Acero’s WWE RAW Review 9.5.22

Y’all, Cali is over 100 degrees right now, and I am NOT cut out for this shit.

Speakin of hot, what a week, right? I take one week off, and shit goes down! Thanks, as always, to those who cover for me while I do Hollywood things like drugs off a urinal cake. It does not go unnoticed.

It’s Monday…you know what that means.

We start RAW with a little bit of Edge.

Edge grabs hisself a mic and drops Dominik’s name. He says he’s known Dom since 5 years old. They used to sit in catering and hit people with bean shooters. When they ran shows in SD, he stayed at the Mysterio house. He and Rey would ride beach cruisers at Pacific Beach. Just last year, it was Edge that talked Dom down before his first match in front of a live audience. Dom’s always felt like a nephew, but it appears Dom doesn’t feel the same way. So what’s up wit that? Is it because of the spear? It was an accident. He apologizes. His gut told him to take care of it, but his heart overrode, told him not to worry bout Dom. Not Dom.

He didn’t come back to get in between he and his dad. He came back to help. But after what Dom did to Edge, what he did to his dad….Edge knows Rey raised him better than that. Rey and Dom can hash it out however they need to, but Edge is different. He no longer sees a kid, he sees a WWE Superstar, and man’s game pays a man’s price. So Dom needs to get down here right now. They are not going to talk; Edge is going to beat his ass. So come down now.

Rey’s music hits, and out comes the concerned father. Rey says Dom is still his son, and he doesn’t want Edge to do this.

Edge rubs his temple, tells Rey he loves him, but Dom is old enough to drink, old enough to drive, old enough to step foot in this ring and stand for his actions.

Edge, once again, calls for Dom.

Dom’s Dom is here! Rhea is alone, tells both Edge and Rey that they both got what was coming to him. Edge tried to replace him, and Rey thought he could protect him. Guess what….he’s not Rey’s little baby boy anymore, he’s Rhea! Lol ok, actually no, she says she saw potential in him and made him into a man.

Out comes Dom….he’s wearing all black, hair slicked back, still looking 12.

Rey: “Dom, snap out of it son, you still have time.”

Rhea tells Rey to get it through his thick skull. Dom ain’t listening to him. Stop trying to fight his battles. As for Edge…you’re past your time. Edge cannot stop his judgment day.

Rey drops his mic, but not before telling Edge he doesn’t want to be a part of this. Lol. Damn.

Dom and Rhea walk down the ramp slowly. Dom meets his father at the bottom. They look eye to eye, Rey tells him not to do this, in English AND Spanish so you know it’s real.

Edge waits for them in the ring as the crowd chants “Who’s Your Daddy?” and “Eddie’s Son.”

Balor and Priest try to attack from behind, but Edge makes short work of both of them until Dom comes in to clip the leg. Finn attacks the knee as Dom removes his watch. He leaves the ring to meet his returning father at the bottom of the ramp. Rey tries to enter the ring, Rey tells his son and Rhea to get out of his way. Rey tries to enter the ring, Dom stops him, and Rhea clubs him in the back of the neck, then tosses him into the steps.

In the ring, Finn tosses Edge into a GOOZLE from Priest! Chokeslam! Dom grabs a chair from the outside. He traps Edge’s leg. Finn to the top rope. He dives off the top, onto Edge’s knee. Rey enters, checks on Edge. Judgment Day meet at the bottom of the ramp and walk up backwards.

EARLIER TODAY, The Miz and Ciampa showed up. He’s run up on by Sarah to try and ask Miz about Lumis, but Miz doesn’t wanna talk about it. Ciampa tells her journalists are always trying to stir up some drama. Miz wonders if it ever occurred to her to ask how he is, how he is feling. Sarah asks him, he says none of her business. Lol.

They continue their walk towards the arena until….they come up to a car that is upside down.

BRAUN IS BACK!!

We come to live TV and THE NEW DAY is here!!!!

Match 1: The New Day vs Los Lotharios vs The Street Profits vs The Alpha Academy

Woods and Garza to start. They do some quick rope work, neither getting a real pin, goin back and forth till the inevitable stalemate. Garza rmoves his pants, then tosses them to Woods. He then tags in…Kofi? That’s weird. So now it’s Woods vs Kofi? How does this make sense?

Kofi shakes the hands of Woods then Woods…..DROPS DOWN AND KOFI COVERS!

BUT everyone comes in to break up the pin. They clear the ring, Kofi and Woods do, then stand in the ring and, instead of opting to do what they JUST did, they both hit the ropes and jump over, landing on their opponents.

Kinda contrived…but ok.

We are back from break and Ford is in the ring with Humberto. Berto clocks Woods and Kofi off the apron, then goes back to duck an enziguri from Ford. Berto grabs the legs, Ford kicks him away, tag from Gable, who comes in to stop a tag by grabbing the leg and locking in an ankle lock. Berto is behind Gable, holding his back. Enziguri from Ford hits Berto, tag to Montez, who hits a right to Gable, another, one for Otis, spinning uppercut to Gable. Spinning clothesline in the corner, high kick to Gable, in comesBerto, double underhook, spin and a drop, Kofi hits the ropes, Dawkins launches him to the outside! NICE!! Gable sends Dawkins to the ropes, Gable ducks under, so Dawkins hops over the top rope onto everyone outside!!

Ford enters the ring, escapes a german, in comes Dawkins to shove Gable into a huge suplex, Cover for 1..2.NO!! Otis stops the pin. Spinning back elbow to Dawkins! Otis hits the apron, tags in, grabs Ford, lifts, but here comes Garza with a superkick to Oits!!! Garza lifts Ford, In comes Woods, Ford and Garza corner him and lift Woods to the top rope. Both climb, here comes Humberto, then Dawkins, and finally Kofi. Dawkins and Kofi corner Humberto. Kofi with a modified powerbomb off the top. Superplex to Ford!!! Humberto on the top rope! He hits a moonsault, lands on his feet, but Gable is there to hit a German!!!! Otis to the top rope! He flies onto Ford! Splash! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Kofi stops the pin!

We are BACK after another break, and Ford is reeling in the corner until…

BRAUN STROWMAN makes his return in red pants!

Gable is left alone in the ring. Braun trucks him with a hard right. CHOKESLAM to Humberto! IN comes Otis. Braun sends him flying off the apron.

Winner: Nobody. Not even us.
Well that was a return no one was asking for, nor is it one I wanted or needed. Moreover, he effectively put down four tag teams, treating them like they’re nothing. This, and the fact that this was a number one contender’s match does more damage than I care to admit. A very Vince like move.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: Bout 14 minutes

In comes security and Braun makes short work of them.

Braun calls for the train, leaves the ring, looks like he misses Gable, but sends Otis into the barricade. Body slam to Gable. Braun goes for the table. Braun grabs Dawkins, lifts him and powerslams him into the announce table.

Braun celebrates in the ring.

They couldn’t run a 24/7 segment and have Braun murder them and rip the title in half or something?

We are back to RAW and Braun is barely leaving the ring? Damn bruh, what you been doin?

Raquel Rodriguez and her tag team partner are here.

Match 2: Aliyah and Raquel Rodriguez vs Nikki A.S.H. and Piper Niven

Nikki and Aliyah to start. Aliyah gets a one count but Nikki drags he to the corner and in comes Piper. Right hand to the mid section from Piper. Another right the abs. Commentary tries to sell Aliyah as self-aware of her issues. Nikki rips Raquel off the apron as Aliyah tries to rana Piper. Piper grabs the legs and swings Aliyah into the ringpost. Looks kinda weak. A cannonball in the corner, however, does not.

Bayley, Iyo and Dakota are backstage watching this match. Tag to Nikki. Nikki sends Raquel off the apron again, then helps Piper with a Samoan Drop. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Raquel breaks it up. Aliyah gets stomped out but eventually we get a hot tag, and in comes Raquel to shove Nikki into the corner. Piper with a tag, Raquel catches Nikki, kicks piper, fallaway slam to Nikki. Rights to Piper, back elbow to the face. She lifts Piper, possible for a piledriver, but Piper is too heavy. Headbutt from Piper. She trips Raquel up. Running senton to Raquel. Cover for 1..2.N!O!!

Aliyah, on the outside, flies off the steps with a Thesz Press. Piper is distracted. Raquel grabs her of the top rope and slams her down hard. Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Aliyah and Raquel Rodriguez
A match solely placed to get a win for the new tag champs, but there was much to be desired in terms of quality.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:42

Rey is backstage and tells Sarah that he will NEVER put his hands on his son, but Judgment day is a different story, so Priest of Balor, whoever wants some, he’s taking them on tonight.

Austin Theory is here with a scowl on his face.

He says he knows thing did not go as planned on Saturday, but he must say that Crown Jewel was an absolute success.

He realizes his mistake, says just kidding, then corrects himself. He then tells us to shut our mouths. He is sure we all wanted him to fail, but here he stands with the briefcase, still.

Roman Reigns is still champion. He says he will soon end that reign, and he will be the new champion.

Throughout this, he seems to favor the pain in his jaw, messing up lines, and grabbing at his face.

Kevin Owens is here to, hopefully, save this.

To Theory’s credit, he is trying to cover up his flubs really well. He has not broken.

Kevin Owens: “What’s wrong with yor jaw?”

Lol. Owens says he remembers; he got knocked the hell out.

YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT chant.

Kevin tells Theory HE GOT KO’d! lol. That’s good stuff, right? Crowd agrees and chants it.

Kevin then brings up that Theory found his first name again! Hey Austin! Owens says he despises arrogant and delusional people. We’ve had both in this company, and Theory will not be the last, but right now, he is at the top of that list. An Example? Theory is complaining about Fury, but what he did was a favor for Theory, because if he had been able to cash in, Drew or Roman would have put him into the ground, and Theory would have lost that opportunity forever.

Theory tells Kevin he doesnt know what he’s talking about, it’s obvious KO is jealous. He’s always running around talking about championships, but he hasnt won one in years. Meanwhile, Theory is climbing the ladder of success, and doing things that KO could never do. Theory feels bad for him, so how bout KO be first in line when Theory wins the title.

KO says he has been in the ring with Reigns and Drew and he has had both of them beaten at one point. The only reason Theory has that briefcase, is because Owens wasn’t in the match. If he was, he’d be the guy to take Roman Reigns down.

Theory says that all sounds so great. This is reality, and the reality is that Theory is the hand-picked future, while Owens is trying really hard to stay relevant.

Owens says yes, he does everything he can to stay relevant. That’s why he is so good. Theory WAS the hand-picked future, but not anymore. Is KO the only one that pays attention? He bets any second now, a ref is going to run from the back and slide into the ring.

Here comes a ref on cue.

WOW! What do ya know?! Then, one of the guys in the ring says, “Hey enough talking, let’s fight.”

Well what do ya know…

Match 3: Kevin Owens vs Austin Theory

Bell rings. Theory leaves the ring! Owens leaves, too, and clotheslines Theory down hard. He sends Theory int othe barricade. Chop to Theory.They head into the ring, Theory mounts owens with some rights. Owens escapes, whips to the corner, cannonball from Owens! Theory rolls to the outside! Owens on the apron! FROGSPLASH OFF THE APRON!!!

We are BACK and Owens has a cover on Theory for 1..2..NO!!!! Theory to the apron. He rolls in with a dropkick to Owens. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Chin lock from Theory. Theory sends Owens to the corner. Clothesline then a fallaway slam. Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Theory works the arm from behind, still selling his jaw. Owens turns into the hold. He hits a right to the face, another, another, over and over. Theory kicks, whip to the ropes, reverse, Theory kicks up, but Owens hits a clothesline! Another! A final one off the ropes! Owens to the apron! He flies off with a senton, but Theory gets the knees up!!!

We are back, and Theory has Owens in a torture rack. He spins oWens down for a powerbomb and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Theory tries for the finisher, but Owens drops down, hits an elbow, Theory hits an elbow, then the ropes. Owens with a superkick, Owens tries for the pop up, but Theory lands on his feet. He’s in the corner. Big boot to Owens. Owens rushes and posts himself. Theory to the outside as Owens slinks out. Theory grabs Owens and just slams the back of his head into the steps! Deeeeyum Owens took that like a champ. Holy shit. Theory enters the ring as the ref counts. Ref at 8, and Owens stirs. He hits 9, and in comes Owens. Theory kicks him in the face, hooks the leg, the head, suplex onto the knee. Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!

Theory sits owens on the top rope. Chop to the hest. He grabs the arm, tries to break the grip. Theory locks up, tries for a superplex, but Owens holds on. Right to the ribs. Punch to the face. Theory falls down to the mat. Owens to the top rope, but Theory is up, attacks the head. He climbs, locks up again, but Owens hooks the leg and he gets the counter suplex to Theory!

Owens sends him into the ropes, pop up powerbomb!!! Theory bounces onto his knee. KICK! WHAM! STUNNER!!! Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Kevin Owens
A rare case where I’m ok with Theory losing, particularly if you’re going to give him 15 minutes with a beast like Owens, which will only help Theory to be great.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 16:57

Recap of Clash

Bayley is backstage with her best buds and they’ll be out here next.

She brings up their win at Clash, and Dakota says if they can do that to our best, imagine what they can do to the rest of the roster. They are taking control.

Iyo says next week, they are taking the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles.

Newsflash, Dakota wasn’t legal last week, so Raquel and Aliyah can pretend for another week until they take what is rightfully theirs.

Bayley talks about them overcoming, and her beating Belair, a person who hadn’t lost in over 300 days.

Here comes Bianca!

She tells Bayley that she is right, but if she wants a challenge, then that’s what she gets. Let’s run it back. Bayley vs Bianca, tonight. Bayley says she is not working today, because it’s Labor Day. All theyre doing is celebrating today.

Bianca questions Bayley beating her, because it was the three of them who beat her. If that’s what it takes, though, to make Bayley feel like she’s in control, then fine she guesses. Because Bayley might have her little minions, but Bianca has the title. So unless it’s one v one, and unless Bayley has the title, Bayley is in control….of nothing.

Damn. Nice.

Bayley steps up to her, circles her, and boom, Bianca is surrounded. They then opt to let her be and leave the ring.

Bayley tells Bianca that she already beat her, she has nothing else to prove. It’s been a while, she knows, but Belair is still the same ol Belair. She’s got a fragile ego, and wont be able to handle this one loss to make her feel like it was just a fluke. Guess what, it’s not all about Belair. They could have jumped her now, but they got bigger and better things to worry about. She tells Bayley if and when sshe wants that title, she’ll get it one way or another.

Gargano in the back! He says he’s been swimming with sharks his entire life. He thinks Austin may have forgotten what he’s capable of in that ring.

In comes Theory, saying no one cares! He ays all Johnny has done since returning is talk. Gargano says he is right. 100% correct. Damn. So next week, live, Johnny will return to in ring action. He then tells Theory he doesn’t look so good, must be the sharks.

Match 4: Rey Mysterio vs Damien Priest

Rey vicious with an attack to start. He beats on Priest in the corner, hits the ropes, BOOM BIG BOOT from Priest! Priest whips Rey into the corner, hits a hard shoulder. Priest tries for a nother shoulder but Rey moves, attacks the back. Rey hits the ropes, springboard crossbody onto Priest! He mounts for punches, no pin! Priest hits a knee. Whip to the ropes, Rey slides under, kick to the back of the leg. Knee from Priest. Priest whips, Rey holds onto the rope. Priest rushes into a kick, Rey runs, rana to Priest sends him flying to the outside. Rey with a dropkick through the ropes! Rey to the apron.

Finn, Rhea, and Dom are shown walking down the ramp. Rey flies off the apron and Priest just punches his stomach. Ouch.

We are BACK and Rey hits a springboard moonsault off the ropes! Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Rey stares his son down. Kick from Rey. Rey beats down on Priest. He then…..well, I dunon. He mounts Priest with a leg on th shoulder, allowing Priest to kind of send him into the corner face first on the top buckle. Priest kicks out of the corner. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Priest hoists Rey onto his shoulders, Rey slinks off with a DDT! Rey to the corner! He hops to the top, but here is Priest with a hard right hand. Priest climbs the top for a firemans. Rey elbows out. He hits a rana off the top rope!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Rey tries for a 619, but Priest stands, hits a spinning leg lariat. Priest lifts Rey for a Razor’s Edge…but Rey head scissors Priest into the ropes!

Rey hits them for a 619, but Dom is standing there! Rey is stunned, stopped. Finn distracts, Rey swings, Rhea distracts, Rey turns, Priest with a huge clothesline. GOOZLE! South of Heaven and a cover for 1…2….3!!!!

Winner: Damien Priest
Lord knows they’re tryin, but this is the story that doesn’t end.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 13:13

Now that Damien is done with Rey, there’s just one more man in the way. Dom is going to send Edge into retirement, because what Papi wants, Papi gets. So next week, Dom challenges Edge.

Bobby Lashley is backstage. Sarah brings up Miz saying he is going to win tonight. Lashley says Miz is not too smart. The only reason he wants to be inside a cage is because he thinks it’ll keep him safe, but he’ll be in the ring with Lashley.

So backstage, Braun is walkin round toweling his head. He tells us that the monster of all monsters is back and nobody is safe. He’ll see us all on Friday Night.

Recap of Rollins v Riddle.

After their match, Riddle had an interview. He says he let his emotions get the best of him, and Seth took full advantage. One thing he can say for sure, is he wants another match, and he wants it as soon as possible, and he’s going to get it.

Meanwhile, Seth is happy as a clam, and his response to the yearning for a rematch is…he admires the kid’s guts, he’s got moxy, but the bottom line is he came here and did what he said he was going to do. He stomped Riddle’s head in twice. While he admires his guts, a rematch is not in the cards. Seth is movin on to bigger and better things.

Miz v Lashley next.

They both make their entrances, then enter the cage. Bell rings.

Miz starts the match with a TITLE SHOT TO THE HEAD!!!! Lashley hangs over the steps from in the ring. Ciampa attacks and pulls Lashley to the outside, which apparently doesn’t make him win because he didn’t walk out on his own accord. Miz then follows, which I think would make him the winner, but they try and clear it up by saying the match has not yet officially started.

Match 5: United States Championship Match
The Miz vs Bobby Lashley

We are back, and the match has officially started. Miz has a cover on Lashley, gets a 1..2..NO!!! Lashley is up. He tries to climb, but Miz is there. Elbow from Lashley. Lashley is favoring his ar badly. Lashley locks up Miz for a suplex, but Lashley’s arm is hurt. Miz escapes, pulls the arm and Lashley down with it. Miz with kicks to the left arm. Cover by The Miz. 1..2…NO!!! Miz hops to the cage, tries to climb. Lashley pulls him down and Miz is crotched on the to prope! One armed suplex by Lashley!!!! Shoulder in the corner. Another. Neckbreaker to The Miz. Lashley sends Miz into the cage. Again! Flatliner from Lashley! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Lashley calls for a Spear but Miz drops down! He’s near the door! He tries to escape! Ciampa grabs his arm! He tries to pull Miz out! Lashley stops him, traps him between the ropes and the cage and just smashes Miz into the cage over and over again. Lashley waits for Miz to stand, calls for Hurt Lock. Miz is slow to stand, so Lashley grabs him, tries for the Hurt Lock, Miz elbows out, attacking the left arm. Elbow to the head. Miz starts the climb. Lashley is there to grab the boot. Lashley climbs up, grabs miz by the trunks this time and pulls Miz down to the top rope. He smashes Miz’s head into the cage. Miz drops down to the mat. Lashley continues the climb. Ciampa with a chair!! He smacks the foot and the cage! Lashley drops down, Miz hits him with a running knee!!!!

We return to The Miz with a Crossface on Lashley! Lashley is able to break out of it and stand. He goes for a shoulder, Miz moves. Miz climbs the corner! Lashley follows! He grabs the boot. Ciampa climbs the cage and grabs the hand of The Miz, but Lashley is able to pull him down anyway. Lashley locks the head of Miz. He drops down, Miz locks up from behind! Skull Crushing Final to Lashley!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Miz climbs towards the door, he gets to it, reaches for the apron. Lashley pulls him away, sends him face first into the cage! Ciampa slams the door, but Lashley stops it with his hand and slams it back into Ciampa’s face! Nice.

HERE COMES MIZ TO SMASH LASHLEY’S FACE WITH THE CAGE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Miz looks to climb. He starts by going up, gets a foot over, another,

Miz is now hanging from the cage, but….LUMIS SLIDES FROM UNDER THE RING AND DEATH STARES MIZ!!! Lumis, on his back, slides out as Miz climbs BACK INTO THE RING! Lumis stands and stares at Miz, but there’s Lashley with a spear! Cover for 1..2…..3!!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley
Lumis has a hell of a stare. This was surprisingly really really good, with Miz doing a hell of a lot more in terms of brutality, both receiving and giving, than I’ve seen him ever do. Solid win for Lashley, and a solid match to close out RAW.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 19:13

Miz tries to crawl out of the cage, but Lashley closes the door! Lumis ends up choking Miz out, then slowly petting him in the center of the ring as we end it.

End Show

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

I will concede that Braun's return put a damper on the viewing for a solid thirty minutes, but it will not affect the rating too much because a) I'm sure the entirety of the WWE is tired and b) I'm sure a majority of talent needed a rest. This was a pause for the sake of sanity, and I can appreciate that from the higher ups. This was noticeable only barely, because there was still some solid action here tonight, and the notion that there is much more meat on the bone of the stories being told. Owens is the easy MVP, as he gave Theory a quality match, continued to rise in the ranks, and is just an all around joy. Bayley circling Bianca then not attacking was just good mind games, and the main event felt like a main event. Major kudos to Miz and Lashley, because they did the damn thing. Now then, Braun. I was surprised by the crowd reaction because I, for one, would have been just fine never seeing Braun in the WWE again. I have nothing against him personally, even with the exposure we've seen of him over the past few years, I just think he lost a lot of luster during his stint and was inconsistent. This sour note only worsened as he came in and demolished a tag team match that had something at stake (regardless if we think the stakes were high or low), and made a few people to look pretty bad in the process. I'd rather he come out during a 24/7 Battle Royal, rip the belt, and eat it as a snack than what we saw tonight, but in a rare case, I am also willing to wait and see where this goes. We are in a new era, and it's ok to let things simmer, because for the first time in a long time, I trust the cooks.