wrestling / TV Reports
Jeremy’s Impact Wrestling Review 1.12.21
Loading...Hello there, Impact fans! It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time for another episode of Impact Wrestling. I’m Jeremy, and y’all know how this works. This will actually be my last week of live coverage for the show, as we’ll have a new live coverage guy for Impact coming in next week and I’m certain you’ll all appreciate him! Impact is in its final show before Hard to Kill this weekend, where the Knockouts Tag Team Titles will be decided and the AEW Champion will team with the Good Brothers against Rich Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. We have six matches on the card tonight, so it promises to be an eventful evening. Let’s jump right in!
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
* Previously on Impact: Sami Callihan and Eddie Edwards do battle in last week’s main event. Eddie is about to beat Sami with the bat when Sami reveals his wife backstage and he gets brutalized by Shamrock and Callihan. Also, the Good Brothers & Kenny Omega talk about the upcoming six-man tag main event at Hard to Kill while the Good Brothers show up on Impact to attack Jon Moxley and they reunite with the Young Bucks.
WE OWN THE NIGHT! (AKA Title Sequence!)
Taya Valkyrie vs. Kimber Lee
Ah, my favorite ship. Anyway, Kimber attacks right away and takes it to Taya, beating her around the ring and then throwing her across it. She chokes Taya in the corner, then charges in but right into a boot. Taya with a double-leg takedown and fists to Kimber, she then pushes Lee into the corner and kicks her down to the mat. Kimber picked back up, big overhand chop and then another. Lee gets hit with a kick to the gut off an Irish whip reversal and slides out of the ring, Taya goes for a dive but gets kicked in the head and Lee takes control. She hits a suplex on Valkyrie, cover gets two. Kimber with traps Taya’s arms with her legs in a submission but nearly gets pinned, she turns it into a bodyscissors and rolls Taya around the ring. The hold breaks and Kimber with a snapmare into a chinlock. Taya manages to fight out, comes off the ropes and hits an awkward kick. She quickly eats a kick back and gets pinned for two. Lee chokes Taya against the ropes and goes to pick her up, Taya fights back and gets stomped for the trouble. Taya up in the corner and gets a series of knife edge chops, snapmare to the center and a kick to the back. Cover gets two. Kimber with blows to Valkyrie’s back, she picks Taya up and drops her into a sidewalk slam. Lee going up top, she takes aim and Swanton goes into Taya’s knees! Both are slow getting to their feet, they charge in and Taya with a couple clotheslines, ducks a clothesline and hits a host of chops. SHort-arm reversal, Taya takes Kimber down and covers for two. Irish whip to the corner reversed, Taya takes Kimber down and snaps Kimber’s head into the mat. Deonna with the distraction on Taya, German suplex by Kimber bridged into a two-count. Both up now, Kimber goes for another one but Taya breaks out and hits a big clothesline. She slams Kimber into the corner, charges in with double knees to the face! Taya with the cover but Deonna grabs Kimber’s hand and puts it on the ropes. Rosemary chases down Deonna who says she didn’t say anything, and Rosemary grabs Deonna. Out comes Susan, who stars down Rosemary and DECKS HER! Deonna and Susan attack Rosemary on the outside while inside, Kimber counters the Road to Valhalla but hits a roundhouse. She sees Rosemary being held down and Kimber takes Taya down to fold her up for the pin!
Winner: (9:22)
Rating: ** 1/4
Thoughts: Solid starter that had a couple not-wonderful moments, but nothing too bad. Mostly this just advanced the storyline with Susan, plus the Deonna vs. Taya match at Hard to Kill.
* Backstage, Omega is pissed that someone drank the last brew and it was Doc. Callis says it’s time for serious business because Hard to Kill is around the corner and he stuck his neck out for this. Callis says they’ll be in Jacksonville for Dynamite tomorrow and tells Anderson they need momentum heading into Hard to Kill. Gallows is apparently banned from ringside and Callis could undo it, but he won’t because Anderson can handle Swann.
* We’re back from break and we have our new AEW paid advertisement. Schiavone introduces Tony Khan, who congratulates them on a great 2020: paid ads from Tony, Tony on TV, Kenny Omega appearing, and being able to watch “a real wrestling show” tomorrow on Dynamite. They run down the card for tomorrow’s show including Tay Conti vs. Serena Deeb for the NWA Women’s Championship, Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage for the TNT Title and more. Khan says that match is a long time coming and speaking of Brian Cage, did you know Cage is a former Impact Wrestling Champion? Schiavone says he does, and Khan is surprised. Khan takes a couple of shots at the Good Brothers showing up at Dynamite and says they at least did one thing right. He invites Impact to send anyone else to Dynamite next week. Schiavone says it’s “on a real network.” DAAAAMN, Tony.
* We get a vignette highlighting Sami Callihan and his feud with Eddie Edwards, leading into the match last week and Edwards being beat the hell up. Callihan says it’s Barbed Wire Massacre at Hard to Kill. Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down. Eddie looks ready too.
* Josh and Madison hype Callihan vs. Edwards and how brutal Barbed Wire Massacres are. They run down the rest of the card:
– Barbed Wire Massacre Match: Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan
– Old School Rules: Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, & Cousin Jake vs. Eric Young, Cody Deaner, & Joe Doering
– Knockouts Tag Team Titles Match: Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz vs. Havok & Nevaeh
– Ethan Page vs. The Karate Man
– X-Division Title Match: Manik vs. Rohit Raju vs. Chris Bey
– Knockouts Title Match: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie
– Kenny Omega & The Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann & The Motor City Machine Guns
Tonight, Swann faces Anderson with all the Hard to Kill participants banned from ringside.
Chris Bey & Rohit Raju vs. Manik & Suicide
The battle starts right off the bat with Rohit and TJP ending up in the ring, with Bey coming in to help after Suicide goes to the outside. Rohit and Bey argue, they come off the ropes but Bey gets tripped and comes in for the save. Suicide electric chair drops Bey into ROhit, then a splash and their are a couple double whips to the ropes. Bey and ROhit go to the outside, Manik & Suicide go to dive but get tripped. Bey and Raju try the same, the masks slide under the ropes. Bey and Raju are confused and turn their backs, Manik and Suicide slip into the ring behind them and a double dropkick sends them to the outside as we’re off to break.
We’re back and Manik sunset flips Bey, then pulls him into a submission hold until Raju comes in and breaks it up. Suicide joins in and there’s some whips into the ropes, with Manik ending up on the outside. Raju suplexes Suicide in the inside and gets pulled to the corner as Bey slams Manik on the outside. Bey tags in and kicks at Suicide in the corner. Suicide is fighting back with chops but gets kicked back into the corner. Bey with knees to the face, he tags in Raju who charges in with a splash. Bey follows suit and Raju with a charging kneelift, cover gets two. Raju tags Bey back in, double axehandle off the second rope and a back suplex for two. Suicide up into a big dropkick. Bey pulls Suicide up and tags in Raju, who takes over. Shot to the back, neckbreaker, but Suicide counters a front suplex and sends Raju flying into the corner. Manik off the top, crossbody to Bey who tagged in. He gets Bey on his shoulders, GS@-style kick to Bey’s legs and he dives to Raju on the outside. Suicide goes up top, dives at Bey, palm strikes and a front dropkick. Suicide with an octopus hold, Raju ties to make the save but Manink on his back. He locks in an abdominal stretch but Raju and Bey lock hands and they escape the holds. Raju with a big kick to Suicide and another, he comes off the ropes into a fist to the gut and then Suicide gets taken down by Bey. Manik takes over on Raju, but Raju counters out and hits a jumping knee, then tries to unmask Manik. Suicide in and a kick to Raju’s face. He sets Raju up but Bet off the ropes with the Art of Finesse for the pin!
Winner: Chris Bey & Suicide (12:42)
Rating: ***
Thoughts: That was a chaotic and fast-paced match in a very positive way. All four men tries hard and it lost a bit due to the spotfest nature, but there was enough story that it worked as more than just a collection of moves and chaos.
* Backstage, Taya is pissed that she lost and Rosemary says they didn’t expect the Susan ploy. They’ll be ready for Hard to Kill. Taya says she’ll be ready for Rosemary’s match but Rosemary tells her to get ready for Hard to Kill, because she’ll come up with something.
* We get the ad for Hard to Kill featuring Rich Swann.
Deaner vs. Tommy Dreamer
Deaner vs. Dreamer. Cody goes in quickly and bites at Dreamer, then punches and kicks him in the corner. He backs up and carges in but Dreamer moves, then hits a bodyslam. He comes off the ropes and gets tripped, and Deaner comes off the other side and gets tripped by Rhino. Joe Doering and Rhino get ejected from ringside as Cody attacks on the inside. Dreamer fights back but gets knocked down hard. Deaner with a kneedrop to Tommy’s head and then gets him up, slamming him head-first into the turnbuckle while mocking Cousin Jake. He pulls Dreamer to the other side and chokes him against the ropes, and when the ref pulls him off EY hits a punch. Deaner wrenches on Dreamer’s head and Dreamer fights back, short arm reversal and then a punch. Jabs to Cody, but Cody cuts him off. Deaner DDT countered by Tommy, who comes off the ropes but gets knocked down. Deaner goes to the second rope and leaps off into a big boot from Dreamer. Deaner rolls outside and Jake tries to talk sense. Cody slaps Jake three times and goes to climb into the ring, Jake trips him and that’s the bell.
Winner: Deaner by DQ (3:35)
Rating: * 1/4
Thoughts: Barely a match, but it made Cody look good so I’ll take what I can get.
The ref bails and RHino is back in as everyone breals. Rhino preps to spear Cody when Joe Doering comes in. Rhino punches Doering to no effect, Doering clotheslines Rhino the mat. EY directs traffic as Cody hits the Deaner DDT on Jake. Dreamer gets piledriven by Young. The heels stand tall to end the segment.
* We get a vignette breaking down the Knockouts Tag Team Tournament that will culminate at Hard to Kill. The vignette charts Havok & Nevaeh and Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz’ roads to the finals.
* We’re back and Scott D’Amore has hosted the contract signing between the two Knockouts tag teams. Kiera and Tasha proceed to talk a lot of trash, talking about how they already beat the two twice. That lasts until Nevaeh and Havok have had enough and they grab the two by the throat. Havok says they’ll see what she has to say when they win the titles.
As the ladies leave, Brian Myers comes in and says he needs to get more opportunities. He says he beat Josh Alexander, and Alexander says it was a fluke. D’Amore says they should face off again to settle this. Myers says “Okay, Team Canada” and says he smells collusion.
Tenille Dashwood vs. Rosemary
Kaleb with a K introduces Tenille as always. Meanwhile Rosemary has the best entrance ever as usual, even if Tenille is not amused. Tenille tries to offer Rosemary some conversation instead of a match, and Rosemary accepts a handshake before pulling her in and pushing her down. She yanks Tenille back up into a bodyblock, then throws Tenille across the ring and then back to the other side. Tenille ends up on the apron and Rosemary pulls her back in, then slams her headfirst into the turnbuckle. Irish whip from Rosemary into a sidewalk slam for two. Rosemary flips Tenille onto her stomach and beats on her back, then comes off the ropes only to get tripped by Kaleb. Rosemary goes after Kaleb and gets hair spray in the face! Tenille takes the opportunity for a cover, but Rosemary kicks out. Tenille takes advantage and stomps at Rosemary, then covers for two again. She picks Rosemary up and wraps her up on the ropes, working her back over four a four-count. Rosemary fights back with a couple shots to the gut and she charges in, but Tenille with a drop-toe hold into the second rope. Neckbreaker into the ropes and Tenille with a pin attempt for two. Tenille backs Rosemary into the corner and charges in, Rosemary fights back and goes for the upside down but Tenille counters out. She charges in and hits a low crossbody for two. Double underhook, Rosemary spins out, Tenille ducks a clothesline and they come off the ropes for a double collision. Both are slow to get up, Tenille with a shot to Rosemary that the Demon assassin returns. They trade shots back and forth, Rosemary with a clothesline and another. Sling Blade by Rosemary, she charges into the corner but Tenille moves. Tenille charges in but Rosemary counters with the Upside Down for four! Rosemary back into the ring and stalks Tenille, she goes to pull her into the ring despite Kaleb’s held. Tenille with an eye poke, double underhook slam for two! Tenille looking for the Spotlight Kick, she goes in but Rosemary catches it and hits a clothesline. Rosemary lies in wait, Kaleb on the apron and CRAZZY STEVE comes up from nowhere to pull Kaleb off the apron! Kaleb goes running and is chased into the ring and out. The ref tosses them out, Tenille tries to use the hair spray, Rosemary catches it and uses it on Tenille! Spear and that’s the pinfall win.
Winner: Rosemary (8:22)
Rating: ** 1/2
Thoughts: A perfectly good match. Tenille’s gimmick obviously doesn’t do her workrate any favors, but this was solid and both ladies held their own. I have nothing to complain about here.
* Rich Swann is backstage and cuts a promo on Karl Anderson, saying it’s the Tuesday before the Saturday that he and the Guns whup all over their asses. He says tonight though, it’s just the two of them because everyone’s banned from ringside. Mano e mano, knuckle to knuckle, nose to nose, man to man, they’ll see what’s up and Karl will get a taste that he can tell Gallows and Omega what to expect. Just remember: they rock it like that all night long.
* Back from break and we get a vignette of the deterioration of Ethan Page leading to his match against Karate Man at Hard to Kill this weekend.
Moose vs. Matthew Palmer
This won’t go well for poor Matthew. Palmer with a big dropkick, he charges in for another and a third as Moose tells him to do it. A fourth, and then he goes to Irish whip Moose to no avail. Moose slams Palmer into the corner and slams him. Palmer tries a chop and gets knocked down. Moose begins stalking and kicking at Palmer, then picks him up and chucks him across the ring. Palmer tries to get up and gets a light kick to the head. Moose then picks him up and chucks him across the ring again. He tells Palmer that he’s scrappy, and Palmer fires off with punches from his knees before Moose stops him with a big clubbing shot. Moose wrenches Palmer’s head and then stalks him and does it again. Palmer choked against the ropes, then picks him up for a couple big shots to the midsection and then a knee lift. He tells Palmer to give him his best shot and it’s a throat thrust. Palmer with a jumping knee, he gos up top, another leaping knee. He goes up top again, third leaping knee! Moose is down to a knee and he charges in, standing uranage. He picks Palmer up for a second one, then goes into mounted punches and knees. The ref stops the match.
Winner: Moose by virtue of murder (4:33)
Rating: **
Thoughts: Here lies Matthew Palmer. It did what it was supposed to do.
* We get a vignette promoting the Kenny Omega storyline leading into the six-man tag team match at Impact Hard to Kill.
* Madison and Matthews break down the vignette and hype the main event, which starts now.
Karl Anderson vs. Rich Swann
We get the intros and then go to break.
We’re back and the match has already started, which is dumb as shit. Swann fights out of a headlock and takes Anderson down, then locks in a shoulderlock. Anderson up and backs Swann into the corner, whips him into the ring. He charges in but Swann moves and ends up in another shoulderlock. Anderson up and backs Swann into the ropes, whips him into the ropes, Swann ducks and hits an armdrag into the lock again. Anderson up, gets him in the corner, a couple big shots instead of the clean break. He boot chok4es Swann in the corner and then locks in his own shoulderlock. Snap kick to the shoulder by Karl, and he sends Swann hard into the turnbuckle head first. Machine Gun with a couple kicks to the back and he picks up Swann, who fights back but Anderson with a twisting arm slam to the mat. Swann comes firing back and Irish whip, Anderson reverses, Swann tries to leap over but gets caught and thrown into the turnbuckle. Swann back on the outside as we go to break again.
Back from break and Anderson is working over Swann’s shoulder. Rich fights Karl off and charges in but gets sent over the ropes to the apron. Karl grabs Rich and snaps his arm against the apron, sending the champion to the ringside floor. Machine Gun outside now and slams Swann’s arm into the apron, then whips him hard into the turnbuckle. Anderson in the ring to break the count, then comes back out and rolls Swann in. Cover gets two. Anderson wrenches the arm into a hold again, then stomps on it. He goes right back to the arm and the ref asks Swann if he wants to quit, to no avail. Anderson cinches in but Swann is able to fight to his feet. Anderson with a shot to the arm, they both come off the ropes and a double clothesline! Both men down, but Anderson is up first. Elbow to Swann’s head, Swann with a shot back. They start trading blows, Anderson down to a knee! Swann fights back, spinning punch countered with a back kick! Anderson charges in but Swann ducks, he counters two more charges, he catches Anderson with a kick and Rolling Thunder clothesline! Swann is unleashing the strikes on Anderson, he slams Anderson down and a heel kick to Anderson’s face gets two! Swann lies in wait, Anderson up in the corner, he charges in and Anderson ducks out of the way. Anderson in with a running boot, cover gets two. Anderson preps goes for a European Uppercut but Swann rolls him up for three!
Winner: Rich Swann (about 14:00)
Rating: ***
Thoughts: It got a bit repetitive, but overall great match. These two played off each other very well and the biggest crime this match had was in the editing one or two of the worst times.
After the match, the bus is empty and Swann looks at Anderson from the ramp. He prepares to leave and walks to the back. Gallows and Omega attack the Guns backstage! The brawl is full-force, and Swann comes in followed by Anderson! All six men are going at it, Swann levels Machine Gun while Sabin gets a low blow from Omega. Swann is giving everyone shots as we cut to black.
