminated. Either way, I liked it. Speaking of the Crustaceans, I really like the feud they’re building with Crab and Ophidian. Despite Lobster being the better of the two, Crab will only get better with experience, and Ophidian is the right guy to pair him against. All four teams served a purpose and played their roles very well. Good stuff. ***¼
Dasher Hatfield vs. Drew Gulak
The winner of this match will have three points and a shot at the Grand Championship. Both men break cleanly when they’re taken to a corner or use the ropes to escape a hold. Hatfield reverses a headlock from Gulak into a courting hold. Gulak turns it into a crucifix but Hatfield is too close to the ropes for a pin to be started. Out of a double knuckle lock, Hatfield tosses Gulak to the mat while holding onto his arm. Gulak kicks him away. Gulak applies a leglock and drops his elbow across Hatfield’s back. Hatfield gets in an armdrag and knuckle drag. Gulak goes low to counter another armdrag with one of his own. Hatfield grabs a chinlock and shoulder blocks Gulak when Gulak escapes. Gulak is able to dropkick Hatfield to the floor. Gulak has Hatfield come back in the ring instead of going for a dive. A wristlock exchange sees Hatfield score a two count with a Magistral cradle. Gulak counters Hatfield’s courting hold with a Frankensteiner, sending Hatfield back out. Gulak brings Hatfield down in a headlock. Hatfield counters into a headscissors. After a long headstand, Gulak rolls forward back into the chinlock. Hatfield rolls Gulak to the floor and follows with a suicide dive. Hatfield slams Gulak on the floor, but Gulak pops back up and hits a clothesline. They trade hard blows and chops to the chest, side, and stomach, ending with a suplex from Hatfield to Gulak. Both men make it back in the ring just in time to avoid a double count out. Hatfield hangs Gulak in a tree of woe and hits a baseball slide dropkick for two. Gulak is able to reverse an Irish whip to the corner, following in with a clothesline. He hits a lariat to the back of Hatfield’s head. Gulak comes off the top with a flying clothesline for two. Hatfield drives Gulak to the corner and places him on the top turnbuckle. Hatfield brings him down with a super butterfly suplex. When Hatfield rolls over for a pin, Gulak instead grabs a small package for two. Gulak goes for the CHIKARA Special. Before it is fully applied, Hatfield schoolboys Gulak for two. Hatfield muscles Gulak up into the cyclone neckbreaker. Gulak grabs the bottom rope to prevent a pin. Gulak resists the Jackhammer, sending Hatfield to the corner. Hatfield has the rear clothesline scouted the second time, and swings Gulak into the Jackhammer for two. He hits it a second time for a very close nearfall. He goes for a third, only for Gulak to snap suplex Hatfield into the corner. Gulak pummels Hatfield with open handed strikes. He leaps into the Gu-Lock and Hatfield taps out at 19:48! As expected, this was an excellent technical building to the Gu-Lock would have resulted in a stronger reaction from the crowd, despite him putting in a lot of work to the neck before getting it locked on. Hatfield deserves all the opportunities to shine in the main event and made the most of it here. It’s smart to capitalize on Gulak’s CWC spotlight, and him vs. Hallowicked has a lot of potential. ***½
Toronto, ONT- 7.23.2016
Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Scott Holiday
Missile Assault Man vs. Stephon Smith
Smith is replacing Pinkie Sanchez. He is a regular in OVW and goes by the nickname “Rump Thump.” Smith uses his posterior to escape a waistlock. Missile pulls Smith into an uppercut. Smith shoulder blocks Missile after Missile escapes his headlock. Missile trips Smith from the floor. He tries a knee strike but Smith gets to his feet to avoid it. Smith ducks a clothesline and backslides Missile for two. Missile stomps on Smith’s foot to break a double knuckle lock. He gets in some hard strikes in the corner. Smith snaps off a pair of armdrags before dropkicking Missile to the floor. Missile however trips him and gets in the knee strike from outside. He sends Smith face first into three of the four top turnbuckles. Smith responds in kind, but Missile cuts him off on the third turnbuckle and gives Smith the Missile Stomp. Missile blocks a boot and drives Smith face first into the mat. Missile grabs the ropes to avoid a dropkick and stomps Smith’s chest for two. A diving uppercut gets Missile a two count. Smith gets Missile in the corner with his posterior, but a running uppercut to the opposite corner stops that. He misses another uppercut. Smith misses a crossbody. Missile double stomps his chest for another two count. Smith gets in a shoulder tackle and a corner hip attack. A Sick Kick and running basement hip attack get a two count. He misses a running hip attack. Missile comes off the second rope with a rolling uppercut. The Missile Launcher gets him the pin at 9:13. There was obviously supposed to be some story element to this match with Sanchez that they couldn’t execute without him being present. While I appreciate a nice showcase match here and there, this was fairly dull and repetitive. No offense to Smith, but I think Missile crushing him in mere minutes would have been the best use of this contest. *
“Juke Joint” Lucas Calhoun has chills in excitement for his match with Soldier Ant. He hopes Soldier Ant brings his A game, because he don’t swerve, baby.
Soldier Ant {C} vs. Lucas Calhoun
Soldier Ant rolls Calhoun away to escape a cravate. They switch control of a wristlock and hammerlock, reaching a stalemate. Soldier Ant brings Calhoun down in an armdrag, forcing Calhoun to salute while holding onto his wrist. Calhoun avoids a pin and gets back to his feet. He brings Soldier Ant to the corner in a lock-up. Soldier Ant crawls between his legs and military crawls in the ropes back over to Calhoun, taunting him with a salute. Calhoun grabs Soldier Ant’s left leg and twists on his toe and ankle. Soldier Ant bridges up on his head and spins his way free. Calhoun gets fed up with Soldier Ant’s saluting, constantly pulling his arms down. Soldier Ant eventually boots him in the stomach. Calhoun blocks Soldier Ant’s chop and throws a series of his own karate chops and kicks. He strings a jumping knee strike and rolling clothesline together for two. Calhoun grabs a modified top courting hold. Soldier Ant shoves Calhoun away and lands a discuss forearm strike for two. Calhoun sends Soldier Ant out with a crane kick. Calhoun goes for a dive but Soldier Ant gets back in the ring. Calhoun stops his own momentum but falls to a running crossbody and a belly-to-back suplex for two. He gives Calhoun the Trench Slam for the pin at 8:44. It seems as if they’re trying to establish Calhoun as a single competitor, which I think they did well with the UK tour. One thing I don’t understand is that his promos read like a babyface, the fans treat him like one, but yet he’s programmed as the Rudo in so many of the singles matches he has. His role needs to be firmed up before he can start having notable singles matches. There was also an opportunity to do more in establishing whatever his character is supposed to be here with Soldier Ant leaning into his military shtick that wasn’t explored. Point being, this was alright, but ultimately there were so many unexplored opportunities. *½
N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)
Jaxon and Bate take each other to the mat while holding onto the collar-and-elbow tie-up. Jaxon ends a wristlock exchange with a forearm strike. Bate baits Jaxon into a kneelift to the jaw. Rockwell and Seven tag in. Seven’s shoulder blocks have no effect on Rockwell. Rockwell even accelerates him to the ropes and it adds no advantage. One running shoulder block from Seven knocks him down. Jaxon comes in and is slammed right away. Seven slams Rockwell on top of him, then Bate onto both members of N_R_G, and then Bate slams Seven onto them. Seven attempts a low suicide dive. Rockwell cuts him off with a haymaker and gives him a backbreaker on the apron. Rockwell throws some jabs. Seven chips him against the ring post. He misses a chop, hitting the post. N_R_G splash Seven in one corner, then another. Seven slips to the floor, bringing in Bate, who forces Rockwell to assist with a neckbreaker on Jaxon. Jaxon avoids a corner attack and lands a high crossbody. Rockwell Finlay Rolls Bate into a top rope elbow from Jaxon for two. Jaxon hits a clothesline through the ropes on Seven. Rockwell tries a powerslam but Seven shoves Rockwell to the floor. This time Seven’s suicide dive is a success. Jaxon hits his own suicide dive. Bate dives over the top onto everyone. Bate fights off both members of N_R_G back in the ring. Rockwell turns him inside out with a clothesline. Seven pulls Rockwell into a lariat. Jaxon headbutts away Seven’s lariat attempt and knocks him down with a superkick. Both teams engage in a slugfest. They take turns throwing uppercuts and forearm strikes in a square. Seven backslides Rockwell for two. Jaxon prawn holds Bate for two. He superkicks Seven. Rockwell tries the Hyperwheel. Seven escapes. Jaxon goes to superkick Seven but hits Rockwell instead! Bate kicks Jaxon to the floor while Seven gives Rockwell a Dragon suplex. Seven then gives him a piledriver for two. Seven German suplexes Rockwell into a delayed German suplex from Bate. Jaxon jumps in to break the bridge and pin. Jaxon is left alone with Moustache Mountain. He takes them down with a double dropkick but eats a double lariat and double brainbuster. Jaxon kicks out of Seven’s pin attempt. After some more strikes, Seven gives Jaxon a piledriver. Bate polishes him off with a Falcon Arrow in 13:54, giving Moustache Mountain their third point. This was a sporting tag team match, with no wasted time, not even a heat segment. Both teams worked hard, looked great, and it felt like Moustache Mountain earned a big victory, not just because they defeated the champs, but because they had to fight very hard to do so. On this day, CHIKARA made Moustache Mountain a force to be reckoned with, and N_R_G had a very strong showing. ***½
As Moustache Mountain celebrate, Los Ice Creams run out! They cash in their Golden Opportunity and the Campeones de Parejas are now on the line!
Campeonatos de Parejas
N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)
N_R_G have been champions since 9.27.2015 and this is their fourth defense. Los Ice Creams jump onto Jaxon and pin him in 0:05! Los Ice Creams are declared the winners and the NEW Campeones de Parejas! Mike Quackenbush seems to question this on commentary. As it turns out, he would render the titles vacant, as Campeones de Parejas are two out of three falls, and the junior referee forgot to trigger the second fall and instead ended the contest.
Moustache Mountain are backstage celebrating their victory and holding their three points, which they earned by defeating three sets of Campeones de Parejas in one day. Trent Seven doesn’t want to wait to cash them in, because the titles will look quite fetching on their waists, shoulders, and on top of Moustache Mountain.
Worker Ant says that Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush gave himself and Silver Ant the opportunity to step into the ring with the newly hexed Batiri tonight. Silver Ant says he knows what the influence of Nazmaldun can do to somebody, as he’s been in that mindset before. It brings out all the hatred and evil a person possesses within them. He and Worker Ant will have to put aside whatever differences the Colony has going on to defeat them. Worker Ant says they won’t leave the ring until the job is done.
The Colony (Silver Ant & Worker Ant) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)
The Batiri attack The Colony from behind before the bell. The Colony low bridge the top rope, sending the Batir to the floor. Worker Ant dives over the top onto both of them. In the ring Silver Ant Magistral cradles Obariyon for a two count. Obariyon shoves Silver Ant to the corner to break a wristlock and kicks Silver Ant in the corner. Silver Ant goes up and over Obariyon in the corner, then slams Obariyon into a legdrop for two. Obariyon takes some double team offense. Kodama grabs Worker Ant’s foot from the floor, allowing Obariyon to dropkick his leg out. As Obariyon stomps on Worker Ant’s knee, Kodama drives Silver Ant face first into the ring post. The Batiri continue work over Worker Ant’s knee as Silver Ant recovers. Worker Ant catches a break when Obariyon accidentally dropkicks Kodama. Worker Ant drops Obariyon with a back suplex into a uranage and finally crawls to his corner to tag in Silver Ant. Silver Ant bicycle kicks Obariyon and knocks down Kodama with a running crossbody. He turns Obariyon inside out with a lariat. Kodama throws a flurry of punches. Worker Ant blind tags in and assists Silver Ant with a double boot. Silver Ant checks on Worker Ant. Meanwhile, Kobald comes out, just like he did in the afternoon. This time Amasis yanks him off the apron and superkicks him away! Silver Ant doesn’t seem to understand. Obariyon tries to attack Worker Ant from behind, but Worker Ant has him scouted and O’Connor Rolls Obariyon for the pin at 10:03. After the bell, the Batiri take down Worker Ant with Skull Bronzing. Silver Ant is too distracted by what’s going with Amasis and Kobald to notice at first, but returns to the ring to chase Obariyon and Kodama off when he’s finished with that. This accomplished what it needed to: building more tension between Worker Ant and his other Colony members while also bringing Amasis into the mix for next month’s big main event match. The match itself was OK. The Batiri are awesome at working a limb and keeping an opponent isolated, but when all that work goes nowhere, it adds up to time wasted. **
Juan Francisco de Coronado comes to the ring with his Bloc Party partners, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova and Prakash Sabar. Coronado was set to face The Big Deal in a singles match tonight. However, Coronado was not impressed with what he saw out of the Big Deal. He wants to challenge the Big Deal and his security team to a trios match. The Big Deal accepts.
Team Big Deal (The Big Deal, Sloan Caprice & Rick Roland) vs. The United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)
Deal’s chops don’t do any damage to Boar’s mid-section, so he steps on Boar’s foot and kicks him in the face. Sabar is tripped upon entering the ring. Deal then gives him a delayed slam and whips him across the ring by his tongue. Coronado pokes Deal in the chest, asserting himself as the big deal. Deal unloads with slaps and chops. He rams his body into Coronado in the corner. Roland tags in. Boar can’t budge him with running shoulder blocks. Roland gives him a sidewalk slam. Roland tosses Sabar and Coronado to the floor where Boar has exited. Caprice back splashes onto all of them and Roland follows with a tope con hilo. Coronado slithers out of the way and sneaks back into the ring where he cracks Deal with an enzuigiri. The United Nations bully the diminutive brawler in their half of the ring until he catches Sabar with a powerbomb. Caprice spins out Sabar in a full-nelson slam. He slingshots Sabar on the top rope on all four sides of the ring before suplexing Sabar. Caprice slingshots Coronado into the ring. Coronado pulls Caprice by his trunks into a clothesline from the apron from the Boar. The United Nations now go to work on Caprice, making frequent tags while maintaining relentless offense. Although Caprice flubs what I presume was an electric chair slam, he still takes down Sabar and tags in Roland. He takes Boar over with a Frankensteiner. Coronado tries a high crossbody. Roland catches him. He catches Sabar’s crossbody attempt and gives Sabar a fallaway slam while giving Coronado a Samoan Drop. He trades shots between Coronado and Sabar until Boar gives him a big boot. Caprice sends Boar to the floor.. A Hart Attack/powerslam combo from Caprice and Roland leads to the Tadpole Splash on Deal onto Sabar for the pin at 11:56. This was a good night for getting Team Big Deal over. If Roland and Caprice can make their offense more crisp and powerful, the act could be something fun and unique. There on a good start, but need to tighten things up if they want to be scene as a force to be reckoned with. **½
Coronado places the blame on Sabar and Boar for the loss. He berates them in front of the crowd before demanding they go to the back.
Hallowicked says the difference between this Grand Championship reign and his previous reign is that he now has his army, the living embodiment of Nazmaldun, to support him. Nobody, not even Princess KimberLee, will ever end his reign.
Grand Championship
Hallowicked vs. Fire Ant
Hallowicked has been champion since 5.30.2016 and this is his first defense. Hallowicked tries to assert his dominance by powering Fire Ant to the corner, but Fire Ant shows he can be just as powerful by taking Hallowicked to another corner. They wrestle for control on the mat. Fire Ant takes control with a leglock, driving his elbow into Hallowicked’s lower back as well. Hallowicked drags Fire Ant away with a double wrist clutch. He grabs a cravate which Fire Ant turns into a standing octopus, then a satellite headscissors. He rolls up onto Hallowicked’s shoulders. Hallowicked Hot Shots Fire Ant onto the top rope and begins to attack Fire Ant’s left arm, driving his knee and elbow into it, as well as slamming it against the ring apron and wrapping it around a ring post. Fire Ant tries fighting back, but Hallowicked remains dominant as he continues to focus his attack on the left arm. Fire Ant gets in some right armed forearm strikes and palm thrusts to the chest. Hallowicked tries a Rydeen Bomb, which Fire Ant counters by sending Hallowicked out with a Frankensteiner. He then follows Hallowicked to the floor with a slingshot Frankensteiner! A third swinging Frankensteiner and tornado headscissors earn Fire Ant a three count back in the ring. Hallowicked catches Fire Ant’s crossbody attempt and gives him a shoulder breaker. He puts on a Fujiwara armbar. Fire Ant is able to crawl to the bottom rope. He looks for Never Wake Up. Fire Ant fights it off, but takes the Rydeen Bomb for two. Fire Ant again escapes Never Wake Up, but can’t lift Hallowicked up for a brainbuster. Hallowicked cracks him with a step-up enzuigiri and gives him the super snapmare. Hallowicked misses a Swanton Bomb. Fire Ant takes that opportunity to hit the Yahtzee Kick. He hits the Beach Break for two, as Hallowicked gets his foot on the bottom rope. On the apron, Hallowicked tries for some key offense, only for Fire Ant to pull him into a Beach Break on the apron! Between taking time to get Hallowicked back in the ring and his own exhaustion, it takes Fire Ant some time to get back in the ring. When he does, Hallowicked immediately locks him back in the Fujiwara armbar! Although Fire Ant is able to escape, Hallowicked puts on a cross armbreaker right after. Fire Ant converts into a prawn hold for two. Hallowicked relentlessly drives Fire Ant’s arm repeatedly into the mat with his knee and elbows. He introduces a chair into the ring, looking to Pillmanize the arm! Referee Bryce Remsburg admonishes Hallowicked long enough for Fire Ant to get up, crotch Hallowicked on the top rope, and remove the chair from his arm. Fire Ant tries a super Frankensteiner. Hallowicked counters mid-air with a super Rydeen Bomb for two! Fire Ant gives Hallowicked a pair of flying forearm strikes. The Yahtzee Kick connects twice. He tries the Beach Break. Hallowicked counters with a sunset flip. Fire Ant tries countering that with a jackknife pin, but Hallowicked cuts back and holds Fire Ant down for a three count at 20:42. Hallowicked and Fire Ant are maybe two of the most underrated performers in wrestling, and this great wrestling match showed exactly why. Hallowicked worked over Fire Ant’s arm like no one’s business, Fire Ant sold like a madman, made those moments where he could power up Hallowicked seem like a major feat and played the crowd’s emotions the whole way through. Fire Ant’s arm being too weak to fully get a jackknife pin is a very clever finish too, even if one could argue that it didn’t make for the most impactful finish. These two work really well together and proved why they belong on the top of the CHIKARA food chain. ****
After the bell, Hallowicked cracks Fire Ant with a yakuza kick. He goes for Never Wake up but Silver Ant chases him away.
Encore Match
Princess Kimberlee vs. Shayne Hawke
Hawke says Kimberlee isn’t competition for him. He tells her to stop playing Princess and to grow up. Kimberlee shoves him down. Hawke claims she cheated, but Bryce Remsburg isn’t buying it. Kimberlee avoids a running axe handle and has a violence party on Hawke in the corner. She knocks him down with a clothesline and then a bicycle kick. Hawke pulls Kimberlee by the leg, sending her face first into the middle turnbuckle. He does it again after a clothesline. He takes her down with a lariat for two. Kimberlee catches him with an atomic drop. After some running forearms, she powerbombs Hawke into the Alligator Clutch for the pin at 3:44. Hawke using the old “women aren’t as good as men” shtick is so irrelevant in CHIKARA I was embarrassed to see it even be used. That said, the wrestling was fine and Kim won, so there’s at least that. *
